Kingdom Hearts Short Fic R&R much appreciated



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I loved it <3 Each scene was short, but to the point. I wish he could've gotten moments like that in Days. Where the other members got spotlighted, instead of constantly focusing on RAX. But, this story can help me imagine what that would've been like. As for criticism. A little more detail could've been used, and there were a few placed where you missed commas. But other than that it was a lovely story.
 

FangirlfromHell

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I loved it <3 Each scene was short, but to the point. I wish he could've gotten moments like that in Days. Where the other members got spotlighted, instead of constantly focusing on RAX. But, this story can help me imagine what that would've been like. As for criticism. A little more detail could've been used, and there were a few placed where you missed commas. But other than that it was a lovely story.
Thank you so much! It makes my day to know that you enjoyed it. You're not wrong about the need for detail, I just don't know where to add it most. I kind of want to expand on this. I think my favorite part was Vexen's moment with Xemnas. It was fun to write Vexen's shift in mood. I'm thinking maybe doing a version with the rest of the apprentices as well. I have this image in my head of either Dilan or Aeleus lugging a dazed Apprentinort over their shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
 

KingdomKey

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This was absolutely adorable. It melts my heart. Even fits the fatherly figure quite well. I actually like it for how it is. I can't think of a way to give criticism because, it felt perfect in my eyes despite how short it was. I really enjoyed reading it. I think the details you gave were enough, but yeah, I like that everyone within the story has a happy ending. I was truly surprised by Vanitas appearance. Or even Terra having a fond moment for Even and Braig like that. It certainly warms my heart.
 

FangirlfromHell

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This was absolutely adorable. It melts my heart. Even fits the fatherly figure quite well. I actually like it for how it is. I can't think of a way to give criticism because, it felt perfect in my eyes despite how short it was. I really enjoyed reading it. I think the details you gave were enough, but yeah, I like that everyone within the story has a happy ending. I was truly surprised by Vanitas appearance. Or even Terra having a fond moment for Even and Braig like that. It certainly warms my heart.
I still think I need a segment where someone that is physically able to lift him lugs Terra/Xemnas/Apprentinort(one of em) around like a sack of potatoes. Just the idea makes me grin. As for the point you bring up I couldn't help it. For so long my cousin and I RP'd where Even was also the Radiant Garden primary doctor so a soft spot developed. Braig, well I can't really hate him. I like the idea that he did have a tiny bit of guilt and grew fond of Terra/Apprentinort enough that they had legendary prank wars and a few moments where Braig was that 'weird uncle' who'd ruffle your hair while trying to awkwardly search for a way to make a tense emotional situation light so he wouldn't have to deal with it. Might work from that now actually XD. It means so much to see others enjoy my work.

I just hope one day my Kingdom Hearts works will get as well-written (in my opinion) as my Final Fantasy XII stories.
 
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