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They won't ban you for a little caption...
"That night they had mad buttseckz"
<.<;
Fanfiction ► Harry's Potion (another HP fanfic)
- Thread starter Elphaba_1
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They won't ban you for a little caption...
"That night they had mad buttseckz"
<.<;
T_T.....lets see wut my next chapter will be like, k?
*watches as moogles start doing buttsecks*
I must be totally wasted at this bar................Update before it turns out that they are doing that while I'm sober!! lol
I must be totally wasted at this bar................Update before it turns out that they are doing that while I'm sober!! lol
can u wait, i can't do it this week, I'm studting and a competition is coming up
Kay, I understand completely.
*left eye twitches*
*left eye twitches*
.............ALRIGHT FINE!!!! i made a new story for ya, happy?
Chapter 2: Snogging with the enemy (NO THIS IS NOT A SLASH FIC!)
Malfoy? Harry wondered. "What the hell is he doing here?"
"There you are Hermione! Where have you been? I didn't see you at lunch," Draco said, looking quite relieved, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder.
Hermione? Harry thought. He grinned sheepishly, in lack of an expression. Inside his head, his brain was working furiously. Since when did Malfoy call her...Then his eyes widened in horror and his jaw was about to dislocate as he hit the comprehension. He remembered what Hermione told him the other day and since he was with Ron that time, and it wasn't a pretty sight. One side of his brain was swearing so badly and the other side was trying extremely hard not to show his true feelings as the message was processed over and over and over again.
Hermione's boyfriend is...Malfoy! Oh *bleep!*...
Even though Malfoy is his best friend's boyfriend, that still didn't change his feelings towards Malfoy. He was still the same old bloody git that he used to be. The only difference was that he stopped calling Hermione a 'mudblood' and he slightly lessened the insults now that he was ‘in love’.
Malfoy tilted his head. "Hermione, baby, what's wrong? And why is your forehead red?" He brushed his thumb gently on Harry's forehead. Harry resisted the urge to punch him in the guts. He twitched nervously. His muscles worked overtime to try and match the reply he was going to say, and it did seemed quite difficult, considering what situation he was in. Finally he pulled in a smile, well, a rather pained one at that.
"N-nothing... s-sugar muffin." Harry struggled, using those cutesy words girls use on their boyfriends, though quite lamely with his teeth shut together while he tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, something he wasn't used to doing. He felt that he would've rather died by watching Voldemort put on an extremely skimpy red bikini singing ‘Toxic’ while seducing Snape (a/n: AAHHH!!! BRAIN BURN!!! TOO MUCH IMAGINATION!!!) before using ‘sugar muffin’ on Malfoy. If the real Hermione were here, she would have rolled her eyes to the heavens. Malfoy seemed suspicious but decided not to press on.
"So...what are you doing here?" he asked, propping his arm on the door, his eyes travelling inside the room, scanning the cauldron on the table and the potion on the floor. "Uh, what happened in here?" he asked. Harry looked behind him. Sure enough, the potion was all over the room and the cauldron emitted wispy strands of smoke.
"Um, a l-little accident happened when I-I helped...Harry with his potion," he said nervously. It felt odd to say his own name like that; much less being called Hermione. Why can't that git leave? he said mentally, feeling quite exasperated. "So...um...if you don't mind, I-I'll--," he said but Malfoy stopped Harry from closing the door with his arm.
"Say, where is Potter?" he asked. "Where is the-boy-who-lived-to-be-a-git?" Harry's cheeks flushed. But he was Hermione's best friend and in her body. He can't ruin her life, which includes her *bleep!* boyfriend. That is punching the organs out of Malfoy would be worth it...he resisted.
"Oh...um...he went to the b-bathroom," he stuttered, pleading that Malfoy would leave.
Unfortunately, Fate decided to play a little trick. Malfoy smirked and a malicious look flashed in his eyes. Harry gulped as he took a step backward in fear of the look in his eyes, causing Malfoy to follow him. Oh *bleep!*, oh *toot!*, oh *you know the drill*. I'll kill Malfoy when I get back to my body! I swear I'm going to hex him so bad he'll have to eat his food through a straw! he thought, panicking, as he walked backwards. Malfoy pinned his arms on the wall, trapping Hermione or who he thought was Hermione, who was pleading on his life for what he thought would happen would not.
"So, Potter's not here, eh?" Malfoy drawled with a hint of suggestiveness in his tone.
He is here, dingbat! Harry thought with his teeth gritted.
"How about we--"
WE?
"--do a little something--"
No way! Nuh - uh! Not on your life!
"--while he's not here?"
If I'm thinking what I think your thinking, then FORGET IT!
Harry, seeing no other way out, tried. "Um... Mal--Draco, we sh-shouldn't be doing this, you know..." he said weakly. However, he didn't give in. Malfoy smirked again.
"Hermione, we've been doing this in the library ever since," he said. Harry mentally shuddered. He braced himself as Malfoy drew nearer and . . . . he did it.
It started slow and gentle then rough as he got into the mood. Harry sucked in his breath as he pleaded to the Gods to kill Malfoy on the spot. How can the boy who thwarted Voldemort countless times be so vulnerable and stupid in this situation? "Gods, please get me the hell out of here! I'm feeling homosexual right now, AND I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT!" Finally, after a few minutes of...well you know *couchsnoggingcough*...Malfoy stopped and placed on his trademark smirk.
"I hope that was a preview of tonight's activities," he drawled in the tone that scared Harry. With one swift of his robes he was gone, leaving a VERY *I can't think of a word enough to describe what Harry would be feeling right now* Harry.
----------
A very sheepish Hermione came back, only to find a ceaselessly gagging Harry on his knees, clutching his throat, spitting now and then.
"Um...Harry?"
"BLECK!"
"What happened?"
Harry settled down, which seemed rather endless. Though still on both knees, he can speak.
"Your--BLECK--boyfriend--spit--just--BLEAUGH--made out--spit--with--gasp--me!" he spluttered. Hermione didn't know whether to laugh or not. She decided: starting with a chuckle, which quickly turned into boisterous laughter that was so hard it, was almost silent. She collapsed and rolled around the floor, clutching her stomach. Harry stood up, wiping his mouth, and glaring at Hermione.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY, HERMIONE! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF MALFOY STUCK HIS TONGUE DOWN YOUR THROAT? AND YOU KNOW WHAT? HE DID!" Harry bellowed then shivered violently at the mere thought of it.
"THAT WAS THE WORST THING I EVER EXPERIENCED! A-AND HAVE YOU BEEN SNOGGING MALFOY IN THE LIBRARY? BLIMEY, NO WONDER YOU FAILED THE LAST CHARMS TEST AND STILL DIDN'T CARE! I NEED BREATH MINTS!" He yelled all of this in one breath. All Hermione can do is giggle incoherently.
"Oh...my...God..." she gasped in between giggles. Harry breathed heavily, turning ten different shades of red. Taking sympathy on Harry, she conjured a small tin box of Altoids. Harry grabbed the box and dumped every piece of mint in his mouth. Sinking to the floor next to Hermione, he sighed deeply, though his eyes are still twitching. It had been an hour before Hermione finally stopped giggling.
"What did Malfoy mean by 'I hope that was a preview of tonight's activities?" Harry suddenly asked. Hermione snapped out of her reverie and the worried panicked look replaced her face.
"Oh no, I just remembered."
"What?"
"I have a date with...D-Draco," Hermione said faintly. Harry's twitching eyes widened to the size of saucers in horror.
"Uh-uh! NO! No way! I am not going out with Malfoy if that's what you're thinking!" he snapped. And you thought being in another person's body was already enough... Hermione took off her--err, Harry's glasses and rubbed her eyes. Then she thought of an idea that actually helped.
"Let's go see Dumbledore!" she exclaimed. Both stood up so fast and ran to Dumbledore's office, breaking the speed barrier before Hermione stopped Harry first.
"What now?" Harry asked impatiently. Hermione smiled slyly. "Cute boxers, by the way," she said, grinning, then running off; followed by a crimson faced Harry.
Harry you idiot! Why didn't you think of that earlier? Dumbledore! You would've saved yourself from snogging Malfoy! My boxers are cute?
Chapter 2: Snogging with the enemy (NO THIS IS NOT A SLASH FIC!)
Malfoy? Harry wondered. "What the hell is he doing here?"
"There you are Hermione! Where have you been? I didn't see you at lunch," Draco said, looking quite relieved, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder.
Hermione? Harry thought. He grinned sheepishly, in lack of an expression. Inside his head, his brain was working furiously. Since when did Malfoy call her...Then his eyes widened in horror and his jaw was about to dislocate as he hit the comprehension. He remembered what Hermione told him the other day and since he was with Ron that time, and it wasn't a pretty sight. One side of his brain was swearing so badly and the other side was trying extremely hard not to show his true feelings as the message was processed over and over and over again.
Hermione's boyfriend is...Malfoy! Oh *bleep!*...
Even though Malfoy is his best friend's boyfriend, that still didn't change his feelings towards Malfoy. He was still the same old bloody git that he used to be. The only difference was that he stopped calling Hermione a 'mudblood' and he slightly lessened the insults now that he was ‘in love’.
Malfoy tilted his head. "Hermione, baby, what's wrong? And why is your forehead red?" He brushed his thumb gently on Harry's forehead. Harry resisted the urge to punch him in the guts. He twitched nervously. His muscles worked overtime to try and match the reply he was going to say, and it did seemed quite difficult, considering what situation he was in. Finally he pulled in a smile, well, a rather pained one at that.
"N-nothing... s-sugar muffin." Harry struggled, using those cutesy words girls use on their boyfriends, though quite lamely with his teeth shut together while he tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, something he wasn't used to doing. He felt that he would've rather died by watching Voldemort put on an extremely skimpy red bikini singing ‘Toxic’ while seducing Snape (a/n: AAHHH!!! BRAIN BURN!!! TOO MUCH IMAGINATION!!!) before using ‘sugar muffin’ on Malfoy. If the real Hermione were here, she would have rolled her eyes to the heavens. Malfoy seemed suspicious but decided not to press on.
"So...what are you doing here?" he asked, propping his arm on the door, his eyes travelling inside the room, scanning the cauldron on the table and the potion on the floor. "Uh, what happened in here?" he asked. Harry looked behind him. Sure enough, the potion was all over the room and the cauldron emitted wispy strands of smoke.
"Um, a l-little accident happened when I-I helped...Harry with his potion," he said nervously. It felt odd to say his own name like that; much less being called Hermione. Why can't that git leave? he said mentally, feeling quite exasperated. "So...um...if you don't mind, I-I'll--," he said but Malfoy stopped Harry from closing the door with his arm.
"Say, where is Potter?" he asked. "Where is the-boy-who-lived-to-be-a-git?" Harry's cheeks flushed. But he was Hermione's best friend and in her body. He can't ruin her life, which includes her *bleep!* boyfriend. That is punching the organs out of Malfoy would be worth it...he resisted.
"Oh...um...he went to the b-bathroom," he stuttered, pleading that Malfoy would leave.
Unfortunately, Fate decided to play a little trick. Malfoy smirked and a malicious look flashed in his eyes. Harry gulped as he took a step backward in fear of the look in his eyes, causing Malfoy to follow him. Oh *bleep!*, oh *toot!*, oh *you know the drill*. I'll kill Malfoy when I get back to my body! I swear I'm going to hex him so bad he'll have to eat his food through a straw! he thought, panicking, as he walked backwards. Malfoy pinned his arms on the wall, trapping Hermione or who he thought was Hermione, who was pleading on his life for what he thought would happen would not.
"So, Potter's not here, eh?" Malfoy drawled with a hint of suggestiveness in his tone.
He is here, dingbat! Harry thought with his teeth gritted.
"How about we--"
WE?
"--do a little something--"
No way! Nuh - uh! Not on your life!
"--while he's not here?"
If I'm thinking what I think your thinking, then FORGET IT!
Harry, seeing no other way out, tried. "Um... Mal--Draco, we sh-shouldn't be doing this, you know..." he said weakly. However, he didn't give in. Malfoy smirked again.
"Hermione, we've been doing this in the library ever since," he said. Harry mentally shuddered. He braced himself as Malfoy drew nearer and . . . . he did it.
It started slow and gentle then rough as he got into the mood. Harry sucked in his breath as he pleaded to the Gods to kill Malfoy on the spot. How can the boy who thwarted Voldemort countless times be so vulnerable and stupid in this situation? "Gods, please get me the hell out of here! I'm feeling homosexual right now, AND I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT!" Finally, after a few minutes of...well you know *couchsnoggingcough*...Malfoy stopped and placed on his trademark smirk.
"I hope that was a preview of tonight's activities," he drawled in the tone that scared Harry. With one swift of his robes he was gone, leaving a VERY *I can't think of a word enough to describe what Harry would be feeling right now* Harry.
----------
A very sheepish Hermione came back, only to find a ceaselessly gagging Harry on his knees, clutching his throat, spitting now and then.
"Um...Harry?"
"BLECK!"
"What happened?"
Harry settled down, which seemed rather endless. Though still on both knees, he can speak.
"Your--BLECK--boyfriend--spit--just--BLEAUGH--made out--spit--with--gasp--me!" he spluttered. Hermione didn't know whether to laugh or not. She decided: starting with a chuckle, which quickly turned into boisterous laughter that was so hard it, was almost silent. She collapsed and rolled around the floor, clutching her stomach. Harry stood up, wiping his mouth, and glaring at Hermione.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY, HERMIONE! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF MALFOY STUCK HIS TONGUE DOWN YOUR THROAT? AND YOU KNOW WHAT? HE DID!" Harry bellowed then shivered violently at the mere thought of it.
"THAT WAS THE WORST THING I EVER EXPERIENCED! A-AND HAVE YOU BEEN SNOGGING MALFOY IN THE LIBRARY? BLIMEY, NO WONDER YOU FAILED THE LAST CHARMS TEST AND STILL DIDN'T CARE! I NEED BREATH MINTS!" He yelled all of this in one breath. All Hermione can do is giggle incoherently.
"Oh...my...God..." she gasped in between giggles. Harry breathed heavily, turning ten different shades of red. Taking sympathy on Harry, she conjured a small tin box of Altoids. Harry grabbed the box and dumped every piece of mint in his mouth. Sinking to the floor next to Hermione, he sighed deeply, though his eyes are still twitching. It had been an hour before Hermione finally stopped giggling.
"What did Malfoy mean by 'I hope that was a preview of tonight's activities?" Harry suddenly asked. Hermione snapped out of her reverie and the worried panicked look replaced her face.
"Oh no, I just remembered."
"What?"
"I have a date with...D-Draco," Hermione said faintly. Harry's twitching eyes widened to the size of saucers in horror.
"Uh-uh! NO! No way! I am not going out with Malfoy if that's what you're thinking!" he snapped. And you thought being in another person's body was already enough... Hermione took off her--err, Harry's glasses and rubbed her eyes. Then she thought of an idea that actually helped.
"Let's go see Dumbledore!" she exclaimed. Both stood up so fast and ran to Dumbledore's office, breaking the speed barrier before Hermione stopped Harry first.
"What now?" Harry asked impatiently. Hermione smiled slyly. "Cute boxers, by the way," she said, grinning, then running off; followed by a crimson faced Harry.
Harry you idiot! Why didn't you think of that earlier? Dumbledore! You would've saved yourself from snogging Malfoy! My boxers are cute?
Haha. Wow...Malfoy...and Harry....making out. That's just too funny. Good chapter. *waits for the next chapter to be posted*
wow, u like, thought i should make it gross 
Hermione and Malfoy..........together? They would both frequently snog each other in the library......And then Harry snogs Malfoy?...........sugar muffin?.......Harry with cute boxers?............
*eye twitches very badly* So many wrong images........
*eye twitches very badly* So many wrong images........
it's my job to make scary images to ppl now i guess, hehehehe
I know, they're great!
Still....so many wrong images........
Still....so many wrong images........
I am really traumatized of Harry Potter now!..... Besides That, that was great! Still it was traumatizing..........
That might even scar me for life!! Sweetness!!!
yea, scarness!!!! I'm good *said proudly* I'll post the next chaptr next week, I'll let all of u suffer, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Yay!!! This is the best harry potter fanfic ever!!!!
Yay I'm going to suffer from being in trauma from this cool Harry Potter FanFic!!!
yea me!!! enjoy suffering without a new chapter for a week
Does anybody know whats a skype name?
*shrugs as she then goes back to watching moogles doing buttsecks. *
*eye twitches*
**eye twitches*
Chapter 3: Meetings and Revealings
Skidding on the marbled hallway, Harry and Hermione sped down the corridor, knocking a few students here and there as they went and hoping they wouldn't "run" into anybody else they knew. That would've have been a fat chance of that happening though because since they were breaking the speed barrier, you would've just seen a blurred flash.
They stopped in front of the stone gargoyle, panting with their tongues out and holding their sides. While Hermione sank to the floor, Harry faced the gargoyle then mentally slapped himself, hard. All their energy was wasted in running and they DIDN'T KNOW THE BLOODY PASSWORD! Harry groaned loudly.
"What is it, Harry?" Hermione said somewhere below. All Harry can do was glare at the wall with his fist balled up.
"I--don't--know--the--*bleep! I love that sound!*--PASSWORD!" he practically screamed the last word and started pacing and ranting/releasing all his frustration. And no, its not because Hermione is PMSing. Uh ... if that would have an effect to Harry ... would it? OK my brain hurts. If Hermione wasn't so tired, she would've slapped Harry upside in the head then give a sermon about swearing ... and her reputation. Bless her, she is tired. Hermione dully watched Harry with her hand supporting her head, her eyes following him like watching a game of tennis.
Both didn't even have the faintest idea that Dumbledore had just stepped out of the spiraling staircase and was watching interestedly at "Mr. Granger's" rage about passwords, crazy headmasters, and his current character. When Harry stop to draw in breath, it was then that Dumbledore spoke calmly.
"Fascinating Mr. Potter. But please, do keep it down. I believe Professor McGonagall is having her class and she might be willingly to put you into detention for such imprecate." Hermione jumped at the voice and joined Harry in staring at the headmaster. The ancient wizard smiled. "Come with me you two," he said. Hermione glared icily at Harry for swearing using her own "virgin" lips.
"How dare Harry curse like that! He is going to ruin MY reputation! Oh wait, I can exact revenge! I know what his "cute" boxers look like!" she thought angrily (and possibly evilly) as they followed Dumbledore to his office.
"Please take a seat," Dumbledore gestured to the two seats in front of his desk as he sat down in his own chair. Harry and Hermione slowly sat down. Hermione crossed her legs again, which resulted in Harry emitting a loud snigger that he tried to turn into a cough. She glared at him once more and put down her leg.
"Professor," Harry said in Hermione's voice, beginning even before Dumbledore opened his mouth. "How did you know that I'm ... Harry?" he said curiously, with amazement in his voice. Dumbledore put the tips of his fingers together.
"Believe me Harry, Miss Granger here would never swear like that," he said casually. Hermione flushed pink for some reason and Harry was the color of Ron's hair, grinning meekly. "Now," Dumbledore began. "How did you get into each other's bodies?" They shot a glance at each other.
"Does this man know everything?"
"Well, it started with the potion you assigned me, professor," Harry said. They both recounted their story, being extremely cautious of what they were saying, for maybe just one word might lead them to their ... ah, unfortunate experience. But as they told their tale, a twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes declared to them that he knew what really happened. When they finished, the shimmer was still in his eyes. They gulped; drops of sweat formed behind their heads. They couldn't control their crimson faces. Dumbledore just smiled, somewhat amused.
"So ... isn't there a spell or potion that could reverse us?" Hermione pleadingly asked even before Dumbledore could ask them. He nodded.
"Yes, there is. But since this is a complex piece of magic, it might take a week to complete its ritual," he said.
"A WEEK?" squawked Harry and Hermione.
"But professor--"
"A WEEK?"
"can't there be a faster--"
"A WEEK?"
"--way of reversing--"
"A WEEK?"
"SHUT UP, HARRY! WE'RE NOT DEAF!"
"OK."
"--us?"
Dumbledore shook his head gravely. "I'm afraid not, Miss Granger. It is the only way," he said. Harry and Hermione sighed in defeat. The ancient wizard observed them for long minutes. "I will summon you two when the ritual is completed," he said, dismissing them. The two nodded mutely and stood up to leave after saying their thank yous and goodbyes.
"Oh and Harry," Dumbledore called out. Harry turned to face a "rather huge" smiling headmaster. "Mouthwash would be more effective than mint sweets," he stated casually. Harry turned deep red.
"This man is FREAKY!"
"Hermione," Dumbledore called. Hermione turned around. "Please ask Mister Potter where did he get those boxer shorts. I would like a pair of them myself," he remarked amusedly. Hermione smirked and nodded pointedly at Harry who, if possible, turned redder.
"Is the point of this situation my boxers?"
"Professor Dumbledore, what is the password?" Harry suddenly asked, unable to contain himself any longer.
"Password. The password is password. I believe that I already named all kinds of sweets that I used after all my years of being a headmaster. I couldn't think of anything else," Dumbledore said simply.
"I did mention that this man is freaky, right?"
~*~*~*~*~
They left the office and just kept silent, only talking when anyone greeted them along the hallways. Though they ran into one person whom they just can't avoid.
"Hi guys!"
Ron bounded over to them. They exchanged looks though they were thinking of the same thing.
"Should we tell him?"
"Hey! Why did you miss all the classes? It's not like you two to skive off," the red head chimed. Harry and Hermione both nodded at each other and grabbed each of Ron's arms.
"We need to talk," Hermione said firmly. She and Harry dragged a very confused Ron to an empty classroom and then dropped him on the floor.
"Ow! Alright what is it?" he asked, standing up. Hermione took a deep steadying breath.
"Um, Ron, listen and listen good. It's about me and Harry," she said slowly. Ron blinked.
"Y-you two? No way ..." he stuttered. Again, Hermione and Harry exchanged glances, this time of surprise.
"How did he know?"
Ron had a mixture of shock and happiness on his face, something that really surprised them. "You guys are an item?" Ron divulged with glee.
"And about time too!" he happily said, grinning like mad while putting his arms around the two, completely unaware that Harry and Hermione just looked at him as though they were ready to kill. "So, tell me. Where did you guys snog? Is that why you skived off classes?" he said. Finally, they could take no more of his stupidity.
"NO WE ARE NOT AN ITEM!" they bellowed at the same time. Ron cowered in fear and looked at them back and forth.
"Your not?" he said incredulously. "But then ... what did you want to tell me?" Hermione sighed,
"Ron just listen. You might not be able to believe us,” she said. Ron looked at them suspiciously.
"We ... um ... me and Harry, we ..." she began awkwardly. Harry sighed exasperatedly.
"We switched bodies," he said simply. Hermione and Harry waited for Ron's reaction, which was an eyebrow raised. Then Ron broke into laughter.
"HAHAHA! Very funny guys!" he hooted. "HAHAHA! Good one! No, really what?" They just stared at him until Hermione shouted over his loud laugh.
"Yes Ron, we accidentally switched bodies. I'm in Harry's body and vice versa!" Ron stopped howling and stared at the two.
"Okaaaay. Since you guys are my best friends and I'll try to believe you, why don't you prove it," he said, crossing his arms. While Hermione tried to think of something, Harry already had an evil grin.
"Hmm, how about this for evidence. I know for a fact that you sneaked in the girl's dorm to get the book back from Hermione. You peeked in her drawer and when you came back, you said that you saw her ... ahem, 'undergarments' and this *coughcough* "folded-white-pad-like thingy!" he said casually. Hermione dropped her mouth in shock and glared at Ron, who paled visibly.
"YOU WHAT?" screeched Hermione.
"Aaand," Harry continued, ignoring Ron's desperate mutterings about shutting up. "You do have that picture under your bed of a very ‘stripped’ Christina Aguilera."
"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?" Hermione shrieked.
"And also, you ha--mmf!" Harry was cut off by a very red-faced Ron, who covered Harry's mouth with his free hand; his other hand was balled tightly into a fist.
"Alright, alright! Enough! I'm convinced," he snapped. Then the present situation was clear to him. It dawned upon him that his best friends were in a major problem. He slowly lowered his hand and stared devastatingly at the two. "H-how?" he said weakly.
Hermione immediately retold the story just as they had told Dumbledore, leaving out the sufferings they went through.
"OK. Did you go to Dumbledore?" Ron asked when they finished.
"Yeah, but he said it'll take a week to complete some ... ritual to change us back," Harry said wearily.
"Oh," was all Ron could say. "Wish I could help."
A long moment of silence passed. It stretched for minutes until Hermione broke it.
"What time is it?" she asked. Harry turned his head.
"If you've noticed Hermione, I happen to be wearing a watch," he said. "Or, so I used to," he added. Hermione looked at her own wrist, no watch. Then she realized what Harry was talking about.
"Oh!" she said, taking a glance at his timepiece. It read 5:00. "Oh no!" she gasped.
"What?" Harry and Ron said urgently.
"I have a date with Draco tonight! I have to--NO, You HAVE to--" she pointed at a stunned Harry,"--get ready!" she said, panicking. It seemed that Ron and Harry had both identical expressions, pure horror.
"NO WAY! UH-UH! I AM NOT GOING ON A DATE WITH MALFOY!" Harry roared. "You have to! It's his birthday today and you'll have to keep that date!" Hermione snapped back. "NO WAY! I'D RATHER DANCE THE TANGO NAKED WITH SNAPE!" (Ron winced, both of the name and the mental image) Harry snapped, looking aghast,
"B-b-but ... what if he tried to ... to ..." his words faltered. The memory of his snogging Malfoy was still fresh in his mind. Though it was clear to Hermione what he meant.
"Suffer then! I don't want him to think that I don't like him!" She snarled, placing her hands on her hips, which looked odd from Ron's point of view.
"Um, excuse me guys, but ... what the hell are you talking about?" Ron said meekly.
"Well, I have a date with Draco tonight and HARRY doesn't want to cooperate!" Hermione huffed. Ron placed the same look on Harry as soon he heard it.
"Oh no, Hermione! Don't you know that your using Harry as a human sacrifice!" he whined. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"It's just one dumb date! Besides, I'll be there under Harry's invisibility cloak to help," she said. "Please?" Harry looked into her pleading eyes. He is her best friend and this time, he felt that he needed to pay her back after all the assignments she’d done for him. "Please?" Hermione begged. Harry took a deep breath, signing his own death slip. Sucker ...
"Fine ..."
~*~*~*~*~*~
Skidding on the marbled hallway, Harry and Hermione sped down the corridor, knocking a few students here and there as they went and hoping they wouldn't "run" into anybody else they knew. That would've have been a fat chance of that happening though because since they were breaking the speed barrier, you would've just seen a blurred flash.
They stopped in front of the stone gargoyle, panting with their tongues out and holding their sides. While Hermione sank to the floor, Harry faced the gargoyle then mentally slapped himself, hard. All their energy was wasted in running and they DIDN'T KNOW THE BLOODY PASSWORD! Harry groaned loudly.
"What is it, Harry?" Hermione said somewhere below. All Harry can do was glare at the wall with his fist balled up.
"I--don't--know--the--*bleep! I love that sound!*--PASSWORD!" he practically screamed the last word and started pacing and ranting/releasing all his frustration. And no, its not because Hermione is PMSing. Uh ... if that would have an effect to Harry ... would it? OK my brain hurts. If Hermione wasn't so tired, she would've slapped Harry upside in the head then give a sermon about swearing ... and her reputation. Bless her, she is tired. Hermione dully watched Harry with her hand supporting her head, her eyes following him like watching a game of tennis.
Both didn't even have the faintest idea that Dumbledore had just stepped out of the spiraling staircase and was watching interestedly at "Mr. Granger's" rage about passwords, crazy headmasters, and his current character. When Harry stop to draw in breath, it was then that Dumbledore spoke calmly.
"Fascinating Mr. Potter. But please, do keep it down. I believe Professor McGonagall is having her class and she might be willingly to put you into detention for such imprecate." Hermione jumped at the voice and joined Harry in staring at the headmaster. The ancient wizard smiled. "Come with me you two," he said. Hermione glared icily at Harry for swearing using her own "virgin" lips.
"How dare Harry curse like that! He is going to ruin MY reputation! Oh wait, I can exact revenge! I know what his "cute" boxers look like!" she thought angrily (and possibly evilly) as they followed Dumbledore to his office.
"Please take a seat," Dumbledore gestured to the two seats in front of his desk as he sat down in his own chair. Harry and Hermione slowly sat down. Hermione crossed her legs again, which resulted in Harry emitting a loud snigger that he tried to turn into a cough. She glared at him once more and put down her leg.
"Professor," Harry said in Hermione's voice, beginning even before Dumbledore opened his mouth. "How did you know that I'm ... Harry?" he said curiously, with amazement in his voice. Dumbledore put the tips of his fingers together.
"Believe me Harry, Miss Granger here would never swear like that," he said casually. Hermione flushed pink for some reason and Harry was the color of Ron's hair, grinning meekly. "Now," Dumbledore began. "How did you get into each other's bodies?" They shot a glance at each other.
"Does this man know everything?"
"Well, it started with the potion you assigned me, professor," Harry said. They both recounted their story, being extremely cautious of what they were saying, for maybe just one word might lead them to their ... ah, unfortunate experience. But as they told their tale, a twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes declared to them that he knew what really happened. When they finished, the shimmer was still in his eyes. They gulped; drops of sweat formed behind their heads. They couldn't control their crimson faces. Dumbledore just smiled, somewhat amused.
"So ... isn't there a spell or potion that could reverse us?" Hermione pleadingly asked even before Dumbledore could ask them. He nodded.
"Yes, there is. But since this is a complex piece of magic, it might take a week to complete its ritual," he said.
"A WEEK?" squawked Harry and Hermione.
"But professor--"
"A WEEK?"
"can't there be a faster--"
"A WEEK?"
"--way of reversing--"
"A WEEK?"
"SHUT UP, HARRY! WE'RE NOT DEAF!"
"OK."
"--us?"
Dumbledore shook his head gravely. "I'm afraid not, Miss Granger. It is the only way," he said. Harry and Hermione sighed in defeat. The ancient wizard observed them for long minutes. "I will summon you two when the ritual is completed," he said, dismissing them. The two nodded mutely and stood up to leave after saying their thank yous and goodbyes.
"Oh and Harry," Dumbledore called out. Harry turned to face a "rather huge" smiling headmaster. "Mouthwash would be more effective than mint sweets," he stated casually. Harry turned deep red.
"This man is FREAKY!"
"Hermione," Dumbledore called. Hermione turned around. "Please ask Mister Potter where did he get those boxer shorts. I would like a pair of them myself," he remarked amusedly. Hermione smirked and nodded pointedly at Harry who, if possible, turned redder.
"Is the point of this situation my boxers?"
"Professor Dumbledore, what is the password?" Harry suddenly asked, unable to contain himself any longer.
"Password. The password is password. I believe that I already named all kinds of sweets that I used after all my years of being a headmaster. I couldn't think of anything else," Dumbledore said simply.
"I did mention that this man is freaky, right?"
~*~*~*~*~
They left the office and just kept silent, only talking when anyone greeted them along the hallways. Though they ran into one person whom they just can't avoid.
"Hi guys!"
Ron bounded over to them. They exchanged looks though they were thinking of the same thing.
"Should we tell him?"
"Hey! Why did you miss all the classes? It's not like you two to skive off," the red head chimed. Harry and Hermione both nodded at each other and grabbed each of Ron's arms.
"We need to talk," Hermione said firmly. She and Harry dragged a very confused Ron to an empty classroom and then dropped him on the floor.
"Ow! Alright what is it?" he asked, standing up. Hermione took a deep steadying breath.
"Um, Ron, listen and listen good. It's about me and Harry," she said slowly. Ron blinked.
"Y-you two? No way ..." he stuttered. Again, Hermione and Harry exchanged glances, this time of surprise.
"How did he know?"
Ron had a mixture of shock and happiness on his face, something that really surprised them. "You guys are an item?" Ron divulged with glee.
"And about time too!" he happily said, grinning like mad while putting his arms around the two, completely unaware that Harry and Hermione just looked at him as though they were ready to kill. "So, tell me. Where did you guys snog? Is that why you skived off classes?" he said. Finally, they could take no more of his stupidity.
"NO WE ARE NOT AN ITEM!" they bellowed at the same time. Ron cowered in fear and looked at them back and forth.
"Your not?" he said incredulously. "But then ... what did you want to tell me?" Hermione sighed,
"Ron just listen. You might not be able to believe us,” she said. Ron looked at them suspiciously.
"We ... um ... me and Harry, we ..." she began awkwardly. Harry sighed exasperatedly.
"We switched bodies," he said simply. Hermione and Harry waited for Ron's reaction, which was an eyebrow raised. Then Ron broke into laughter.
"HAHAHA! Very funny guys!" he hooted. "HAHAHA! Good one! No, really what?" They just stared at him until Hermione shouted over his loud laugh.
"Yes Ron, we accidentally switched bodies. I'm in Harry's body and vice versa!" Ron stopped howling and stared at the two.
"Okaaaay. Since you guys are my best friends and I'll try to believe you, why don't you prove it," he said, crossing his arms. While Hermione tried to think of something, Harry already had an evil grin.
"Hmm, how about this for evidence. I know for a fact that you sneaked in the girl's dorm to get the book back from Hermione. You peeked in her drawer and when you came back, you said that you saw her ... ahem, 'undergarments' and this *coughcough* "folded-white-pad-like thingy!" he said casually. Hermione dropped her mouth in shock and glared at Ron, who paled visibly.
"YOU WHAT?" screeched Hermione.
"Aaand," Harry continued, ignoring Ron's desperate mutterings about shutting up. "You do have that picture under your bed of a very ‘stripped’ Christina Aguilera."
"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?" Hermione shrieked.
"And also, you ha--mmf!" Harry was cut off by a very red-faced Ron, who covered Harry's mouth with his free hand; his other hand was balled tightly into a fist.
"Alright, alright! Enough! I'm convinced," he snapped. Then the present situation was clear to him. It dawned upon him that his best friends were in a major problem. He slowly lowered his hand and stared devastatingly at the two. "H-how?" he said weakly.
Hermione immediately retold the story just as they had told Dumbledore, leaving out the sufferings they went through.
"OK. Did you go to Dumbledore?" Ron asked when they finished.
"Yeah, but he said it'll take a week to complete some ... ritual to change us back," Harry said wearily.
"Oh," was all Ron could say. "Wish I could help."
A long moment of silence passed. It stretched for minutes until Hermione broke it.
"What time is it?" she asked. Harry turned his head.
"If you've noticed Hermione, I happen to be wearing a watch," he said. "Or, so I used to," he added. Hermione looked at her own wrist, no watch. Then she realized what Harry was talking about.
"Oh!" she said, taking a glance at his timepiece. It read 5:00. "Oh no!" she gasped.
"What?" Harry and Ron said urgently.
"I have a date with Draco tonight! I have to--NO, You HAVE to--" she pointed at a stunned Harry,"--get ready!" she said, panicking. It seemed that Ron and Harry had both identical expressions, pure horror.
"NO WAY! UH-UH! I AM NOT GOING ON A DATE WITH MALFOY!" Harry roared. "You have to! It's his birthday today and you'll have to keep that date!" Hermione snapped back. "NO WAY! I'D RATHER DANCE THE TANGO NAKED WITH SNAPE!" (Ron winced, both of the name and the mental image) Harry snapped, looking aghast,
"B-b-but ... what if he tried to ... to ..." his words faltered. The memory of his snogging Malfoy was still fresh in his mind. Though it was clear to Hermione what he meant.
"Suffer then! I don't want him to think that I don't like him!" She snarled, placing her hands on her hips, which looked odd from Ron's point of view.
"Um, excuse me guys, but ... what the hell are you talking about?" Ron said meekly.
"Well, I have a date with Draco tonight and HARRY doesn't want to cooperate!" Hermione huffed. Ron placed the same look on Harry as soon he heard it.
"Oh no, Hermione! Don't you know that your using Harry as a human sacrifice!" he whined. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"It's just one dumb date! Besides, I'll be there under Harry's invisibility cloak to help," she said. "Please?" Harry looked into her pleading eyes. He is her best friend and this time, he felt that he needed to pay her back after all the assignments she’d done for him. "Please?" Hermione begged. Harry took a deep breath, signing his own death slip. Sucker ...
"Fine ..."
~*~*~*~*~*~
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