makes somes jokes!
what happens to a jew with a boner runs into a wall?
he breaks his nose.
what happens to a jew with a boner runs into a wall?
he breaks his nose.
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Jokes
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nothing good, but
A man goes into a sperm bank and says, "I'd like to make a deposit please."
The doctor says, "Go and fill this up," and gives the man a bottle.
Three days later the man returns to the sperm bank, marches into the doctor's office and says,
"I've tried with my left hand and tried with my right hand. My wife has tried with her left hand and her right hand. My mother-in-law has tried with a rubber glove on and even took her teeth out and tried with her mouth, AND NONE OF US CAN GET THE TOP OFF THAT BOTTLE!"
A man goes into a sperm bank and says, "I'd like to make a deposit please."
The doctor says, "Go and fill this up," and gives the man a bottle.
Three days later the man returns to the sperm bank, marches into the doctor's office and says,
"I've tried with my left hand and tried with my right hand. My wife has tried with her left hand and her right hand. My mother-in-law has tried with a rubber glove on and even took her teeth out and tried with her mouth, AND NONE OF US CAN GET THE TOP OFF THAT BOTTLE!"
Q: Why don't women carry umbrellas?
A: Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen!
Q: Why do they have palm trees in Compton?
A: Public transportation!
huuurrrrr
A: Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen!
Q: Why do they have palm trees in Compton?
A: Public transportation!
huuurrrrr
Squirrel Kickin'' Back
Q: Why did the squirrel lay on its stomach?
A: To keep its nuts warm.
keep reading this one til the end
So Cultured!
A Greek and an Italian were drinking coffee one day discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon".
Arching his eyebrows the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics." The Italian, nodding in agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."
Q: Why did the squirrel lay on its stomach?
A: To keep its nuts warm.
keep reading this one til the end
So Cultured!
A Greek and an Italian were drinking coffee one day discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon".
Arching his eyebrows the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics." The Italian, nodding in agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."
T
Tyler Durden
Guest
what do you tell a woman with two black eyes
nothing she's already been told twice
nothing she's already been told twice
Joke for people from the UK or Americans who could be bothered to find out what a chav is.
Question: If a chav's in a car with no loud music blaring from the speakers, what kind of car is it?
Answer: A police car
Question: If a chav's in a car with no loud music blaring from the speakers, what kind of car is it?
Answer: A police car
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One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.
"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."
Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies
"**** me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"
"You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."
Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
"Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies
"**** me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"
why is 6 afraid of 7?
because EIGHT NINE TEN
because EIGHT NINE TEN
http://forums.khinsider.com/forum-insanity/103764-gamming-jokes-gamers.html
Q: What is the difference between a female and a chicken coop?
A: The chicken coop doesn't scream when you put a cock in it
ANIME JOKES
Q: Where does Kagome clean her clothes?
A: Inu-washa.
Q: What is Shippo's web browser of choice?
A: Mozilla Foxfire
Bulma talking to Vegata - "You're only half the man Vegito is!"
Q: What did Luke say to Han Solo when it was his turn?
A: Go, han.
So Light (as L) is on the phone talking to Near. Near realizes that this isn't L that he is speaking to, and says "You aren't L, what happened to him, and where is the real L?"
Light replies, "The real L is dead, but I am his replacement."
After Near gets off the phone he shakes his head and says to himself, "It truely is a shame that L has died, but at least I now know who Kira is. All is L that ends L."
Q: What is the Dai-Gurren Brigade's favorite drinks?
A: Burning spirits
Q: What does a japanese boxer do when he is going into anaphylactic shock?
A: He administers Hajime no Ippo-nephrine
Q: What is the difference between a female and a chicken coop?
A: The chicken coop doesn't scream when you put a cock in it
ANIME JOKES
Q: Where does Kagome clean her clothes?
A: Inu-washa.
Q: What is Shippo's web browser of choice?
A: Mozilla Foxfire
Bulma talking to Vegata - "You're only half the man Vegito is!"
Q: What did Luke say to Han Solo when it was his turn?
A: Go, han.
So Light (as L) is on the phone talking to Near. Near realizes that this isn't L that he is speaking to, and says "You aren't L, what happened to him, and where is the real L?"
Light replies, "The real L is dead, but I am his replacement."
After Near gets off the phone he shakes his head and says to himself, "It truely is a shame that L has died, but at least I now know who Kira is. All is L that ends L."
Q: What is the Dai-Gurren Brigade's favorite drinks?
A: Burning spirits
Q: What does a japanese boxer do when he is going into anaphylactic shock?
A: He administers Hajime no Ippo-nephrine
ahahaha
western cartoons
ahhahhahahahhhhahahhaha
ahhahhahahahhhhahahhaha
ahahahahaha
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Oh god, i had to turn away from the computer because I was laughing for five minutes. I think I cried a little. It's one of those things so ridiculous that you can't help but laugh at.
I hate myself for having not posted that.
Best one so far.
What do you get when you mix gasoline and a match?
An ambulance call at the nursing home.
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