Table of Contents
O’aka approached the unattractive green and yellow building in the rear of the district.
“Gil, here I come!!” O’aka shouted, and cracked the door, proceeding to barge in unannounced.
“Behold; the hand of God!!” Java’s hand impended swiftly upon the crown of O’aka head, “No! Bad O’wocker!”
“Ouch!” O’aka winced. Java quickly shut the cracked door. O’aka hung his head submissively low as Java’s belittling stare revisited.
Damned idiot... “Knock first…” Java reached for the door and knocked reluctantly; he felt that the events of almost barging in and then knocking were contradictory and redundant.
Java and O’aka heard swift peddling footsteps approach the door from the inside. Java turned to the merchant and preceded a reminder, “O’aka…when we meet Scrooge and his lackeys—”
O’aka blurted with subtle anticipation, “Yeah mate—I really owe ya one big! Whatever ye nee—”
“—don’t talk.” The door creaked open, and a small host peeked through the cracked door. He immediately slammed the door in the faces of Java and O’aka.
“Poppa!” The boy host’s voice protruded through the door and echoed from the inside. Another pair of footsteps approached to engage the door. The door opened fully this time, revealing an older fellow and the accompanying boy who answered earlier.
“Oh—hello there…” the older man greeted. The snow-headed elder and the child donned humble attire. The older man wore brown tinged collar shirt and pants, and an even browner vest. Square, narrow glasses and his bushy mustache centered his face. A simple straw hat with a red feather crowned the boy’s black hair, and his white collared shirt and red overalls were accompanied by a big red bowtie.
Java addressed, “—yes sir. I’m sorry for almost
barging—in—” Java’s words were a non-existence leer to the demeaned merchant. Java continued, “My friends at the goods shop mentioned a meeting here. I was hoping that the Grand Ambassador wouldn’t mind us dropping by and seeking his opinion on something. Grand Ambassador Scrooge, I presume?”
“Oh…” The older man chuckled with humility and corrected, “No; I’m sorry to disappoint; I’m could never put up with what Scrooge handles on a daily basis. Why don’t you both come—” but his proposal was interrupted by two voices.
“Ohhh
brothher…” The first voice was a raspy one, and one of agitation.
The second voice was accompanied by another set of footsteps, “
Hey! What’s all tha hubbub?” which advanced towards the entry. The young boy, uninterested in the idle interruptions, retreated into the foyer of the home; the source of the second voice took the boy’s place beside the meagerly dressed gent.
The older man addressed Java and O’aka, “I believe that this is the man you’re looking for—Scrooge McDuck.” Java nodded nonchalantly in greeting. O’aka stared with merry eyes.
Scrooge winced attentively at the daunting appearance of the weary-eyed young man in an ivory robe and then at the happy-go-lucky expression of the merchant. Scrooge inspected the merchant thoroughly and addressed, “Hmmm…you look…somewhat
familiar…”
Java swiftly intercepted Scrooge’s sights with words of greeting, “Ah, Grand Ambassador! How goes your day Mr. Scrooge? I came to ask of your opinion on something, and I’ll try to make my visit as short as possible. I heard from the crew at the item shop that you wouldn’t mind us coming by.”
“Well now, we
were in the middle of discussing something very important concerning the Travel System. So I
would have ta turn ya around ‘til later…”
“Oh…I completely unde—”
“—
if it wasn’t the goods shop crew who sent you over, that is. Ms. Rose just called me on my celly, and said that she sent a friend over with some business. Heh heh, I’m still kinda getting used to handling these new-fangled ‘cellular phones’…so what business do ya have with me fellas, and more importantly—” Scrooge winced slightly, “how much is it gonna cost me?”
Java noted O’aka and his enlightened intent to answer. Java swiftly answered before O’aka could muster a response, “Only a few moments of your time, that’s all.
No munny at all! I apologize for the earlier intrusion again sir.”
Scrooge’s wince endured, “Or gil?”
Java assured, “Nope.”
Scrooge exhaled in relief, “Oh, that sounds grand then—oh well, I’m sure Bantuk and Rose didn’t send you here for simple lollygag…” Scrooge dispelled his weariness with a sigh, “So what’s business are you bringin’ to me in specif—” Scrooge’s response was stifled abruptly by several lingering voices.
… Hey! Whhatz tha big idea Unca Scrooge?! I though thiz meeting was suppose ta be shhort!
… Oh, don’t go blaming Scrooge! It would have been—if we didn’t have to wait for a certain wandering, conscienceless, irresponsible straggler!”
… Ohhh, you call that an inssult? Don’t get your shhoes all in a knot Jiminy!
… Ooh, I have the right mind to show you a thing or two—
The gray haired gentleman proposed that they should all retreat inside and provide formal introductions.
… Poppa! Come make sure Jiminy doesn’t knock down your thinga-ma-bobbers! He’s angry!
… No, I am not angry! But I wouldn’t be wrong to be…
… Ah Ha Ha Haaa! Jiminy?! Angry?!! Hahahahaha!!! Haaa hahaha!!! Yeah right!! Whatcha gonna do to me?! Huh shrimpy!
Scrooge seconded, “Heh heh—yes…I kinda fancy that idea myself. Lets hurry…before things
really start ta get ‘
outta hand’…come-come fellas; like I always say, tha more tha munnier—oops,” Scrooge chuckled bashfully, “—tha more tha merrier.”
Java gave a slight nod of approval, “Sounds great to me. Thank you again, Grand Ambassador Scrooge.”
“Oh, I’d actually prefer that you shove tha formalities—ya don’t
have ta call me ‘grand ambassador’ all the time, though it does sound good on a resume…jus call me
Scrooge, or if ya must, or you can slip a
Mr. in from time ta time. I don’t mind.”
O’aka responded with glee, raring to enter the abode, “Yessir Mr. McDuc—”
O’aka…I’ll kill you…
Java’s irises skimmed across his bloodshot eyeballs until he captured O’aka in his peripheral version. Java coughed.
The ominous chill that O’aka felt by way of the malice of Java’s leer and the black wind which escaped Java’s forced exhale was insuppressible. O’aka shuddered and corrected, “—I mean…
thank ye.”
Strike one Wocker…
Java and O’aka proceeded, escorted by Scrooge and the mustached gentleman. The entrance led way to the main room. Chiefly, the house foyer was a giant workspace which included a neat clutter of clocks and other gadgets. Cat-shaped clocks, duck-shaped clocks, white clocks with Dalmatian spot, cuckoo clocks, alarm clocks; they all adorned themselves on plain wooden shelves with the simple purpose of laying waste to empty wall space. Other gizmos accompanied the clocks in hiding the pale yellow wall. A large round table littered the center of the foyer. A small kitchen area and an even smaller washroom claimed the rear of the house.
Scrooge scolded two people, whom were waiting irritably at the round table, “You two! Simmer down this instant!”
The younger boy who accompanied the gentleman earlier stood loitering in the kitchen. A flustered Jiminy stood atop the chafing table with arms folded and foot tapping. His scornful glance bore into a duck firebrand, who sat impatiently with his arms crossed. Each was dressed quite formally, though the duck, who wore the appearance of a younger Scrooge, seemed fidgety in his black suit jacket and bowtie.
“Ohhh phooey…” the young duck scoffed as he reluctantly minded Scrooge.
Jiminy responded fussily, “Hmph…
he started it…I’m telling ya Scrooge, you really ought to keep your nephew in check. If I wasn’t an
official conscience of the Blue Fairy, I would have the mind to say very terrible things right now…”
Scrooge dismissed, “Oh, pish-posh! It’s time ta nip all
that shilly-shally in tha bud! We have guests, so we’ll hafta be as entertainin’ as we can be.”
Heh, I think a cricket and duck fight would be rather entertaining, but eh…Java’s thoughts roamed between randomness and coffee…
Heh, I’d bet that a cricket and duck fight would be quite entertaining. I could definitely make some gil off that…O’aka’s and Java’s thoughts were surprisingly in sync, as both glanced over at one another with smug aspiration.
Jiminy and the young duck reluctantly calmed. The older gentleman showed Java and O’aka their seats. Scrooge addressed, “Okay there! Now that we’ve all settled down, we can finally get acquainted! Shall we?”
Java gave a slight look around the table to assure no one else would start, then nodded with his replied, “J. Black—not the most profile-worthy name, but…”
The company awaited any additional information. None came. Scrooge readdressed, “Oh—does the ‘J’ stand for anything in particular? Like ‘John’ or ‘Jacob’ or ‘Jingleheimer’—”
“Or ‘Jiminy’ perhaps?” Jiminy chuckled.
Java’s face became long, lacking anticipation. He really hated when people queried his introductions. He winced slightly as he replied, “Uhhh…it…stands for ‘Java’—”
Scrooge smiled and responded, “Ah, I’d prefer two lumps of sugar myself.”
O’aka was the first to chuckle,
Tee hee hee, that is funny. I was wondering what tha ‘J’ stood for…which was enough to spawn a slight chuckle from each guest until Java corrected it spitefully, “Yeah that’s right ‘tee hee hee’
coffee and
script, I know; it’s
that funny…” Java slumped into his chair to consul his insecurities, “I’d much rather prefer J…please.”
Taken aback, Scrooge apologized, “Oh…well I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had such a hard time with introductions and such.” The older gentleman stood from his chair to break the current tension. He addressed, “Well Java, my name is Geppetto, if that’s any consolation for peculiar names. I used to rent this house out before returning recently. I’m a woodcarver.”
Java’s eyebrows rose wholly and he pondered Geppetto’s introduction,
Well Java, my name is Geppetto…Java…Geppetto…Geppetto’s FREKKIN’ Java! Yay!
Java replied with a cheerful insight that clashed with his usual sarcastic presence. Java was giddy…“Oh okay! Wowies! It’s a pleasure to meet you Geppetto—hey you wouldn’t by chance happen to be affiliated with…
Geppetto’s Java by any chance? Huh, would ya? Because if you are—” Java unleashed something monstrous. His eyes cracked open wholly and the pale expression around his mouth contorted into something uncanny. Java continued with a full-fledged smile, “I’ve heard your coffee is god-sent! As a matter of fact, that’s one of my main reasons for coming to Traverse Town, sir!”
The overall mood of the room was flushed with Java’s giddiness. The heads of Scrooge and Jiminy nodded with approval, and the boy in the kitchen naively shouted, “He likes your shop, Poppa!”
Scrooge emphasized, “Ah, ya hear that Geppetto?! A
fan of your place!”
O’aka nodded in agreement. Java, with his newfound glee, noted,
O’aka isn’t doing half bad, sitting there all calm and sh*t…definitely deserving of a big cookie and a mocha latte…yeah! I can treat O’aka XXIII! Coffee for the world!
O’aka agreed silently with Scrooge and company concerning Geppetto’s Java,
Place is a goldmine. I could never afford anything there, but still a gold mine. I’ve definitely been chased away from that place a coupla times by tha Traverse Town fuzz…
Geppetto blushed slightly while humbly refusing to take full credit of maintaining Geppetto’s Java.
“Why not?!” Scrooge sighed questioning Geppetto’s humility, “Please allow
me to
formally introduce Geppetto…Geppetto, Manager of the
acclaimed Geppetto’s Java,
Chief Ambassador of Traverse Town,
and Chief Engineer of Wishing Star Incorporated.”
Java compelled a fair interest, “O’ r’ly…Wishing Star—that’s sounds like a pretty impressive resume to me.”
Geppetto commented inspiringly, “Well…it’s nothing that a little hard work and dedication can’t do, really—”
Jiminy playfully scolded, “Ha! Now we
all know better than that! You really ought to give yourself more credit—”
“Heck! Java and friend!” Scrooge exclaimed in attempts to override Geppetto’s compelling modesty, “Ya really don’t understand—” Scrooge indicated to the kitchen, “the boy in there used to be
puppet; he made his own son…outta wood! An’ taught him how ta be real! He’s flesh and bone now! If I’m lying, I’m
flying!”
… He tellin’ the truth!
Geppetto acknowledged, “Ah yes, have you been acquainted with my son Pinnochio? Pinnochio son!”
… Geez poppa, I saw them when I answered the door!
Jiminy objected, “Stop with the modesty already! Let
me tell you a little something about this man Geppetto. Now, while looking for Pinnochio, Geppetto found himself
inside a
huge whale—I guess you could call it a
whale of a whale!!”
The younger duck allowed himself to plop atop the table while sighed, “Ohh, not tha whale story again…”
“Hmm…whale…interesting…” Java feinted interest in Jiminy’s gradual digression of a previous adventure of which Geppetto went to search for his lost ‘son’ Pinnochio, and wound up in the mouth of a gargantuan whale. Java’s thoughts were fixated on ‘the best coffee I ever tasted;’ this was quoted from Java’s ex-employer.
“Well, ta conclude the whole Geppetto fiasco,” Scrooge finally intervened, “he’s quite familiar with Traverse Town. His expertise was vital in making the travel system into more than just an idea. A coupla months ago, I saw it convenient ta ask Geppetto ta return here and continue his work, but I didn’t want ta force him anywhere. So I asked him if there was anything I could do ta make his stay in Traverse Town pleasant, and I couldn’t believe it when he asked if there was a place vacant ta start a good café.”
Scrooge broke into a spontaneous chuckle and progressed, “My eyes went wider than a frog’s! And I replied, ‘heck! I have no clue, but there will be! I’ll buy it! The place—the coffee! Haha, even tha kitchen sink! How’s that sound? Geppetto’s Java!’ n’ tha name stuck like munny to ma hand!”
“Thus, greatness begins…” Java further directed the conversation towards coffee, “Well then Geppetto, you are honestly a busy and hard-working man! With coffee! And I see that even when you won’t give yourself proper credit, someone else is always dying to. How’s the shop today if you don’t mind me asking?” Java eagerly awaited Geppetto’s reply. He imagined it as such:
Aw! Such a kind and considerate young man! In this imagery, Java pants vigorously on all fours, nestled underneath Geppetto’s warm shins…Java needed coffee…
Well…just because you seem so concerned about me and my boring, miserable life, I’m gonna give you a free supply of coffee—for life! Black like your soul! Just how you like it! Heck, Java you can have the whole damn shop! And what’s a shop without your very own personal clown! and O’aka would enter fully donned in jester’s attire, ready to amuse the court of Java with a rhythmic jiggle and a snazzy jingle…the imagination of a euphoric Zombie Fiend was a paradox, or a parody. Choose one.
Geppetto replied casually, “Well, the shop’s been holding up pretty well—Pinnochio usually keeps the place squeaky clean, and I just hired a fine young lady about a week ago.”
Jiminy queried, “Hmm—do you think you’re going to open up today? Everything’s kinda been nonstop with this town over the last few weeks.”
“Oh, I’m afraid I
won’t be opening up the café today. You see one of my employees has been working herself ragged, and between lack of staff and this meeting, I assumed that I wouldn’t have time to open up. I just couldn’t leave Pinnochio by his lonesome—”
What…the…f*ck…the conjured jester O’aka laughed hysterically at Java’s subconscious.
STRIKE F*CKING TW—oh wait…I can’t get mad at Wocker, he didn’t do a damn thing…
A cold chill whipped snappily through Java’s spine. He fidgeted vigorously and murmured morbidly, “Oh…”
yet…
“Poppa, I could run the coffee shop by myself—at least for a little while.” Pinnochio screamed from the kitchen.
PINNOKI YOU GOD-SENT!
Java’s erupted with a sudden anticipation, and impulsively expelled, “Yeah yeah!”
Jiminy denied, “Oh no, you certainly couldn’t; you’d only find yourself in a heap of trouble, like you always do.” Java re-immersed into depression,
damn cricket…
Scrooge progressed, “Ahem—well anywho, I suppose the next introduction really isn’t necessary, but I’ll do it anyway; because I like me.” He chuckled slightly. Java didn’t smile; no one did. He brashly cleared his throat and continued, “I am Scrooge McDuck, bijillionaire business tycoon, and core contributor as well as Grand Ambassador of the Inter-Worldly Travel System which you use today.”
Java temporarily snapped out of his recession to question Scrooge’s claimed wealth, “A bijillion?! Sh*t—I mean—how much is bijillion…exactly?”
O’aka giggled slightly with a strong twinkle in his eye,
Ye had it right tha first time mate! Ye had it right the first time…
Scrooge shrugged whilst honestly replying, “Beats me. I made it up since no one’s found a number to correspond with my munny yet. It was either the flaunty-sounding one multiplujillion, one obsquatumatillion, six hundred and twenty-three dollars and sixty-two cents, the more modest seventy-eight katrizillion, or simply bajillion. Tahaha, ‘tis a gift and a curse…but what can I say…I’m in tha munny! At least I’m sure of that! The richest duck in the world, and I’ll bet my number one dime on it!”
O’aka chuckled smugly and addressed, “Ye
sure are in tha munny sir! And—”
Java cleared his throat,
Oh hell no bitch…you don’t get to talk! If I can have coffees, you can’t have wordees! Strike-motherf*cking-two b*tch…
O’aka looked down at his feet underneath the table and replied, “I mean…yessir…”
Jiminy teasingly jeered “Your friend certainly is
talkative.”
Java nodded and answered, “It’s best if we keep him that way”
Scrooge proceeded to introduce the ‘conscience-worthy’ cricket before Jiminy forcefully interrupted, “Cricket’s the name! Jiminy Cricket, Chief Global Ambassador, Disney Royal Chronicler, Traverse Town Treasurer, and former conscience of Pinnochio at your service!” The younger duck sighed.
“Geez duck! Let him finish.” Java had become slightly irritable after he realized that he had to look after O’aka XXIII without the sweet comfort of coffee. The young duck shot Java an irritable glance, one which Java returned in the form of a blank stare. The duck firebrand grumbled with submission. Java smirked,
hell yeah, duck…strike one for you to then b*tch…
Jiminy progressed, “Ahem, before I was so rudely interrupted, following up on the esteem that Scrooge placed on the Inter-Worldly Travel System, I for one would like to commend—”
“Too much introduction…” the duck yawned.
Jiminy continued, “like to
commend all of us who put the effort in making the Travel System as successful as it is. I mean just look at it! It really has been awhile since all of us have been together like this and I’m glad to see that this dream of ours is actually shaping up! I haven’t felt this invigorated since Geppetto, Pinnoch, and I lost our world to the Heartless. It’s just like embarking on another adventure, and I’ve been tossed and turned asunder on adventure after adventure for so long, that it feels second nature to dive head first into another one with you guys.”
Scrooge mustered a resolve to comment, “Y’know, Java and friend—”
Java intercepted before O’aka was tempted to introduce himself, “Mr. Twenty-third…my friend prefers Mr. XXIII…he was previously a clown…”
Slightly nerved, Scrooge hesitantly continued, “ok…well, Java, Mr. XXIII, it may seem like you’re in tha presence of some ol’ highbrows, but in reality, if you hadn’t noticed, we’re all pretty down-to-earth. As you can probably tell, I and tha latter are always up for a good gossip…”
Jiminy proudly seconded, “Ain’t
that the truth. The highlight of
my job is getting the otherwise impossible opportunity of checking up on old friends, and I get to peek in on ol’ Pinnoch every now and then,” Jiminy addressed Pinnochio in the kitchen, “hey Pinnochio, how’s dinner? You’ve been in the kitchen for quite sometime.”
Pinnochio answered hesitantly, “Uh, just a little more brussell sprouts to go Jiminy—mm mm good!”
Java grinned menacingly as he randomly contemplated everyone’s conversation,
Heh heh, big wooden liar…Scrike one Nokio!
Coffee denied Java.
Jiminy whispered, “Hehe. Fibber. Probably
sneaking cookies from the cookie jar. Things were much simpler when his nose grew.”
“heh heh—wait—” Java’s replies became sparatic with each coffee-less moment.
Jiminy addressed Pinnochio again, asking if he had been saving up his munny. Pinnochio replied, claiming that he was saving to customize his own Teeny Ship
[1].
Pinnochio’s comment wove a path for Java’s actual purpose at the house; Java replied, “Ah Teeny Ships, I’ll eventually save up more munny to pimp out
Cuppa Joe with some of those—that actually brings me to the reason I’m here. Mr. XXIII and I were sent here to see if these prints were any good; you see Mr. XXIII one true love is designing Gummi Ships and he wanted—”
Jiminy leaped up, “Well ya don’t say! Why that’s marve—”
Something vile happened.
“Ahem!!” O’aka cleared his throat and compellingly leapt from his seat, “My one true love is
not designing Gummi Ships! It’s a stress-free hobby. My one true love is the O’aka Family Business!!”
Java banged his head violently upon the table,
You mutherf*cker…you did it, didn’t ya…dead in the moment of truth…Strike three!!!
He cryptically whispered, “O’aka, you’re dead to me…”
[1] Teeny Ships are accessories of Gummi Ships, capable of supporting a pilot; very few Teeny Ships are classified as certified Gummi Ships by the DGV (Department of Gummi Vehicles); however, most are deemed space worthy for solitary travel, not requiring a parent Gummi Ship. Although, more expensive solely then as an accessory, Teeny Ships are still relatively cheaper than Gummi models.