E
Eclipse
Guest
This is the first chapter in my light-hearted comedy spoof of a horror scene....let's go on, shall we?
Friday evening holds a cold night for Roxas. The stars twinkle, and he settles to the snapping sound of pop corn on the kettle. Getting ready to watch a movie, he soon reaches for the remote and plops on the couch. A news headline flashes across the screen...and he reads the bulletin that slides across the t.v.
"A series of murders has appeared all over Twilight Town. One case had a poor pre-teen hung on a tree buy her training bra. The only clue of her murder were the words 'Stuffing is for whores' on the inside of the cotton laced bra cup. More details as this comes in."
"Hah...whatever. Oh god..."....groaned Roxas, looking at his crotch...
He lazily pulls himself off the couch, and slouches towards the bathroom in his bunny slippers. Upon entering, he slams the door, unzips his pants, and does his business.
Meanwhile the phone starts ringing....
The dreary blonde soon hears the phone and panics while pulling up his zipper. He let out a loud screech, and fell on the floor in the fetal position. The zipper got caught halfway...and he yelped and tried to make it to the phone.
Meanwhile...he realizes that he finished too early as he zipped up in mid-stream, and left a track of urine on the floor. Tired, in pain, and leaving a trail of smelly piss on the floor, he somehow makes it to the phone.
Roxas picks up the phone -- "Hello?"
"You better call her"
"Call who?"
"Call her Roxas....before it's too late"
The anonymous caller hangs up
"Hello? Hello? Who is this?"
"Damn.....stupid girl scouts...always calling me.."
Roxas set the phone on the table...and finally took time to fix his prior zipper problem. After much trial and tribulation, he fixes his pants, and heads back to the couch. Nights like these don't surprise Roxas. Especially since he started working at the Speedo Modeling Agency. Everyday was a new problem, as he remembers back to the last time he got in trouble....
Charging through the double-doors confidently, Roxas walked down the hall of the agency, and met his manager. He had a meeting with his manager, who wanted to advance Roxas in the skimpy swimsuit industry. His manager, Lexus, was a peculiar man. A very short man, at that, who always wore a pin-striped suit, a flashy hat, and sported a large cigar in his lively grin that exposed false teeth. He smiled at Roxas, and proceeded to sit in his rather small chair. As soon as he sat, his smile disappeared, and a concerned look invaded his face.
"Roxas, this is the last time I will allow this to happen. This is the 3rd runway show you have ruined."
"I'm sorry Mr. Lexus, but you know I hate how they make me wear it..."
"Roxas, if you want to keep this job, you have to do as they say"
"But Mr. Lexus, I don't want to wear the thongs backwards"
"Roxas, don't think of it as something bad, think of it as reaching the souls of homeless gay men everywhere!"
"I'm a Speedo model, not Queer Entertainment Monthly...."
"Errr, your last cover shoot was for QEM."
"Well whatever..."
"Roxas, I'm afraid they also told me you need to drop 10 pounds by the next fashion show, or they could replace you with Larry Melstrom"
"Eww..you mean the emo kid in rehab?"
"Yes Roxas, I'm afraid if you don't comply to this, we don't have a contract...and that would mean...you would lose your---"
"Yes..I know. Look, if I promise to wear your skimpy man-thongs, do you promise never to break the contract?"
"Agreed."
.....Yes....that was surely a day of reckoning. As Roxas slowly returned back to reality, the clock on the VCR blinked "12:00 A.M.". The power must have gone out...the lights were turned off, and the t.v. was off as well. Roxas soon realized he was alone on the couch
"It sure is dark in here..." said Roxas.
He noticed the smell of smoke, and a puff of fumes ran up his nose. Turning quickly, Roxas noticed he left the popcorn in the kettle.
Fleeing to the kitchen, and slipping on a puddle of urine, Roxas scrambled up to the stove and wafted the fumes to keep the fire alarm from going off. He saved the popcorn from the inferno, and suffocated the flames with a towel. The fire soon died out, and Roxas wiped a sweat drop from his cheek. The electricity was still out, and it was very dark....
Out of the tranquility was a ringing sound, recognized to be the phone. How could this be? The power was out.....Roxas crept his skinny legs to the phone, and stared at the caller ID, which said nothing but
"Sex Tickles Death"
~~To be Continued~~
Comments, por favor? =3
Friday evening holds a cold night for Roxas. The stars twinkle, and he settles to the snapping sound of pop corn on the kettle. Getting ready to watch a movie, he soon reaches for the remote and plops on the couch. A news headline flashes across the screen...and he reads the bulletin that slides across the t.v.
"A series of murders has appeared all over Twilight Town. One case had a poor pre-teen hung on a tree buy her training bra. The only clue of her murder were the words 'Stuffing is for whores' on the inside of the cotton laced bra cup. More details as this comes in."
"Hah...whatever. Oh god..."....groaned Roxas, looking at his crotch...
He lazily pulls himself off the couch, and slouches towards the bathroom in his bunny slippers. Upon entering, he slams the door, unzips his pants, and does his business.
Meanwhile the phone starts ringing....
The dreary blonde soon hears the phone and panics while pulling up his zipper. He let out a loud screech, and fell on the floor in the fetal position. The zipper got caught halfway...and he yelped and tried to make it to the phone.
Meanwhile...he realizes that he finished too early as he zipped up in mid-stream, and left a track of urine on the floor. Tired, in pain, and leaving a trail of smelly piss on the floor, he somehow makes it to the phone.
Roxas picks up the phone -- "Hello?"
"You better call her"
"Call who?"
"Call her Roxas....before it's too late"
The anonymous caller hangs up
"Hello? Hello? Who is this?"
"Damn.....stupid girl scouts...always calling me.."
Roxas set the phone on the table...and finally took time to fix his prior zipper problem. After much trial and tribulation, he fixes his pants, and heads back to the couch. Nights like these don't surprise Roxas. Especially since he started working at the Speedo Modeling Agency. Everyday was a new problem, as he remembers back to the last time he got in trouble....
Charging through the double-doors confidently, Roxas walked down the hall of the agency, and met his manager. He had a meeting with his manager, who wanted to advance Roxas in the skimpy swimsuit industry. His manager, Lexus, was a peculiar man. A very short man, at that, who always wore a pin-striped suit, a flashy hat, and sported a large cigar in his lively grin that exposed false teeth. He smiled at Roxas, and proceeded to sit in his rather small chair. As soon as he sat, his smile disappeared, and a concerned look invaded his face.
"Roxas, this is the last time I will allow this to happen. This is the 3rd runway show you have ruined."
"I'm sorry Mr. Lexus, but you know I hate how they make me wear it..."
"Roxas, if you want to keep this job, you have to do as they say"
"But Mr. Lexus, I don't want to wear the thongs backwards"
"Roxas, don't think of it as something bad, think of it as reaching the souls of homeless gay men everywhere!"
"I'm a Speedo model, not Queer Entertainment Monthly...."
"Errr, your last cover shoot was for QEM."
"Well whatever..."
"Roxas, I'm afraid they also told me you need to drop 10 pounds by the next fashion show, or they could replace you with Larry Melstrom"
"Eww..you mean the emo kid in rehab?"
"Yes Roxas, I'm afraid if you don't comply to this, we don't have a contract...and that would mean...you would lose your---"
"Yes..I know. Look, if I promise to wear your skimpy man-thongs, do you promise never to break the contract?"
"Agreed."
.....Yes....that was surely a day of reckoning. As Roxas slowly returned back to reality, the clock on the VCR blinked "12:00 A.M.". The power must have gone out...the lights were turned off, and the t.v. was off as well. Roxas soon realized he was alone on the couch
"It sure is dark in here..." said Roxas.
He noticed the smell of smoke, and a puff of fumes ran up his nose. Turning quickly, Roxas noticed he left the popcorn in the kettle.
Fleeing to the kitchen, and slipping on a puddle of urine, Roxas scrambled up to the stove and wafted the fumes to keep the fire alarm from going off. He saved the popcorn from the inferno, and suffocated the flames with a towel. The fire soon died out, and Roxas wiped a sweat drop from his cheek. The electricity was still out, and it was very dark....
Out of the tranquility was a ringing sound, recognized to be the phone. How could this be? The power was out.....Roxas crept his skinny legs to the phone, and stared at the caller ID, which said nothing but
"Sex Tickles Death"
~~To be Continued~~
Comments, por favor? =3
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