- Joined
- May 11, 2004
- Messages
- 687
- Age
- 36
- Location
- In a shoe longing for popcorn.
- Website
- s6.invisionfree.com
I am working on a story, not KH related, called "Embedded Scars." I wanted to see if it seemed interesting so I am posting it here to get some feedback.
This is the prolouge and the only part of the story in first person, enjoy it while it lasts.... [insert miniacle laugh here]
Prologue
I looked over the land, watching it burn into a crisp. The horrified screams of children was like hearing hell call out to me, begging me to continue the bloodbath. Ashes leapt out from the depths of the fire and speckled the sky like an invading army of black rose petals. Clouds of smog had covered the once azure sky and blocked out all light that used to bring the villagers hope in their world of poverty and famine. This was mercy for them. Death without suffering, they should thank me from my brutality, it saved them the pain of living.
"Sire! The warriors of Lord Akira are attacking our front, we must make haste!" One of the generals bellowed from the ground below me.
I sighed. Parting was such sweet sorrow, I absolutly hated leaving the flames that danced across the unfertile soil, but I had more important business to attend to. I jumped from the ledge and landed firmly on the ground. I rose from my crouched position and signaled for a retreat. If this went on any longer it would merely be a waste of my precious time and our forces. The general understood and ordered the troops to fall back. This disappointed the soldiers, they hadn't fought in many days and were itching to kill something. They followed orders and returned, but most were disturbed by my subtle decision. They knew we had the advantage and were sure to win, never had I, their leader, called such a shameful action. I cared very little about the shame they said this would bring. Although I did not enjoy bestowing shame on the warriors that I commanded, or me, but retreat brought no such thing. The thought was just an early on believed lie that seemed to have poisened the minds of my army, and the lands we were trying to conquer.
The troops were loaded onto transports and sent back to our base. I stayed behind, lingering in the shadows of the still burning landscape waiting for a single soldier that was missing in action. She was sent to retrieve an object from the enemy base and return it to me within the time we set the town a flame and left the area in an unexpected retreat. Late she was and consequences there will be if she did not return because of a sly betrayal.
Forty-five minutes passed and she ceased to return. I put too much trust in her services. After all, she was just a rookie with skill that reluctantly was chosen to do my bidding. I sighed, turned, and headed towards my reserved vehicle left inside a nearby cave. I'd send a team to bring her and the item back to base, with or without force.
I opened the door to find my outlandishly dressed, deviant rookie sitting in the drivers seat.
"Ahoy Captain! What took ya so long?" She grinned at me childishly.
I snickered. "You do know how to drive?" I added sarcastically.
"Um, no, not really," she sang, and with that we rode back to base in the new born twilight.
This is the prolouge and the only part of the story in first person, enjoy it while it lasts.... [insert miniacle laugh here]
Prologue
I looked over the land, watching it burn into a crisp. The horrified screams of children was like hearing hell call out to me, begging me to continue the bloodbath. Ashes leapt out from the depths of the fire and speckled the sky like an invading army of black rose petals. Clouds of smog had covered the once azure sky and blocked out all light that used to bring the villagers hope in their world of poverty and famine. This was mercy for them. Death without suffering, they should thank me from my brutality, it saved them the pain of living.
"Sire! The warriors of Lord Akira are attacking our front, we must make haste!" One of the generals bellowed from the ground below me.
I sighed. Parting was such sweet sorrow, I absolutly hated leaving the flames that danced across the unfertile soil, but I had more important business to attend to. I jumped from the ledge and landed firmly on the ground. I rose from my crouched position and signaled for a retreat. If this went on any longer it would merely be a waste of my precious time and our forces. The general understood and ordered the troops to fall back. This disappointed the soldiers, they hadn't fought in many days and were itching to kill something. They followed orders and returned, but most were disturbed by my subtle decision. They knew we had the advantage and were sure to win, never had I, their leader, called such a shameful action. I cared very little about the shame they said this would bring. Although I did not enjoy bestowing shame on the warriors that I commanded, or me, but retreat brought no such thing. The thought was just an early on believed lie that seemed to have poisened the minds of my army, and the lands we were trying to conquer.
The troops were loaded onto transports and sent back to our base. I stayed behind, lingering in the shadows of the still burning landscape waiting for a single soldier that was missing in action. She was sent to retrieve an object from the enemy base and return it to me within the time we set the town a flame and left the area in an unexpected retreat. Late she was and consequences there will be if she did not return because of a sly betrayal.
Forty-five minutes passed and she ceased to return. I put too much trust in her services. After all, she was just a rookie with skill that reluctantly was chosen to do my bidding. I sighed, turned, and headed towards my reserved vehicle left inside a nearby cave. I'd send a team to bring her and the item back to base, with or without force.
I opened the door to find my outlandishly dressed, deviant rookie sitting in the drivers seat.
"Ahoy Captain! What took ya so long?" She grinned at me childishly.
I snickered. "You do know how to drive?" I added sarcastically.
"Um, no, not really," she sang, and with that we rode back to base in the new born twilight.
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