- Joined
- Mar 7, 2005
- Messages
- 1,497
- Age
- 35
Sounds good to me.
Fanfiction ► The Human Heartless
- Thread starter Thelonepickle
- Start date
|
REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS |
|
- Status
well this fic is very interesting! lmao no seriously i like it.. tho im surprised as to why kaze isnt je- nvm k_k probably doesnt want me saying anything!
me:*slaps GG* NOT YET!! >_<
Sora, Kaze, Aozora, Ketso:
me:*looks at them, smiles* I'm not hiding anything!! ^_^
Sora, Kaze, Aozora, Ketso:
me:*looks at them, smiles* I'm not hiding anything!! ^_^
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2005
- Messages
- 1,497
- Age
- 35
Van: Sure you aren't XP
Sam: Meh, I have a pretty good idea of what she was gonna say anyway
Sam: Meh, I have a pretty good idea of what she was gonna say anyway
*wispers* if you do know,tell me
Last edited:
I didn't read too much of this fic, but I think it could use more description, and more motivation for characters. Otherwise, its pretty good. It's my fault I don't understand it.
Give a holler over in Keys if you wanna use Jac.
Give a holler over in Keys if you wanna use Jac.
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2005
- Messages
- 3,592
Heh, yeah, no problem. Thanks for the critique! Anyway, yeah, Ketso finds motivation pretty soon. I think C_U and I may have worked something out.
you talked eariler about caching up. i think you should stay about two chapp. ahead you readers.
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2005
- Messages
- 3,592
I AM two chaps ahead. But my fic hit a bump! So I have to clear said bump with C_U, who's never on, on acount of High School...
well befor i go to school I sneak on the com.also my older brother is in high school and he gets home an hour after I do .And if i have a question i half to wate a whoul hour
i just wan'ted to keep this on the first page
keep up the good work. cant wait 2 read more.
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2005
- Messages
- 3,592
Keybladeking double posted just so this wouldn't be on the second page... That's major loyal, man.
What? I don't get it.
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2005
- Messages
- 3,592
K, well, here's chapter 5!
Ketso discovered that the Gummi ship was the greatest invention of all time. He felt so happy there, as if he were setting off for an adventure. He was glad for the first time since he'd lost his heart, especially when he realized that he WAS setting off for an adventure. He turned to the back as Gerard grunted.
"I-don't-like-Gummis, remember? Competely made of gummy, none for Gerard?" Gerard said, shaking.
Piku stared back at him. "Baby."
Gerard kicked her, and Piku punched him in the stomach, but Ketso didn't notice those two fighting.
"What did you call this thing? A chewey?"
"It's a Gummi." explained Piku, who now was sitting on top of Gerard's shoulders, pulling his hair. Ketso pulled them apart.
"Is it really gummy?"
"DUH!" Piku said, as the two of them walked.
"But you don't lick the walls, right?" Ketso asked, curious.
"No. Not unless you want to find yourself in space with yer head imploding. Only an idiot would lick a Gummi."
Ketso thought it was a good thing that Gerard had stuck his tonge back inside his mouth and caught up with them. Ketso KNEW it was a good thing that Piku hadn't seen Gerard doing this.
Piku opened up the door and sat in the pilot's chair, flipping switches and hitting buttons. Her eyes flicked to the boys behind her.
"Sit down." She said. "Do I have to tell you to do EVERYTHING?"
"Yes!" Gerard said, angrily.
"In that case, hold yer breath 'til I say stop."
Ketso snickered.
Piku turned to him. "Don't laugh at my buddy."
She swiveled her chair so she was facing the controls. Gerard frowned. "What? Well, I can't eat the ship, so, um, what is there to eat?"
Piku turned to the boys again. "Ugh. Gummi newbs. Food's over there."
Gerard puffed up his chest, defiantly. "I've been on a gummi before! I'm no n00b!"
"Yeah, sure, whatever." Piku said, ignoring the boys.
Ketso and Gerard shrugged and walked to a row of cabinets.
"What's with you and that-" Ketso started.
"Ravishing being of beauty?" Gerard said dreamily.
"Um... I was gonna say 'chick' but that works... Well, what's the story?"
Gerard became stern. "None of yer business. But I'm going to kill someone for her."
Ketso smiled. "Um, but what if things don't work out?"
"What?" Gerard said, a blank look on his face.
"If you kill a guy for this-" (Gerard stared at Ketso hard) "-ravishing being of... beauty, and it doesn't work out, you just killed a guy over nothing."
"RIKKU AND I WILL BE HAPPY!" Gerard said, a huge sword forming in his hand.
"No toys allowed, Ger. Put it back." Piku said flatly. Gerard frowned, but the sword disappeared. Ketso argued.
"Well, what if you fall for her best friend or something?"
"Pfft. That's so stupid. Why would that happen?" Gerard said. Ketso shook his head and flopped into the copilot's seat.
"So what's your story?" Ketso asked.
"What's yours?"
"Not interesting..." Ketso said. He wasn't sure if this girl was trustworthy. She'd probably try to steal a keyblade. "Yours?"
"What's it to you?" Piku said.
"Nothin'!" Ketso said. He left the 2-foot pilot to her business.
Wandering around, Ketso found the dorms. He noticed that the Pilot's Quarters were quite bigger than the others. He also noted that Gerard was practicing with his sword in his sleep.
"SY! DIE! Hey, that rhymes!" Gerard said, nearly taking off Ketso's head, his eyes still closed.
Ketso quickly chose a different room.
Piku sat, sighing. It was 4 A.M., and they still hadn't reached any worlds. Piku nearly fell asleep, but she shook herself awake. She watched the moniter.
Ketso laid in bed, fiddling with his keyblade. He decided to wander around and see if anyone else was up. He knocked on the door to Piku's quarters, but nobody was inside. He walked in, just to get an idea of how big her room was.
Ketso saw a regular sized bed, a desk, and a small chair. There was even a screen floating in midair; Ketso guessed it was a T.V. He looked over to the desk.
There must've been a thousand papers on that desk. Maps of worlds, notes scrawled (some in English, some in other languages), and charts of stars littered the small table. Ketso picked up a hand-drawn map taped to a chart of stars.
"Tipa", the map was labeled. It had a small planet covered in lush grass and a few houses and towns. The thing that really stood out was the giant blue-green crystal protruding from the planet. Ketso turned his gaze to the chart. A few places on it were circled. "Tipa?" was scrawled across the page, and a few more notes in different languages were, too.
Ketso put the papers back down, feeling almost guilty. Piku was trying to find her home world. His eyes strayed to a small, maybe three-inch long crystal, similar to the one on that planet. He picked it up, and it glowed bright in his hand. He felt warmth surge through his body, he felt happy and-
"What're you doing in my room?!" Piku said, appearing at the door. She looked sleepy, but furious. She reached up her hand and flicked on the light switch. She saw that he was holding the crystal and her map of Tipa. Her eyes widened.
"Get OUT!" she yelled. She leapt at him, kicking him in the stomach and hopping over him. Her lance appeared out of the air (much like Ketso's keyblade did for him), and Piku smashed it into his back, sending him flying across the room. He landed just outside her room.
"Stay OUT!" Piku yelled as she slammed the door in his face. Ketso stood there for a moment, stunned. He had dropped the crystal and map in the confusion. He wondered if Piku was crying. Without thinking, he opened the door.
"What the heck?!" Piku said, angrily. She was sitting at her desk, playing with a floating gummi toy. She was definately not crying. She threw a heavy book at his face. Luckily, Ketso had closed the door.
Ketso, while walking back to his room, decided to spend the entire next day with Gerard, no matter what.
How do you guys like it?
Ketso discovered that the Gummi ship was the greatest invention of all time. He felt so happy there, as if he were setting off for an adventure. He was glad for the first time since he'd lost his heart, especially when he realized that he WAS setting off for an adventure. He turned to the back as Gerard grunted.
"I-don't-like-Gummis, remember? Competely made of gummy, none for Gerard?" Gerard said, shaking.
Piku stared back at him. "Baby."
Gerard kicked her, and Piku punched him in the stomach, but Ketso didn't notice those two fighting.
"What did you call this thing? A chewey?"
"It's a Gummi." explained Piku, who now was sitting on top of Gerard's shoulders, pulling his hair. Ketso pulled them apart.
"Is it really gummy?"
"DUH!" Piku said, as the two of them walked.
"But you don't lick the walls, right?" Ketso asked, curious.
"No. Not unless you want to find yourself in space with yer head imploding. Only an idiot would lick a Gummi."
Ketso thought it was a good thing that Gerard had stuck his tonge back inside his mouth and caught up with them. Ketso KNEW it was a good thing that Piku hadn't seen Gerard doing this.
Piku opened up the door and sat in the pilot's chair, flipping switches and hitting buttons. Her eyes flicked to the boys behind her.
"Sit down." She said. "Do I have to tell you to do EVERYTHING?"
"Yes!" Gerard said, angrily.
"In that case, hold yer breath 'til I say stop."
Ketso snickered.
Piku turned to him. "Don't laugh at my buddy."
She swiveled her chair so she was facing the controls. Gerard frowned. "What? Well, I can't eat the ship, so, um, what is there to eat?"
Piku turned to the boys again. "Ugh. Gummi newbs. Food's over there."
Gerard puffed up his chest, defiantly. "I've been on a gummi before! I'm no n00b!"
"Yeah, sure, whatever." Piku said, ignoring the boys.
Ketso and Gerard shrugged and walked to a row of cabinets.
"What's with you and that-" Ketso started.
"Ravishing being of beauty?" Gerard said dreamily.
"Um... I was gonna say 'chick' but that works... Well, what's the story?"
Gerard became stern. "None of yer business. But I'm going to kill someone for her."
Ketso smiled. "Um, but what if things don't work out?"
"What?" Gerard said, a blank look on his face.
"If you kill a guy for this-" (Gerard stared at Ketso hard) "-ravishing being of... beauty, and it doesn't work out, you just killed a guy over nothing."
"RIKKU AND I WILL BE HAPPY!" Gerard said, a huge sword forming in his hand.
"No toys allowed, Ger. Put it back." Piku said flatly. Gerard frowned, but the sword disappeared. Ketso argued.
"Well, what if you fall for her best friend or something?"
"Pfft. That's so stupid. Why would that happen?" Gerard said. Ketso shook his head and flopped into the copilot's seat.
"So what's your story?" Ketso asked.
"What's yours?"
"Not interesting..." Ketso said. He wasn't sure if this girl was trustworthy. She'd probably try to steal a keyblade. "Yours?"
"What's it to you?" Piku said.
"Nothin'!" Ketso said. He left the 2-foot pilot to her business.
Wandering around, Ketso found the dorms. He noticed that the Pilot's Quarters were quite bigger than the others. He also noted that Gerard was practicing with his sword in his sleep.
"SY! DIE! Hey, that rhymes!" Gerard said, nearly taking off Ketso's head, his eyes still closed.
Ketso quickly chose a different room.
Piku sat, sighing. It was 4 A.M., and they still hadn't reached any worlds. Piku nearly fell asleep, but she shook herself awake. She watched the moniter.
Ketso laid in bed, fiddling with his keyblade. He decided to wander around and see if anyone else was up. He knocked on the door to Piku's quarters, but nobody was inside. He walked in, just to get an idea of how big her room was.
Ketso saw a regular sized bed, a desk, and a small chair. There was even a screen floating in midair; Ketso guessed it was a T.V. He looked over to the desk.
There must've been a thousand papers on that desk. Maps of worlds, notes scrawled (some in English, some in other languages), and charts of stars littered the small table. Ketso picked up a hand-drawn map taped to a chart of stars.
"Tipa", the map was labeled. It had a small planet covered in lush grass and a few houses and towns. The thing that really stood out was the giant blue-green crystal protruding from the planet. Ketso turned his gaze to the chart. A few places on it were circled. "Tipa?" was scrawled across the page, and a few more notes in different languages were, too.
Ketso put the papers back down, feeling almost guilty. Piku was trying to find her home world. His eyes strayed to a small, maybe three-inch long crystal, similar to the one on that planet. He picked it up, and it glowed bright in his hand. He felt warmth surge through his body, he felt happy and-
"What're you doing in my room?!" Piku said, appearing at the door. She looked sleepy, but furious. She reached up her hand and flicked on the light switch. She saw that he was holding the crystal and her map of Tipa. Her eyes widened.
"Get OUT!" she yelled. She leapt at him, kicking him in the stomach and hopping over him. Her lance appeared out of the air (much like Ketso's keyblade did for him), and Piku smashed it into his back, sending him flying across the room. He landed just outside her room.
"Stay OUT!" Piku yelled as she slammed the door in his face. Ketso stood there for a moment, stunned. He had dropped the crystal and map in the confusion. He wondered if Piku was crying. Without thinking, he opened the door.
"What the heck?!" Piku said, angrily. She was sitting at her desk, playing with a floating gummi toy. She was definately not crying. She threw a heavy book at his face. Luckily, Ketso had closed the door.
Ketso, while walking back to his room, decided to spend the entire next day with Gerard, no matter what.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you guys like it?
me: LMAO!! SO FUNNY!! XDDDDDDD
Sora: LOVED THAT CHAPPY!! ^_^
Aozora: *unconcious from laughing too much* X_x
Kaze:......................>_>
Sora: LOVED THAT CHAPPY!! ^_^
Aozora: *unconcious from laughing too much* X_x
Kaze:......................>_>
Coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool!!!!!
Piku is strong Kesto must realy be hurt.
Piku is strong Kesto must realy be hurt.
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2005
- Messages
- 3,592
Heh heh, thanks! But Gerard's even stronger than Piku, as you'll find out in the next chapter-
I mean... The next chapter is full of happy little prancing bunnies that eat butter all day! Font came out tiny... That bugs me to death.
I mean... The next chapter is full of happy little prancing bunnies that eat butter all day! Font came out tiny... That bugs me to death.
Da bunnys are gunna die cause butter is bad for you!
Gerard's gunna fight somone yay violence!!!!
Gerard's gunna fight somone yay violence!!!!
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2005
- Messages
- 3,592
Not just anyone. He's gonna fight Ket-ch a fallin' star and... you'll burn yer hands!
- Status