Help/Support ► I feel like giving up

[Memory Master]

I've been having alot of trouble with college this year. This is my first year in college and things have been kind of up and down. I'm majoring in political science and when it comes to my history classes, my philosophy class last semester, and my political science classes, I do really really well, better than most of the other students, though I admit i'm a political junky. I just really enjoy politics and history.

But as with any other major I have to take algebra and english classes and there is my problem. I have always sucked at algebra. English i've been average in through out highschool. In college i've struggled with it alot more than I thought I would.

So let me explain a little about my personality and then about where the problems in college started and see if anyone can point out some problems and help me.

I've always been a deep thinker, even when I was a kid. I can remember watching anime as a kid and while I enjoyed the fighting and action of course, what I enjoyed more was the human qualities of the characters as well as the historical and symbolic inspiration that was incoporated in the story.

As I got older I continued to ponder deeply about subjects I found interesting. This is probably where my love of history and politics arose from.

So let me cut to the point here. I originally wanted to take a year off after highschool before going into college but everyone was telling me had to go as soon as possible so I did. On top of that everyone wanted me to take as many classes as I could so stupid me I took five classes instead of the required four. Needless to say I was overworked.

I struggled in my English Composition I class the first semester because I was not expecting there to be so many rules to writing. I figured it would be a more creative class but instead it was nothing but rules rules rules that stiffled any creativity. As a deeper thinker this simply was not my style. I prefer to just let my ideas flow out on paper. So the rules made it incredibly tedious to write and I lost interest so my work suffered.

I ended up failing my english class the first semester.

Then there was my Algebra class. I was placed in an Elementary Algebra class and even in there I was struggling. Numbers are in my view dead things, they lack life or personality so I just find them rather dull. The formulas and designs for arriving at their solution are in my opinion too complex with they simply don't have to be. My algebra teacher even told the class that the most common question she is asked by new students is "When will I ever use this in my life?" and she answers by saying, "Unless you're planning to work at NASA, you'll probably never use this." So right off the bat i'm wondering why the heck am I wasting my time learning this when it is simply useless to me and I could be spending this time on something enjoyable or something constructive to my future?

So I failed my algebra class the first semester. But I passed my American Government, Philosophy, and Computers class.

So this semester I decided to take only four classes. A history class which i'm doing excellent in, and a political science class where i'm doing just as well. I am retaking my Composition I class and my Algebra class, and at first I was doing really well in them. I got an excellent grade on my first essay and my first Algebra test.

Now i'm on spring break and I checked my college account and found out my barely passed my second algebra test and most likely my second essay isn't going to be too great either. So once again it looks like these two classes will be the ones to bring me down.

I'm one of those people who when I try hard at something and try do the best I can and then fail I take it hard and already I can feel the anxiety building up. As a deep thinker i'm wondering why am I taking classes that have nothing to do with political science? If I was taking only the classes that actually deal with the career i'm majoring in then I would be doing great in college. I'm a smart guy when it comes to political science and history, but my paper work wont reflect that because of those classes that i'm simply not interested in.

Then of course if I actually take an interest in math and english I know what will happen, i'll end up losing interest in history and political science and i'll become almost a completely different person and that is scary.

And all of this just makes me so angry and when i'm angry, I mean I become a vengeful Son of a B%tch.

Basically let me try to explain what is going through my head right now. I'm worried i'll fail college, this wont look good to an employer, i'll end up becoming less than what I want to be (Which is working in government or in the political realm and maybe even running for office one day) and to think I may have to settle for less angers me. So in my mind i'm already thinking that my only solution is to abandon my moral values and just cheat my way through life so I can get where I want to be. If the damn college wont recognize my interest and excellence in history and politics then i'll just force my way to the top throught whatever means I must.

I'm actually starting to think that maybe I should stop following this whole idea of being a good person. I've always been the Mr. Rules guy that looks at people who disobey the rules and think in my head, "People like that shouldn't live" I mean I know that is bad but its true, that is really what comes to my mind sometimes. But now i'm wondering maybe i'd be better off just being a bad person and cheating my way through life. Sometimes I even feel like I never belonged on the side of good to begin with, maybe I'm meant to be a bad person. I really just don't know what to think of myself these days.

I just I really really don't know what to do. I'm really at a loss here and I need some help, some advice because I really feel trapped.

 

[Nyangoro]

Yes, English Composition involves the rules of writing and how to set up things (mostly in an academic sense). It's called "composition" for a reason. Even in a Creative Writing class, you can expect to find rules that you need to follow, because syntax is a very important aspect of language (knowing how to set up academic papers is also important, especially for a political science major, I would think).

Naturally, Algebra is a series of rules/patterns that you use to find a solution to a problem. While Algebra itself might not be useful to you, the problem solving experience most certainly would be. Not to mention that "knowledge for the sake of knowledge" is a pretty good thing to invest in, if you ask me.

Regardless of the specifics of the class, what I think we've got here is a situation where you need to motivate yourself. I'm going to be completely blunt about this: To only do well in what you are interested in and to fail at the things you aren't interested in is pretty childish. It's one thing if you were in a major that was completely wrong for you, but in your situation, I just can't see it any other way. The fact that you did well when you started retaking the classes only solidifies that notion. You need to understand that there are things you have to do, not just things you want to do. It's obvious that you can do it, otherwise you wouldn't have done well at the start of the semester; but for those classes that you struggle with/aren't up your alley, you have to devote that extra time and energy into in order to see the necessary results. If the amount you've put in so far isn't working, then you need to put in more (again, because you've already shown that your capable by doing well at the beginning of the semester).

That's really all there is to it.

And let me just say that resorting to being the "bad person" is just running away. Plain and simple.

 

[Wehrmacht]

Regardless of the specifics of the class, what I think we've got here is a situation where you need to motivate yourself. I'm going to be completely blunt about this: To only do well in what you are interested in and to fail at the things you aren't interested in is pretty childish.

Yeah, to be honest, this was part of the reason why I quit my last major (amongst other personal problems), and I now sort of regret it because I know I could have done better especially considering how lax my schedule was. Unfortunately there will always be things you aren't interested in/aren't very good at but with enough study and time you can get through them. Regardless of your personal opinion about the subjects and your own ideas about how things should be, you don't decide how the world works and it seems like you don't know too much about it either, so you will just have to suck it up and work harder (your statements about mathematics display this well enough, mathematics is one of the most important problem-solving tools for humanity in a wide variety of fields). It will be unpleasant obviously, but you have to think about the future and how your work will eventually pay off. As you get deeper into your major you will start getting more classes that are relevant to you and you will not have to struggle as much. If you can't even get through the first semester cleanly then this major isn't for you, and with that attitude you will have difficulty progressing in any major at all.

Also you probably need to see a therapist or something because it seems like you have deeper issues to work through ' 3'

 

[scubasteve]

stop calling yourself a deep thinker

 

[Memory Master]

I understand what you guys are saying. If I play by the rules and suffer through it then things will be fine. To me it still seems like taking classes that don't relate to my major is a waste of time but okay. What i'm really wanting to know is, if I end up failing a class this semester my student aid will stop and i'll have to drop out of college on academic probation for a year (I believe it is a year and not a semester but I may be wrong on that). So what i'm wondering is what do I do then? I really don't think i'm ever going to get through this math or present an essay that my professor will like. What does someone do if they mess up that bad? Isn't it basically a trip to the welfare office and a live as a low class citizen? I'm serious, I don't know what to expect or do if things get messed up here.

 

[Nyangoro]

Well, if financial aid is how you pay for college, and assuming you can't get financial aid if you fail two classes this semester (seriously, stop treating it like you've already failed), then you'll probably have to drop out of college for the time being. You'll have to get a job, make some money, then go back to college when you are able. I don't know what your family situation is, but if you really need to, you might have to seek the help of some program.

But again, you haven't failed those classes yet. If you are planning on getting into politics, you should probably work on that defeatist attitude.

 

[Taylor]

cheat through life.


you want to be a fucking politician you're going to start cheating eventually.

 

[Oracle Spockanort]

You pass your fucking classes and get over yourself. Yeah, they seem pointless; doesn't mean you can fail them. We all have to take these stupid classes. You need English Composition for all of your future essay work. Fail that class and you're bound to fail every other class because you can't even pass a class meant to build up your skills.

I'd understand you failing math if your professor was an ass, but from what I can tell she isn't. I failed my algebra class because my teacher was a jerk and couldn't take the time to slow down for us students who were lost, but i also had a full load and a job + financial issues with my school, and a close family death so i was not in the right mental state at that time. Of course, that isn't even an excuse because I could have went to tutoring and therapy provided by the school to help me but I didn't so I take the blame. I managed to pass every other class but that one.

So like I said, get over yourself. Go get a fucking tutor and do whatever the hell it takes to pass your classes. I hate seeing stupid people like you who complain over their classes and freak out they are going to lose their financial aid or feel the school isn't catering to their tastes but don't do shit about it and just continue to complain.

 

[Silh]

I feel like giving up

i won't walk out until you knooooooooooow

 

[JustSnilloc]

I know how you feel TC, I did wait a year before entering college... At first I had no intention of going, but after experiencing the kind of work I get without college I decided I wanted to go (it was tough)

So I get to college and decide I want to be a computer technician (something I'm good at) so I take the classes and being stupid I register for about 7 classes, and get SO INCREDIBLY BEHIND in the first semester that I almost wanted to quit, ALMOST! What had happened was the computer classes took a ridiculous amount of time to complete, so I dropped two, kept going throughout the semester purposely failed another (because I didn't have enough time to do it, but needed the hours for financial aid) and managed to come out of that semester on Financial Aid Probation...

Upon reflecting what had happened that semester I questioned the whole "college for a better job" thing, and decided I still wanted to do it, but I didn't want to do the computer technician thing... It was too stressful, WAY TOO STRESSFUL, so I decided that money wasn't the goal in finding the perfect job, it was finding a job I loved regardless of the money

I changed my major to something I loved the next semester - Music... Since then I've LOVED the classes! I LOVE COLLEGE now! Sure the classes are hard, but I know I'm striving towards something that I'll love doing... I found out I made the ****ing deans list last week! I've never done that well, EVER!!! Point being while I was good at both, when I started towards the one that made less money, yet was far more favorable it just made things easier to deal with...

So for you I might suggest asking yourself if what you're doing is what you really want to do... If you didn't get paid for what you're trying to get a degree for, would you still love it? If so, then that's something worth striving towards...

Some college advice: If you can mix up some hard classes with some easier classes in a semester, it makes the hard classes less so... Never give up on a class, you'll look back at what you did and think yourself an idiot for doing so and 9/10 times you'll tell yourself you could have done better, so DO IT! Sometimes we as people have to struggle to get to a better place

Look, I'm not sure whether you'll read this as positive or negative... it's meant to be positive, but when you're stressed everything looks bad. I'd try and find some de-stressers, don't worry about stuff that you have no control over, and have some fun (somewhere...) fit it in your schedule, as the old saying goes: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

...

As far as not being able to do the work in classes like algebra, find a friend who's good at math, or find a tutor... ask around (I could help you, but it probably wouldn't go so well over the internet) If you're concerned about grades, talk to the teacher (I've actually managed to talk my way into passing classes and upped letter grades) Some teachers care, and others don't... Sometimes the one's that do, will offer to help as well, moral of the paragraph? Don't be ashamed to ask for help...

I'm a pretty smart dude, and I ask questions all the time (because it helps me to learn) I don't always get everything the first time either, I ask for help and people think I'm a genius... My personal belief is that intelligence is irrelevant, paying attention is what matters - and I just pay attention, that's all (grant you I pay attention to EVERYTHING, but over time that creates a pretty large knowledge base)

Finally, don't give up, don't give in, keep your eyes set on your goal and show everyone you're worth something

 

[Nutari]

I've been having alot of trouble with college this year. This is my first year in college and things have been kind of up and down. I'm majoring in political science and when it comes to my history classes, my philosophy class last semester, and my political science classes, I do really really well, better than most of the other students, though I admit i'm a political junky. I just really enjoy politics and history.

But as with any other major I have to take algebra and english classes and there is my problem. I have always sucked at algebra. English i've been average in through out highschool. In college i've struggled with it alot more than I thought I would.

So let me explain a little about my personality and then about where the problems in college started and see if anyone can point out some problems and help me.

I've always been a deep thinker, even when I was a kid. I can remember watching anime as a kid and while I enjoyed the fighting and action of course, what I enjoyed more was the human qualities of the characters as well as the historical and symbolic inspiration that was incoporated in the story.

As I got older I continued to ponder deeply about subjects I found interesting. This is probably where my love of history and politics arose from.

So let me cut to the point here. I originally wanted to take a year off after highschool before going into college but everyone was telling me had to go as soon as possible so I did. On top of that everyone wanted me to take as many classes as I could so stupid me I took five classes instead of the required four. Needless to say I was overworked.

I struggled in my English Composition I class the first semester because I was not expecting there to be so many rules to writing. I figured it would be a more creative class but instead it was nothing but rules rules rules that stiffled any creativity. As a deeper thinker this simply was not my style. I prefer to just let my ideas flow out on paper. So the rules made it incredibly tedious to write and I lost interest so my work suffered.

I ended up failing my english class the first semester.

Then there was my Algebra class. I was placed in an Elementary Algebra class and even in there I was struggling. Numbers are in my view dead things, they lack life or personality so I just find them rather dull. The formulas and designs for arriving at their solution are in my opinion too complex with they simply don't have to be. My algebra teacher even told the class that the most common question she is asked by new students is "When will I ever use this in my life?" and she answers by saying, "Unless you're planning to work at NASA, you'll probably never use this." So right off the bat i'm wondering why the heck am I wasting my time learning this when it is simply useless to me and I could be spending this time on something enjoyable or something constructive to my future?

So I failed my algebra class the first semester. But I passed my American Government, Philosophy, and Computers class.

So this semester I decided to take only four classes. A history class which i'm doing excellent in, and a political science class where i'm doing just as well. I am retaking my Composition I class and my Algebra class, and at first I was doing really well in them. I got an excellent grade on my first essay and my first Algebra test.

Now i'm on spring break and I checked my college account and found out my barely passed my second algebra test and most likely my second essay isn't going to be too great either. So once again it looks like these two classes will be the ones to bring me down.

I'm one of those people who when I try hard at something and try do the best I can and then fail I take it hard and already I can feel the anxiety building up. As a deep thinker i'm wondering why am I taking classes that have nothing to do with political science? If I was taking only the classes that actually deal with the career i'm majoring in then I would be doing great in college. I'm a smart guy when it comes to political science and history, but my paper work wont reflect that because of those classes that i'm simply not interested in.

Then of course if I actually take an interest in math and english I know what will happen, i'll end up losing interest in history and political science and i'll become almost a completely different person and that is scary.

And all of this just makes me so angry and when i'm angry, I mean I become a vengeful Son of a B%tch.

Basically let me try to explain what is going through my head right now. I'm worried i'll fail college, this wont look good to an employer, i'll end up becoming less than what I want to be (Which is working in government or in the political realm and maybe even running for office one day) and to think I may have to settle for less angers me. So in my mind i'm already thinking that my only solution is to abandon my moral values and just cheat my way through life so I can get where I want to be. If the damn college wont recognize my interest and excellence in history and politics then i'll just force my way to the top throught whatever means I must.

I'm actually starting to think that maybe I should stop following this whole idea of being a good person. I've always been the Mr. Rules guy that looks at people who disobey the rules and think in my head, "People like that shouldn't live" I mean I know that is bad but its true, that is really what comes to my mind sometimes. But now i'm wondering maybe i'd be better off just being a bad person and cheating my way through life. Sometimes I even feel like I never belonged on the side of good to begin with, maybe I'm meant to be a bad person. I really just don't know what to think of myself these days.

I just I really really don't know what to do. I'm really at a loss here and I need some help, some advice because I really feel trapped.

I do believe we have talked about this some, my friend. Cling to your beliefs and pray God will get you through. As far as the writing is concerned... rules do suck. I plan on being a Journalist so I will also have them pounded into my skull. A suggestion is to apply these rules to some just for fun writing. Try to challenge yourself and most of all try to enjoy using them. As far as math, I being a music person find a rythm with equations. I like them because they are almost like a symphony of sorts. You start with the basic formula and add numbers into the variables, making it change or grow. This helped me grow into an avid formula user and heck I even enjoy it. Graphs are not my strong suit though

 

[KeyofEvil'sBane]

Let me give you one piece of advice every college student should live by: Use office hours! Seriously, the whole point of office hours is for the professors to basically sit in their office and talk with students, help those who are having trouble understanding, and do everything they can. Even if you aren't struggling yet, but feel that you may in the future, go anyway. Teachers for the most part (unless they are complete dicks) appreciate when students come for help, because it means they actually care about the class and haven't just given up on it. Tutors are also a great resource, or even group study sessions if you can find them. College is full of resources, but you have to use them.

 

[Memory Master]

You guys have all been giving some great advice. I talked with my english teacher and she said she hasn't graded my second essay yet but she would work with me on the current essay i'm working on. I also talked with my algebra teacher and she said as long as I do well on the rest of my test that I can keep my GPA where it needs to be for financial aid and I also got my little sister's homeschool teacher to help me with my algebra.

If it's okay to ask, I do have one more issue related to this that I could use some advice on. After I got all of this help set up for the english and algebra stuff, I come home and almost everyday it seems my grandmother and dad are complaining about something. I'm really trying to do the right thing, i'm going to college when my eldest sister was nothing but a college drop out. Yet I still can't seem to win over my grandmother's respect. I know i'm her grandson and stuff but I just wish she would stop making me feel like i'm destined to fail. Same goes for my dad, he's such a complainer. Seriously he has this whole idea in his head that the world is so hard to get through and life is going to be so hard and blah blah blah and because i'm young that I don't know anything and he knows everything. And sometimes when I talk about one day starting a family and how excited I'll be when I get to hold my first baby one day, he says something like I better make sure I get lots of food stamps. It makes me feel like he has already given up on me.

I'm starting to think I really am nothing. I've always been interested in politics and history and sure I may or may not ever hold elected office but I still love the game of politics and want to work with it, I enjoy it. I always thought once I get out of college and get a job doing what I like that my family would shut up and finally respect me. I've always been a rule guy, a morals first person, I never have drank or done drugs or smoked in my life. Always thought if I follow the rules and do the right thing that i'll be loved and have power of some sort. The more I listen to my grandmother and dad, the more I feel angry inside.

Sometimes I feel like giving up, other times I feel more determined to be a success, and sometimes I feel so resentful that I want to take revenge and just hurt people for doubting me. I just want to get to a point where people look at me and say "He did it right. He is really up there now." and deep down I feel more and more like I want to abuse power and I don't know why I feel like this, well I guess I do, but I'm starting to like how it feels when i'm angry, it is kind of comforting but I guess that is sick.

 

[Muse]

When it comes to school, all you have to do is just suck it up. There's a bunch of pointless classes that are completely unnecessary for what you want to do later in life, but if you suck it up and just get through it, then you'll get to do what you want that much faster instead of having to repeat courses or what.

As for your family, well, sometimes you just have to stop trying to win approval. Stop trying to get their respect. Focus on you and your happiness, making sure that you are happy with yourself and what you've accomplished, and stop trying to get the approval of people who could give less of a shit. Get through college, get a job, and just get somewhere in life, and if that's not good enough for your family, well, so be it. You don't need their approval, and if all they do is make you feel like shit, then just ignore them.

also quit trying to be a supervillain

 

[JustSnilloc]

You guys have all been giving some great advice. I talked with my english teacher and she said she hasn't graded my second essay yet but she would work with me on the current essay i'm working on. I also talked with my algebra teacher and she said as long as I do well on the rest of my test that I can keep my GPA where it needs to be for financial aid and I also got my little sister's homeschool teacher to help me with my algebra.

If it's okay to ask, I do have one more issue related to this that I could use some advice on. After I got all of this help set up for the english and algebra stuff, I come home and almost everyday it seems my grandmother and dad are complaining about something. I'm really trying to do the right thing, i'm going to college when my eldest sister was nothing but a college drop out. Yet I still can't seem to win over my grandmother's respect. I know i'm her grandson and stuff but I just wish she would stop making me feel like i'm destined to fail. Same goes for my dad, he's such a complainer. Seriously he has this whole idea in his head that the world is so hard to get through and life is going to be so hard and blah blah blah and because i'm young that I don't know anything and he knows everything. And sometimes when I talk about one day starting a family and how excited I'll be when I get to hold my first baby one day, he says something like I better make sure I get lots of food stamps. It makes me feel like he has already given up on me.

I'm starting to think I really am nothing. I've always been interested in politics and history and sure I may or may not ever hold elected office but I still love the game of politics and want to work with it, I enjoy it. I always thought once I get out of college and get a job doing what I like that my family would shut up and finally respect me. I've always been a rule guy, a morals first person, I never have drank or done drugs or smoked in my life. Always thought if I follow the rules and do the right thing that i'll be loved and have power of some sort. The more I listen to my grandmother and dad, the more I feel angry inside.

Sometimes I feel like giving up, other times I feel more determined to be a success, and sometimes I feel so resentful that I want to take revenge and just hurt people for doubting me. I just want to get to a point where people look at me and say "He did it right. He is really up there now." and deep down I feel more and more like I want to abuse power and I don't know why I feel like this, well I guess I do, but I'm starting to like how it feels when i'm angry, it is kind of comforting but I guess that is sick.

Again, I feel ya bro... I'm a music major and it feels as if my Mom (my only real parent) hates my decision. She acts as if it's pointless, stupid, blah blah blah, Same with several people at my church (the older men especially) they think I'm worthless and am a disappointment... Believe me, this TORE ME UP. So many people whom I've longed for their respect, who I've looked up to, all of them suddenly think crap of me...

So what did I do? I said to myself "Who is it that determines what value I have?"... "Why is it that their opinions matter so much?"... "I'll prove myself, one person at a time, not by their rules or standards, but they'll see me as me, successful and a person worthy of respect. Just one person at a time"

The last one being what drives me, it's my personal anthem that rings in my head whenever people doubt me... And I WILL prove to everyone what I'm worth (and to quote Naruto) BELIEVE IT!

 

[scubasteve]

just keep being the best damn self you can possibly be

 

[Wehrmacht]

Yet I still can't seem to win over my grandmother's respect. I know i'm her grandson and stuff but I just wish she would stop making me feel like i'm destined to fail. Same goes for my dad, he's such a complainer. Seriously he has this whole idea in his head that the world is so hard to get through and life is going to be so hard and blah blah blah and because i'm young that I don't know anything and he knows everything. And sometimes when I talk about one day starting a family and how excited I'll be when I get to hold my first baby one day, he says something like I better make sure I get lots of food stamps. It makes me feel like he has already given up on me.

I'm starting to think I really am nothing. I've always been interested in politics and history and sure I may or may not ever hold elected office but I still love the game of politics and want to work with it, I enjoy it. I always thought once I get out of college and get a job doing what I like that my family would shut up and finally respect me. I've always been a rule guy, a morals first person, I never have drank or done drugs or smoked in my life. Always thought if I follow the rules and do the right thing that i'll be loved and have power of some sort. The more I listen to my grandmother and dad, the more I feel angry inside.

If they are being so poisonous to your attitude, just ignore them. If they are so hard to please, you shouldn't even try to or even care about pleasing them. It's unfortunate that they think so little of you and your future but you can't let their opinion of you affect your opinion of yourself, because the person that decides your worth is you, not them.

 

[Oracle Spockanort]

Screw trying to please them. You do what you do to make yourself happy. If they can't respect your decisions, don't even try to gain there respect. That is one lesson you have to learn. You can't be doing things to make others happy because they never will. Just keep moving forward.

 

[Solar]

here, have some free inspiration

 

[Theart]

here, have some free inspiration

^ That's some great free inspiration. When all else fails, go to Gurren Lagann for support<3