Dad there's something I have to tell you

[BufferAqua]

*sigh* Back to sleeping with women again.

*cocks gun* Dad, gimmie your poptarts.

 

[Xickin]

Sure sweety! *Cocks gun* After you burn in Hell...

Mom, I...I want to be a serial killer when I grow up! And I want you and Dad to be my first victims!

 

[MegaWallflower]

*shoots* See, honey, I TOLD you she would inherit that from you. Gotta kill them before they start getting these ideas!

Mom, I wrote fanfiction about you and my science teacher.

 

[Xickin]

That's okay, I wrote one about you and my friend next door.

Dad, how do you have *the sex*?

 

[Anagram]

You dont. Your perpetually 10.

Mom, how do you bake cake?

 

[MegaWallflower]

*drunkenly sobbing* The cake is a lie! Now go away!

Daddy, why are you sad?

 

[Anagram]

Because the cake is a lie! ;A;

Mom why is the cake a lie!?

 

[MegaWallflower]

Because your father was sleeping with that girl next door! That liar! "Nothing happened" my butt!

Dad, do you still love mom?

 

[Anagram]

More than shes willing to be comfortable with~

Dad, why does sis keep trying to get dad in trouble with lies of cheating?

 

[MegaWallflower]

Because, your sister has the biggest mother complex I have ever seen. I'm kind of scared she plans to kill me in my sleep for it.

Mom, can I have a puppy?

 

[Anagram]

Yes

Dad can I have a kitten?

 

[BufferAqua]

To scratch your face? Let's go to the pet store right now!

Dad, our brother can regenerate.

 

[Anagram]

Stab him to test the length of his abilities.

Mom....brother has a crush on Yang.

 

[MegaWallflower]

Tell him to keep his dirty hands off my waifu!

Dad, what's with all these anime figurines?

 

[Anagram]

DONT YOU TOUCH THEM YOU FILTHY LOVE CHILD!!!!

Mom, what is an otaku?

 

[MegaWallflower]

It's what your father has become. He used to be charming and loving... to real people. *cries*

Sis, are our parents okay?

 

[Anagram]

Nope.

Bro, is that my new nephew your holding?

 

[MegaWallflower]

Nah, it's just some baby I found at the park. I figured I could pick up girls if they thought I was all caring and stuff, but now it smells like poop and I regret this.

Uncle, are you "the weird uncle" or "the boring uncle"?

 

[Anagram]

That depends kid, do you like fireworks or not? ;]

Aunty, why do you treat me better than grandma or grandpa?

 

[MegaWallflower]

Because you haven't stabbed me in the back and twisted the knife yet. And you better keep it that way.

Son, what is wrong with this family?