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Only a day until Winter Formal. December 22nd was the day of Winter Formal and I had to wait thirteen hours and fifty minutes for Conner to drag me into his car to take me to the last event I’d go to with the entire school.
My white dress that Conner chose two months ago was sitting in my closet, completely clean with the plastic wrapping over it. I wasn’t completely thrilled with Winter Formal coming up. Even if I was a dancer, I never really enjoyed free style. Only because I had no free style skills at all, so there was no way I’d dance when everyone else has been to more dances than me.
I was finishing off my essay about what I believed in; like mythical creatures or anything else that doesn’t seem real in modern times for history. It was an easy assignment, even for a ten year old. After spending nearly half a year in a senior class for someone as old as I am, the classes weren’t all that challenging. The only bad grade I have in my report card is at least a C+, something I wouldn’t cry about to my parents at all.
After writing down that I believed in vampires and werewolves, I was thinking of what my father was doing at that very moment. I haven’t seen him since I was ten, probably no change at all, finally discovering that he’s a vampire when I was told to be a half breed of the two enemies.
What has my father been doing? Filming another movie . . . taking a break from all the stardom. Probably fearing that I might have found out about my heritage. Maybe seeing him for a little while wouldn’t hurt. But what should I say? “Hey dad, what’s been going on with you? . . . Oh nothing really happened to me, just found out I’m half werewolf and vampire. Is there something you’re not telling me?” Yea right!
I sighed and turned myself around from my chair, only to see Conner blocking my view of my incredible black room. “Hey Conner, what’s up?” I asked playfully and grimly, trying to pretend that I was getting annoyed with him appearing out of nowhere.
He already knew I was teasing and smiled. “Nothing much, just me missing you, nothing new or special.”
I glared at him and he only smiled before chuckling and hugging me. “I really hate it when you do that.”
“Uh huh, sure. You already know that I’m kidding, so you don’t have to take them seriously,” he smiled, pressing his cheek on the top of my head.
“Yea . . . but—”
“Shh . . .,” placing his cold finger lightly on my lips. “Let’s just end the argument. So what are you planning to get out of the dance?” he smiled.
I groaned. “You are unbelievable! I already told you I’m not going.”
He gave me the puppy pout. I swear he did it so well that actual puppies would stare at him and feel utter shame and jealousy. “But I already bought the tickets two months ago. Be happy I bought them incredibly early. I would have bought them with the rest of the school when the announcement came up, but I’m not that human now am I?” he raised an eyebrow.
I glared at him, but my red cheeks gave me away from the pleasure. Just staring at him still sends butterflies in my stomach to flutter everywhere. How is it that I have more vampire blood in me and still look the same, while Conner still looked as handsome as the stars? I still feel embarrassed just walking next to him for my lack of beauty.
“Did you enjoy your shower a few nights ago? Must have been weird for you.”
“It was a little weird,” he answered with a smile, revealing his pure white teeth.
I smiled back at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and stared into his deep blue eyes. “You’re still perfect the way you are. Just like always,” I said while running my fingers through his midnight black hair. Still silky, soft, clean, and undamaged. No sign of gel as evidence. His black hair, too perfect for gel or hairspray, not even spit. His long, soft, and straight hair was too perfect to even belong to a human’s. After seeing Edward, they somehow seem alike. Only Conner was a tad less protective while Edward was over the top protective.
“Nah . . . if I was perfect, I would have given you flowers and chocolates. Speaking of which . . .,” he disappeared for a second then reappeared behind me, hiding his hands behind his back.
I gave him the stink eye and crossed my arms across my chest. “Constantine . . .”
“Nah ah, you’re not allowed to kill me just yet,” he smiled, his hands moving away from his back and showed me what he had in his hands.
He indeed had a box of vanilla cream chocolates with a bouquet of black roses. I smiled as I blushed a little. “So what do the black roses stand for?” I asked.
He handed me the flowers and placed the chocolates on the desk before hugging me around my waist. “The roses stand for what you’re like to me. Incredibly unique as an individual only. To me, you are my black rose. I don’t care what the meaning of black roses mean. To me you are a black rose in a good way. You stand out in a field of white roses. For years I’ve been in a field of white roses, all are the same and uninteresting to me because I’ve seen them for so long.
And then there was you. I found you in the middle of the entire field. It was your uniqueness that drew me to you. You’re different and think differently than other people. And because of the way you are, it’s the reason why I love you,” Conner said to me peacefully, nearly whispering in my ear.
My face has reached over the top red; I was nearly all blood red instead of bright rose red. After seeing how red my face was, he laughed. “Don’t laugh. After describing me like a rose, you’d blush too when you speak like that romantically,” I said sheepishly.
“Only I can’t. I’m not completely human so I can’t blush. At least I can’t become as pink or red as your cheeks. You’re fun to tease and charm,” he smiled, kissing me on the cheek.
I rolled my eyes. He seriously loves doing that to me. Dazzling me is like his job now, what else can he do for me? Besides making me pink in the face. “You know . . . even if you give me flowers and chocolates, I’m still not going,” I said grimly as he was still holding me by the waist.
He sighed and his head dropped. “Okay fine, I’ll take the flowers and chocolates back then,” he said as he took my bouquet and my chocolates as he walked away to the door.
“Wait noooo!” I playfully whined as I hugged him from behind. “At least let me have a piece of chocolate firrrrrst.”
He laughed, flashing his white teeth and then hugged me, burying my face into his chest. “I love you so much.”
I smiled back as I embraced him back. “I know you do, you remind me eeeeveryday,” I said sarcastically. He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “You missed.”
“Pardon?” he looked confusingly. I looked up at him and pointed at my lips. He laughed and kissed me on the lips passionately.
After Conner visiting me, I checked on my dress and was planning on hiding the dress, as an excuse to not go to the dance at all. He caught me a few times by spying on me in my mind, what’s the point in planning something when your boyfriend has servalince cameras implanted in your own mind and eyes? No privacy at all, like I’ve said over and over to myself.
As I was writing my extra credit paper about what I wanted to do for the future and how I was going to reach it. How was I going to reach my goal? I wanted to be a vampire, but Conner thought I was “perfect” the way I was already. Only a perfect boyfriend would say that to his “perfect girlfriend.” How was I perfect though? I was half of the enemy race and I seemed to be too nerd-like to be around someone like Conner. As much as I loved him, he was kind of giving me the image of being the girl Conner felt sorry for and thought of going out with just to make that nerd feel better. I felt like that. But it didn’t bother me until I looked at my dress for the second time.
It’s true. He’d wear a tuxedo and looking stunning, when I’d look like a shy punk wearing a dress awkwardly as I would stand next to Conner. Was this how Bella felt with Edward? Why couldn’t I be as dazzling as Conner and Edward? I have vampire blood flowing in me! Even if vampire’s blood were dead and frozen, mine was flowing because of the werewolf blood that was still warm and alive. I was unnaturally pretty to the human student body in my current school and my “crime city” school, but I didn’t expect to be pretty enough to have that kind of creature in me.
And not only that, until recently, I never drank blood unless it was my blood from my nose or from a cut I got after some kind of activity. I never expected to drink blood like a vicious beast and enjoy the edible taste. I once in a while thought of what human blood tasted like, but I kept beating myself to a bloody pulp to get the thought out of my mind.
I walked to my bed and crashed onto my face. School was going to b a drag. Since the dance was so close to touch, all the girls at the school would come up to me and ask me if I’d predict my time with Conner. Like I know anything. Alice would know, but there’d be no chance that she’d tell me how the event would go with me. But whatever, it was only Conner and me, no care in the world. I’ll just try to have fun and then hide in the bathroom to prevent Conner from coming in.
School was exactly how I imagined it last night, girls swarmed around me when Conner left me alone to go to the library and get himself the right books for history. “So what are you going to wear?” or “What car will he use to take you to the dance?” or “Your nails aren’t going to be black again, are they?”
All questions were driving me off the wall. Once someone got to the subject of what Conner and I would do after the dance, Conner appeared from behind the group, grabbed my wrist, and pulled me away from the swarming gossip-hungry fiends and into the hard rain. “Thank you soo much! I owe you,” I sighed in relief.
Conner chuckled as he pulled me around the corner and gently pushed me onto building four’s wall. We both smiled and lightly kissed one another. A kiss in the rain must be the best kiss in the world, like kissing under fireworks, or locking lips next to a fireplace. But who cares? His kisses were magnificent to feel. After kissing, our lips separated and looked into each other’s eyes. He brushed strands of wet hair out of my face and next to the side of my cheek and kissed my forehead.
“I love you and always will,” he whispered to me.
“Same here. I want to stay by your side for as long as time can take me.”
“And as long as you’re alive . . . I’ll protect you with my wings. Wait for me in the stars when you’re lonely and I’ll fly up to those stars to find you. You’re important to me now; you’re the keeper of my heart and soul.” He took my hand and our fingers intertwined. “You are my light that has now become the dawn and twilight. Both so beautiful, but sad to see so little of the light. But still beautiful,” he smiled.
Aaaahhhhh!! How can he make such a beautiful metaphor when I’m the one failing English now for the stupid poetry subject we were cramming in our brains! He can make a sentence sound poetic when I can make words that sounded like I memorized it when I found a poem in the trashcan. Stupid lack of beautiful creativity!
“There are times that I hate you,” I said grimly and shook my head at him.
Conner was silent and then chuckled. “Oh, because your poems sound like—”
“You don’t have to repeat what I was thinking!” I interrupted.
He laughed and hugged me closely. “Just a few more hours, love. You’ll enjoy it,” he whispered to me.
I rolled my eyes. “I will find a way to get out of it. I’ll carry the tickets for you.”
“No can do. I just read your thoughts and you were planning on burning the tickets,” he snickered.
I sighed in disbelief. “I am never going to find a way to get out of this situation, am I?”
“Nope,” he said cheerfully before kissing my head.
I look up at him, his eyes still as dark blue as the coming night. How can someone so fabulous and gorgeous even exist and be a part of my world. I don’t know how my life would be like if I never met Conner. Maybe it would be depressing since I’d still be getting over Derek, my ex-boyfriend. But there’s no way of telling how my life would have been like without Conner. He’s in front of me, glorious as God’s hand and pure hearted as the color of an untainted angel’s feather.
“Nothing . . . I was just reading,” he laughed.
I rolled my eyes and pushed him away. “You’re unbelievable!”
He chuckled and hugged me from behind. “Do you want to get out of the rain?”
“Nah . . . you’re colder than the rain, so I’m cool. And I’ve grown used to the cold ages ago.”
“I know . . . you better not pretend to have a fever when I pick you up. I’ll know,” he said seriously but playfully.
I groaned as I stomped away from him. He caught up with me within a second and took my hand lovingly. He kissed my head as he smiled his majestic smile. “How do you seriously do that?”
Conner was confused. He blinked and placed his cheek on my head. “Seriously do what?”
“Dazzle people,” I answered.
“Oh . . . I only dazzle you. I occasionally spoke to other girls and they would giggle sometimes. But I don’t do it on purpose,” he explained.
“So . . . dazzling me is an accident?”
Conner laughed. “No. Dazzling you isn’t an accident. I just love how you look whenever I do so,” he smiled before taking my hair and kissing it. He also placed his hand on my heart and felt how fast my heart was beating. His touch sent butterflies to fly maniacally in my stomach and the blood flowed through my veins and to my cheeks. Damn it Constantine! “See . . . it’s already affecting you as it is,” he said under his breath.
“That’s only because . . . because I have a test I’m worried about,” I lied.
He snickered under his breath and kissed my burning cheek. “Liar,” he said cheerfully.
I sighed in disbelief. “Let go, I’m in no mood to feel cold arms around my waist,” I said.
I felt his head slouch down while giving me a dark look. “Uh huh . . . last time I heard, you liked the cold. So you must like my touch,” he said as he pulled me closer from around my waist to his pelvis. Even if he was wearing pants, just felling his crotch was making me nervous as it is. Dammit Conner! “Either that or you’re trying to say that you’d rather feel humanly warm arms,” he said seriously.
“No!” I yelled as I hugged him back. “I’d rather feel your arms around me . . . no one else,” I said under my breath as I closed my eyes. I already told him about my stupid ex-boyfriend, he already knew I was in pain when I came to Forks. He knew the reason why I was anti-social with only the guys and why I was treating him coldly when I came here. But thank God for my coldness, if I wasn’t, then Constantine wouldn’t love me.
He also told me why I attracted him to me. He explained how I treated him differently compared to the other girls, he loved how my personality was different compared to theirs, how my likings were so guy-like instead of interesting in shoes and girly crap. I see why thought, but never the thought of why me. Me . . . the weird girl that happens to be younger than him by two years . . . to the humans that is. I’m a hundreds of years younger than him, but for now I’m only two years younger that happens to be smart enough to be in a senior class.
“I won’t let anyone hurt you,” he whispered to me. His breath as cool as the wind, his scent would force my heart to leap like a kangaroo jumping away from its predator. He took my face with his right hand, his index finger and thumb on each side of me, gently but also hard.
To a human, she would have been crushed by his hand holding her face, but for me, I’d still live. With vampire blood and werewolf blood flowing inside me, I can live through the worst things. He lowered his head towards me, his lips with its perfect curve or a smile before he kissed me deeply. My eyes were closed, mainly because his kisses would send me into a dream, the other reason that was non important was because of the rain dripping down my face and eyes like bullets.
School went by slowly as usual. Things are getting way out of hand with the vampire speed. Poor Conner, handling this for three hundred years? How does he do it? Spanish was just as confusing in a way, English was getting a little better after Conner gave me some pointers of how to make a poem sound beautiful before class started, and History was still on my nerves until we got to the part when vampire legends were born.
For people who think of me as weird, they just stared at me in disbelief that I was interested in legends of vampires. They find me odd and even ask me questions if I believed in vampires and asked where they lived. I’d tell them anywhere dark and explain that there were such things as emotion suckers instead of blood suckers.
After school ended, I ran to the parking lot, only because I thought of a plan to get out of the dance. I ran to my car, only to find it missing. I looked around left and right and smelled Conner’s cold scent where my car used to be. I rolled my hands into a fist and bit my lip in anger. Apparently he already knew about my plan during class. Dammit . . .
I turned around and found Conner leaning on a Chevy with MY keys spinning around his fingers. I crossed my arms around my chest as I glared at him and he only smiled his mischievous smile.
“You’re a son of a bitch once in a while,” I said to him.
His smile became wider. “So I’ve heard,” he chuckled, walking to me and wrapped his arm around my neck and walked me towards his green BMW. He opened the door for me and I stared at him sternly.
“Do you want to walk instead?” he asked.
“I’d rather walk,” I answered.
“And you know I won’t let you,” he said as he gestured me to walk inside.
I sighed in defeat and slid in the passenger seat before he slammed the door and appeared next to me half a second later. I looked out the window and other students are just walking to the parking lot, vampire speed again.
“No one will see us being a little normal,” he smiled, kissing my cheek later on and started the engine. I took in a deep breath as my cheek under his lips. I felt his lips curl into a smile as he kissed my cheek, to my jaw line, and back to my lips. He pressed his lips somewhat harder than usual with great passion, my cheeks glowed its red color, my lips burned hotter than usual. The stinging sensation in my mouth was filling up; my thoughts were racing in my head like racecars in a big race to win a trophy. Am I craving his blood? Was that why the venom in me was filling up my mouth like I was hungry for food?
We drove back to my place with conversations here and there. We got to the old “getting to know one another better before becoming lovers” questioners. He asked of my favorite color, my favorite band, why they were my favorite, my favorite musical of all times, and all that jazz. I asked him some questions that were way beyond the years of my lifetime. I asked about what he did when he was human. He answered that he was a poet. No wonder he makes things sound beautiful.
“I was working on a poem in my human years, but I died before I ever finished it,” he told me.
“Dammit. If it took you a while to work on it, it must have been good,” I said before I snapped my finger after he told me he died when he was close to completion.
“Well . . . I’m still working on it. You inspired me to work on it again. When I looked back at it, I wanted to redo it. The poem didn’t sound . . . fantasy-related. Like it didn’t sound magical in a fairytale kind of way,” Conner said.
“I . . . inspired you?” I asked in disbelief. I never realized I had that much affect on a human being . . . or a magical-monstrous being at all.
“Yea. I’m almost done with it. I’m still stuck on a sentence that I want to finish as a last touch of . . . something sweet but dark,” he explained.
“I can’t help you out on this. I’m the one failing English because I can’t write poetry for shit,” I said, shaking my head of disapproval.
“You’re doing fine. I checked out your grades and you’re getting a B- in English,” he said with a smirk.
“How did you know that?”
“Coe is somewhat a vampire believer, it’s not for certain, but its there.”
I smiled at him. “I love you so much Conner. Thank you for your help,” I said, before hugging him. I didn’t notice we stopped in front of the house and I just thought of something out of selfishness. “Can I come over to your house?”
He looked over to me and raised an eyebrow. “Pardon?”
“Can I come over to your place? Maybe I can try helping you with your poem.”
He thought for a moment, I waited patiently. I’ve never seen his house before and I just realized until now that he never invited me over to his place.
“I guess it’s time for you to take a peek. I’ve looked inside your place plenty of times, so I guess you can,” he smiled.
My heart leapt out of its spot. I was actually excited to go. When it came to Bella and the Cullen family, Bella felt at home. I actually miss going to the Cullen house, but thinking of going in Conner’s home was actually revoltingly pleasant.
He shrugged and turned the car in reverse. “What the hell? I guess it’s time for you to check out your fantasy vampire house,” he chuckled.
I laughed with him as we drove off like drunks. We somehow got to the subject about what drinks we’ve tasted. I told him the truth about trying a few different wines and maybe a beer. The beer I could live without and I’m more of a white wine kind of person. It depended on the white whine though. I can’t remember what it was, but I do remember it was sweet. But after thinking about drinks, I got a little sick, maybe since I’m drinking blood that human food and drinks don’t appetizes me anymore.
It was getting a little darker, twilight colors were showering over the blue sky. The trees seemed to become thicker. As we spoke about drinks, parties, and I couldn’t believe it, but we also spoke about Derek. It burned my tongue to speak about him, my heart kept sinking lower whenever my mind wandered into memory lane of the terrible things he never did for me. I didn’t want to talk about Derek anymore. As much as I love Conner from the bottom of my heart, replacing my love for Derek, there’s still a small fraction of me that still felt something for Derek, it even pained me to remember that feeling.
We got to the house as I was fighting the urge to break down and hold my chest from the lost broken heart. I looked up and was amazed to see that this was his house. It was snow white, seven windows on both the second and first floor, the doors were huge (big enough to fit maybe eight people at the same time), the grass was possibly and it was maybe knee high. I noticed as I got closer to the house with Conner that the house was made of marble. It looked more like a mansion from Greece than a house that belonged in Forks.
I walked inside the white wooden doors; the room was different from the inside than how the house looked outside. It looked elegant and modern. The room was huge and square, there were stairs in the other room to my left, there was a silver metal pole to the second floor that was in front of me. Which meant that they either jump to the second floor if they wished instead of using the stairs or they’d use it to go downstairs because it was more fun or faster. To my right was just a wall with a giant door that was closed. I’ll check it out later when I’ve adjusted to the house first, then I’ll explore that one room. The room to the stairs was the dinning room that was used for props only. There was a long rectangular table that seated twelve people.
Eight people of the Cullen family, including Bella and four to the Burns family, including me. Yay, at least I’m a part of the vampire world, mostly that is.
Anyways, the walls were covered with paintings of Paris, beaches from Ireland, anywhere that was cloudy, but beautiful. There were also photos, in black, white, and whitish cream colored, of London, roses, elegant houses with a beautiful background, other forests that looked incredibly green, and most were photos of Forks in the winter seasons. I was in complete awe of the Burns’ taste in art, I was jealous of how creative they were in choice of areas and chose those spots to make something incredibly glorious.
“Tori?” Conner called my name, his voice so much like velvet, like Edward’s.
I looked up to him after my awing moment has been broken. “Yea?”
“So what do you think?” he asked me, his cold, stone-like hand still holding onto my extremely warm, fever-like hand.
“So far I think it’s amazing,” I answered him, a slight laughter to it. The entire time I’ve known and loved him, I imagined a vampire’s house looking more like how Hollywood created it, boy was I wrong. It looked more like an artist’s house, the Cullen’s looking elegant like a rich man’s mansion, and now I feel like beating myself up for ever thinking of vampire’s houses looking creepy and dirty.
“I’m sorry it’s such a mess,” he apologized to me.
“This is ‘a mess’? It’s the cleanest mess I’ve ever seen!” I screamed.
He chuckled and hugged me. I then saw Jesse standing next to us, his arms folded across his chest with a wide smile. I hesitated and lightly pushed Conner away from me. I then dusted myself and perked up for no apparent reason. Now that I think of what I was doing, just for Jesse, I thought to myself of why I did that exactly. Jesse wasn’t Conner’s parents, or vampires pretending to be their parents like the Cullens are with Carlisle and Esme being the adopted parents.
In my mind, I was punching my face, scolding myself for trying to be a perfect girlfriend for Conner in front of one of his family members. Jesse is just a “half brother-in-law,” like Conner told me before a while ago while chuckling. He’s the exact same guy who gave me a lift towards his garage when I drove to Forks and then ran out of gas a few months ago.
“Hey Jesse. Great to see you again,” I hesitated for some reason.
Jesse’s laughter nearly echoed around the walls. “What’s with the sheepish act? You’re bolder than this. Is it because you’re somewhere new?” Jesse asked.
“Um . . . well, I guess,” I blushed.
Conner gave me a little nudge with a little smile. “Quit picking on her. She’s still amazed that she actually gets to see the house since I’ve been watching her sleep in the night,” Conner said.
“Ooooh, a pedophile isn’t he?” Jesse teased.
“I am not!” Conner defended himself.
“Technically, you are,” I said grimly. It is true, he’s only three hundred and something years old.
Conner rolled his eyes before bumping his hip at me. “Thanks for taking my side,” he mumbled.
My smile became wider before I bumped my hip back at him. “It’s my job to make you feel how I feel whenever I lose a little match,” I said with a little pride in my tone.
“Like that blinking contest? Dude, you owe me for making me lose,” Jesse pointed out to Conner.
“Oh right! I forgot about that. Kind of a bad memory, but yea, something like that. Only he didn’t feel guilt then, he was toying with me. Like you were forcing me to fall in love with you,” I said. A light bulb then flickered on. I slowly looked towards Conner and glared at him a death glare. “Conner . . .”
“Okay, okay . . . I was kind of trying to break the ice queen barrier that was leaking out of your spirit. But look what happened, you’ve become more social, and you’re nicer to me,” Conner said with a shrug.
I groaned. “Urgh! You’re unbelievable Constantine!” I screamed.
“It was for the better!” Conner yelled back. “And I said not to call me Constantine.”
“Whatever! That was a way to feeling me up to win me in a way! You thought I’d be an innocent little girl that knows nothing of you and that you’d get to me some by acting nice and then doing some daft thing!” I yelled. It was becoming a little clearer of why he acted like that then. But why did I feel angry? It was already too late for me.
“No, that’s not how it is!” Conner said as he grabbed my shoulders firmly, forcing me to stay at my spot and not running away. He wasn’t being gentle this time, I could feel his stiff bones holding me. He already knows that I’m not fragile anymore, I’m as strong as a vampire and a werewolf combined, I’ll survive. “When I saw you . . . I fell deeply in love with you. You looked like a deer in the headlights at first, but even then . . . there was something in your dead eyes that told me there was something different and attracting about you.
“You were depressed then. Your eyes were still red and puffy from your drive towards Forks. You looked like you were about to collapse right in front of me. I was thinking to myself ‘Why her? Why this fragile looking girl? Why did she have to go through such pain before she adjusted to this new place? And why here?’”
And for the first time ever, I actually saw through Conner’s eyes. I saw his point of view of how I looked to his eyes when he saw me that one dark night when he looked at me through his dark windows from the back of the truck. My eyes did look red and there were tears. Was I crying then and didn’t realize it. Maybe he was reading my mind then too before I found out his secret.
“You guys know I’m here right?” Jesse asked.
I looked towards Jesse, the vision of Conner’s memory broken. “Sorry.”
“We’ll go in my room then. See ya later Jesse. Tell Emma to give us some privacy,” Conner said as he took my hand and walked me towards the stairs. Jesse didn’t disappear, but I know he meant to become invisible. He was running up the stairs as he past us. Conner then picked me up and carried me up the stairs to the second floor. I paid no attention to my surroundings, I was in a complete daze as he was holding me like a newborn baby to his room. I remembered that he opened a door before gently placing me on something soft under me before he kissed me deeply.
He stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes. “So do you believe me instead of that nonsense you thought of downstairs?” he asked me.
I only nodded instead of trying to find my voice. “I’m sorry,” I suddenly said.
“It’s okay, I forgive you. You already know I love you and there’s nothing that can change that. You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” he slyly smiled.
“Why would I want to get rid of you?” I asked.
He shrugged with a look of indecision. “I dunno. Maybe you want a normal boyfriend like Derek?”
I shook my head viciously as I closed my eyes shut, trying to prevent loose tears to slide away. “Don’t!” I said before taking in deep breaths. “Don’t . . . I don’t want to remember him again. I don’t want him anymore. I don’t love him the way I love you. It hurts when I remember him,” I said. My voice was very hoarse, like a frog was caught in my throat. Oh god . . . I think I do still ‘love’ Derek, the L.A. Tori still loved him, that little 1% of that L.A. me was still alive while Forks Tori was trying to kill that small fraction.
He roughly kissed me again, reading his mind, and noticed that he was jealous that Derek kissed me before him and that Derek got to hold me first. “I’m sorry,” he apologized.
“Don’t remind me of him . . . I’m still healing from the pain.”
“I won’t,” he promised.
He held me close as he kissed my neck and lightly pushed me onto whatever I was laying on now. “Is this a bed?” I asked.
“Yea . . .”
“You don’t sleep though,” I reminded him.
“I know . . . I just thought that if you want to stay and sleep over here whenever you want, then you could sleep in my room,” he answered with great honesty.
I felt my cheeks getting warmer as I stared into is blue eyes. “Are you trying to seduce me?” I asked him with a gentle smile.
He shrugged and smiled. “I don’t know, are you seducible?” he teased.
I giggled and slightly shook my head. “Not really. At least I’m not sure if I am,” I answered.
“Shall we find out?” he asked slyly as his hand traveled down to my stomach and very slowly slid my shirt up.
My face turned completely red and my heart was throbbing against my chest. He stopped and began laughing before hugging me closer. “You did that on purpose!” I yelled at him.
He was trying to stop laughing, but couldn’t. “Yes I did. I wanted to see if you’d stop me or if you’d freeze during the process,” he told me.
I glared at him and crossed my arms across my chest. “You’re a jerk sometimes, do you know that?” I asked him furiously.
“Yea, you think about it every now and then when I’m playing around with you,” he smiled.
“And it’s true every time you do so,” I said.
“Aww, come on. Bring a smile on your pretty face. Can you forgive me?” he begged me.
As I stared at him, I thought of the few fights we’ve been in and how it would end. I couldn’t stay mad at him even if I wanted to. He’s too . . . beautiful in spirit to even forget. His face, his scent, his voice, his charm, and his words are drilled into my brain, there’s no way I could forget.
I rolled my eyes and looked away from him.
He moved his head closer to my face and kissed me on the lips as softly as ever. His kiss was so magnificent, every girl’s dream to feel whenever she sees her romance movie and imagines a kiss as glorious. He inserted his tongue in my mouth and I couldn’t help but tongue him back. How could this glorious man even exist for me?
He separated his lips from mine and we looked into each other’s eyes. “I have a poem for you,” he whispered to me.
“Oh right, you said something about it,” I answered him.
“Hope you’ll like it,” he hoped before he disappeared and went searching through his drawers. He reappeared in front of me and handed me a piece of paper that was folded a few times. I opened it and began reading.
Immortal Fantasy by Constantine Burns
The way I imagined love was completely different before I met you.
I always thought that I’d have to rescue you from the tallest tower.
And I imagined my princess to be as beautiful as we imagined in fairytales.
But after I met you . . .
I told myself that the fairytale I imagined when I was a boy
was completely incorrect.
You were much better than I could ever imagine.
Immortality stole my human life for a reason.
And I finally understand why I was meant to live forever.
I was meant to find you and cherish you with all my heart.
My fantasy was shattered after laying eyes on you
and a new fairytale in my mind was remade when I fell in love with you.
All those romanticidal words I’ve heard of for years can’t make up
for what you’ve done.
You’ve changed the better of me and I can’t help but be good to you.
Feeling your warmth and the compassion in your heart
makes me want to die a happy man.
I can’t live without you,
you’ve become my drug,
and I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.
Losing you would be like walking through death again, for the rest of eternity.
I read through it twice to make sure if what I was reading was correct. It was beautiful. Out of all the poems I’ve ever read in my life from Derek when we were a new couple, all those poems can’t make up for what Conner wrote in a single piece of paper in twenty-two lines. I looked over at him with tears in my eyes, I was touched.
He was crookedly smiling at me and held me gently. He held me in his arms for the loose tears to flow out of me and kiss his neck. “I love you,” he told me.
“I love you too, Conner,” I said back to him.
His hand slid up behind my head and he kissed me passionately on the lips and slightly leaned his entire body weight on me and forced me to lie onto the bed. He held me around my waist with his other arm while his hand was still in place behind my head, in my hair. My eyes were closed and I wrapped my arms around him, my hands were gently holding a bit of his shirt, feeling his backbone, how strong it felt. One of my hands traveled upwards and felt his incredibly soft black hair.
Do I even deserve someone so wonderful? Was I even good enough for him?
“Yes, you are,” he whispered. Dammit! Reading my mind again . . .
He looked into my eyes, his chest feeling the beating of my heart, Conner’s perfectly straight nose touching the side of mine, his perfect lips just hovering over mine, his clear dark blue eyes seemed to look for a secret in my chocolate eyes.
“You are good enough for me,” he said to me, answering my question that tortured me in my mind. Mentally destroying me.
“Do I deserve you though?” I asked.
He smiled and kissed my nose. “You’re silly. I think of how I don’t deserve you either, so that makes both of us,” he said.
We were silent for a moment. I loved him . . . he replied back to me that he loved me too and we kissed again. The door was most likely locked, I couldn’t remember at that time. All I remember is that his hands were going too far . . . and I just allowed him to. I was happy that it was him, happy I wasn’t fully human to be fragile, happy that we had the time to be alone. No regret, no guilt, but there was going to be a war because of me, because Conner fell in love with me. There will be blood because I was different than other humans, vampires, and werewolves together.