Help/Support ► Friend problems

[ViVi94]

I really need help on this, I have this friend, she's like one of those friends you would die for, no question. And then there's Victoria, It's like one of those, I would die just to make her life a living hell things. Now my friend is friends with Victoria and now she talks about me behind my back but we're still friends. When we're in the same room shes neutural, no wait, she still treats me like crap when I'm around, just not as bad.

Now I overheard my friend saying that she tried to cut herself (which is what Victoria does, she actually shows off her scars) but her little sisters came in so she stopped. She's going to end up like I always pictured Victoria, and it scares me. I've thought about breaking up the friendship but I think I'm too shy to make new friends, and she's all I have. Ever since kindergarden, when I went up to talk to someone they would just walk away and push me around, and I don't remember what I ever did to them, I think Victoria told them to do that. And I'm still holding on to the possibility that she'll get whats been going on and stop but I know it's never going to happen.

And just a couple days ago she asked for money and I said no, I'm almost broke, but she kept asking me and then she just yelled at me and told me to go home, and you bet, Victoria was there.

Now she's making fun of a bunch of other people that I think are really nice, that haven't done anything to her, and now shes calling them whores, sluts and everything else. She used to be so nice but now I don't know, Victoria's brainwashing her or something. So should I break up the friendship, and if I do whats a easy way to totally break someones heart, or will she even care?

 

[Stavvy]

Well, if you really have to cut off the relationship there's no easy way. You could start avoiding her. . .

I'd advise you to talk to her, ask her really what's wrong, ask her why she does what she does.

 

[ViVi94]

Yea but my parents think I'm just being used, I think they're right. And this isn't a easy thing to just bring up, I'm too scared to ask her, she's very VERY touchy, So you would imagine what would happen if I walked up to her saying, "Hey, why do you treat me like crap?" Plus it's almost impossible to say whats on my mind with IT watching me like a halk.

 

[Stavvy]

But if you really think that you should break it off then you should just do it, you don't really care about her anymore, do you?

 

[darkness_boy6]

I think you should first ask her what is wrong and if she just gets mad leave her alone for a while

 

[violent_anger]

are you asking for help to make her nice again, or to end the friendship?

 

[I]

This sounds a lot like what happened to me a couple of years ago (after my best friend decided she was lesbian and everyone thought I was lesbian with her- it sucked so bad...)

If your friend is starting to treat you like crap just because of what the other girl is saying or doing, then you just need to cut her off. Like, just take some time to step back and see what happens... Give her some space, don't call for a while- if she's still going out of her way to be mean to you, then I guess ditch her; if not, then keep her as your friend. It's not worth you being unhappy just because your friend decided to listen to some idiot

 

[Raiton Kensei]

I think you should end the relationship. It sounds to me like wants nothing to do with you anymore, so you do the same. Treat others the way you want to be treated. You have other friends to hang with.

 

[Davy Jones]

Sounds like what happened to me when I crossed over to Junior High. I lost a lot of my good friends the the 'cool crowd', and now they avoid me like the plague or make fun of me. But I have made lots of new friends in JH that are much better than any I had before, and the friends that still stuck with me are still good friends. So, my advice is either to break off and find someone else, or you can try to talk to your friend and telling her all your thoughts in one fell swoop.

 

[Henskie]

I my self am usually soft spoken and I encountered a sort of similar problem. I had a friend that I asked to the prom. I liked this girl a lot and I was excited for it but then she got a boyfriend and I broke the prom date thing off because it would be too hard on me. That took all the guts I had. Now to the part like yours... Well there is a girl who is/was friends with my friends and the girl I liked she is/was a heinous bitch and treated me like crap. When I broke off the prom date she threatened to kill me in various extremely painful ways. She would smack me and hit me in the balls but because of my moral code i wouldnt fight back. During that all of my friends began to get on my case and hassle me about my decision but I stood strong. One day the bitchy girl cornered me and started really hassling me and I snapped, I told her all of the things that I held inside even the things that I would never say. She then cried and left and the next day acted like I was the greatest person in the world.

Though my little story may not apply I feel like you need to go to the source this Victoria girl needs a serious kick in the pants if you know what I mean. I think you should tell one of them, either your friend or her friend, how you feel and let your thoughts be known. Bottling up your emotions never helps anyone

 

[ViVi94]

Though my little story may not apply I feel like you need to go to the source this Victoria girl needs a serious kick in the pants if you know what I mean

You just made my day lol. And another thing, Victoria's constant insults made me not want to talk, people thought I was def until 3rd grade. So really all I have is that friend. (her name's Caitlin by the way) Anyway, I tried talking to her before but Victoria yelled at me and said she didn't want to talk to me and they walked away laughing.

 

[Henskie]

I am glad you enjoyed it lol. You should definitely tell her off for god's sake who made her the ruler of the universe? She seriously needs to lay off the drugs. Next time you try to talk to you friend Caitlin (which sounds like cute name btw) and Icky tries to butt in say "I am sorry but was I talking to you? Oh yea thats right I was talking to Caitlin" then think in your head OWNED!! Lol though you might not do exactly what I said standing up for yourself in that situation will make her back off. Bullies like her feel off of the lack of their victims resolve to fight back. If you push back with equal force she will back down

 

[kairigirl]

To be honest though, I wouldn't talk to Caitlyn at all unless Vicky's not around. :/ She sounds extremely controlling, and even if you do stand up to her, who's to say she won't turn around and punch you in the face? If I were her, I pry would, seeing how awful she is. (I'm assuming you're a girl as well, seeing how you've not mentioned anything about liking her).

Try and see about talking to Caitlyn on your own. Invite her to a movie or a game or something where it's just the two of you and you're able to talk to her. Maybe she's had a rough time and Vicky offered her an outlet. And then Vicky turned into her role model because Vick offered her an outlet. Vicky may be doing this just to get at you and make you do something stupid, or just trying to put you down to let herself feel better.

There's a ton of possible emotional things that could fly here, but I'd sugget talking to Caitlyn when she's by herself. But shoot, if you can't and she won't, I'd definitely do what Henskie said. Tell them both off though. <-< Make sure you know how to throw a punch though if it came to that.

 

[ViVi94]

Yea I'm a girl. Okay, today Caitlin called me the B word and started yelling at me, and why? Because at lunch She grabed my milk and poured it on someone elses tray. And I got mad because I was thirsty. (I didn't even yell, all I did was pour the remaining part of my milk on her tray, keep in mind she does this to me at least once a week, so now im giving her the silent treatment until she asks whats wrong, then Im gonna tell her whats wrong. And the only thing that would help me in a fight is my Italian heritage (which is only about 20%) and my cross country training (add adrenalin in with running and you could go as fast as a ten speed bike lol)

 

[shadow_soraxiii]

who cares? move on with life! the past is past, put it behind u.....live for today

 

[violent_anger]

i would negative rep you so many times if i could...



so anyways, the problem isn't really how to break it off with her, it's how to have friends afterwards, correct?

 

[ViVi94]

Kind of,and I don't know exactly how to break it up either, so thats still a problem. anyway today she came up to me at the candy store and started talking to me like nothing happened. So I ignored her, bought my candy and went home, so she followed me home and asked if we could talk and I said no and closed the door. Im really getting annoyed. She always does this, she'll do something bad and then give me a sob story and im too nice to leave her there but now I'm not taking anymore sob stories from her.

 

[Fuse]

Well,

I had this problem in Junior High.
I moved away from my home state for a few years, came back, and my friend treated me as worthless as trash.

We fought (like fist fighting) alot.

Eventually he worked out of it. But of course..it was only JH

(I'm assuming that age on your mini-profile is correct)
Your probably a Sophomore in HS. So it could be a little bit more difficult for her to change.

But I'd say talk to her about it and see how she feels about Victoria and tell her what you see in her when they are together.

But, yeah be ready for a fight if shes emotional and will actually go to those extremes lol.

 

[ViVi94]

Yea, ive been meaining to tell people this, I think I messed up on the age thing, I scroll down using the mouse wheel so when I went to scroll I think it took it that I wanted to change my age so Im only 13 but I accedentally put 16. And yes she will go to those extreams, one time she punched a guy because he threw a snowball at her.

 

[KH*GOT*ME*CRAZY9]

Oh well sorry for your friend problems. But you guys are best friends correct? Maybe you guys should make up! I am serious on this one. You can't go on fighing like this! You know I am a sophmore in highschool. ( sorry I am a horrible speller lol ) And one time my friend Stacie and I were fighting and we never said sorry and when I had the nerve to go up to her and say sorry...she had moved away. I really felt horrible and I missed her soooooooo much. Do you want that to happen to you? Think about it...