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SorasTwilight

New member
Joined
Aug 15, 2009
Messages
341
Location
Disney World
Website
www.youravon.com
My feet are blistered
from every battle I
fought. The guns in
my pockets could be
mistaken for ashes.
Lifeless figures whom
I once loved were
behind me. I
surrounded myself
with the victory of
a global reclusion.
The conquest was
short-lived as I grew
wings and flew across
my battlefields.
Weapons, now pointless,
tossed aside fallen corpses.
I realized where I am,
high above, was my true
destination. Higher than
the ones who’d hurt me,
taller than the fiends who
scarred me.
My new wings give me
purpose. A clearer
understanding of
future battles. As long
as I soar above the clouds,
none of public’s harsh
bullets will take me down.
 

SorasTwilight

New member
Joined
Aug 15, 2009
Messages
341
Location
Disney World
Website
www.youravon.com
One of my newest poems. Please, as part of the process that I am with in the English department, my professors would like to see at least five people comment on this poem alone to see where my poetry will go next :). Tell me what you think and I will post another one soon!
 

KingdomKey

The Traveler
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
6,260
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This is pretty good for a poem. It's detailed and flows really nicely as you describe what's going on. I like your word play by using "public" because, this could be describing more than a war zone and could be interpreted in other ways. It's like this person has rise above whatever obstacle was in their way after fighting it for so long and became more assertive, knowing nothing could bring them now, because they believed in themselves. :) Sorry for the delay in response btw. I'm not sure you'll get a whole lot of comments here, but at least you got one. lol.
 
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