Help/Support ► First Date advice/tips

[Hero]

So long story short, there's this hostess at work (I work at a restaurant) whom I've been txting back and forth since I got her number on Sunday. I'm thinking of asking her out sometime this weekend. Before you guys start telling me that I'm rushing into this, this isn't the first time we've talked. We've made idle chit chat on previous occasions so this isn't something out of the blue. She wrote out her number on a big thing of scrap paper using huge bubble letters and lots of smilies. More importantly, why would she bother giving me her number if she wasn't interested/single. She's incredibly attractive; she's got big, bold, green eyes, is a brunette, has an amazing body and is Hispanic to boot (I'm Mexican for those who don't know). Thing is though, in my industry, there's not much opportunity to socialize unless you're "on the floor" (bussing, serving, running, etc) which she's a not. So I pretty much just want to have a day where I can just get to know her and stuff.

I've read that the standard "dinner and a movie" should best be used on the second date once the ice is broken. I've instead decided to take her to the mall. I think it's a good choice. There were won't be so much pressure to try and impress each other since we'll just be "hanging out". It's got a fairly nice food court/restaurants and an in door movie theater so that's always an option if all else fails.

I'm thinking it should go well but since this is literally my first date ever '3' I'm still fairly nervous. Any tips/advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry about the long read.

 

[Cosmic+Amarna]

Well usually I don't have conversations during a movie, I'd just wait on seeing a movie as a date if I were you. And I can see why you'd think that she may like you a little. I'd ask her to hangout if I were you, don't say will you go out with me, ask her if she would like to hangout or do something sometime. Your 'date' doesn't even have to be on a friday or saturday night, if she likes you at all it'd be better to do things that allow you to get to know each other.

 

[Professor Ven]

So long story short, there's this hostess at work (I work at a restaurant) whom I've been txting back and forth since I got her number on Sunday. I'm thinking of asking her out sometime this weekend. Before you guys start telling me that I'm rushing into this, this isn't the first time we've talked. We've made idle chit chat on previous occasions so this isn't something out of the blue. She wrote out her number on a big thing of scrap paper using huge bubble letters and lots of smilies. More importantly, why would she bother giving me her number if she wasn't interested/single. She's incredibly attractive; she's got big, bold, green eyes, is a brunette, has an amazing body and is Hispanic to boot (I'm Mexican for those who don't know). Thing is though, in my industry, there's not much opportunity to socialize unless you're "on the floor" (bussing, serving, running, etc) which she's a not. So I pretty much just want to have a day where I can just get to know her and stuff.

I've read that the standard "dinner and a movie" should best be used on the second date once the ice is broken. I've instead decided to take her to the mall. I think it's a good choice. There were won't be so much pressure to try and impress each other since we'll just be "hanging out". It's got a fairly nice food court/restaurants and an in door movie theater so that's always an option if all else fails.

I'm thinking it should go well but since this is literally my first date ever '3' I'm still fairly nervous. Any tips/advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry about the long read.

You got this go bro keep chugging



Me Gusta

 

[Annoyance]

First dates are hard and can be a bit awkward, but you really just have to relax. Just, breath and relax. You want to get to know them, just talk normally, don't feel like you have to interview them. From my experience in talking to guys, usually the girl starts going off about something so it's kind of a lot of listening for you anyways?

I know it's a cliche but it's a cliche for a reason: Be yourself and have fun. Don't feel like you need to impress her.

 

[Silverslide]

Keep on that train, buddy. CHOOO. You are doing all of the right things it sounds like.

Some tips, don't seem TOO eager. It can scare her. Second, be yourself fully. I know that line is generic and overused but it works. Be casual in conversation, don't be afraid to ask her about herself. When she answers the question try to get another question out of her answer.

Example:
Guy: So you used to play volleyball in college?
Girl: Hahaha yeah it was awesome. We didn't go far though.
Guy: oh, really? Why not?
Girl: (explains her reasoning)
Guy: ah I played (sport) in high school I know that feeling.

Then she asks you about that or says 'ha cool' or something. Either way keep it going and time will fly.

 

[Taylor]

Keep on that train, buddy. CHOOO. You are doing all of the right things it sounds like.

Some tips, don't seem TOO eager. It can scare her. Second, be yourself fully. I know that line is generic and overused but it works. Be casual in conversation, don't be afraid to ask her about herself. When she answers the question try to get another question out of her answer.

Example:
Guy: So you used to play volleyball in college?
Girl: Hahaha yeah it was awesome. We didn't go far though.
Guy: oh, really? Why not?
Girl: (explains her reasoning)
Guy: ah I played (sport) in high school I know that feeling.

Then she asks you about that or says 'ha cool' or something. Either way keep it going and time will fly.

wow it all seems so obvious now...

 

[The Lionheart]

I think you should take her to dinner, as opposed to the mall. Dinner and a movie is a large time commitment, so going to just dinner for the first date will allow you to dodge out if things are going poorly. Going to the mall sounds, to be honest, classless to me. Maybe you can make a good time of it, but it almost seems too casual to be taking a girl out. If you like her, show her she's worth taking out. Show her your willing to risk comfort by taking her to a nice place.

Practical tips: Give her a compliment when you pick her up. Verbalize what you feel (something like "your eyes look stunning tonight"). I know it's cheesy, trust me, but she'll enjoy a compliment. During dinner, just talk about life etc. Get to know her a bit better, but don't try to pry too deep into anything. When you drop her off, give her another compliment, and say something related to what she said ("I thought that story about x was hilarious") during dinner.

On the same note, don't try to force anything. She wants to go on a date with the guy she knows, don't try to be anything you're not. If making a compliment seems forced, don't do it. If you can't remember anything to tell her, don't make stuff up. Just do you my man, you'll do fine.

 

[Decrith]

I really advice NOT NOT NOT to go on a movie, the point of a first date is leave a good impression, get to know each other and get a second one. Watching a movie means 2~3 hrs of not talking (unless you want to talk while watching the movie, but why watch it then?) So yea, its good that your moving the movie idea to a future date.

Anyway basically, it seems like you're gonna do fine, just like you said, "hang out" for a while, and when you feel comfortable that when you make it an official date.

 

[Lycanthrope]

mall =/= good first dates. Take her out to a restaurant. Maybe a movie afterward if things are going well.

if all else fails, rufilin is a good way to go if that's what you're in to.

 

[The Conquerer]

Decrith's idea sounds good to me.

From what I've seen, 1st date right out is traditional and typical, but may not always work out at first due to not knowing how to deal with someone you just met or someone you haven't communicated enough with.Find out somethings the two of you like and would do possibly together when you actually sit down to talk with her. Once you've built that ground, yall could talk about how yall both like those activities and would like to do those at some point yadda, yadda.

Personally, taking a girl on a date once I actually knew who she was, is ideal. It wouldn't be as awkward. It should be like, "I know and am comfortable around this person." You don't want your idea to take her out to sound like something she wasn't expecting at some point so display signs of attraction like flirting and touching (be selective at first with this one).

 

[Decrith]

wow it all seems so obvious now...

It may seem obvious now, but in reality a conversation like that would usually end up like this.

Guy: So you used to play volleyball in college?
Girl: Yeah
Guy: Oh, Really? How was it.
Girl: It was awesome.
Guy: You still playing? (something along that line)
Girl: No.
ME: (DAMMIT, CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE ME A BETTER ANSWER!!)

I really hate it when you try to start a conversation, and they reply with 1 or 2 words >_>

 

[Lycanthrope]

protip: if she's replying in 1 or 2 word answers, she isn't interested and you're wasting your time thinking she's interested and you should cut your losses

 

[Decrith]

protip: if she's replying in 1 or 2 word answers, she isn't interested and you're wasting your time thinking she's interested and you should cut your losses

Yea pretty much figured that out. Happened to me quite a few times say 2/5 times. Although the last time that happened, it turned out the girl was a lesbian. xD But it doesn't necessarily mean she's not interested, at times its just a topic she wishes to forget/ignore.

Anyway @ OP good luck with your date. If you realize she's replying with 1 or 2 words, either change the topic or do what Lycanthrope says.