Would this be good enough...

[Roaringflames]

Okay here is the main idea, I would love criticism and feed back on this to

Spoiler Show

Sin, is it our punishment or salvation

Earth, once proclaimed the world of the goddesses, frozen into pieces, unable to live above the surface for many. These people were always getting sick and devilish in sorts and would often stab or just fight someone over food. They reproduced in large numbers (200-300 maybe) and made the undergrounds over populated. The gods angry, turned them into Human Monsters and they were cursed to die the moment they walked out onto the terrain of outer earth.

That never happened, the goddess of Evil, Monlina set them free of their curse and ordered them to attack those living above. Those living above had weapons, blessed by the gods themselves. These were staves, swords, guns, daggers, etc. They lived peacefully in towns and other places that they were given or made.

These under ground monsters are destroying your home, now you can raise up or support them, what is your choice of action. Good or Evil.

Ok is this good enough for you all

 

[Lord of Chaos]

While the idea itself is fairly good, you really need to learn to present your idea more clearly. As in, your grammar is very erratic. For instance:

"Sin, is it our punishment or salvation"

Should more clearly read:

"Sin. Is it our punishment, or salvation?"

Granted, that bit is a little up to opinion, but think of this way: When you speak, or when you think, where do the pauses fall? Where do things break and group together? Does it sound in your mind "Sinisitourpunishmentorsalvation" or is it a question? Does it end with an elevation of tone?

Also, there are a couple of confusing parts about your story.

"Earth, once proclaimed the world of the goddesses, frozen into pieces, unable to live above the surface for many." -- What the hell does this mean? I mean, I understand it in context, once I read the entire thing, but by itself, it really doesn't make much sense. It should read more like:

"Earth, once proclaimed the 'World of the Goddesses,' has been frozen into pieces, unable for many to live above the surface."

Or something as such. And then later your story goes from something that you've finally got everyone on board for, then suddenly:

"And that never happened."

What the Hell? Is this a cocktease?

You actually have a good idea here, and you're learning, which is good. You've been given shit by a lot of members (for good reason) but you really have been improving, if a little at a time. Pace yourself, be patient, and learn to write as you speak, or at least closely (this might be different for some people). I don't really have time to join this, and I feel bad because you may not get many people, if any at all to join, but you're making progress.

Just watch, and emulate. Try to learn, and to create.

Something better this way will come.