Why shouldn't I send it?



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Xickin

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I'm very much on the fence about it, and right now my anger is overpowering any other sense of reason. I found out a few days ago that these people whom I've called "friends" for the past few months were meeting in secret behind my back and excluding me from their gatherings. When I asked "why?" one of them simply responded that "I make things awkward" and then I got a message from another one of them saying that they just didn't want to be around me anymore. I've talked to them through messaging for 2 months now and they've been leading me on; I feel like such an idiot. I'm trying to take the high road by using a bunch of different methods to release my anger without hurting anybody, including writing down my thoughts. But now that I've written it, why not send it? Show those bastards that I'm not some weak-willed loser that won't even fight back. Mind you, this won't do anything, but I can assure you it'll feel pretty damn good to send it and block those idiots later so I have the last word.
The only reason I'm making this thread is because I still have a conscience that's trying to find any reason not to. I've talked to family and other friends, and of course they want me to take the high road, but I'm fed-up with their reasons like, "it's better to keep your integrity" or "you're better than that" or "think of the repercussions" (what repercussions by the way? I'll never see them again, and there are no mentions of bodily harm or blackmail). They're not me, and they don't feel the anger I do right now. I've been angry for days on end (5 at this point), and I feel the only way to get rid of it is to finally let it loose and let those jerks know how I feel, only to be cut short so that they can't respond. If I can find one actual not BS reason to not send this letter, then post it below.
 

Audo

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Don't send it. Block them and move on.

You worry about appearing as a "weak-willed loser" if you don't "fight back" but the reality is that it will make you seem that way if you do lash out. Someone with a strong will would not fight back, they would move on. We all deserve to have people in our life that want us in theirs, too. They have done you a favour by revealing how they feel, for now you can move on and not spend any more time on them. Channel that energy into your passions and your hobbies, into finding people who do want to share their life with you. That is the more constructive path to take, the one that will actually lead to a better you. Perhaps also consider seeking out a counselor to help you deal with your anger if you haven't already.

That's my position anyway, based on what you have said which is admittedly free of a lot of details.
 

Xickin

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Yeah, it's not WHY they did it, it's more HOW. Each of them bore their souls to me, so I did too, after only knowing them for like 2 weeks, and so they decided I was too "awkward" for them. Let me tell you something, if I listed what they told or showed me, you'd be just as confused as I was. I've held back my anger for so long, this is the last straw. I asked them to their diddlying faces if we were cool a month ago and they said "yes" but now a month later, without ever seeing them, one of them replied to my invitation to meet up with "We've met up...just not with you" that tore it. I took care of one of their drunken asses the entire night because I thought it was the right thing to do (after she screwed another guy), but instead she did this. I showed her NOTHING BUT KINDNESS but she thinks it's okay to just toss me aside. Nuh-uh, nope. I am so sick of being everybody's door mat.
 

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I took care of one of their drunken asses the entire night because I thought it was the right thing to do (after she screwed another guy), but instead she did this. I showed her NOTHING BUT KINDNESS but she thinks it's okay to just toss me aside.
I mean, does her having sex with someone else make her less deserving of your help or entitled to your friendship? Because you're right, watching out for her is the decent thing to do.
 

Xickin

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I mean, does her having sex with someone else make her less deserving of your help or entitled to your friendship?
No, but it's the fact that she did it RIGHT IN FRONT OF US AFTER GETTING WASTED, then me volunteering to get her away from that asshole, clothe her drunken ass, help her up and down to the bathroom (twice), watch her cry and tell me her sob story, sleep on the hard fucking floor next to her to make sure she didn't choke on her own puke, and comfort her in the morning, and the thanks I get is "No"?
 

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Yeah, it's not WHY they did it, it's more HOW. Each of them bore their souls to me, so I did too, after only knowing them for like 2 weeks
Honestly, it's typically not a good sign when people are this emotionally revealing so early on in knowing a person, before trust and relationships have really formed naturally.

I've held back my anger for so long, this is the last straw. I asked them to their diddlying faces if we were cool a month ago and they said "yes" but now a month later, without ever seeing them, one of them replied to my invitation to meet up with "We've met up...just not with you" that tore it.
And maybe it was true at the time, but again, all this is really showing is that they probably aren't people you'd really want in your life anyway. Like, my advice is still the same, the healthiest thing for you to do is to accept that, for whatever reason, they no longer want to interact with you, and that you don't really want to be around them either. And work to move on.

I took care of one of their drunken asses the entire night because I thought it was the right thing to do
Yeah, it was still the right thing to do.

(after she screwed another guy)
Not sure how this is really relevant. If she was your friend, obviously the decent thing to do would be to take care of her and make sure she is okay, regardless of who she is sleeping with.
 

Xickin

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Okay, the reason the guy she screwed was relevant, is because she didn't even know him, he just came over and was a complete asshole that took advantage of her, and I managed to pull her away from him defending her from him the next morning.

And no, obviously they aren't people I'd want in my life, but then again, I was led on by them for two months when all I needed in the first place was a no. But nope.
 

Audo

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No, but it's the fact that she did it RIGHT IN FRONT OF US AFTER GETTING WASTED, then me volunteering to get her away from that asshole, clothe her drunken ass, help her up and down to the bathroom (twice), watch her cry and tell me her sob story, sleep on the hard diddlying floor next to her to make sure she didn't choke on her own puke, and comfort her in the morning, and the thanks I get is "No"?
No to what? Getting together with you? Women aren't vending machines you put Kindness Coins into until sex pops out. You did the decent thing by helping her out, and in a healthy friendship, she would in turn do what she can to help you and take care of you. But you're not entitled to anything because you were nice to her?

And no, obviously they aren't people I'd want in my life, but then again, I was led on by them for two months when all I needed in the first place was a no. But nope.
How are you so sure that you were led on? Maybe they honestly did consider you a friend, tried to make it work, but things changed.
 
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Xickin

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No to what? Getting together with you? Women aren't vending machines you put Kindness coins into until sex pops out. You did the decent thing by helping her out, and in a healthy friendship, she would in turn do what she can to help you and take care of you. But you're not entitled to anything because you were nice to her?
What the hell are you talking about? How dare you imply that I wanted sex from her, I'm a decent guy and a kind person; what I wanted were FRIENDS. I didn't mean she said "no" to some sort advance I made (which I never did because I respect women). She was in a relationship and that never came across to me as a problem. I asked THEM if they wanted to hang out after two months, she told me "They did...but not with me" and I asked "why?" and she said "because I was too awkward" and when I begged to know what she ws talking about, all she said was "you know why" and when one of them said to me that they weren't comfortable around me, she LIKED his message.

When you do things that are above and beyond for somebody you think of as your friend in their hour of need, it's not just because you feel your obligated to, it's because you want to help a friend.

Also, I did form a higher relationship with one of the other girls (she came on to me), and when I asked if everything was cool after a month of not seeing them, she said "yes".
 

Audo

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What the hell are you talking about? I didn't mean she said "no" to some sort advance I made
Sorry, it was really hard to tell what you were talking about, and you were honestly coming off like you were Nice Guy-ing this.

Regardless though, you have the answer now. You know how they feel. Would it be better if they had turned down your friendship at the offset? Maybe. I mean, I'm assuming there was some good stuff you got out of knowing them, that you otherwise wouldn't have gotten if the friendships never happen. But, now you know, and, again, the healthy thing to do is to try and move on.
 

Xickin

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But, now you know, and, again, the healthy thing to do is to try and move on.
That's the thing, this one cut too deep, I can't go an hour without thinking about this and being fuelled with unrelenting anger. I've held back all my life, and when I finally bore my soul to a group of people because they made me believe it was a safe room, I felt totally betrayed. Believe me, sending a note is better than what I really want to do.
 

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That's the thing, this one cut too deep, I can't go an hour without thinking about this and being fuelled with unrelenting anger. I've held back all my life, and when I finally bore my soul to a group of people because they made me believe it was a safe room, I felt totally betrayed. Believe me, sending a note is better than what I really want to do.
Sending a note isn't going to change anything. It honestly sounds like you should seek out a counselor about this kind of stuff.
 

Xickin

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No, I know, and that's why I mentioned that in a previous statement. But I can't let that stupid little fucking "Like" button be how I ended this.
 

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Honestly, if people don't like you for who you are then you're better off knowing now and not wasting your time on them.

I'm sorry they were assholes about it, but the best thing is to drop them without another word spent on them. I know you're wondering why do that when they've hurt you and you don't care what they think any longer, but that's the best choice for a couple of reasons.

The first being that they'll feel entirely justified acting this way towards you if you lash out, you'll paint yourself as the bad guy. The second being that, they might just respond with even more hurtful things to make you feel like shit. It won't be worth the energy and emotion.
 

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But I can't let that stupid little diddlying "Like" button be how I ended this.
Yes, you can. The only person's actions who you should be concerned with at this point are your own. Forget what they think of you, or how you "look" to them. Focus on what is honestly, and truly, the best choice for you to make for yourself that will lead you down a healthier outcome.
 

Xickin

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The first being that they'll feel entirely justified acting this way towards you if you lash out, you'll paint yourself as the bad guy. The second being that, they might just respond with even more hurtful things to make you feel like shit. It won't be worth the energy and emotion.
1. Why should I care? The bridges have been burned
2. I've already said I'd block them immediately after so they wouldn't even get the chance.

Forget what they think of you, or how you "look" to them. Focus on what is honestly, and truly, the best choice for you to make for yourself that will lead you down a healthier outcome.
I don't care what they think of me. The point of this is me sending them a letter that will hurt them just as bad as they've hurt me. Or not, who cares? I'll finally be able to delete this letter I have saved to my desktop.
 

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I don't think it will actually hurt them. Like I said, they'll just feel justified to have stopped hanging out with you.
 

Xickin

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But like I said before, "Who cares?" If it doesn't hurt them, fine, they're just awful people with terrible personalities. And I really don't care if they feel justified, it's not like they're debating on whether or not to want me back.
 

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Well... it sounded like you cared and wanted them to feel bad. If they won't care and they'll just think worse of you, what's the point? It won't actually make you feel better about what happened.
 

Xickin

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I cared because I thought they were my friends and they totally blind sided me. This isn't the first time this has happened, but now I have ammunition, and I swore to myself that when this first happened I wouldn't take this by just walking away again. And the point is to give me closure; I know this will just add more baggage to me if I just try and forget it. I'm sick of having to abandon good memories because someone's betrayed me once again. At least with this, I'll know I had the last word.
 
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