Fanfiction ► A touching story.

[L337 kybldmstr]

This isn't actually mine - it was e-mailed to me by a friend of a friend of mine. DO NOT say it didn't tug at your heartstrings, OR ELSE!

This was what was in the e-mail.

>>boy- hey hun
>>girl- hey
>>boy- i missed u at school 2day, y weren't u there?
>>girl- yeah, i had to go to the doctor.
>>boy- oh really? y?
>>girl- oh nothin, annual shots, thats all.
>>boy- oh
>>girl- so what did we do in math 2day?
>>boy- u didnt miss any thing that great.......just lots of notes
>>girl- ok good
>>boy- yeah
>>girl- hey i have a question......
>>boy- ok, ask away
>>girl-........how much do u love me?
>>boy- u kno i love u more than anything
>>girl- yeah.....
>>boy- y did u ask?
>>girl-................>silence<.........
>>boy- is something wrong?
>>girl- no nothing at all
>>boy- good.
>>girl- ..............how much do u care about me?
>>boy- i would give u the world in a heartbeat if i could.
>>girl- u would?
>>boy- yeah.........of course i would
>> >sounding worried< is there something wrong??
>>girl- no, everythings fine......
>>boy- are u sure?
>>girl- yeah.
>>boy- ok.......i hope so.
>>girl-..............would u die for me?
>>boy- i would take a bullet for u anyday, hun
>>girl- really?
>>boy- anyday. now seriously, is there something wrong???
>>girl- no im fine, ur fine, we're fine, everyones fine.
>>boy- ............ok
>>girl-......................well i have to go ill c u 2morrow at
>>school.
>>boy- alright, bye. I LOVE YOU.
>>girl- yeah, i love u 2, bye.
>>
>>THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL:
>>
>>boy- hey, have u seen my g/f 2day?
>>friend- no
>>boy- oh.
>>friend- she wasnt here yesterday either.
>>boy- i know, she was acting all wierd on the phone last nite.
>>friend- well dude u kno how gurls are sumtimes
>>boy- yeah........but not her.
>>friend- i dont know what else 2 say, man.
>>
>>boy- k well i gotta get 2 english, ill c ya after school.
>>friend- yeah i gotta get to science.
>>
>>THAT NIGHT:
>>
>>ring- -ring- -ring- -ring-
>>girl- hello?
>>boy- hey
>>girl- oh, hi.
>>boy- y weren't u at school 2day?
>>girl- uh.......i had another doctor appointment.
>>boy- are u sick?
>>girl- ..................um i have 2 go, my mom's callin on my other
>>line.
>>boy- ill wait.
>>girl- it may take a while, ill call u later.
>>boy-........alright, i love u hun.
>>very long pause girl- (with tear in her eye) look, i think we
>>should break up.
>>boy-wht???
>>girl- its the best thing for us right now.
>>boy- y????
>>girl- i love u. >click<
>>
>>THE GIRL DOESNT COME TO SCHOOL FOR 3 MORE WEEKS, AND DOESNT ANSWER
>>HER PHONE.
>>
>>boy- hey dude
>>friend- hey
>>boy- whts up
>>friend- nothin, hey have u talked 2 ur ex lately?
>>boy-
>>no
>>friend- so u didnt hear?
>>boy- hear wht?
>>friend- umi dont think i should be the one to tell u......
>>boy- dude, wtf tell me
>>friend- uh....call this number....433-555-3468
>>boy- ok............
>>
>>
>>BOY CALLS NUMBER AFTER SCHOOL
>>
>>
>>ring- -ring- -ring- voice- hello, suppam county hospital, this is
>>nurse beckam.
>>boy- uh.......i must have the wrong number, im looking for my
>>friend.
>>voice- what is her name, sir?
>>(boy gives info)
>>voice- yes, this is the right number, she is one of our patients
>>here.
>>boy- really? y? wht happened??? how is she???
>>voice- her room number is ..646, in building A, suite 3.
>>boy- WHT HAPPENED??!!!!
>>voice- plz come by sir and you can see her, goodbye
>>boy- WAIT! NO! *dial tone
>>
>>
>>BOY GOES TO HOSPITAL, AND TO ROOM ..646, BUILDING A, SUITE 3. GIRL
>>IS LYING IN THE HOSPITAL BED.
>>
>>boy-
>>omg are u ok??
>>girl- ..................
>>boy- sweetie!! talk to me!!
>>girl- i..........
>>boy- u wht?? U WHT???
>>girl- i have cancer and im on life support
>>boy-.....................>breaks into tears<......................
>>girl- they're taking me off 2night
>>boy- y??
>>girl- i wanted 2 tell u but i couldnt
>>boy- y didnt u tell me????
>>girl- i didnt want 2 hurt u.
>>boy- u could never hurt me
>>girl- i just wanted 2 c if u felt bout me as the same i felt bout
>>u.
>>boy- ?
>>girl- i love u more than anything, i would give u the world in a
>>heartbeat. i would die for you and take a bullet for you.
>>boy- ...........
>>girl- dont be sad, i love u n ill always be here with u
>>boy- then y'd u break up with me?
>>nurse- young man, visiting hours are over.
>>
>>
>>BOY LEAVES, GIRL IS TAKEN OFF LIFE SUPPORT, AND DIES.
>>
>>but wht the
>>boy didn't kno is that the girl only asked him thosequestions so
>>she could hear him say it one last time, and she only broke up with
>>him because she knew she only had 3 more weeks to live, and thought
>>it would cause him less pain and give him time to get over her
>>before she died.
>>
>>
>>NEXT DAY
>>
>>
>>the boy is found dead with a gun in his hand..with a note in the
>>other... THE NOTE SAID: I told her i would take a bullet for
>>her.... just like she said she would die for me... resend this
>>message with the title i love _____ and fill in the name of the
>>person u love or care about. if u dont, this will happen to you but
>>u will be in the boy's situation.........have a heart for the one
>>that has your heart send it to 25 people

 

[axels_love]

That was sad ;_;
im gonna repost this on my space.

 

[Anonymous]

... I was not moved.

I need stories with deep storylines and amazing writing to move me, and then I openely cry my eyes out.
But this was completely random, and it really had nothing behind it. Some great writer could make an epic novel out of that short page and a half, which is what I like reading....

Sorry, it is sad, but not really that moving.

 

[Zearth]

Oh great. Another Chainletter. Eh, I could always twist it around to make it ironically funny. Seriously though, chain letters are stupid.

 

[darkisaac]

This is a chain letter....


'nuff said...


*agress completely with last 2 posts*

 

[Zezima]

This story was utterly stupid. It lacked a storyline, there were only two characters, they didn't have names, and there is WAY too much dialogue.

 

[KHeart_beat_*]

It was really sad but, to much dialogue and it was a chaim letter.
I really are through with them.

 

[R o x a s]

this as sad...but none the least...CHAIN LETER
ill send it to my friend...just because i liked the story tho

 

[•True_Aishiteru•]

this was completely and utterly pointless. i have seen this same chain letter a million times and havent been moved by it even once because its not real.

 

[L337 kybldmstr]

You know what you are? A ****ING N00B. N00bs are members who:
1. Consider themselves superior to everyone else
2. Constantly spam, flame etc.

You fit that description. Don't reply, or I will report you. Go write a fanfic or something.

 

[darkisaac]

You know what you are? A ****ING N00B. N00bs are members who:
1. Consider themselves superior to everyone else
2. Constantly spam, flame etc.

You fit that description. Don't reply, or I will report you. Go write a fanfic or something.

Dude you know, those almost my exact words in this post (ring a bell?):

http://forums.khinsider.com/showpost.php?p=1343814&postcount=61

Which comes from this thread:

http://forums.khinsider.com/showthread.php?t=55378&page=5


As for being a n00b, no, nobody here flamed, you posted a unoriginal, pointless and overall bad story, and people just saw it for what it was.

This is a Fan Fic section, and what you've posted is a chain letter.
It contains no plot, no real characters, and certainly no depth.

When people come here they expect to see a well written story, that will catch their attention, and will be worthy or a reply.

If anything this should be in the Forum Insanity, or in the Discussion section.

Go ahead and report me if you wish, but my point is much more valid than yours, and you're the real n00b here, because you can't take simple criticism.

 

[Mr.]

You know what you are? A ****ING N00B. N00bs are members who:
1. Consider themselves superior to everyone else
2. Constantly spam, flame etc.

You fit that description. Don't reply, or I will report you. Go write a fanfic or something.

Sorry, that's a chain letter cleverly disguised. :0
Don't fall for those sorts of things.

 

[Katattack]

Chain letters are less than spam, kid.

Ask again later.

 

[Endgame]

Meh. I think that enough has already been said before my entering the thread. Perhaps he's suffered enough punishment?

Hmmm...No. Flaming time. *yanks out oversised flamethrower, multiple boxes of matches, a torch and pitchforks, some molotov cocktails, and an angry looking chibi axel*


First. Not only is the story not original, not realistic, not believable, and utterly pointless, it's copied almost directly from any number of books I could name. I won't go into depth on story logistics and that kinda stuff....because you didn't even write the damn thing, you just copied and pasted. You found the Copy and Paste command, do you feel special now?

You know what you are? A ****ING N00B. N00bs are members who:
1. Consider themselves superior to everyone else
2. Constantly spam, flame etc.

You fit that description. Don't reply, or I will report you. Go write a fanfic or something.

Well, let's see about this.

1-YOU, from the looks of things, consider yourself superior to everyone else.
2-You posted a Chain Mail. That's far worse then spam.

Thereby by your own definition, you are a n00b. Ouch, double-edged sword and all, dont'cha think?

Thirdly, I believe the consensus is that NO-ONE was moved by this story. That's not true, I found it a sad and moving tale...when I created a mentally modified version without all the crappiness and illeteracy. If delivered properly, this story could reduce someone to tears. Unfortunatly, L337 is not a poor delivery system...he's the middleman for the poor delivery system.

Ouch.

And last of all...L337. I just dont like you. Call me stupid, but anyone who places the word 'l337' in their username deserves instantaneous flaming.

 

[darkisaac]

I believe that was a burn.

Lemme check I'm not sure...

*checks dictionary for: burn*

Burn: To cause to undergo combustion.
To destroy with fire: burned the trash; burn a house down.
To consume (fuel or energy, for example): burned all the wood that winter.


Alas, I believe you have just been Burned



(Now you see the difference between my earlier posts and this one, this one is flaming)

 

[Nebula Zero]

To destroy with fire: burned the trash

Short, simple, and to the point. And we know whos the trash here. But, since L337 here can't possibly comprehend who is it, I might as well say it.

Actually, its your story and you. The story was bland, even my 5 year old brother can write better stories, and he's just about grasped his alphabet. Seriously, i come back to the Fan Fiction section to find its being filled up with this nonsense you call a story? A touching story? Yes L337, its moved me in some way. It's moved me to flame you.

And as for you L337, go pick up a dictionary, or a book that has more than 6-10 pages(since those type of books are the ones you read, it seems), and when you find that you learned something from your readings, come back and surprise me. A nice, well written story would be nice.

And when you go out to read, don't let your stupidity hit you on your way out.

 

[wisdom&valor]

..i hate fights....sad story but i dont like chains sorry

 

[snowdog]

come on, l337 said they hadnt wrote it. dont resort to flaming.
ive seen it before, its a chain. it's a sad storyline, it could be written into a moving short story, with more description.

 

[RTP49]

Meh.

I've read worse.

'1337'

Fixed.