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Fanfiction ► Greetings from the Inferno



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Christian1361

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Song of the Century

Sing us a song of the century that's louder than bombs and eternity
Mandy woke up with a throbbing headache. All around her was the decaying debris of a house blown to Hell by bombs and ammunition: the ceilings were caving in, the window and the walls were obliterated, and the furniture was broken and flung across the room. But miraculously, the bed was still intact and in the middle of the room where Mandy lay. She stirred a little bit before grasping her head in slight pain and anguish complete with a large sigh because of her headache. She gave another exhausted sigh before slowly opening her eyes to see the rubble around her. She shot up and couldn't believe them. Everything had been as quiet as a city on the brink of disaster could be or maybe not. Mandy really couldn't tell because she had been wasted the night before and couldn't remember which house she had slept in. It was all a blur to her. She could remember going to the bar off the corner of fourth and Maine and meeting a good looking man but couldn't remember anything else after that. She hadn't had time to make crossings with her whereabouts because just as she awoke, a man with hair as black as asphalt sticking out in different directions holding a handgun the size of Texas came rushing up to her and began shouting at her.
"We have to get the fuck out of here, right now, Amanda, or else we're both dead!" Mandy couldn't comprehend who this guy was, why he was here or why she was going to be dead if she didn't go with him but she couldn't protest quickly enough as he grabbed her arm and gripped it tight pulling her in the direction of the door. Or where the door would be if there had been one at all.
"Wait, why are we going to be dead? I don't even know you! And how do you know my name?!" She asked many questions that she wouldn't get answered until much later. The guy just pulled her out of the house, jumping over tipped over furniture, falling debris and broken glass, stopping briefly to let a big piece of plaster from the ceiling fall in front of them.​
Before Mandy had a chance to do anything, the guy grabbed her by the waist, picking her up off the ground and whisked her out of the way as fast as cheetahs run just as the plaster fell, right on time for it to occupy the space they had been in seconds before. Mandy breathed heavily as the guy looked around for another place to exit the falling house.
"If we don't get out of this death hole soon, we'll never get to safety," he breathed out exhausted, rubbing the hair on his head remarkably with one hand while holding Mandy in his other.
She looked over at him and quipped, "Oh, really?"
They both exchanged glances then the guy looked around again and feeling defeated, he spoke, "We're gonna just have to jump over it. Come on." He tightened his grip around her waist and hugged her tight close to him to her amazement. Before she could do anything, he leaped over the plaster and landed on some rubble below then dashed through some more falling debris to get to the outside. He put Mandy down then yanked her down to the ground. They laid flat on their stomachs as gunfire and bullets zipped past them. There was yelling and cursing and riots, protests and chaos everywhere around. The guy stood up and fired his gun three times into a man running close to them then did the same to another as he picked Mandy up. Fights were breaking out everywhere, rioting and fires erupted all around them and bottles broke, whizzing past heads and landing straight into skulls and craniums. It was hell on earth to Mandy and she couldn't fathom any of it.
The guy took her arm and screamed, "Come on! We gotta get to the bar and hope to God that Christian's there. He'll have the answers to everything we need."​
They flew down the street despite Mandy's protests and dodge a few bottles and fires while the guy shot from his gun, picking up other guns along the way. Once his gun was out of ammo, he'd just use another. When they reached the bar, Mandy noticed the street sign as it read, "Fourth and Maine" but was dented and bent at the bottom. There was a flash of light and a bomb went off in the distance. They stopped in front of the door so the guy could get authorization into the building as Mandy looked around at the horror before her.
"Everything's really gone to hell now," she sighed.
The guy put his handgun in the back of his pants then looked over at her with slightly bored eyes and replied, "Welcome to the end of the world, honey."​
NOTE: All song titles and song lyrics are from Green Day's 21st Century Breakdown; Please don't steal them
 
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Reverie

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The Prologue is good so far~ I haven't really detected any spelling/grammar mistakes.
 

Ventus Air-Man

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Wow. It's pretty good. Not many grammatical errors, but you there was some reptition. Other than that, you did a nice job. =D
 

madammina

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Okay, two things to keep in mind.

ALWAYS start a new paragraph when someone else is speaking (if this is artsy I understand)
Try to change up "Said"

Also, the flow is missing something.

But this is really engaging. I am curious about Amanada and her new friend.

Also, see if you can move this too Original Fiction. if you are just doing an homage Greenday, then it's not a fanfic.
 

Christian1361

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Jan 24, 2010
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Deep in the heart of the Inferno
I'll be sure to keep those in mind. And I've never been able to start a new paragraph when someone else says something. I just have never been able to do it. I don't know why.

But, actually, I am putting Billie Joe, Mike and Tre in the story as well. So, wouldn't that still be considered fanfic???

And by the way, character back stories are coming soon....I just have to get part two up on the boards and we should be good to go. :)
 
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