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yes i know i must, i'm just very scared, i mean i've never really openly expressed feelings to a guy, like genuine feelings, or close to them i suppose. do you still think i should even though i know he has a boyfriend and he knows i know he has a boyfriend, i mean is that like generally considered. . . i dunno, inconsiderate? i'm scare he'll mistake my stammers--as i'm sure they will be--as me wanting him to break up with his boyfriend.
thank you love. i'm just so flummoxed. we just. . . just, i dunno i just notice little stuff that i feel are definitely the universes' signs that there's more to taylor than just a guy i have known and liked for a few months at my work place. i mean we were talking the other day and we're both reading lord of the rings right now, and we're both on return of the king. i mean, am i reading too much into it? really? cause what are the chances!?
THEN THEN bear with me, this is a story
well i stopped by applebees the other night to check my sched and stuff, and taylor works with me there right? well he didn't work that night but regardless i was there just hanging out talking to coworkers and the work phone rings, well the person who's supposed to answer the work phone was stressed and i love her so i was just like "can i answer that for you?" even though i shouldn't've cause i was off the clock and ya know, the mangers wouldn't like that. well i picked it up expecting it to be a to-go order, cause that's what they usually are. but sure enough. . . it's fucking taylor, i mean COME ON WHAT ARE THE CHANCES RUBEN!?
eh, i'm supposing i'll just let the chips fall where they may. that's all i can really do at this point. c'est la vie, life will go on whether i get with taylor or not. or at least this mindset seems the safest and is comforting to convince myself i believe, but maybe in the end i will believe it. whatever lol.
it just really sucks because my confidence irl has skyrocketed these past two months and i was itching to try it out on someone and then taylor walks in and it's working but he's gonna be leaving even though i really really like him.
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