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Fanfiction ► KingDumb Hearts

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Every Heart

Here We Go Again
Dec 5, 2004
Inside an empty room, my inspiration flows, now wa
All right, heres your chapter.

*A couple of hours later after getting Sora out of the ground*

Every Heart: The DaVinci Code was awesome! Too bad you missed it Sora.
Sora: Well, you all trapped me in the ground, how the hell was I suppossed to be able to see it?
Riku: Quit complaining about life, that's my job. Like how its my job to make your mom happy. *evil grin*
Sora: At least I have a mom!
*gasps all around the room*
Kairi: Wow...that was cold Sora, that was just plain cold.
Every Heart: Yeah Sora, that was just mean.
Riku: At least your mom is more into me than you!
*more gasps*
Every Heart: Sora got burned!!
Sora: Like I care, shouldn't we be doing the Destiny Islands scene? Or part of it anyway?
Every Heart: Oh right, everyone, places! Also, let me introduce you to Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie.
Kairi: *gasps* Tidus from Final Fantasy X? Where is he? *looks around*
Every Heart: Your fangirl....ism...aside, no, not the actual Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie, they are kid versions of said people.
*Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie walk in*
Kairi: Well, he still looks kinda cute.
Every Heart: Hes younger than you
Kairi: Your point?
Every Heart:......anyway, places!
Sora:*laying on the beach*
Kairi: Wake up you lazy bum! *kicks him in the nuts*
Sora: Holy shit!
Every Heart: Kairi, you arn't actually suppossed to kick him awake. Ok Sora?
Sora: Anyone got any ice?
Every Heart: Nevermind that, just move on and act like nothing happened.
Sora: Fine.
Kairi: I knew I'd find you snoozing down here.
Sora: This huge black thing swallowed me up! I....*knock at the door*
Every Heart: *answering it* Darkside? What are you doing here? We won't need you till later.
Darkside: No black jokes, I heard him say that a "black" thing swallowed him up. Watch it! *leaves*
Sora: .....I couldn't breathe, I couldn't....*gets hit in the head by Kairi.* Oww!!!!
Kairi: Are you sure that you weren't dreaming?
Sora: It wasn't a dream! Or was it? I don't know. Say Kairi, what was your hometown like, you know, where you grew up?
Kairi: I told you, I don't remember anything at all.
Sora: Nothing at all?
Kairi: Nothing.
Sora: Would you ever want to go back?
Kairi: Hmm...well, I'm happy here.
Every Heart: *So far, everything is working out, we may be able to get through this!*
Riku: *enters* Hey, I knew I would find you two screwing around back here. Your suppossed to be helping me build a raft!
Every Heart: *spoke too soon*
Sora: *just like how you screw with my mom**cough*
Kairi: Ok, We'll finish it together, I'll race you!
Riku: You kidding? A girl can't outrun us.
Kairi: Excuse me? *pummels him*
Sora: *Kairi is one girl he is never gonna do*
Every Heart: *sighs* Kairi....
Kairi: Right, sorry. Ready, Set, Go!
*the three run, but since Sora was losing, he trips Riku on the way*
Riku: You cheater!!!!!! *chases and mauls him down*
*Later, after Sora got the supplies for the first day*
Every Heart: Ok, now go pick a fight with Selphie.
Sora: *shrugs as he walks up to Selphie*
Selphie: The breeze feels great.
Sora: *watches as "the breeze" lifts her skirt up a little* Uhh....yeah. Sure is great...
*fights Selphie, then eventually fights Wakka and Tidus*
Tidus: Ok, all three of us against him!
Sora: Wait, what? No! No gang rape! No 4 ways! I'm not gay! *runs away*
Riku: What the hell was that about?
Sora: *hiding in the hall closet*
Every Heart: I guess we have to wait until later to do the second part of Destiny Islands. Wait until he calms down.
Riku: Or until he stops wetting himself?
Every Heart: I really don't care which one to come first.
Kairi: While we are waiting, anyone up for strip poker?
Every Heart: I love this game! I never lose.
Riku: Me neither, you should see my poker face.
Every Heart: You mean the same face you use for your pimp face? Or emo face? Because I've already seen both.
Kairi: Lets just play already.
*so later.....*
Every Heart: You lose again Riku, now lose the shirt! *is wearing some of Rikus emo jewelry*
Riku: Gods damnit!
Kairi: *wearing most of Rikus emo peircings* Yeah, lets go, all you have left are the pants, sure you want to risk it?
Riku: Is Sora ok now?
Every Heart: Let me check. *looks into the closet where hes still hiding* Nope.
Sora: 4 WAYS.......

Riku: Crud. Wheres Selphie, Wakka, and Tidus?
Every Heart: They went home, they figured this would take too long. Now lets go!
*a few minutes later, swear words are being heard across the tri city area*

Next time on Kingdumb Hearts, we will finally do the second part of Destiny Islands as soon as Sora gets over himself. Also, your gonna have to find out on your own who it was that swore. (Riku sure has some nice boxers and bling. Makes me wish I had bling like that)

Every Heart

Here We Go Again
Dec 5, 2004
Inside an empty room, my inspiration flows, now wa
The next chapter! Drum roll please! *a drum rolls by* Not what I meant.

*Sora, Kairi, and Riku are sitting on the palm tree*
Sora: Well, we finally got that raft done.
Riku: Yeah, no thanks to your huge clown feet stepping on everything.
Sora: Well sorry! But everybody knows that people with big feet are sexy.
Riku: Thats just some urban myth that mothers of clown children tell them before they go to sleep.
Kairi: Anybody noticed that Every Heart hasn't said anything about the way we have been doing this scene?
Every Heart: Shag off, I'm watching my auction.
Riku: What auction is that?
Every Heart: I'm auctioning all of your guys stuff on Ebay.
Riku: Bitch.
Every Heart: Don't worry, I'm only selling Soras underpants right now.
Riku: Oh well, thats ok then.
Sora: Hey!
Every Heart: Not going so well because people find it wussy that he wears briefs and not boxers.
Kairi: Sora, I thought you said that you wore boxers! You pansy.
Sora: Shag off all of you.
Every Heart: Just continue with the scene please.
Riku:....Anyway...I think theres more to life, more worlds to visit, more sights to see, more people to do...
Kairi: What are you, a chick?
Riku: Hey, you weren't complaining about my feelings last night. But then again, neither was Soras mom.
Sora: Your high or something, huh?
Riku: Maybe. *gods* If Kairi never came here, we would of never found out about other worlds. (And I would of probably became a fag) So...Thanks Kairi.
Kairi: Your welcome. (Pansy)
*they are walking home*
Riku: Sora, catch!
*Sora gets hit with the Paupu fruit in the back of the head*
Sora: Ouch!

Riku: Sorry, but here.
Sora: Wait, I can't take this, I promised Every Heart and Kairi that I quit smoking these.
Riku: You dumbass, its not for you to smoke. If two people share one, they remain a part of each others lifes, no matter what. I know you want to try it.
Sora: God your sick*is thinking that Riku meant connected by the lower halfs* And besides, I wouldn't do it with you, you emo fag. *tosses fruit over the side, but then he jumps after it*
Sora: I almost forgot about the leaves. ^_^

Every Heart: And cut! We'll edit all that crap later. Now we cut to the Disney Castle scene!
Kairi: Disney Castle scene?
Every Heart: Yep, now its time for me to introduce two of our newest members, Goofy and Donald!
*crickets chirp*
Every Heart:.....I said, introducing Goofy and Donald! .....Get in here pencil ****s!
*The two come in*
Goofy: Gawrsh, sorry it took so long, they were serving bagels in the break room.
Sora: Bagels!!! *runs out of the room*
Every Heart:.....anyway, lets just do the scene.
*So now it shows Donald walking down the hallway. He knocks on the door. Nothing happens. But then the huge door swings open and smacks him into the wall.*
Every Heart: Someone cut a whole inside the bigass door so that he can get in!

*Retake* *Donald walks through the door and up to the throne.*
Donald: Good morning your Majesty! Its so nice to see you this morn.....*notices kings not there* Wha? *then notices an empty bag behind the throne*
Donald: He took me and Goofys weed! *runs out of the room screaming*
*Goofy is asleep in the field*
Donald: Wake up! This is serious!.....*notices hes not gonna wake up* Wake up biotch, you've been sleeping all day! *electrocutes him with Thunder*
Goofy: What the hells wrong with you, you bastard!

Donald: (I can't find our weed anywhere!) The King is Gone!
Goofy: Really?
Donald: Yes dumbass, I just said that.
Goofy: I hope you burn in hell, along with me of course.
Donald: This is serious, pay attention you dolt! The dog was holding a letter saying that the King was gone and so was the you know what.
Goofy: *pointing* (Hey look, bitches, lets do them later when no ones looking) Hiya Minnie and Daisy!
Donald: (You sick pedophile, Daisys my girlfriend!) *jumps Goofy and they beat each other up*
Riku: Every Heart, are you actually gonna let this be in the game?
Every Heart: Hell no, I'll be deleting the voices and replacing them.
Riku: So why are we here?
Every Heart: So that you can do the apperence part.
Sora: I'm back with the bagels!
Kairi: What took you so long?
Sora: I found some very interesting uses for a bagel *secret smile*

Next time on KingDumb Hearts, The final(hopefully) part of Destiny Islands. And as far as what Sora meant by "interesting uses for a bagel", I'm not really sure what he meant. Not sure if I want to know either. Also, I got 200 dollars for Soras underpants on Ebay!
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Every Heart

Here We Go Again
Dec 5, 2004
Inside an empty room, my inspiration flows, now wa
Sora: Sorry, but this chapter has been put off temporarily.
*gasps from everyone in the audience*
Riku: Why the hell not? Why not have a chapter.
Sora: Somethings wrong with Every Heart. She keeps singing Double Trouble by Team Rocket of Pokemon. Then she all of a sudden bursts into tears about the ending of FullMetal Alchemist, I'm not sure what it is. And sometimes she starts singing in Japanese about FullMetal Alchemist or Inuyasha songs.
Every Heart: Prepare for trouble! Make it double!
Kairi: I've seen this before.
Sora: You have?
Kairi: No.
Riku: But......
Kairi: But I do know what this is. Shes suffering from Fangirl Sychosis She probably got it from me.
Riku: Can you explain this in English? I think Sora will have a hard time following, so his head might explode.
Sora: Are you suggesting that I'm stupid?
Riku: I'm not suggesting it. I know it, you cokehead. Smoking those Paupu leaves kill brain cells.
Sora: *smoking a leaf* Whats a brain cell?
Riku: Point for Riku.
Every Heart: No!!!! FMA CAN'T BE OVER!!!!
Kairi: Right, about Every Heart. Anyway, shes having an anime overload. When you watch too much anime, it affects your brain.
Every Heart: Talkin Trouble, Walkin Trouble, Big Troubles gonna follow you!
Sora: Is there a cure?
Kairi: Yeah there is. You make her watch......educational television!!
Riku: *gasps* The horror!!!
Sora: Oh my god. Theres nothing worse than educational televison.
Kairi: It gets worse. You have to watch a segment of Oprah Winfry.
Sora: I never knew Kairi was knowledgeable in this kind of thing.
Riku: I just assumed that she was a whore. Not an intelligent whore.
Kairi: Shut the hell up both of you. Lets just grab her and drag her over to the wide screen tv.
Every Heart: No!!! Not Oprah!! *being dragged by the ankles* Shes having that special on anorexic people! Not like I care!!!
Riku: Sorry Every Heart, but its to cure your condition.
Every Heart: Ok, look. Before you make me watch Oprah, lets just sing a FullMetal Alchemist song.
Sora: *sighs* Fine, which one?
Every Heart: Ready Steady Go!!
Riku:....your high, right? Theres no way we are going to end this chapter by singing that.
Kairi: Wait, I thought this wasn't a chapter.
Sora: Kairi, its one of those shorts that people throw into a show that has nothing to do with the show, it just involves the characters. And usually the shorts end in songs ripped from other animes.
Kairi: Ohh.
Sora: Lets just end this chapter already. Lets do the stupid song.
Riku: Yeah, lets get this over with.
Ready Steady Go
(the short english version)
*insert background music here*
Ready Steady (Can't Hold Me Back)
Ready Steady(Give Me Good Luck)
Ready Steady(Never Look Back)
Let's get started Ready Steady Go!!!
Riku: Sora, I never knew that you had a sexy singing voice. You too Every.
Sora: o_O I thought you weren't gay!
Riku: Didn't you here me say that I thought Every had a sexy singing voice?
Kairi: What about me?
Riku: You? You sound like a trapped cat under a laundry basket.
Every Heart: I wanna finish the song!!
The scenery flies by me and appers before me as if it's rolling
Even if I must get desperate, I won't let the target get away
If a map is unreliable, just burn it
Let's grab ahold of the buried truth with this hand
I've come here by running frantically
There is a loud beat so loud it feels like it's going to explode
I hear your voice echoing and calling me
But I have no time to stop here
Ready Steady Go
Please Trust Me
*background music some more, then ends*
Every Heart: Yay!! I love these songs!
Kairi: Alright, march to the tv with Oprahs face on it.
Riku: It's the only cure for Fangirl Sychosis.
Every Heart: Damn, I forgot about that. But come on, she has a fat ass! (no offense Oprah)
Oprah: None taken Every
Everyone: o_O
Sora: Did the tv just....talk?
Riku: Maybe we are all just really high and imagining it.
Oprah: You are not imagining it. I am talking to you.
Everyone: AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!*runs out of the room screaming as Oprah comes out of the tv after them, followed by Dr. Phil and David Letterman*
Those three I mentioned earlier: We just wanna interview you!
Everyone: Never!!!!
*Sora wakes up in his bed*
Sora: Wow, I had the craziest dream. Every Heart had Fangirl Sychosis and we sung a FullMetal Alchemist theme and Oprah came out of the tv.
Riku: *sitting up* Wow, I had the craziest dream about Oprah too.
*Sora wakes up again*
Sora: Wow...that was a crazy dream.
Riku: Tell me about it.
Sora: He's still here!!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!
*wakes up again, this time under an overpass on the highway*
Sora: Huh? Where am I? Thank God, it was only a dream. But....how did I end up here? Wasn't I end my house? And who the hell is R. W.? (found a hankerchief with these initials on it in his pocket)
*meanwhile on the set at the studio*
Every Heart: Places people....
Kairi: Wait a second, wheres Sora?
Riku: Hes probably smoking Paupu leaves under the overpass on the highway. I'll go find him.
Every Heart: Hey Riku, I found this out not too long ago, but I didn't know that you were jewish.
Riku: How did you know?
Every Heart: Your last name is Weinstein. How weird....
*dun dun dun dun dun!!!!!*

Who is R. W.? Is it Riku? Is it? IS IT??? Nope, just kidding, the R. W. actually stands for Reese Witherspoon. Riku is not gay. Its just an allusion type of thing.

Then again.....

*shudders* Nope, don't want to think about it.

Next time on Kingdumb Hearts, they do that last part of Destiny Islands. Finally.
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