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Fanfiction ► The World Ends With You: Shibuya Chronicles



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Mike

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Well. I have recently picked up, and am half way through, The World Ends With You. I fell in love with this game as soon as I started playing it. And since Summer Vacation is coming for me in 2 weeks, I thought id kick it off with a Fanfic for my newest favorite game. I gonna put my own touch to this story, so trust me, expect it to be changing alot with Plot Twisters. Alot more than in the game!


Prolouge: Entering the UG


School. Finally. It's almost over. Only two more weeks!

"Yeah. Ill see ya Monday, Zack." a voice called, waving goodbye as he rounded the corner. Zakuku, or Zack, as he likes to be called, waved back, and then walked down past 104. The place was packed, as always. The sweet aroma of a Flower Shop drew Zack in as he walked. He had to give her something special. If only he could just tell her. Zack sighed. There was a wierd sense of Darkness surronding Zack.

"Hello. Welcome to Shibuya's Flower Paradise! May I help you with anything, sir?" the Store Clerk said behind a counter, in a cheerful voice. What was she so happy about? She seemed as if she would burst.

"Uh...yeah. Can I get one red rose, please?" Zack asked, pulling out 1,000 Yen.

"1,000 Yen, please." the Clerk said, pulling out 1 Red Rose, from the counter, handing it to Zack, as he handed her the Yen.

Zack held the rose tightly, gripping it as if it was as delicate as life itself. He nodded in thanks, and walked off toward the Scramble Crossing. As he made his way through the Scramble, he looked up towards the Q-Floor. A commercal was going on for a Pin. Pins? Who the hell buys Pins anyway? It was a waste of Yen, and only children who play that kid game-Tin Pin Slammer-bought them. Zakuku was 15. He was never going to use or even buy Pins.

Zack sighed, still holding the rose in his right palm. He headed off past Q-Floor to a building across the street from it. Zack's apartment building. "Home sweet home. Ha. I wish it was a home. I hate it here in Shibuya. There's too many people. I mean it is funny being the Trendiest place, but still, this place is too crowded." Zack said, as he walked through the front glass door, heading for the Elevator. His mom wouldent be home for awhile. She was busy on the other side of Tokyo.

Zack hit the button, and stepped in once the door opened up. No one stepped out. Zack stepped in and hit the 7th Floor button. It took about 2 minuites with People getting in and getting off, but he finally made it to his floor.

He walked around the corner after getting off the elevator, and arrived at his apartment. Oddly, the door was open. Wierd. Was his mother home early? Zack stepped in, only to find the place a mess. The small kitchen's pots and pans were scattered. In the Living Room, the small Sofa was tipped over, and the TV lay smashed on the ground. Magazines and papers were all around the Apartment.

Zack gasped. What the hell happened? Zack walked across the room, avoiding any debris and smashed Glass, and made his way to the balcony. No one was here, or so it seemed. He looked down below at the streets. Everything was normal, or as normal as Shibuya usually is.

Zack behind him heard footsteps. He turned around, only to see a man in a Brown Trenchcoat and hat, and a gun in his hand. Instead of using the gun, the man swung his free hand, and hit Zack in the gut. The impact stunned him, making him back up. Zack back, and tripped over balconys edge. Zack's eyes widened. He plummeted down to the ground. His vision blurred. A 7 storie fall. He lost all sighting. The only thing he saw was the disguised man looking down at him, and he backed away.

Dead.


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Well. It is short, but it is only a Prologue. I am new at writing Fan-fics, so it probaly wont have the best Grammer. I hope you like it so far. This it only one of the main characters. I promise that in Chapter 1, that it will be a good length. And about the way Zakuku, or Zack, died, I always thought that this would be a terrible way to die. Coming home from school, finding your house a wreak, and then being kicked from a building and dieing from a several storie fall.
 

Mason Stark

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First off, let me fangirl/freak out, due to the fact that this is a TWEWY fanfic. ASDHFOSAIH ZOMG 8DDD

Okies, got that out of my system! Anywho~ For a prologue, it's quite interesting. I like it a lot! I can't think of any sort of criticism, though, but I definitely would like to see you keep on going with it. It has potential and I would definitely like to read more. :D
 

-Arcana-X-

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I can see right through all your empty lies
Pretty good start.
You've started every paragraph with 'Zack'. That was kinda boring to be reading 'Zack' 'Zack'. But I love how you shortened the real name to Zack. Pretty cool.
Also, wierd is spelled weird. Storie is spelled story. Wouldent is spelled woudn't. Just fix simple spelling mistakes like these.

And ouch. That is a horrible way to die. That's not peaceful.
You can do a LOT better the next chapter. That's my challenge to you.
 

Mike

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It wasnt supposed to be a peaceful way to die. I didnt want it to be peaceful. Anyway, thank you both. And heres Chapter 1, just so we can get into things.


Chapter 1: Waken Up, Shaken Up, Screw'd




A terrible buzzing filled the inside of poor Zakuku's mind. What had happened? Last he knew, he was on his apartment's balcony. He lay there, face up, planted on asphalt. His eyes slowly opened. He lifted himself up, looking at the surrondings. Then, his eyes widened. Zack jumped to his feet, and looked around. As he stood, something fell from his black, sleevless shirt. Zack looked down at hit, and saw it was only Pin. A black Skull pin. Why was that there?

His real question wasnt that. It was why he was in the middle of the Scramble Crossing, laying on the ground, and no one even looked at him or tried to help. Almost immeditly, he reached forward and tried to grab a young women whering a brown top, but his hand faded right through her.

He pulled his hand back and clentched it. "What the hell?" Zack said to himself, still gaining no attention. "SOMEBODY! ANSWER ME!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

Still, nobody even looked at him. Usually, in Shibuya, somebody would atleast yell back at him. It was like, he was invisible. And then, the start of the tragic nightmare that would last for days. A Text message. It was only one beep, but Zack pulled it out, hoping it was from his mom, or atleast one of his friends. But sadly, it wasnt. Zack looked at it anyway:

Reach 104. You have 25 minutes. Screw up, and face Erasure

~The Reapers


"Eh? Screw the spam. Delete!" Zack said to his phone, his frown turning worse. It wouldent delete. "What? Why wont it---Ah!" Zack said, putting his phone away, and quickly grasping his right hand, as it burned. In less than two seconds, the pain went away. Zack flipped his hand over to look at his palm. There was a timer? Counting down from 25?

"This has got to be a joke. Im dreaming. I know I am!" Zack said, noticing the similarite between the Text and the Timer being at 25. "But. How? It is, some kinda magic? A hex?" Zack questioned. "TELL ME WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" Zack screamed at his palm.

"Hey! Over here! Make a pact with me!" someone behind him said. A firmilar voice it was. Zack turned around, only to notice a girl, same age as him, with a light brown colored hair, reaching down to her stomach. She had a light orange top on, and a mini-skirt. The shirt was one of the newest Brands in Shibuya, and was one of the hottest revealing shirts around. Maegan from his class. But this couldent be right. She died from a Gunshot leaving detention from school Tuesday. Wait. If she was dead and apparently living still, could that mean....?

Zakuku looked surprised at seeing her. "Jordan? I thought you were--" Zack was interupted.

"I was dead. But after scouting around the UG I found out that here the Dead live for 7 days to regain their life! Isnt it sweet we can go back to life!?" Jordan said. "So. You were killed too, huh?"

"Dead? Im...dead?" Zack said, surprised. Then he remembered. He was kicked off of his balcony by the guy who broke into his apartment.

"Of course silly. The RG people cant see us, but Player's here in UG can, Zack." Jordan said, adjusting her hair out of her face. Then. They struck. "Zack. Watch out for the Nois-" Jordan was cut off, as she disappeared into thin air, after some wierd red symbols flew at her.

"Jordan!" Zack said, as the creatures closed in on him now. "Ah" Zack said, stumbling, and then rushing around the corner to Hachiko.

The creatures, or, the "Noise", were still on his tail. What did he do to them? Bright lights then flashed around Zakuku. "What the?"

Zack swirled and swirled, and finally the dizzyness stopped. "Your gonna need a Partner, kid? Now use this!" a man said, stepping from the side of him, facing the Noise. "Name's David." the man said, the golden pendent around his neck flapping back and forth, aswell as his hat. The man, "David" had thrown him a pin. Like the PIn he found earlier? Except this one was red and had a flame on it.

"Snap your fingers to attack with it." the man said, as he held a pin in his hand toward a car, which ulitmatly moved into the enemys and tore threw them easily. "Hurry, follow me, to 104!" he said, running ahead. As he ran ahead, Zack was getting chased, and so he followed David toward Scramble Crossing. Once they were in less than a few feet, the Noise backed down and stopped following them.

"Come on. While theres still time. We only got 2 minuites!" David said, running ahead, and then heading straight toward an invisible wall. "Heh." he said, pulling out a pin, holding it out, and then putting it away.

"This way." he said. Zack, who ran ahead, looked in question. "There was a wall? Wasnt there? It must be magic? But, he opened it? Im getting a bad feeling I got myself dead at the wrong place and time." Zack said, running ahead, eyeing a mysterious man in Red, and then walking ahead.

"Mission 1: Complete." David said, looking at his hand, the Timer going away.

"Hey. Where are we? Nobody can see us? Is it true we're dead? And what happened to my friend? She disappeared into thin air? Do you know anything? Answer me!" Zack screamed.


Day 1, Complete.

-------------------------------------------------------

The hidden figure in a brown trenchcloak stood above the two. "Heh. Phase 1 complete, but it only gets harder. Im sure David shall do his job accordingly." the figure said, its sunglass gleaming from Sunlight.

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And there ends Chapter 1/ Day 1. Hope you enjoyed it. If there is anything that could ahve been changed like spelling mistakes, please tell me. Thanks

~Mike2014
 

Orion

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It's a story that is well written, but will most likely and unfortunately appeal and attract only TWEWY fans until it evolves into a good Fic in its own right. Keep up the good work. TWEWY FTW
 

Essence of Elegy

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Well, my only advice is to write your stories in Microsoft Word, if you have it. It's got an automatic spell check system in it.

As for the storyline, excellent. Your main character has some color to him, meaning he isn't some emotionless kid with no depth at all. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Yeah, you should continue.
 
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