Help/Support ► Im 20 years old...the basics of women
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Goodies...?
Anyways, I've always had trouble conversing, not only with girls but with just about everyone. I guess the one tip I can give you is that when you want to say something, say it. If you constantly keep everything in your head, no one will ever know who you are.
People often give you specific advice on what to do around someone sexually attractive for you.
Let's try a scenario: Someone you like approaches you. Do you start a conversation with a joke or present a formal greeting?
My best advice: "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." What does that mean? Don't think, act. Just do it. What is "it"? I don't know, you tell me, it's different for each person. If you can let go of your self conscious nature, you can (as cheesy as it sounds) be yourself without having to worry about the consequences.
Who cares if she denies you or, worse, makes fun of you? Letting it get to you is the worst that could happen.
So don't go around looking for all of this self help advice. Just let things happen.
Let's try a scenario: Someone you like approaches you. Do you start a conversation with a joke or present a formal greeting?
My best advice: "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." What does that mean? Don't think, act. Just do it. What is "it"? I don't know, you tell me, it's different for each person. If you can let go of your self conscious nature, you can (as cheesy as it sounds) be yourself without having to worry about the consequences.
Who cares if she denies you or, worse, makes fun of you? Letting it get to you is the worst that could happen.
So don't go around looking for all of this self help advice. Just let things happen.
Thank you everyone for the advice. This is a good community.
This quoted advice is original though, never heard it put like that before in that precise way. I think its sort of smart.
Great advice all around guys, thank you.
I think I am going to draw random women at college.
If you're thinking of doing an 'eanie-meanie-miny-moe' thing, I wouldn't. Sure it'll let you decided which girl to go after, but if things get serious and the girl eventually discovers you just picked her randomly, it could start trouble.
I'd just talk to a girl you find attractive, see how that goes. If it doesn't go, try someone else.
I got made fun of today because I asked a question in basic algebra, for me it was unrefreshed in mind, to everyone else it appeared to be review. I got scoffed at and mocked. Comments were made about me , and I was made fun of.
No one in the class takes the pace of the class seriously or the teacher who is from Russia and has a hard time , no one respects the class , and they degrade what we learn. I am horrible at math, I have not done it in years either. So I asked a question and I was made fun of.
I tried to ask it confidently , I sat up in my seat folded my hands and tied to sit up mostly straight but to also rest my arm . People laughed at me and or the teacher or just one mainly of both throughout. At first I asked a question , followed by my explanation and more questions . I tried to explain it, the problem and how it is done, I was just reviewing it all , but after the professor did not understand me and went off on a tangent , a long long tangent. He is from Russia does not know English well.
So I finally mustered the will to speak up in class, but its in a class that everyone will make fun of me if I speak up in it. I need to sometimes as my math sucks. People around me, and maybe not the whole class but quite a few made fun of me.
I have a learning disability and I can be drifty my parents think that I am special , and so I am used to being embarassed to an extent but it doesn''t feel good.
I did not turn red , or act timid throughout though, while on the spot I tried to maintain confidence, self respect.
This class and teacher is mocked laughed at every day so I knew that I was in for a rude mockery if I asked a question but I did it anyways.
No one in the class takes the pace of the class seriously or the teacher who is from Russia and has a hard time , no one respects the class , and they degrade what we learn. I am horrible at math, I have not done it in years either. So I asked a question and I was made fun of.
I tried to ask it confidently , I sat up in my seat folded my hands and tied to sit up mostly straight but to also rest my arm . People laughed at me and or the teacher or just one mainly of both throughout. At first I asked a question , followed by my explanation and more questions . I tried to explain it, the problem and how it is done, I was just reviewing it all , but after the professor did not understand me and went off on a tangent , a long long tangent. He is from Russia does not know English well.
So I finally mustered the will to speak up in class, but its in a class that everyone will make fun of me if I speak up in it. I need to sometimes as my math sucks. People around me, and maybe not the whole class but quite a few made fun of me.
I have a learning disability and I can be drifty my parents think that I am special , and so I am used to being embarassed to an extent but it doesn''t feel good.
I did not turn red , or act timid throughout though, while on the spot I tried to maintain confidence, self respect.
This class and teacher is mocked laughed at every day so I knew that I was in for a rude mockery if I asked a question but I did it anyways.
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Re: Having trouble ....not the average probllem. My case is different than the norm c
Hmm...taking in all this information so far:
1. Just treat the girl as a normal person like she's one of your friends or have the friend of yours (who's a girl preferably) introduce you to the girl you are interested in or whatever.
2. I know you don't want to smile but do it but don't smile too big as if you wanna scare them. Just slowly smile a smile!
3.Try to control your thoughts and get yourself together and think about it before you approach the person if you known them and etc. and or meet up with them.
4. When a girl looks at you. It COULD and I mean COULD, like a maybe COULD means she likes you. If she stares at you alot, she can probably like you alot or think your handsome--if that's the case, way to go! And just approach her if you can.
5. For shyness, just talk to your friends or anybody else about it and ask them for what to do and so forth--aside from us but also just be yourself, calm and natural (or try to be), and try to find out what she likes while starting a conversation if you can manage with a friendly hello or hey.
Hope this helps, so that's what I got at the moment. Keep us updated though.
Hmm...taking in all this information so far:
1. Just treat the girl as a normal person like she's one of your friends or have the friend of yours (who's a girl preferably) introduce you to the girl you are interested in or whatever.
2. I know you don't want to smile but do it but don't smile too big as if you wanna scare them. Just slowly smile a smile!
3.Try to control your thoughts and get yourself together and think about it before you approach the person if you known them and etc. and or meet up with them.
4. When a girl looks at you. It COULD and I mean COULD, like a maybe COULD means she likes you. If she stares at you alot, she can probably like you alot or think your handsome--if that's the case, way to go! And just approach her if you can.
5. For shyness, just talk to your friends or anybody else about it and ask them for what to do and so forth--aside from us but also just be yourself, calm and natural (or try to be), and try to find out what she likes while starting a conversation if you can manage with a friendly hello or hey.
Hope this helps, so that's what I got at the moment. Keep us updated though.
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Re: Having trouble ....not the average probllem. My case is different than the norm c
If you know that the girl is interested in you and you're interested in her, why wouldn't you start up a conversation? From there, maybe you'll discover that you have a lot in common and you get along great or maybe you'll discover that she's a complete bitch and you'd prefer to never speak to her again. Either way, you're not going to see any results unless you step up to the plate. As cliche as it sounds, trying and failing is far better than never trying at all.
Is she attractive? Does something about her appeal to you? Do you doubt that she'll ever try to cut your penis off while you're asleep and throw it out of the window of a moving vehicle? Then yes, ****ing approach her.
Dude, flirting with girls and making friends isn't supposed to be a horrific experience -- if you're not having fun with it, something is wrong with you.
Forgive me for saying this, man, but you're not in ****ing preschool anymore. The days where you handle mutual attraction with a member of the opposite sex by giggling, turning red and avoiding making eye contact are long over. So the answer is "no", that's not what you do, unless you want to look like a goddamn loser.
If you want to talk to her then just ****ing talk to her. She's just a human being, so treat her like one and she's sure to appreciate it.
Finally, remember that the first time you speak to her is not as important as the last. When you first start talking to a woman, you get to decide whether or not you like her. If you don't, you don't continue talking to her. Let's assume that you do like her. Great -- now, everything that you say and do past that point is 1000 times more important than your initial approach.
It all boils down to one thing; be comfortable with yourself. Don't give yourself any reason to be nervous. Confidence is the sexiest thing in the world. It really is.
If you know that the girl is interested in you and you're interested in her, why wouldn't you start up a conversation? From there, maybe you'll discover that you have a lot in common and you get along great or maybe you'll discover that she's a complete bitch and you'd prefer to never speak to her again. Either way, you're not going to see any results unless you step up to the plate. As cliche as it sounds, trying and failing is far better than never trying at all.
Is she attractive? Does something about her appeal to you? Do you doubt that she'll ever try to cut your penis off while you're asleep and throw it out of the window of a moving vehicle? Then yes, ****ing approach her.
Dude, flirting with girls and making friends isn't supposed to be a horrific experience -- if you're not having fun with it, something is wrong with you.
Forgive me for saying this, man, but you're not in ****ing preschool anymore. The days where you handle mutual attraction with a member of the opposite sex by giggling, turning red and avoiding making eye contact are long over. So the answer is "no", that's not what you do, unless you want to look like a goddamn loser.
If you want to talk to her then just ****ing talk to her. She's just a human being, so treat her like one and she's sure to appreciate it.
Finally, remember that the first time you speak to her is not as important as the last. When you first start talking to a woman, you get to decide whether or not you like her. If you don't, you don't continue talking to her. Let's assume that you do like her. Great -- now, everything that you say and do past that point is 1000 times more important than your initial approach.
It all boils down to one thing; be comfortable with yourself. Don't give yourself any reason to be nervous. Confidence is the sexiest thing in the world. It really is.
You know, I've never had such problems with girls. I'm usually right up there on the front lines with the opposite sex. Never once do I doubt myself or turtle. Those are the two worst things you could possibly do when it comes to women; do not ever turtle. It's almost imediatly apparent you have no self confidence what so ever and that will kill any attraction women will have towards you.
And if it doesn't, she obviously has a thing about submissive men and if you're willing to take the role of number two, then approach her and just start talking. Who knows? Maybe you'll find things easier when it's the girl in charge. This helped me in my first real relationship. After my time with my first ended, I suddenly had this huge confidence boost. Next thing I knew, I was 'on top' as it were in my relationships.
Now, as for advice... Whenever you see a girl who you think might be interested, just approach her as you would a friend. Don't approach her with the idea that you're looking for somebody. ( This I cannot stress enough. ) Just come to her with a nice friendly smile and ask her name. Focus on her eyes, no one loves a miscreant. When she replies, ask her how she is. Whatever her reply is, take it from there. Just have a nice simple conversation with her.
So many guys seem to have their eyes on nabbing that one girl on the first swoop. I find this silly because it just DOESN'T happen. There has to be some initial connection between you and the women. This could be thirty minutes of talking about any interests you share. This could be years of spending time with your best friend. It does't matter.
Now if you want some casual sex, now that's a whole different story...
And if it doesn't, she obviously has a thing about submissive men and if you're willing to take the role of number two, then approach her and just start talking. Who knows? Maybe you'll find things easier when it's the girl in charge. This helped me in my first real relationship. After my time with my first ended, I suddenly had this huge confidence boost. Next thing I knew, I was 'on top' as it were in my relationships.
Now, as for advice... Whenever you see a girl who you think might be interested, just approach her as you would a friend. Don't approach her with the idea that you're looking for somebody. ( This I cannot stress enough. ) Just come to her with a nice friendly smile and ask her name. Focus on her eyes, no one loves a miscreant. When she replies, ask her how she is. Whatever her reply is, take it from there. Just have a nice simple conversation with her.
So many guys seem to have their eyes on nabbing that one girl on the first swoop. I find this silly because it just DOESN'T happen. There has to be some initial connection between you and the women. This could be thirty minutes of talking about any interests you share. This could be years of spending time with your best friend. It does't matter.
Now if you want some casual sex, now that's a whole different story...
Yeah by the sound of it you're thinking too much. Don't over-analyse. Especially your movements. Do what feels natural. If you can't give off the impression that you don't care, then at least pretend to, and it'll probably come naturally.
Thanks again guys, my situation is complicated , but I have opportunities at college. I think I am going to go for it. I just quit my main forum, and I am trying to do more regular social behaviors now.
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