very nice chapter, how much did they cry by now?
Fanfiction ► First Fanfic! w00t!
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yup, there's waay too much crying dd lol, i didn't even notice until i typed it up here! ^^;
thanks KK, you rule!
thankyou for the cc, your comments can help me improve
and to be honest, i agree with all of it. except the comment from D_S about me needing to improve my grammar, there are no spelling or punctuation mistakes that i know about, i use a dictionary while writing, space out paragraphs, begin new lines when someone new talks... etc etc... im an english nerd lol.
i started writing this a month or so ago, i know the beginnning is unoriginal, sorry about it being so slow moving. i didnt want a fanfic that moved at lightning pace and crammed too much into each chappy. >.< if people continue to read, it's going to be pretty long. there's another chappy or two to go before it's different. (it's when the full storyline kicks off.) bear with me, though, because as far as i know, the rest of the storyline is completely original
heh, it's a crappy title for sure, k&s, i just couldn't think of a good title...im not so good with names.
seriously though, thankyou for your criticism. without it, my writing will go nowhere. let me know if there's anything else about it i can change ^_^
here's the next chappy. it's kinda long, but not too bad. let me know what you think.
Chapter 10
Alone in the Secret Place, Kairi wept for Sora. Only a minute had passed, yet she missed him as though he'd been gone for a lifetime. She missed everything about him, his touch, his scent, his eyes, even the sound of his voice. She took comfort in the fact that this time, she knew he'd return. It was just a matter of when. Weeks. Months. Even years.
Surrounded by her memories, she looked at the precious times preserved forever in the stone. She spotted another empty space. "Well, it could pass the time..." She picked up a stone and began to carve the day into the solid rock. All the while she thought of Sora, and Riku, wherever he was. She hoped he was safe, and that he'd be ok until he was rescued. She hoped it wouldn't be long before they were all reunited, never to be parted again.
Her thoughts were interrupted by an enormous clap of thunder. It shook the cave, sending little pebbles and clouds of dust over Kairi's body. She dropped to the floor and protected her head. Her thoughts immediately turned to Sora.
"I hope the gummi ship is alright in this storm," she thought. The weather outside was terrible. She'd never known a storm like it. It was dangerous out there.
Another noise echoed through the cave. Kairi lay perfectly still on the unwelcoming stone floor.
"Hello?" she called out, still staying motionless on the floor.
It echoed again. It sounded strangely... familiar. Almost comforting. Kairi sighed, thinking it was her longing mind playing tricks on her. "Wishful thinking..." she thought. "He's going to be gone a lot longer than two minutes, Kairi, get used to it." she told herself, over and over again.
But there it was again. Closer now, as if it was moving towards her. And again. It was much clearer now.
"Kairi!" it echoed. Her eyes widened. She wasn't just imagining it. It was calling her name. She lifted her head from the floor and cautiously looked behind her.
"Sora?!" she gasped, her eyes fixed on him. She was immobilized with shock. "What are you doing here?!" He stood in the doorway, completely breathless, red in the face.
"We have to go, right now," he gulped down deep breaths of air. He grabbed her arm and pulled her up off the floor. "Come on."
Sora dragged her out of the Secret Place, where Donald and Goofy were waiting. They broke into a sprint. The storm was directly overhead, and challenging it was impossible.
"What's going on?!" Kairi shouted at the top of her lungs, trying to make herself heard over the terrifying crashes of the storm, and the pained screeching of the wind.
"I don't know," Sora yelled back at her. "I ran into these guys, and they told me to come and find you. There wasn't any time for them to explain either." Donald turned his head as he ran.
"Sorry, Kairi!" he quacked as loud as he could. "King Mickey didn't have time to tell us, but I'm sure he'll explain all of this once we've reached the gummi ship!"
They all struggled to run against the aggressive winds. Kairi found it increasingly difficult, she wasn't as strong as the others. A blinding bolt of blue lightning struck a palm tree up ahead. It screeched as it toppled over, as if the lightning was torturing it to death. It landed on the wet sand beneath it. The thunder rolled overhead.
"Look out!" cried Goofy, jumping over the tree, followed closely by Donald. Sora picked up Kairi as he approached the fallen tree. He just managed to leap over it, landing shakily on the other side. And there it was. The gummi ship. They all piled in, slamming the door firmly shut behind them. At least they were sheltered now, safe.
comments please, as always, cc is appreaciated ^^
thanks KK, you rule!
thankyou for the cc, your comments can help me improve
and to be honest, i agree with all of it. except the comment from D_S about me needing to improve my grammar, there are no spelling or punctuation mistakes that i know about, i use a dictionary while writing, space out paragraphs, begin new lines when someone new talks... etc etc... im an english nerd lol.i started writing this a month or so ago, i know the beginnning is unoriginal, sorry about it being so slow moving. i didnt want a fanfic that moved at lightning pace and crammed too much into each chappy. >.< if people continue to read, it's going to be pretty long. there's another chappy or two to go before it's different. (it's when the full storyline kicks off.) bear with me, though, because as far as i know, the rest of the storyline is completely original
heh, it's a crappy title for sure, k&s, i just couldn't think of a good title...im not so good with names.
seriously though, thankyou for your criticism. without it, my writing will go nowhere. let me know if there's anything else about it i can change ^_^
here's the next chappy. it's kinda long, but not too bad. let me know what you think.
Chapter 10
Alone in the Secret Place, Kairi wept for Sora. Only a minute had passed, yet she missed him as though he'd been gone for a lifetime. She missed everything about him, his touch, his scent, his eyes, even the sound of his voice. She took comfort in the fact that this time, she knew he'd return. It was just a matter of when. Weeks. Months. Even years.
Surrounded by her memories, she looked at the precious times preserved forever in the stone. She spotted another empty space. "Well, it could pass the time..." She picked up a stone and began to carve the day into the solid rock. All the while she thought of Sora, and Riku, wherever he was. She hoped he was safe, and that he'd be ok until he was rescued. She hoped it wouldn't be long before they were all reunited, never to be parted again.
Her thoughts were interrupted by an enormous clap of thunder. It shook the cave, sending little pebbles and clouds of dust over Kairi's body. She dropped to the floor and protected her head. Her thoughts immediately turned to Sora.
"I hope the gummi ship is alright in this storm," she thought. The weather outside was terrible. She'd never known a storm like it. It was dangerous out there.
Another noise echoed through the cave. Kairi lay perfectly still on the unwelcoming stone floor.
"Hello?" she called out, still staying motionless on the floor.
It echoed again. It sounded strangely... familiar. Almost comforting. Kairi sighed, thinking it was her longing mind playing tricks on her. "Wishful thinking..." she thought. "He's going to be gone a lot longer than two minutes, Kairi, get used to it." she told herself, over and over again.
But there it was again. Closer now, as if it was moving towards her. And again. It was much clearer now.
"Kairi!" it echoed. Her eyes widened. She wasn't just imagining it. It was calling her name. She lifted her head from the floor and cautiously looked behind her.
"Sora?!" she gasped, her eyes fixed on him. She was immobilized with shock. "What are you doing here?!" He stood in the doorway, completely breathless, red in the face.
"We have to go, right now," he gulped down deep breaths of air. He grabbed her arm and pulled her up off the floor. "Come on."
Sora dragged her out of the Secret Place, where Donald and Goofy were waiting. They broke into a sprint. The storm was directly overhead, and challenging it was impossible.
"What's going on?!" Kairi shouted at the top of her lungs, trying to make herself heard over the terrifying crashes of the storm, and the pained screeching of the wind.
"I don't know," Sora yelled back at her. "I ran into these guys, and they told me to come and find you. There wasn't any time for them to explain either." Donald turned his head as he ran.
"Sorry, Kairi!" he quacked as loud as he could. "King Mickey didn't have time to tell us, but I'm sure he'll explain all of this once we've reached the gummi ship!"
They all struggled to run against the aggressive winds. Kairi found it increasingly difficult, she wasn't as strong as the others. A blinding bolt of blue lightning struck a palm tree up ahead. It screeched as it toppled over, as if the lightning was torturing it to death. It landed on the wet sand beneath it. The thunder rolled overhead.
"Look out!" cried Goofy, jumping over the tree, followed closely by Donald. Sora picked up Kairi as he approached the fallen tree. He just managed to leap over it, landing shakily on the other side. And there it was. The gummi ship. They all piled in, slamming the door firmly shut behind them. At least they were sheltered now, safe.
comments please, as always, cc is appreaciated ^^
I know. That was just my opinion, and we all have differnt opinions. We all have different opinions, but can still be freinds, normally. And my opinion was DARN YOU KLIFFHANGER! It was a good chapter Snow,(If I may call you that.)Kairi&Sora 4ever said:sorry KK but im gonna have to take D_S's side on this one (but you're still one of my best friends/fans
lol someone is not liking the cliffhangers. good chapter, what willhappen next
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dark_dutchman said:
you'll find out soon enough
course you can call me snow, KK ^^ thanks, sorry about the cliffhanger, it was either a cliffhanger or a very very short chapter. betcha didnt expect sora back so soon
Chapter Eleven
Kairi shivered, soaked wet through. Her skin was even paler than usual. The hairs on her body all stood up. She was too busy thinking to worry about how cold she was. She daydreamed, wondering why she was there, staring into space, unable to focus on anything in particular. She was lost in thought.
"It's good to finally meet you, Kairi," a voice said. Kairi snapped out of her daydreams and looked up. There he was. King Mickey.
"Oh, thankyou... um..." a little flustered, she had no idea what to do or say. She sort of bowed towards him. "Uh, your majesty?" He smiled. For a king, he didn't seem regal at all. He was very friendly and welcoming.
"You two look freezing!" he noticed. "I'll be back in a moment, I'm sure there are some blankets you can use in the other room. I'll get them for you." The King walked out, closely followed by Donald and Goofy. Sora turned to Kairi.
"Are you alright?" he asked, hugging her, trying to keep her warm. It wasn't much help, as he, too, was soaked to the bone. Still, his kindly gesture was thoughtful. His usually spikey hair was flat and wet. It covered his face. Kairi nodded, her whole body quivering. The cold had begun to take effect.
"Yeah," she replied. "King Mickey was nice, he wasn't as high and mighty as i thought he would be. But..."
"What?" Sora looked puzzled.
"Well... why am I here?" she asked. "Should I say something?" Sora shook his head.
"Nah," he played with her wet hair. "Donald and Goofy will probably mention it to him now." He shook his head to partition the soaked mop that hid his face. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about." Reassured, Kairi smiled at him. The King had returned, Donald and Goofy still following along behind him.
"Here," he handed Sora and Kairi some blankets.
"Thanks," Sora responded, helping Kairi get wrapped up in hers. Donald and Goofy sat down at the front of the cockpit, beginning the takeoff procedure. The King took a seat behind them.
"Sit down," he insisted. "I think it's time I explained all of this."
Sora and Kairi followed his orders, keen to discover what was going on.
"I know where Riku is," he announced. Sora sat up straight in his seat. His whole face lit up.
"Where?" he was impatient. "Are we going after him?" Sora knew he wouldn't stop until he was certain that Riku was safe. The King nodded.
"Yes," he continued. "We're going to a place called Square-One. Its the point where the all the material that created the worlds first gathered, even before they were created."Kairi was on the edge of her seat, listening carefully.
"Is Riku alright?" she asked. "I mean, he isn't in any danger, right?"
The King's facial expression dropped. He sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead.
"That's the only thing..." he seemed distant, despite the fact he was just inches from their faces. "I don't know. While I was at Disney Castle, making repairs, I recieved a message. It was just after Sora left, I think."
"You mean, last night?" Sora asked. "When I went to see Kairi?"
"Oh, yes," the King realised. "I'm sorry, I'm a bit messed up with all of this." He managed a weak laugh, a failed attempt at trying to lighten the mood. "I don't know how I can say it, so..." He reached into his pocket. Pulled out a crinkled piece of stained paper. The crumpled edges were all torn and burnt. He gave it to Sora. "Here." Sora read aloud:
"We have Riku."
sorry, another cliffhanger >.< the chappy was quite long too.
let me know what you all think, you know i love to hear comments, good or bad ^_^
That was a good chapter! Me and Cliffhanger are spending time together to get rid og our mutual hetred for eachother!
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breaking down the barriers lol
thanks, i wasn't too sure about the ending, leaving you guys hanging and all, but i thought it would keep the interest there ^^
thanks, i wasn't too sure about the ending, leaving you guys hanging and all, but i thought it would keep the interest there ^^
Don't worry. Me and cliffhanger are freinds now.
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good, im sure your friendship will last forever <3
<3Thanks! But, I hope there be no arguments!
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i know, cliffhanger isn't so friendly when you argue...
I know. I can't wait for the new chappie!
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thanks should be up in the next day or two, depending on when i can get online.
like ive said a few times, i'm a few chappies ahead on paper than i am online. i write everything down on paper, whenever i get a minute. the next 3 chappies are already done. what do you think of the storyline so far?
should be up in the next day or two, depending on when i can get online.like ive said a few times, i'm a few chappies ahead on paper than i am online. i write everything down on paper, whenever i get a minute. the next 3 chappies are already done. what do you think of the storyline so far?
Its good. Beginning was a bit un-original, but now the story is gettng fulll blast fun!
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yeah, i know about the very beginning >.< itll haunt me forever lol
i write at a slow pace, i don't want everything to be meaningless, without description and everything. it should be a little better now
i write at a slow pace, i don't want everything to be meaningless, without description and everything. it should be a little better now
Ok, I cant wait for the new chappie!!!!!!!!!!!!
almost a whole page about cliffhanger. i had a fight with him once, he let me fall.
very nice chapter btw.
very nice chapter btw.
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awww, hope you were ok, that cliffhanger is mean!dark_dutchman said:
thanks
glad you like it!Chapter Twelve
Kairi gasped, then interrupted.
"Who is 'we'?" she asked.
"Shh!" Sora said, then continued. "The keyblade master must face us tomorrow, or..." Sora stopped. For some reason, he seemed unable to continue. He dropped the paper, letting it flutter down to the ground. Kairi took his arm.
"Sora?" he looked pale, in shock. She picked up the paper to continue reading.
"The girl is next, and who knows, what could happen then?" she looked up at the King. "You mean..."
"You," he sighed. "It hasn't been signed properly either." He pointed at the last line, reading it aloud so that Sora could hear. "The New Generation." Kairi took deep gulps of air, breathing slowly. "Whoever they are," the King continued, "they're powerful. I think they caused the storm back on the Destiny Islands. I don't know if you noticed, but Donald and Goofy were following you around today. I sent them to make sure you were alright. We'd planned to keep you on the Islands, away from danger, but after the storm, that all changed. We thought The New Generation, whoever they are, knew where you were. The risk was too great to just leave you alone there." Kairi tried to take it all in, listening to all of the information the King was giving her.
Sora had his head in his hands, rubbing his fingers through his wet hair. He refused to believe his ears.
"No," he cried out, shaking violently.
The King ascended from his seat. He could tell that Sora was having trouble coming to terms with the situation. King Mickey knew that Sora was mature, but this was too much for his young heart to bear. He gestured towards the door.
"Kairi," he suggested, "maybe you can take Sora into the other room?" Sora needed to calm down a lot. Kairi took his hand and led him into the other room.
"Kairi?" the King called before she could close the door. "You need to talk to him. You're much closer to him than I am, if he hears that you're fine with this situation, he should come back to his usual state of mind. Give him some time."
She nodded, then closed the door.
sorry about the very short chappy, i extended one chappy a while back and it had a chain reaction effect on the rest.
cc is appreciated
Great chappie! I can see some originality showing!
I'm back, honey! Referring to snowdog, of course!
Anyways, I was on camp, so I missed a few chappies.
BUT I'M BACK NOW!
Anyways, I was on camp, so I missed a few chappies.
BUT I'M BACK NOW!
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