KH Poem - In Monochrome

[Xelnyn]

So I had the first four lines stuck in my head and this afternoon I finally wrote them down. The rest of the poem just sort of...happened.

Emo? Yes. Cliche? I think so.

But gosh darn it, I like it.


It's about The World That Never Was.
Interpret it however you like; I don't really know who might be narrating it.

So anyway,
Here it go.

---------
there was once a dreary town,
"Melancholy"
in monochrome and monotones
I once lived there

no bird would sing
nor flower bloom
a pallet of shades of gray
was the town Melancholy

there was once an empty town,
"Melancholy"
with empty skies and empty rain
empty hearts, empty tearstains
empty roads, empty shadows

hidden kingdom of promise
fleeting thoughts, useless dreams
so said the empty
City Melancholy

there was once a heartless town,
"Melancholy"
between light and dark
swallower of hearts

on the brink of chaos
the final road to midnight
a castle of oblivion
sat upon the hill

there was once a dreary town,
"Melancholy"
in monochrome and monotones,
we lived there, you and me

 

[afrobutt]

Ignoring that it's KH related, not terrible.

The KH references kind of ruin it, such as "hidden kingdom of promise", "between light and dark swallower of hearts", and "on the brink of chaos the final road to midnight a castle of oblivion". They offset the feeling of melancholy, and don't suit the poem well.

But besides that, I liked it enough

 

[nelly <3]

its kay you kh nerd.

:]

 

[impart]

i liked it, it put cool pictures in my head :}

 

[Xelnyn]

Ignoring that it's KH related, not terrible.

The KH references kind of ruin it, such as "hidden kingdom of promise", "between light and dark swallower of hearts", and "on the brink of chaos the final road to midnight a castle of oblivion". They offset the feeling of melancholy, and don't suit the poem well.

But besides that, I liked it enough

Yeah, I actually really agree with you on that one. And considering that I wrote it in the span of 20 minutes (while multitasking with internets and drawing a comic) it could have been much better. I kind of want to rewrite most of it anyway. xD;