Is it very common for 2 childhood friends to fall in love with each other?

[SquareDisney]

So is it very common for 2 people who have been friends with each other since they were little children to fall in love with each other as either teenagers or adults?

The whole "childhood friends becoming more than friends" thing happens a lot in movies, TV shows, books, and video games, but does it also happen a lot in real life too?

I personally never knew any romantic couple that have been friends with each other since childhood. So I wonder how common it actually is.

 

[TheMostRad]

It definitely does happen in real life, and my brothers and I are living proof. My parents have been married for 30 years and have know each other since they were kids. They went to the same middle and high school, and were friends to a point where they both dated each others siblings before dating each other (that is, my mom dated my dad's brother for a short while, and my dad took my mom's sister on a couple of dates - My last initial is L, but it sure as heck isn't for "Lannister").

So yeah. It's definitely not the main way folks are meeting each other, but it definitely happens. It's a popular trope in movies and shows because that makes for an easy foundation for romance.

 

[SquareDisney]

It definitely does happen in real life, and my brothers and I are living proof. My parents have been married for 30 years and have know each other since they were kids. They went to the same middle and high school, and were friends to a point where they both dated each others siblings before dating each other (that is, my mom dated my dad's brother for a short while, and my dad took my mom's sister on a couple of dates - My last initial is L, but it sure as heck isn't for "Lannister").

So yeah. It's definitely not the main way folks are meeting each other, but it definitely happens. It's a popular trope in movies and shows because that makes for an easy foundation for romance.

No offense, but your parents are somewhat odd because not many people would date someone that dated their sibling.

 

[BrightZA]

My sister just married her childhood friend

 

[Grono]

Ugh, absolutely. I'm pretty infamous in my friend group from high school for having dated/had a crush on every girl that I hung out with xD I think I've only had one relationship with a girl that I didn't already know for several years beforehand, and I've only asked 2 girls out that didn't go to high school with me, so you could guess how closely knit those types of relationships were!

 

[A]

In small towns probably uncommon but in big cities this is rare. I know only of 1 couple in my graduating High-school that are together still till this day. This is also assuming that these people stay together throughout the course of their life, most high-school sweet hearts end up falling apart around their mid 30's.

 

[SquareDisney]

In small towns probably uncommon but in big cities this is rare. I know only of 1 couple in my graduating High-school that are together still till this day. This is also assuming that these people stay together throughout the course of their life, most high-school sweet hearts end up falling apart around their mid 30's.

You know, when compared to couples who have been friends with each other since they were either teenagers (ages from 13 years old to 19 years old) or adults (ages from 20 years old to upwards), it does seem that couples who have been friends with each other since they were children (ages from 12 years old to downwards) are in the minority.

So childhood friend couples actually seem pretty rare when compared to couples who met as either teenagers or adults, and I wonder why that is.

 

[TheMostRad]

So childhood friend couples actually seem pretty rare when compared to couples who met as either teenagers or adults, and I wonder why that is.

I don't think there's any particular sociological phenomenon behind it or anything like that, I think it's just a matter of how our lives end up playing out, and that's dependent on the nigh-infinite number of factors that influence how we grow and the decisions we make.

 

[Shinjuku]

No it's not, but anything is possible, and really the best possible chance of that happening is you moving to remote island/country part of U.S like Montana or South Dakota where there are small communities. Even places like Africa or South America in small villages you have a better chance of that happening than in larger cities.

Reason being people are different in larger cities it's all about instant gratification even in my medium size town having something like that is rare.

If I'd stayed in a town far removed from a major city you're probably be able to have the chance of that happening. Which is why I mentioned something like Montana or South Dakota.

 

[The Conquerer]

I see it happen every now and then. It could mean it's rare or it kinda just happens. Sometimes, it might work best between folk who grew up together, in some instances it might not.

 

[Nayru's Love]

It's usually more common for older people to have married that way, back in a world with less developed communication and transportation. People who stay within their field of vision tend to settle for the people they have around them, whereas those who are more social, such as those living in densely populated areas, will date differently because they have the luxury to be more selective. Through dating apps, one's selection pool grows dramatically, even in rural areas.

It more or less boils down to how selective people want to be, and that today's world has a much bigger menu for the average person. As for whether or not there's a correlation between selectivity and a greater sense of fulfillment...Well, that's a different story.

 

[Deleted member 246005]

It's probably less than 50%.

The world is pretty big and people drift apart. I think college/high school sweethearts are probably the new "childhood romance" ideal.

 

[Shinjuku]

It's probably less than 50%.

The world is pretty big and people drift apart. I think college/high school sweethearts are probably the new "childhood romance" ideal.

Not even anymore that was a 80/90 maybe a bit of early 2000 kind of thing. Because the world has become interconnected so much I doubt you see these childhood romance type deals break out.

The only way it happens now if you're in America or countries like it you live in a small town, and that's the best bet.

 

[NovaDragon]

While it is very rare, some people have fell in love with their childhood friend and married them, but they are a minority compared to the married couples who first met each other as adults.
The whole "falling in love with your childhood friend thing" does happen a lot in Anime/Manga and other forms of fiction, but it rarely actually happens in real life.

The Westermarck effect, also known as reverse sexual imprinting, is a psychological hypothesis that people who live in close domestic proximity during the first few years of their lives become desensitized to sexual attraction.

Here's the Wikipedia page about the Westermarck effect: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westermarck_effect

So basically, If you knew someone before age 10 & were consistently around them, there is often an effect on your brain where you’ll associate them as a sibling. You simply won’t be attracted to them. There are a few small Jewish communities in Israel that raise children collectively & are having issues with people not marrying within the immediate community due to not being attracted to people they were raised with.

 

[Gianicky]

in my life it happened only with one of my acquaintances.

 

[NovaDragon]

I don’t know anyone who married someone who was a childhood friend. People I know who have opposite sex friends from childhood think of them as siblings and the thought of being romantic literally makes them feel sick.

 

[Ulmer White]

There have been several times in my life and all of them were failures. It was a period of my growing up when I read sentimental books and was a very sentimental person myself. I read a lot of articles here about love, falling in love, and being loved. I read books that dealt with different aspects of love. That is what influenced me to fall in love with my close friends.

 

[Isa331]

I had many friends dated their childhood friend, but none of them get married. I guess falling in love is not uncommon but being together for the rest of the life is not as easy