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Fanfiction ► Riku and Terra



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Zipporahss

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Here's the link to the rest of the story, out of stupidity I started a new thread! Here's the link!
http://forums.khinsider.com/fanfiction/115864-riku-mai.html


Please don't connect Terra from the KH game to this female character...
I chose her name without thinking but her true name will be revealed later in the story. There is one major twist, it will come during the last chapter. It will explain Terra's reason's for her anger and hatred for Riku.

Enjoy!!! Please tell me of any errors and I'll fix them.
Chapter two!!!
http://forums.khinsider.com/fanfiction/115864-riku-mai.html


Riku and Terra

A fanfic by Zipporahss
One


The night was late, no longer young. The sound of running feet filled the forest. There was no other sound other than yells and dogs snapping their jaws wildly. The young girl tried to run but she was half naked with only a sheet to cover her. The sheet made her trip and fall. Running became harder; she couldn’t run for much longer, the sound of dogs grew greater and also closer. Her breath was leaving her with every step. She fell again; she couldn’t fight or run any more. All that training, all that works, wasted. She was going to die in that wood; she was going to die under that moon.

Her vision was going, although all around her it was black, her vision was showing more darkness than there was. Her sight was leaving her very slowly. She looked at the path that she had fallen on, the pursuers were close behind. Their dogs were off their leashes and they were blood thirsty. Their barks echoed and their owners yelled random commands. She closed her eyes as the dogs came into view. One dog a German shepherd larger than the others charged in for the attack. He pounced in and his jaws were snapping and wet with spit.

The young girl snapped her eyes open to the dog’s loud bark. The young girl watched as it came closer in its jump. But then it fell to its side. The dog landed behind a tree. The tree fell on the dog and the other dogs continued to attack, they bark, growled and ran faster and faster. But they soon fell to the same fate as the larger dog. Branches fell on the dogs and they cried out of pain. Then she saw it. She saw him! Silver hair, blue eyes and light skin, this was the person who saved her. Or at least she thought so.

She closed her eyes and as the darkness came her hearing told her a tall of horrific battle. She heard the sound of the men falling through trees and landing, crushing their bones together. After a long silence she could hear the steps of her hero.

“Are you alright?” he asked. “Can you hear me?”

She couldn’t respond she was too tired, too weak. “It’s okay; I’ll take you somewhere safe, just hold…” She couldn’t hear any more. For sure she thought she had passed. But that voice stayed with her. She rested in the darkness with that voice always with her. It must have been years, thousands of years, she felt like she was in darkness for forever.

Until one day the familiar feeling of warmth touched her face. Light! She had forgotten what it felt like; darkness was her friend for so long. But the light was more loyal; it lost her now it had come back. How loyal! She opened her eyes and light poured in. She closed her eyes quickly and reopened them. At the sight of the light, that was over her, she took a deep breath. Then she jumped up, she held her arm it was in pain.

“You’re awake,” his blue eyes met her red ones. He held a tray in his hand. It had fruits on it. “Would you like to eat?”

She was sitting up; she glared at him from the corner of her eye. She didn’t speak.

“I am not shocked; I know that look, the look of a warrior, you must be strong,” he said. He placed the tray down on the bed. She glared at him, the looked gave the appearance of hate. “If looks can kill,” he said softly. “Eat up, you’ll need it.” He sat on the bed. His silver hair was long and a little pass his shoulders. His skin looked so soft.

“I… I…” she tried to speak.

“Don’t waste your time, tell me your name later,” he smiled, “I’m Riku, you can call me that from now on,” he sat up from the bed and left. At that moment she realized how tall he was. Soon he was gone beyond the door.

The hour went by quickly and Riku came back. He didn’t go to the bed he went to the window with his cell in hand. He flipped open and dialed a number. “Hey, it’s me… no, I can’t come… I have something to do… yeah, so go without me, tell the others I said hi,” Riku hung up the phone without even saying a casual good bye. He turned to the girl. “Are you still hungry?”

“No,” she said, hostility was on her sleeves.

“No need to be harsh, that warrior act won’t work on me,” he said. He didn’t smile, grin or nothing. He didn’t seem to have emotion at that point. “Will you tell me your name now?”

She glared at him. She didn’t really like this Riku, something about him she didn’t like or trust. She lifted her chin slightly. “I am Terra.”

“Terra… really? Odd…”

“What’s wrong with it?” she frowned. Her long brown hair fell done her shoulders of light brown skin.

“Nothing. Your name is…” he paused. He looked out the open window and heard a scream once more. “I’ll be back!” he jumped out the window and landed two stories down. Terra tried to go to the window but she couldn’t move, her legs were so sore she couldn’t move them. She heard some screams and then silence. Then a couple of claps. Terra waited and waited the minutes seemed like hours. Riku reentered the room closing the door behind him.

“What happened?”

“It’s not for you to know.”

Terra stared at Riku, his blue eyes turned away from her’s. Riku stopped to examine her, she was strong, he could sense that, but something about her was weak, something about her was in sharp pain, she was hurting. What was hurting her?

“I want to leave,” she said after length.

“If you can, go,” Riku said.

“You… I want to leave now! Let me go!”

“I’m not holding you here so go, I don’t feel like watching you anyway,” Riku stared out the window.

“Fine!” Terra tried to move and her legs red and sore kept her from doing so.

“I don’t think you noticed that your legs are not well, you’re too ill to just go,” Riku said.

Terra glared at him.

“I told you, that doesn’t work.”


This went on for weeks before Terra was able to move around the house. But she felt attached to the apartment and never left. Neither did Riku, he spent his time around the kitchen and he spent hours in the shower. Every time he came out wet his hair was still the same, as if he never let the water touch it. Riku always came out with his boxer’s of blue on. Terra learned that he was a lover of blue. Terra’s favorite color was gold and black. Terra didn’t eat with Riku, because she still didn’t trust him.

Riku washed the dishes alone, he didn’t complain.

Terra stood from the coach and went around the wall to the kitchen. She went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of tea. As she pulled it from the fridge she fell back, Riku caught her and the bottle. Terra stared into his eyes and realized that he wasn’t the cruel being she thought he was. That moment Terra saw pain in his eyes, and also strength. He too was strong. Then Terra realized that he was the one that saved her all that time ago.

“Um… thank you,” Terra stood, and grabbed the bottle. She tried not to look inside his eyes any more. She saw something that made her feel weak. Too weak. Terra won fights all the time but now, she felt so weak, he felt as though she couldn’t pick up a sword or even a fist. She pushed by him and went to the counter behind Riku.

“Are you okay?” Riku asked. His voice was soft and it touched her.

“Yeah, I’m fine…” Terra said not looking at him.

Riku had a grin crawl up on his face. He went back to washing dishes. Terra held her breath, she couldn’t wait to leave the kitchen.

Once out of the kitchen she took in all the sweet air she could. Then she heard a small chuckle. “Why do you fear me?”

Terra tried to be calm.

“I don’t trust you, and where’s my weapon?! Where’s my sword?!” she yelled, she lost control of herself. She paused, what weapon? She didn’t have one, she couldn’t remember anything pass the attack, she knew she won many battles, she knew she was strong, but something didn’t make sense. How could she remember all of this but forget where she came from and her weapon she just yelled about? Terra held her head for a moment.

“Your weapon?” Riku asked. “When I found you, you had nothing but a sheet wrapped around you.”
Terra looked up and stared at him.

“I don’t understand!” Terra yelled. With a flash she disappeared beyond the door. Riku chased after her.
“Terra! Terra wait!” Riku chased her and then paused. She was gone, she could have ran in any direction, she could have gone up stairs to the roof, down stairs to the street or down the hall to the stairs that led to an alley. Terra was gone. Riku sighed and closed the door. Then he dashed off to find her. “I gotta find her before she hurts herself again.” He thought.

Running down the street he saw his friend Roxas. Roxas waved to him and stopped him by getting in his way. “What’s your hurry?”

“I have to find her… this girl I was taking care stormed out and ran off. Have you seen her?”
“What’d she look like?”

Riku paused… her skin was like his and her eyes were red. “She has red eyes light skin like mine and long hair.”

“Actually I did, she just came by here, and she dove by and headed to the forest.” Roxas answered.
“Thanks! And tell Axel I’ll see him later!” Riku ran off and waved to Roxas. Riku then understood where she was going. She was going to the last place she remembered. Terra was going to see her memory.

Sorry Chapter two... http://forums.khinsider.com/fanfiction/115864-riku-mai.html
 
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Veriun

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The night was late, no longer young. The sound of running feet filled the forest. There was no other sound other than yells and dogs snapping their jaws wildly. The young girl tried to run but she was half naked with only a sheet to cover her. The sheet made her trip and fall. Running became harder; she couldn’t run for much longer, the sound of dogs grew greater and also closer. Her breath was leaving her with every step. She fell again; she couldn’t fight or run any more. All that training, all that works, wasted. She was going to die in that wood; she was going to die under that moon.

If she's running for her life, why bother keeping the sheet? Especially if it's making her trip.

The young girl snapped her eyes open to the dog’s loud bark. The young girl watched as it came closer in its jump. But then it fell to its side. The dog landed behind a tree. The tree fell on the dog and the other dogs continued to attack, they bark, growled and ran faster and faster. But they soon fell to the same fate as the larger dog. Branches fell on the dogs and they cried out of pain.

This is kind of confusing. What's happening? Are trees falling down at random? And it seems as though the dog jumps through the air... and then just gets flung to the side. Or just as it's about to leap, it falls over. It creates a very funny image in my mind.

She closed her eyes and as the darkness came her hearing told her a tall of horrific battle. She heard the sound of the men falling through trees and landing, crushing their bones together. After a long silence she could hear the steps of her hero.

Again, I'm completely clueless about what's going on. There's a battle? Men falling THROUGH trees? What men? Where did they come from? How does her hearing tell her all this? How does she know it's her "hero" coming, instead of someone else? How does she even know the guy won't harm her? She was in panic just a moment ago, where did it go?

I like how you describe that it feels like years. It's made even stronger when you start the new sentence with "Until one day the familiar feeling of warmth touched her face. Light! She had forgotten what it felt like". It really makes it feel like she was in darkness for very long.


“You’re awake,” his blue eyes met her red ones.

Red eyes? Does she have a disease or bad sight, or is red eyes natural in this story?

“I am not shocked; I know that look, the look of a warrior, you must be strong,” he said.

Uh, what? He should be calming her down instead of saying such things. Obviously she's in some sort of shock after suddenly being released from the darkness.

“Don’t waste your time, tell me your name later,” he smiled, “I’m Riku, you can call me that from now on,” he sat up from the bed and left. At that moment she realized how tall he was. Soon he was gone beyond the door.

I think Riku's rushing the introduction a little. Maybe he thinks she should be left a little alone, but he should at least try and talk to her, be friendly with her. After all, she probably has no idea where she is, and by the looks of it she's been unconscious for some time.

He turned to the girl. “Are you still hungry?”

“No,” she said, hostility was on her sleeves.

“No need to be harsh, that warrior act won’t work on me,” he said.

Warrior act? The poor girl just woke up after a long time being unconscious, she probably has no idea where she is, and for all she knows Riku could be a shady guy wanting to take advantage of her. He comes off as pretty harsh and uncaring here. How does he know the girl just isn't scared out of her wits?

“Nothing. Your name is…” he paused. He looked out the open window and heard a scream once more.

Scream? When did he hear a scream the first time? There hasn't been mention of any scream before this, has it?

“What happened?”

“It’s not for you to know.”

Geez, Riku, good going. Great way of earning this girl's trust, eh?

Riku stopped to examine her, she was strong, he could sense that, but something about her was weak, something about her was in sharp pain, she was hurting. What was hurting her?

Show, don't tell. This raises a lot of questions in my head. How can Riku sense that she's strong? How does he sense it? How is she strong? And how can he sense that she's weak? And if her pain is anything else than her legs, I'd like to know how he knows.

“I want to leave,” she said after length.

“If you can, go,” Riku said.

“You… I want to leave now! Let me go!”

“I’m not holding you here so go, I don’t feel like watching you anyway,” Riku stared out the window.

“Fine!” Terra tried to move and her legs red and sore kept her from doing so.

“I don’t think you noticed that your legs are not well, you’re too ill to just go,” Riku said.

Terra glared at him.

“I told you, that doesn’t work.”

I don't know if this was your intention, but I hate Riku at this point. He's basically keeping her against her will, and is rude to boot.


This went on for weeks before Terra was able to move around the house. But she felt attached to the apartment and never left. Neither did Riku, he spent his time around the kitchen and he spent hours in the shower. Every time he came out wet his hair was still the same, as if he never let the water touch it. Riku always came out with his boxer’s of blue on. Terra learned that he was a lover of blue. Terra’s favorite color was gold and black. Terra didn’t eat with Riku, because she still didn’t trust him.

No wonder she doesn't trust him. This doesn't come off as a healthy relationship at all. Why is she staying with him? And Riku doesn't seem too thrilled about her - doesn't he even try and find out who she is? Why is she staying, if he doesn't care and she's just leeching off his resources? Just because she's "feeling attached"? Didn't she come from somewhere? Doesn't she have any place to call home?

Terra stared into his eyes and realized that he wasn’t the cruel being she thought he was. That moment Terra saw pain in his eyes, and also strength. He too was strong.

I love how characters can see everything about a person just by looking into their eyes. And they are always right, of course.

Stop it. Just show her Riku's strength in some other way than her looking into his eyes.


Then Terra realized that he was the one that saved her all that time ago.

Um, no shit, Sherlock? She's been living with him for weeks, and she didn't even bother to ask? She remembers being saved by a silver-headed guy, and she wakes up in the apartment of a silver-headed guy... and doesn't ask even once? And how does she suddenly know he's the one who saved her?

“Um… thank you,” Terra stood, and grabbed the bottle. She tried not to look inside his eyes any more. She saw something that made her feel weak. Too weak. Terra won fights all the time but now, she felt so weak, he felt as though she couldn’t pick up a sword or even a fist. She pushed by him and went to the counter behind Riku.

“Are you okay?” Riku asked. His voice was soft and it touched her.

“Yeah, I’m fine…” Terra said not looking at him.

How can a voice touch you? I'm seeing some kind of hand extending from Riku's mouth creeping towards her or something. If it was intended to touch her as in feelings, it's badly written. Also, this doesn't quite match up with their relationship thus far.

“I don’t trust you, and where’s my weapon?! Where’s my sword?!” she yelled, she lost control of herself. She paused, what weapon? She didn’t have one, she couldn’t remember anything pass the attack, she knew she won many battles, she knew she was strong, but something didn’t make sense. How could she remember all of this but forget where she came from and her weapon she just yelled about? Terra held her head for a moment.

Okay. So she has amnesia.

Then why the heck doesn't she try and look for her old home? Is she ever outside, or is she just inside the apartment? Why is she staying in the apartment all the time, then?

Your weapon?” Riku asked. “When I found you, you had nothing but a sheet wrapped around you.”
Terra looked up and stared at him.

“I don’t understand!” Terra yelled. With a flash she disappeared beyond the door. Riku chased after her.
“Terra! Terra wait!” Riku chased her and then paused. She was gone, she could have ran in any direction, she could have gone up stairs to the roof, down stairs to the street or down the hall to the stairs that led to an alley. Terra was gone. Riku sighed and closed the door. Then he dashed off to find her. “I gotta find her before she hurts herself again.” He thought.

Running down the street he saw his friend Roxas. Roxas waved to him and stopped him by getting in his way. “What’s your hurry?”

“I have to find her… this girl I was taking care stormed out and ran off. Have you seen her?”
“What’d she look like?”

Riku paused… her skin was like his and her eyes were red. “She has red eyes light skin like mine and long hair.”

“Actually I did, she just came by here, and she dove by and headed to the forest.” Roxas answered.
“Thanks! And tell Sora I’ll see him later!” Riku ran off and waved to Roxas. Riku then understood where she was going. She was going to the last place she remembered. Terra was going to see her memory.

See, this should have happened when she woke up at the beginning. And if she's been living with Riku for weeks, how come Roxas knows nothing about her, if he and Riku are friends? So, did Riku confine her to the apartment or something? Not creepy at all.
 

Zipporahss

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If she's running for her life, why bother keeping the sheet? Especially if it's making her trip.



This is kind of confusing. What's happening? Are trees falling down at random? And it seems as though the dog jumps through the air... and then just gets flung to the side. Or just as it's about to leap, it falls over. It creates a very funny image in my mind.



Again, I'm completely clueless about what's going on. There's a battle? Men falling THROUGH trees? What men? Where did they come from? How does her hearing tell her all this? How does she know it's her "hero" coming, instead of someone else? How does she even know the guy won't harm her? She was in panic just a moment ago, where did it go?

I like how you describe that it feels like years. It's made even stronger when you start the new sentence with "Until one day the familiar feeling of warmth touched her face. Light! She had forgotten what it felt like". It really makes it feel like she was in darkness for very long.




Red eyes? Does she have a disease or bad sight, or is red eyes natural in this story?



Uh, what? He should be calming her down instead of saying such things. Obviously she's in some sort of shock after suddenly being released from the darkness.



I think Riku's rushing the introduction a little. Maybe he thinks she should be left a little alone, but he should at least try and talk to her, be friendly with her. After all, she probably has no idea where she is, and by the looks of it she's been unconscious for some time.



Warrior act? The poor girl just woke up after a long time being unconscious, she probably has no idea where she is, and for all she knows Riku could be a shady guy wanting to take advantage of her. He comes off as pretty harsh and uncaring here. How does he know the girl just isn't scared out of her wits?



Scream? When did he hear a scream the first time? There hasn't been mention of any scream before this, has it?



Geez, Riku, good going. Great way of earning this girl's trust, eh?



Show, don't tell. This raises a lot of questions in my head. How can Riku sense that she's strong? How does he sense it? How is she strong? And how can he sense that she's weak? And if her pain is anything else than her legs, I'd like to know how he knows.



I don't know if this was your intention, but I hate Riku at this point. He's basically keeping her against her will, and is rude to boot.




No wonder she doesn't trust him. This doesn't come off as a healthy relationship at all. Why is she staying with him? And Riku doesn't seem too thrilled about her - doesn't he even try and find out who she is? Why is she staying, if he doesn't care and she's just leeching off his resources? Just because she's "feeling attached"? Didn't she come from somewhere? Doesn't she have any place to call home?



I love how characters can see everything about a person just by looking into their eyes. And they are always right, of course.

Stop it. Just show her Riku's strength in some other way than her looking into his eyes.




Um, no shit, Sherlock? She's been living with him for weeks, and she didn't even bother to ask? She remembers being saved by a silver-headed guy, and she wakes up in the apartment of a silver-headed guy... and doesn't ask even once? And how does she suddenly know he's the one who saved her?



How can a voice touch you? I'm seeing some kind of hand extending from Riku's mouth creeping towards her or something. If it was intended to touch her as in feelings, it's badly written. Also, this doesn't quite match up with their relationship thus far.



Okay. So she has amnesia.

Then why the heck doesn't she try and look for her old home? Is she ever outside, or is she just inside the apartment? Why is she staying in the apartment all the time, then?



See, this should have happened when she woke up at the beginning. And if she's been living with Riku for weeks, how come Roxas knows nothing about her, if he and Riku are friends? So, did Riku confine her to the apartment or something? Not creepy at all.





I knew someone would have a problem with the story... Oh well. You see, Riku is the one attacking the dogs while they are attacking the girl. Also Terra, her name will later change due to the major twist, is hostile, I thought I expressed that... hmm... I gotta work on it.

Yes, red eyes are natural in this world.

Riku was caring for her, He didn't tell anyone, clearly because of the end of the chapter. He watched her until she was able to move around.

I gave Riku a ability to sense pain, actaully people sense it in others, my parents and friends do, by the way a person moves, talks, or acts one could tell what is wrong with a person, for Riku I just enhanced it.

Okay, okay, I get your point, I use the some things too much. Hmm... I knew some people would get confused.

Weeks, yes, Terra and Riku are like brother and sister at this point. I have them more like friends later.
Terra has a memory problem, this was clear when she stormed out of the apartment. And most of her time int he apartment she spent in bed, her legs were sore. Too sore to move, and if you have ever had sore legs you'll know that it hurts a lot.

Are there any other questions? I think I answered them all. But if you have any more just tell me. I have to work on it anyway. I have no problem correcting it.:thumbup:
 

Veriun

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I knew someone would have a problem with the story...

I'm not having a problem with it. It's just some parts that confuse or irritate me. Most of what I "have a problem with" are mistakes very easily made.

Oh well. You see, Riku is the one attacking the dogs while they are attacking the girl. Also Terra, her name will later change due to the major twist, is hostile, I thought I expressed that... hmm... I gotta work on it.

I don't mind her name, really. :)

Riku was caring for her, He didn't tell anyone, clearly because of the end of the chapter. He watched her until she was able to move around.

I still think it's weird why he didn't tell anyone. If she has amnesia, why not make his friends try to find out where she's from? I can understand him wanting to give her some privacy in the beginning, but for weeks?

I gave Riku a ability to sense pain, actaully people sense it in others, my parents and friends do, by the way a person moves, talks, or acts one could tell what is wrong with a person, for Riku I just enhanced it.

It still sounds false. And no matter how you put it, Riku's jumping to conclusions here. How about making him right about her pain, but is wrong about what kind of pain? To take an example, let's say he knows how his friends tend to act if they're depressed, scared-but-don't-want-to-show-it, etc., and he applies this to Terra. Maybe he thinks that oh, since she looks around all the time while talking, she's paranoid. Or she's got to be depressed since she just sits at the table drawing circles with her finger and doesn't say anything. Or she's suicidal because she just so happens to have accidents with scissors all the time.

It's okay to make him sense pain - I know people who do that. However, it would be nice to make him wrong to some degree. If you walk up to a person who looks depressed and tell him/her that you understand, that you're also depressed, what are the chances this person won't look at you strangely and declare you a freak? Riku had just met her when he thought he could sense her pain. He doesn't know anything about her. Make it show.

Weeks, yes, Terra and Riku are like brother and sister at this point.

Really? Never eating together doesn't seem like a brother-sister thing to me. And I don't know what to say about Riku liking blue is the only thing Terra really learns about him in those weeks.

Terra has a memory problem, this was clear when she stormed out of the apartment. And most of her time int he apartment she spent in bed, her legs were sore. Too sore to move, and if you have ever had sore legs you'll know that it hurts a lot.

Yes, I caught that she has amnesia. But sentences like "Terra felt attached to the apartment and never left" make it sound like she was perfectly capable of walking around for a long time. Maybe you could change it to something like "weeks passed before Terra could even walk, and then she got no further than the kitchen". Besides, if I had a memory loss, I would've asked people if they had seen me before or knew about me, so if she was confined to the apartment for weeks, I imagine she would've been eager on going outside for a breath of fresh air.

Are there any other questions? I think I answered them all. But if you have any more just tell me. I have to work on it anyway. I have no problem correcting it.:thumbup:

Eh, now I feel like one of those police officers in really bad movies having an interrogation or something. :p If you just pay attention to what you're writing, it'll work out just fine. You have a good beginning worked out, so I wish you good luck with the rest of the story.
 

Zipporahss

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Well Veriun, I will explain some of what you said in the second or third chapter. I won't say what but the story will take shape. Don't worry, her name will have to change though, people demand it, so I must. I wanted something different, a name I never used before but it'll take a while for a really good one.

So just enjoy the story, any questions just tell me and I'll clarify.
 

Zipporahss

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why won't u name her mai or something

I'm collecting names right now, that sounds nice, but I was thinking something like Crystal, I'm not looking for Japanese names but I love the way the sound. But sad thing is it doesn't matter what her name is now, in the end of the story it won't be her name anymore... darn, I gave it away, but yeah, she'll learn her real name and after that the story will end.

Hm... I like mai though.:thumbup:
 
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Azrael

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I'm collecting names right now, that sounds nice, but I was thinking something like Crystal, I'm not looking for Japanese names but I love the way the sound. But sad thing is it doesn't matter what her name is now, in the end of the story it won't be her name anymore... darn, I gave it away, but yeah, she'll learn her real name and after that the story will end.

Hm... I like mai though.:thumbup:

Mai sounds hawt.

Love the fic
 

Veriun

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Good progress.

And lol @ Veriun, your barrage of questions and apparent confusion did make me chuckle.

I like questioning things. It makes me think. :>

Zipporahss: I like Mai. Crystal sounds... Sue-ish. Maybe I've read too many fanfics where the main characters are named Serenity, Hope, Destiny, etc.

*Looks at previous post* Hey, I have rep now! :eek:hmy:
 

Zipporahss

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Okay, mai it is but..... the by the ending her real name will comes to light, I won't share what the name is but it's in japanese, that's why I didn't want a japanese name. But Mai it is, majority wins!
 

Zipporahss

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Wow, this is a really good story. I saw your story before and really didn't seemed that interested, but now, after reading your chapter, I am quite intrigued. Can't wait for your next update.


Are you on Deviant? That's the only other place I have my work. But all the same I'm glad you liked it! Thank you!
 

Passion

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Is this Riku and Mai all over again?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Edit:
Oh so this was Riku and Mai BEFORE it became Riku and Mai
Lol
 

sassysis10

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This was really good. I liked how you started out with an action scene to capture the attention of your readers. I'm going to go read the second chapter :)
 
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