Fanfiction ► Can't Believe I'm Still Chained to this Kid

[Prophet]

This is a story about a spirit named Haerthos that is cursed for a past crime, and therefore has been sentenced to a hundred thousand years of caring for the Keyblade and it's wielder. He get's government funding of course, but this century's wielder is a snotty little kid named Sora. They just saved the world from a madman's Heartless, a madman's Nobody, and all the darkness in the world. They returned to their home, but Haerthos is still chained to this brat. It has been a year...

Haerthos sat, staring out onto the blue waves of the ocean. The sparkling sapphire paradise stared back at him, offering him its majestic beauty to swim in. He sighed quietly to himself. What I wouldn't give to take of my clothes and jump into the cool refreshing depths of the salty ocean. But it wasn't meant to be. Haerthos lay on the ground, staring up at the sky. There were no clouds today, and the perfect blue sky went on forever. There is a strange feeling one gets from looking up at the unaltered sky. It is a feeling of release, and utter weakness. You feel as if you can just float up into the sky, flying forever and forever in one direction, until you leave the boundaries of this world and end up in the endless dark abyss of space. You float, unbound by the chains that bind you here, unbound by gravity, unbound by the laws that bind you to your post...

Suddenly a familiar tug pulled Haerthos from his dreams. "Ugghh," he moaned, and struggled to stand. A sharp pain racked his body, and he slipped and fell onto the sand. Cursing, he hurriedly rushed over to a boy that was getting up off the sand. He and his girlfriend had been lying on the beach, doing god knows what. The boy was helping the girl stand, and they both were smiling deeply at each other. Haerthos sighed. It had been a long time since he was in love. Almost five millenia. He had forgotten how disturbing it was to watch. But he had to. He was bound to the Keyblade Master. Wherever he went, Haerthos went. Whatever he did, Haerthos had to help. And whenever someone needed to open a door, Haerthos had to pick the lock. Why can't someone just leave a treasure unlocked for once! he thought to himself angrily as he looked down at his blistering fingers. He wanted to kick something really bad right now... But of course Sora didn't care! He acted as if he didn't know I existed! Well, Haerthos thought, picking a blister on his hand, He really doesn't. Haerthos existed as a spirit, bound to the keyblade, and performing all its actions and special duties. Haerthos fumed angrily as a particular nasty splinter from the last door twinged horribly. I mean, who do you think unlocks the doors? he thought murderously, Who do you think has to make all that light? Spontaneous lighting isn't as easy as it used to be you know. I mean I had to plug in to a close by star just to unlock that last gate! Oh, and don't get me started on that whole hearts thing...

Haerthos rambled on to himself as the boy and the girl started kissing. Softly at first, and then harder and with more passion. Haerthos, as the spirit of the Keyblade, felt Sora's passions go through the roof via the connection with the Keyblade. Haerthos groaned. Another one of those heart throb moments. This was going to be nasty. Sora looked around to make sure no one was looking, and then playfully summoned the Keyblade and pointed it at the lock on Kairi's belt buckle. Haerthos was aghast. "No, no way am I opening... He can't be serious..." he shouted and turned to leave, "There is no way I am going to open up a female's..." But he fell to the floor in pain before he could finish his tirade. Refusing to do the Keybearers order was taboo, and caused extreme spiritual pain. And when spiritual pain is the only thing you can feel, it is pretty hard to ignore. He struggled to get up, and walked slowly up to the two of them. He groaned slowly, and sank to his knees in front of Kairi. He reached into his item pouch and drew out a couple of lock picks and two black gloves. He strapped on the black gloves, and bravely turned to face Kairi's waist. Time began to slow, the chatter of the birds and the song of the fish slowed to a gentle throb. Sora's laughter slowed into a dull monotone hum, and Kairi's blush froze crimson on her face. Good, thought Haerthos, swallowing, and raising his tools, Now I can work in peace. He stared at the buckle, trying hard not to look at Kairi's curved hips inches from his face. He shook himself. Come on Haerthos, he thought angrily, quickly inserting the wires into the lock, and fiddling, Get over it! You're a five thousand year old criminal spirit!! He yammered on to himself, his hands shaking with uncharacteristic nervousness. "Why do kids need locks on their belts anyways?" voiced Haerthos to the frozen area around him, the silence mocking his words as they reverberated on the island. New birth control?, he asked himself as he went back to work on the buckle. After several more uncomfortable seconds of Haerthos sweating with the effort not to peek under Kairi's pink mini-skirt, the lock clicked and fell open. Haerthos fell back in relief, and time slowly resumed as normal. Kairi's blush swelled, as her belt fell off, along with her skirt. It fell in slow motion as the Keyblades power took its very sweet time in going to normal. Sora moved toward Kairi slowly, as if the air itself was holding him back. Haerthos groaned. "Please hurry up," he pleaded to the empty beach as time slowly began to move faster. He risked a peek and nearly threw up when he saw them kissing in a monstrous slow motion. He closed his eyes, covered his head, and tried to block out the long drawn out, and distorted moans he was hearing through the soupy air.

It was late at night. Sora and Kairi had finally decided enough was enough. They put there clothes back on (thankfully Kairi decided to buckle the buckle herself) and were heading back to the island. Haerthos followed them at a distance, as far away as possible without enduring tortuous pain. He heard them talking about the Keyblade War and how much they loved each other. Haerthos wanted to throw up again. Did he get any credit? Nooooooo. All the Heartless he had to smash, and all the nobodies he had to destroy! Of course Sora get's all the credit, with his kung fu Keyblade-itsu and karate chops and flips. No one wants to thank Haerthos for giving him his Keyblade Master Skills! No one wants to thank Haerthos for opening all those doors, especially those Keyholes. He groaned. It took him almost an hour of stop-time to lock that door in Kingdom Hearts. And did he ever get thanked? Noooo. Kid thinks he can just point a toy at a door and the shiny beam of light will come out and do all his work for him. He should see the bill I rack up with all the rental on that star...

Haerthos would have kept talking to himself unless he hadn't been hit with a giant bolt of agony. He gasped and fell on his knees, the shot of pain flashing through his head. It was not that he had gone to far from Sora and Kairi. This was a different pain. Not pain even. More of a... feeling. Haerthos looked around the deserted beach cautiously, his spiritual eyes picking out every speck of dust and shadow. It wasn't long before he saw it. Two yellow eyes, almost indetectable in the shadows. The eyes vanished after he saw them, but he had been fighting Heartless long enough to recognize one when he saw it. He cautiously caught up with Sora and Kairi. Inside, his heart was thumping. Heartless? Here on the island. He had thought the last of the Heartless were gone after they had gone to the war last year, and he was destined to spend the rest of his life locking bedroom doors and unlocking girl belt buckles. I guess not, he thought and walked up to Sora. "Sora," he whispered quietly in Sora's ear, "We have company." Sora didn't hear him, but something made him stop, and look behind him. Kairi looked up at him and asked him something, her eyes curious. And that was when they struck...

BAMMMMMMMM...

Faster then then Haerthos could pick up a babe at a club five millenia ago (which is pretty fast by the way) a score of Shadow Heartless slid up from the ground and attacked them. Sora spun around, quickly pushing Kairi back toward a wall, where he could protect her, summoning the Keyblade in the same move. Haerthos had to hand it to the kid, he was a quick thinker. Roaring like a tiger, Sora swung his Keyblade into an attack position, and waited for the Heartless to attack. But they didn't They just stood there. Waiting... Haerthos realized it a second to late. "Sora!" he bellowed, racing toward the wall they were backed against, "Kairi!" Sora spun around, but it was too late. Swarms of Neoshadows were pulling Kairi into a dark hole that had appeared in the wall. Kairi was screaming, and shouting as they grabbed her arms and forced her into the hole. Sora shouted and raced to grab her, but swarms of shadows clung at his feet, and he couldn't move. He slashed at them with the Keyblade, shouting all the time, and reaching for Kairi. Haerthos raced toward Kairi, his feet skimming above Heartless reach. He was about to reach her...

But a thudding pain hit him in the side, and he realized it as the sign he had strayed to far. He tried to turn around, but he had gone to far. He fell to his knees, a sharp clawing nawing at his body. He screamed silently to himself and new racking pains tore at his body. He felt Sora's pain meter break the danger bar, not only on physical but on emotional too. The kid was a wreck. He could die. Haerthos forced himself up, trying to ignore the stabs of endless pain that flashed through his chest. He may be a perverted pain, but he was still the Keyblade master. Haerthos stumbled over to Sora, where piles of shadows had overcome him and had him covered in one big pile of darkness. Haerthos couldn't see Sora anymore, or the Keyblade and that meant the light had been overheated. Smoking hot like an overused cellphone. I'm going to have to pay a fortune for this, Haerthos thought miserably through his pain, and as time slowed again to fit his need, he opened his mini computer in his pack, and opened the Keyblade file. Yup, just as he thought, the fuse was burnt. He rerouted the Keyblade from its battery pack to a temporary linkup with the star he rented. That star was a beauty, almost seven million years old, and its nuclear core generated grade A light. Enough to keep the Key going for a couple of years. But that was exspensive... "Here it goes," muttered Haerthos and pressed the 'CONNECT' button, and a loading screen came onto view. After a few mind blowing minutes of stop-time, the screen read finished, and the Keyblades stats jumped up a few bars. Haerthos frowned. 'Hmmm' a low signal, but it will have to do.' He clicked activate as time slowly worked its way back to normal.

The pile of darkness exploded in light, and Sora stood, Keyblade shining with the infinite light of a burning star. He swung his blade viciously in arc after arc, as Haerthos helped him finish some of the tough ones. After all the Heartless dissapeared, Sora fell to the ground crying. Haerthos felt his sadeness, despair, and temporary insanity meter hit high, and uncomfortably stood while Sora bawled his eyes out. Suddenly, the same prickling feeling he got when the Heartless came arrived again. Haerthos spun around, not willing to be caught with his pants down again. He saw no-one. Then behind him he heard a soft, cruel, cold voice. It said, "Hello Haerthos. Long time no see." Haerthos turned around to see a Black Hooded figure, standing in the moonlight. His cloak was dark and shadowy black, and he had coal black combat leggings beneath it. He radiated power and destruction. He removed his hood and shook his silver long hair. His blue eyes flashed at Haerthos, and Haerthos felt a feeling he had not felt since his night at the dance acadamy almost five thousand years ago. Fear. He kept his calm as he spoke back to the silver haired figure. "Hello Xehanort," he said bravely, although inside he desperately wished he was fixing Kairi's belt or something.

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There what do you think? I hope you like it, but please try post even if you don't. Thanks. (PS thanks to darkiasac for the spacing advice. he is my first replyer)

 

[darkisaac]

Very Original, but needs a few more spaces between paragraphs.

 

[Prophet]

Is that better? Thanks for the comment. Please keep replying so I can continue to write this story.

 

[namine's shadow]

that was funny! It just needs some good sentence starters and conjuntions to it to make it more interesting for the reader. like therefore, however, but, firstly, suddenly and all that. it helps.

 

[Krazy]

The title made meh laugh. xD And I REALLY like this. It's originality pwns. xD Poor ... -scrolls up- Haerthos. D: No respect, man. More soon! <3

 

[Prophet]

Thanks a bunch for the replies, you guys rock. Okay here is the next chapter.

Haerthos stared up at those blue eyes and gulped. This was one guy who could make his life miserable and get away with it. And he did just that. Behind that dark black cloak and blue eyes was a crazy and powerhungry corporate tycoon who manipulated both Heartless and Nobodies for his own means.With a deadly combination of smarts, powerhunger, and money, Xenahort was one guy you did not want to cross. And unfortunately Haerthos had done that twice all ready. A personal visit from this guy could not be good..."Hello Xenahort," replied Haerthos cooly, trying hard to not sweat, "Try to take over any new worlds today?" At this, Xenahort smiled, but beneath the calm exterior, Haerthos could tell that a tsunami of rage bellowed just beneath the surface, and could be unleashed at any moment.

"No," replied Xenahort, calmly brushing a bit of dust off his jet black coat, "In fact I came here to see you." Haerthos frowned. Xenahort smiled again, in that corrupt, evil, madman kind of way. For once, Haerthos wished that someone couldn't see him. After experimenting with magnetic lenses, Xenahort had created special contacts that allowed him to see the spiritual world, which had lead to the discovery of Haerthos. Perhaps that also lead to his maddening obsession with spirits, and Darkness and Light. "I had to get some minor distractions out of the way first,"continued Xenahort, flicking a fly that got to close, and straightening his coat around his shoulders. Haerthos snorted. Three failures later and he was still the perfect businessman.

"I wanted to make a point," said Xenahort, his blue eyes now turning to Sora, "Despite your meddling I still have control over the Heartless and the Nobodies willing to join the cause. Without his precious Kairi, your 'wielder' has no power or will to fight. He has fallen, and without him you are nothing. There is nothing you can do to stop me." "Stop you from doing what?" asked Haerthos, curious despite himself. Xenahort smiled. "Oh you would like me to tell you wouldn't you?" he smirked, knowingly, "But I won't. It's not like one of those movies where a crazy villain tells the hero everything because he's going to die anyway. You are going to die clueless of what you can't stop." Haethos growled threateningly, and Xenahort almost laughed, but caught himself. "Growling," he chuckled, smugly, "How drole..." "Shut your face!" shouted Haerthos leaping toward Xenahort with a burst of fury.

Xenahort laughed as Haerthos flew right through him and crashed face down on the ground. "Spirits can't touch humans..." he chided him as Haerthos threw punch after punch at the annoyling grin on Xenahort's face. Haerthos screamed and tried to throttle Xenahort with his blistering hands, but Xenahort just laughed again. "I'll leave you to the Heartless," he said, ending the vicious tirade of useless punches Haerthos was throwing at him. "You better not..." shouted Haerthos, but Xenahort just smiled and vanished back into thin air.

Haerthos howled at the moon, and smashed his fists into the ground in anger. Life was so unfair! He was a convict, but he didn't deserve this! Opening treasures, unbuckling female buckles, and saving the world! For heaven's sake, didn't he get some say in all this? "WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THIS!" he shouted to the empty night of Destiny Island. Haerthos fell onto his knees and cried. Well, not really cried. More like, shook with unbelievable rage and grief. Haerthos shook, racking sobs shaking his body as he pounded his fist into the sand again and again and again. It wasn't fair. He deserved to have a normal life. He deserved to die... "I am sorry," he shouted to the night sky, "I'm sorry for what I did, isn't that what this is all about?" He stared back at the empty sky, tears blurring his vision. "ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!" he shouted again, panic edging on his voice. "I don't want to save the world again!" he shouted again, raising his voice so that it echoed around the island, mockingly shouting back at him. "I don't want to do this," he whispered quietly, tears clouding his vision again, "I- I want to sleep. To die."

Haerthos sat, consumed by his thoughts for what seemed like hours. He would have sat there for longer unless he hadn't felt a comforting familiar tug on his heart. He stood and turned, and sure enough, Sora was concious, and trying to stand. Wordlessly, Haerthos went over to Sora and helped him up. To Sora it felt like a warm glow of strength that gave him the strength to stand up. Sora stood and looked around, stricken by what had just happened. He looked out at the sea, right through Haerthos and whispered softly. Haerthos could hear him and nodded. Right, he thought, staring out to the cool blue waters he had fantasized swimming in before. They seemed so dark and threatening now. He sighed, and followed Sora as he walked across the sandy beach. Time to save the world again. Haerthos groaned. This would end up costing him a fortune.



Haerthos was awake when Sora woke up. Come to think of it, I'm always awake when he wakes up, he thought bitterly, tired after the long night. Cursed as guardian of the Keyblade and wielder, he had to stay awake to watch for Heartless. That meant no sleep. I haven't slept in five thousand years... thought Haerthos, staring out at the entrance of the Secret Place. It was just beginning to get light outside. Dawn. Sora had wandered the beach until he had fallen asleep in the Secret Place, crying over Kairi's picture on the wall. In spite of the situation, Haerthos still kept his grumpy attitude about Sora. For the love of pete, the kid still sucks his thumb! he grumbled as Sora roused himself, sucking ferociously on his thumb. Haerthos groaned and tried to kick Sora a couple of times to speed him up, but of course that did nothing useful. He was forced to wait until Sora had become fully awake enough to stop sucking his thumb. Sora sat up, wiping his thumb on his sleeve. Haerthos groaned again, which was becoming a usual morning thing for him. Sora sat, thinking. Haerthos could hear his thoughts through the brain moniter in the Keyblade. He was thinking about the Heartless, and Kairi. Whenever he thought about Kairi, his temporary insanity meter inched up. Haerthos was bewildered. Was this really what love did to you? I guess so, he mused to himself. Sora was thinking about how he could get to the outside worlds, and maybe find out was happening to the others. He summoned the Keyblade and stared at it wonderlingy. Haerthos was already establishing a link via government sattelite. "All right baby," he said, patting the screen as he pulled up the site for gummi ship rentals and the stats for his star, "Looks like I'm going to have to take a couple of million years of power off your core." he loaded the program and clicked 'ENTER.'

The Keyblade immedietly began to light up and shone like a fiery star in the night sky. Which was exactly what it was doing... thought Haerthos, thinking sourly about the bill he was going to get from the government conscidering the power he was taking from that star. Sora stood, shielding his eyes from the bright glow as a fiery gold light blasted from the end of the keyblade and shot straight out of the cave and into the sky. Sora raced outside with Haerthos hot on his tail. They both gaped as the dawn sky broke with vibrant shades of blue, green, and red. A cascade of rainbow danced on the sky as then heavens were ripped open and the wall of the world dissolved. A giant ripping noise like a million angry bees stung the air and a blast of wind hit them like shrapnel from a grenade. They stood there, standing hard against the blast of wind, which tore at their very bodies. Even Haerthos, who was a spirit, felt the magical wind tearing at his frail body. Suddenly, the wind stopped. The skies cleared, and the waves calmed. The sky looked the same, but they both could tell there was something different. It was open, ripe for exploring. Haerthos opened his minicomputer and activated the gummi ship rental site. He pulled up the voice mail program and dialed a number. The line rang for a moment and then a voice answered.
"Gummi Ship Rentals, how my I help you?"
"Hey Sam, it's Haerthos," he said, smiling as Sora looked in amazement at the Keyblade, as if seeing it for the first time, "I need a ship. What do you have that's fast?"

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All right that's the next part. Please keep replying. This was a kind of serious chapter, but I tried to make it still a bit funny. Thanks for all who replied all ready, and please reply so more, be it good or bad. Thanks again.

PS perhaps some backround on Xenahort would be good. Officially Xenahort was the vice president of the Experimental Science and Weapons section of LIGHT Industries, the company that had manufactured the prototype Keyblade. Unofficially, he was the head of a shadowy organization called Organization XIII, an organization that used stolen technology to create weapons and machines to research and manipulate darkness. After his failure with opening Kingdom Hearts, he has a new plan. I wonder what it is...

 

[iN{THInKR}Side]

It si very good. It took a while to reas. I thought it was going to take forever. I am of many questions... so sora can't see Haerthos or does he end up seeing Haerthos? That's what I'm copnfused about. The first chapter was funny,though. It made me laugh. The second was like you said, a bit more serious.
Keep it up. I like what people could write in their own perspective of thinking.

 

[Endgame]

Not bad...aside from the pointless and rather distasteful sex references. I really can't see why you'd need to put that in there...after all, this section is supposed to be G...13+

Apart from that, it's an original, and I have to say, hilarious idea. Very well done.

 

[Riku the law]

dude these are awsome an hwo do u ppls write all this good stuff

 

[Prophet]

hey Im sorry about the sex Zetsumi, but I thought it would be funny. But your right. I shouldn't compromise values because it draws people. I will try to keep it more apropriate in the future. Thanks to all the others who came replied too, I will update when a few more people reply. as for the question, no Sora cannot see Haerthos... yet. I am not sure of whether I will allow Sora to see him in the future, although that might make Haerthos happy. Thanks to all who replied, and thank you Zetsumi for putting me in my place and for reminding me what my priorities are. I owe you big time.

 

[Dark mage231]

haha lol but I'm gonna have to cencore it -takes out a knife and starts to poke everyone's eyes out-.... or maybe just do this -tapes everyone eyes down- there now your like Riku except your not.. you don't have a blindfold didn't act in KHI, KH CoM, or KHII don't have gray long hair (or do you) don't weild a keyblade (or do you) didn't betray Sora, didn't turn into Ansem (or did you) didn't rank or Sora's heart (or did you.... =)..) didn't fight Roxas

 

[Prophet]

All right everyone thanks for the replies, and here is the next chapter.

Haerthos sat at the gummi ship’s prow. Although maybe, clung for life was a better word. Haerthos screamed and gasped for air as the gummi ship shot forward like a rocket and spun viciously into space. Sora was shouting and yelling in glee, the ships wheel firmly in his hand. Haerthos could see asteroids and Heartless ships spinning around them, flying by so fast that they looked like colored streaks. He groaned as a flying metal ship flew past and struck smashed into an expensive looking gismo on the side of the gummi ship. “There goes three years of my budget,” he moaned as the expensive transmitter burst into flame and exploded in a fireball of, well, fire. Why does saving the world have to be so expensive anyway? Haerthos gripped his seat with sweating palms as the G-Force of the gummi ship rattling his stomach and pressing his body against his seat so he could barely move. Normally, the laws of gravity and inertia don’t apply to spirits, but unfortunately the gummi ship rides were always an exception. Something to do with the origins of the gummi pieces… I’ll be sure to look it up, thought Haerthos, his body squished like a bug against the leather seat, his spiritual breath being forced out of his screaming lungs. Suddenly, a red dot blipped on the radar screen, and the file opened automatically. A world was in sight, breathed Haerthos, if he could have breathed, and his mind leaped for joy. The world was identified, and the automated voice said over the speaker system, “Approaching World, identified world as… Radiant Garden. Approximate time until arrival: 5 minutes…” Haerthos saw a grin in Sora’s eyes, and he saw him reach for the accelerator. “N-no,” he managed to spit out against the already unbearable gravity of our speed, “D-don’t touch the…” But Sora couldn’t hear me. He grabbed the accelerator, cranked it up to max speed, and floored the pedal.

Haerthos managed to let out one scream before he was blasted against the back of his chair, the leather he had yearned for when he bought the ship no longer comforting. He was pressed, as if a thousand Heartless were upon him, against his seat, and he felt the force of the ship crushing his frail, spiritual body. He saw the fuel tank dropping rapidly and almost cried. That was HIS money burning! He wanted to walk up and hit Sora, but he couldn’t even move a muscle. His entire being was about to be squashed out of existence. He closed his eyes. Goodbye cruel world, he thought, as his last breath was forced out of him, At least now I will get to sleep… Suddenly the gummi ship stopped, and Haerthos went flying like a whirl wind of spiritual essence and crashed against the gummi ship windshield. A spidery crack crept up the windshield where Haerthos had land on it, and he opened his eyes to see Sora staring at him. For one moment, Haerthos hoped beyond hope that Sora had seen him. But Sora just shook his head and walked to the hatchway, muttering about maybe landing the ship to hard.


Haerthos groaned as he got out of the ship and looked at the damage. He cried softly as he rubbed the formerly crimson hull, which had now been scarred beyond belief. He screamed when he saw the fins jagged and twisted. And although he couldn’t sleep, he almost passed out when he saw the engines on fire. He quickly pulled out a P5 600 Liquid Nitrogen canister, which he kept handy for anytime Sora had needed to use a blizzard magic attack, and sprayed ferociously on the fire. I mean, come on, he fumed silently as he sprayed the liquid nitrogen on the flames, extinguishing them, Some magician guy cons the kid into thinking he can do magic, and now I need to buy a whole new arsenal. He continued to ramble as he put on the suppressant, muttering about how flamethrowers were expensive, and how a tornado isn’t as cheap is it use to be, and how they canceled the Buy 2 for 1 deal for the Thunder Makers at Heart-Mart. He then stepped back, and sighed as his money smoldered in the wind. You had to sacrifice a lot to save the world. Those novelists have no idea… He felt a tug, and turned to see Sora walking up the path to Merlin’s house. He sighed again, taking one last sad look at the broken hull, and trudged up the hill after him.

Sora was walking up the hill to Merlin’s house, with Haerthos still behind him, muttering about the tax on potions they had installed. But, when Haerthos quit his complaining for a second, he noticed Sora had stopped. He was thinking, looking around. Is it possible he felt Heartless before I did? thought Haerthos, wondering as he looked around. Nah it was impossible… and of course, that was when the ten Neoshadows fell from the sky.

Sora leaped into action, summoning the Keyblade in one fell swoop. Haerthos ran up to Sora, striking a Neoshadow as he passed with his fist. They stood back to back, Sora holding the Keyblade and Haerthos holding his fists in the air, one always ready to reach into his pack. They waited for a second, an unnatural breeze of silence swept over the ground, and for a moment, both Haerthos and Sora looked over their shoulders and stared at each other. And then they attacked. Sora raced forward with his Keyblade, performing a horizontal cross swing with ease, and following up with a finishing uppercut. The Neoshadow exploded in a cataclysm of light, and Haerthos burst through the cloud, smashing his spiritual fist into the Neoshadow’s face. Sora spun around, the Keyblade flashing in a glittering arc as he shouted the word for fire. In the same movement, Haerthos brought up from his pack a portable FIREWALL, used for wolf ambushes by extreme nature hikers. Better then the hottest of pepper spray. He pressed the button, and shouted as he tossed the ring around Sora. A wall of flames erupted around Sora, shredding the Heartless to pieces as the torrent of fire incinerated every one of them. The fire roared in its blazing fury, and then vanished as soon as it had come. Haerthos punched a fist in the air with victory and Sora swung his Keyblade in a fancy salute. Just like riding a bike, thought Haerthos, smiling as they celebrated their first victory over the Heartless.

Of course that was seconds before another two dozen Neoshadows appeared. Haerthos groaned and Sora swung his Keyblade in defense. The FIREWALL wouldn’t work again until it cooled down, but of course this little urchin thinks his magic has run out. They’d have to do this battle by strength. They prepared for the onslaught as the Heartless grouped to attack. But suddenly a flash of flame and steel erupted between the Heartless, and it was accompanied by a flash of silver and a blast of lightning. The Heartless erupted in a cloud of black smoke, so thick it even made Haerthos cough. Once the cloud cleared and Sora and Haerthos recovered from the coughing fit, they looked up and saw four familiar faces staring down at them. Sora smiled, and even Haerthos looked glad for once. Staring down at them was Leon, Goofy, Donald, and the King, Mickey.

Sora shouted with joy, and Haerthos breathed a sigh of relief. The trinity was back and that could only mean good. Sora ran up to greet the four characters, and Haerthos, brushing off the dust from the fight, approached the King. “Your majesty,” he said, bowing to the King and bending on one knee, “It is good to see you again.”
“It’s good to see you too, Haerthos,” said Mickey, raising his large eyes toward Haerthos and staring at him, “We are going to need all the help you gain give us if we are to stop Xenahort.” Haerthos nodded and looked over to Leon. Leon couldn’t see him, as neither could Sora or Donald and Goofy, but the King had told Leon about him anyway, so he could be prepared for the King’s apparent conversations with empty air. Right now Leon was staring a bit over his left shoulder, obviously trying to decide where Haerthos actually was. Haerthos sighed as Leon gave a suspicious look to a leaf that happened to be floating in the breeze. Same old, same old… “Come,” the King whispered as Sora, Goofy, and Donald returned, “You must listen in to our meeting…” Haerthos nodded, and stood next to the King. The King then went over to greet Sora, as did Leon, looking cautiously at an ant that was crawling on the King’s shirt. Haerthos grinned. This was going to be fun.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy sat in chairs at Merlin’s house, waiting for the meeting to start. After a while, Yuffie, Aerith, and Tifa came in, and Haerthos and the king both tapped their feet impatiently while the others got reacquainted. And then Merlin came in and offered to make a cup of tea. Haerthos had almost dumped the kettle of water of his head. The King then had to take time to explain why he was shouting at the poor air for almost dumping the kettle Merlin had just made appear. Once they were all convinced he had shouted at Merlin for not making Earl Grey they calmed down. Haerthos was still grumbling about fake magic and how you can do anything with a portable transporter these days, when the King started the meeting.

“As you all know,” he began, showing them a slide on a projector that Leon had rigged up, “The Heartless have shown up again, and we have reason to believe it is Xenahort again.” Haerthos glowed with pride as the King told them the information Haerthos had told the King, about the kidnapping of Kairi, and the problem at hand. “The problem is,” the King shouted over the loud voices talking, “Is that we know that Xenahort is marshalling Heartless and collecting Nobodies, but we do not know where he is getting them from. After we destroyed his Nobody and his Heartless, he has no power to draw on to create Heartless, to create Nobodies. There are three possible reasons for this…” The group, including Haerthos leaned forward to listen. “One,” the King continued, “is that somehow Xenahort has rebuilt the machine that his Heartless created to create other Heartless. These Heartless would have stolen Hearts and created more Nobodies to join his cause. Two, is that he has found a way to spontaneously create Heartless and Nobodies at Zero cost. Or three,” he looked gravely at all of them in the room; “He has seized Kingdom Hearts from under our noses and is using it to bring an army of Heartless from the Door to Darkness.”

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Ok,thats the next chapter. I hope you all like it! Thanks to all who already replied and please reply again. Also please reply if you have a suggestion or question, or jsut want to critique me. I can take it. Thanks

PS I also bet everyone is going to ask me why can Mickey see Haerthos. Its a long story and I might tell you one day in a future chapter, but youll never know if you don't reply, so please reply! Thanks a bunch.

 

[Prophet]

sorry for double posting, but I was wondering if any one was still interested in this fanfic. I'd like to continue it but if no one wants me too, then I'll just go on with life. So if you want me to continue, please reply. Or if not I'll just stop adding to it. Thanks for the help.

 

[Marluxia_Xii]

REPLY HERE! I love the story, very original with the whole KH inpiration, y'know? ^^ See, you're story shall not die!

 

[Keyblade Smitey]

I love the story too, very funny and original ideas! It pwns the heck out of my fanfic, so maybe I can pick up tips!

I so badly want to see Haerthros become corporeal! It would be so funny to see sora realise all his 'magic' and 'keyblade powers' came from some old, kinky dude with a flamethrower!

 

[Prophet]

thanks guys, I really appreciate your words. I guess I will continue it then. I have an idea for the next chapter, but I'm going to wait until I think it up fully and have some more posts. But thanks a lot for keeping me going. You guys rock!

 

[iN{THInKR}Side]

This fan fic is awesoem. It actually got me interested out of all the other fanfics.Keep going. I didn't read this much just to stop!

 

[Keyblade Smitey]

Me: Yeah updart soon, I need my weekly fic fix!

Zorsan: ...You're adicted to fanfics?

 

[Prophet]

Okay this is the next update. It is kind of long and has some inapropriate things in it (Haerthos gets himself a girlfriend) but its good and I hope you all like it. Thanks for posting before, and I'll never forget the people that kept me going when I was stuck with no posters. Thanks a lot guys.

The room fell into a hushed silence, except for Haerthos who broke out into uncontrollable laughter. Roaring in mirth, he rolled on the floor, holding his ribs and gasping as King Mickey looked sternly at him. “This is no laughing matter,” he said, severely looking at the patch of air where Haerthos lay laughing. Of course this lead to questions of why the King was telling the empty air to stop laughing, and after that they had to stop Leon from slaughtering the poor grasshopper that happened to be on the floor at the time. Once everyone had settled down, King Mickey took his position on the podium again, and looked sternly quickly at Haerthos, who had quieted down, and began to speak again. “This is very serious,” he said, looking gravely at every one of them, “If my theory is correct, then this means the battle has already been lost. If Xenahort has somehow managed to capture Kingdom Hearts without us knowing, he could easily extract hundreds of Heartless armies, which would keep being reinforced with Heartless from our own darkness…” They all sat in silence, even Haerthos. Haerthos thought, now worried. IF Xenahort had managed to capture Kingdom Hearts, things could get complicated really quickly. Kingdom Hearts was a secret government vault that contained all kinds of untold secrets. The names of the past Keyblade testers, records of Heartless experimentation, the secrets of eternal life, you name it. It was all in there. There was also a rumored document, called the Ansem File, which contained all the unpublished reports of the scientist, Ansem the Wise. Who knows what kinds of untold secrets and discoveries Ansem had made that he had not told the public? Xenahort would have a field day with all his ex-master’s research, and this time, his master was not there to stop him. Yes if Xenahort had seized Kingdom Hearts, this was REALLY bad. And not just the, oh my gosh my wife just caught me cheating on her kind of bad. This was OH MY GOSH MY WIFE JUST CAUGHT ME CHEATING ON HER kind of bad. Which is really bad.

Mickey looked at their grim faces and knew he had their attention. “What we need to do is find out what exactly Xenahort has done,” he said, rapping the slide projection on the wall, “In order to do that we will need to make a visit to a familiar place.” Haerthos and the others leaned forward to look at the slide. It showed a familiar world in the midst of shadows. Sora shouted, and Haerthos nodded in recognition. “Twilight Town,” he whispered as Sora celebrated the return to the place where their second adventure all began.

As Mickey waved his Keyblade at the projector, something strange happened. Time began to slow, and his words became a familiar monotonous throb. Suddenly Haerthos was blinded by a flash of burning light. He shouted and covered his eyes as the light swirled in a maelstrom of energy and power. When the light finally receded, a dazed Haerthos opened his eyes, lights blinking all around his vision. And in the center of his blinking lights was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She had pale, shining skin, shining blue eyes, and crimson brown hair that radiated the essence of mystery and intrigue. Her sapphire blue eyes turned to him, reflecting the same color of the heavenly ocean of Destiny Island. For once, he was rendered speechless. The girl smiled at him, showing a dazzling smile that would have sent any mortal falling to he knees, drooling in awe.

She then turned to the slide projector and began toying with the slide projector. She tinkered with it for a while, reaching into a pouch at her waist every now and then for a tool or item. Haerthos just stared at her with his mouth wide open. It had been so long since a woman actually NOTICED him. And what a woman at that. He looked at her, in her dark purple shirt, which halted a little above her navel, revealing a stomach strong and hardened by years of labor and working out. His eyes moved back and he stared at her. Her long, tan legs protruded from her skirt, which was also a dark purple and was affixed to her body with a pink, heart shaped buckle, a silver keyhole in the center. Haerthos groaned. What was it with buckles and locks? he thought, annoyingly remembering his last belt buckle. But, he admitted, staring at the beautiful girl before him, he wouldn’t mind at all if Sora had asked him to unbuckle HER belt buckle.

The girl kept working as Hearhtos continued to stare at her, unaware of his own rudeness. Then again, when was he ever aware of his rudeness? Suddenly she wiped some grease off her hands, and turned around.
“You don’t have to stare you know,” she said, turning her blue eyes on him, her piercing gaze shattering his dreamy existence. He gulped. Her full body was toward him now, and he had to fight himself not to stare at her again.
“I-I know,” he managed to get out, still vastly in shock of another woman having a conversation with him, “It’s just that… I mean I’ve never seen another… I mean, I knew the King had a Keyblade… but…”
“You thought the King unlocked the doors all by himself?” the girl laughed, tossing her crimson brown tresses over her shoulder, “Come on, you’re a Keytaker, you know who has to pick the locks on those treasures.” Haerthos nodded, and rolled his eyes. The girl laughed. Haerthos felt a leaping feeling inside of his stomach, and he instantly chastised himself inwardly. Come on, he was a spirit! Spirits don’t love. They don’t even live. But there was something about this girl that made him feel different. What was it? Could it be… nah it couldn’t be. Haerthos dismissed it and looked again at the girl standing before him. She was now putting away her cloth, and stared at the slide projector, annoyed. “This is an old system,” she explained, running her hands through her hair so Haerthos could see her tan neckline above her purple shirt, “It’s a toughie to fix, I don’t know why the King has to use these ancient motion picture slide projectors. A holodisk is much easier to handle.” Haerthos nodded knowingly, enjoying the conversation until she said, “You seem like you have experience with these things. You want to give me a hand?” Haerthos almost gaped at her again.
“You want me? To help you?” he said, shakily trying to act casual. She smiled another one of her amazing smiles that made him just want to melt.
“Only if you want to,” she said coyly, and stepped back to let him at the machine.

Haerthos stepped forward and took a look at the machine. It was ancient all right. The thing still used wires for the keys sake. He took a quick look at discovered the fuel rod was burnt out. He reached into his item pack for a spare, all the time answering the questions that the girl bombarded him with. What was it like working with the Keyblade’s chosen one? What was it like working with a real Keyblade warrior? “I mean the King is amazing,” she continued, as Haerthos tried to concentrate on the machine and not on how close they were, “He is an excellent fighter and he and I make a great team. But sometimes I wonder what it would be like to work with the kid the Keyblade chose, and not the mouse that happened to find me in the world of darkness. I’m Ira by the way.”
“Believe me you’re not missing much,” Haerthos assured her as he plugged in the final cable, “And I’m Haerthos.” He dusted off his hands. “There, it should be working now. I think you might want to mention to the King that he needs a new generator on this thing.”
“Oh the King can’t see me,” said Ira, looking puzzled, “Just as Sora can’t see you.”
“Yes, but the King can see me,” said Haerthos, equally puzzled, “He always has, since we first met him in the door.”

“Hmmm,” thought Ira aloud, pushing back her hair as she thought silently about what Haerthos had said. Haerthos took the time to look at her hair, a crimson brown, very similar to Kairi’s hair, except it shone with unmistakable sheen and lust. She looked so pretty when she was thinking… He gulped. He was daydreaming again. He cleared his throat and patted the machine awkwardly. Ira snapped out of thought and laughed. “Oh I’m sorry,” she apologized, smiling when she said so at Haerthos, “I often zone out when I’m thinking… Comes from having no one to talk to for three thousand years.”
“I’ve been at it five thousand…” agreed Haerthos as he searched for a cloth to wipe his hands off.
“Oh here, use mine,” Ira said, and reached into her item pouch and handed him her cloth. Haerthos reached for it, and when their hands touched, a chill went up his body and the same feeling occurred in his stomach. Her hands were so soft… They stood awkwardly for a while, but Haerthos reluctantly pulled his hand away and wiped his hand with the cloth and handed it back to her. She took it quickly and put back in her pack. Another awkward silence followed.

“Oh by the way,” he quickly asked as time began to speed up again, “You said you’ve been at it three thousand years… What are you doing time for?” Ira laughed again, but then for once looked deeply uncomfortable.
“I have to do seven thousand years,” she replied, looking down uncomfortably as time sped up, “For bribery, code 7 industrial espionage, code three thefts, you get the picture. She began to fade back into the light, and Haerthos started after her.
“Wait, why don’t you stay?” he asked as she began to disappear.
“I don’t usually stay for these things,” she replied, tersely, as she faded away into the air, “I go to my own place.”
“Will I see you again? Can I come with you?”
“Maybe… But I don’t you can come to my place. No one has been able to so far.”
“There’s always an exception”
“Maybe...” She faded away into the night and Haerthos was left staring at the empty air. The King was talking again, something about them all going to Twilight Town to find that portal to the World that Never Was to find out what happened to Kingdom Hearts, but he didn’t care about that. Ira! Her name was as beautiful as she was. And that was pretty hot… But he felt more than just physical attraction. Could it be something else too? Haerthos didn’t know, but he did know he was going to meet her again. And she was going to bring him to her place, and tell him how she could get away from her key like that! If I could get more than 15 ft away from Sora… thought Haerthos dreamily, thinking about all the fun he could have if he didn’t have Sora lagging behind like a pet dog that won’t go away.

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Wow that was long, but congratulations if you actually finished it. I'll update as soon as some people post. Tell me if you like it please. Or if you don't then reply anyway with constructive criticism. This is the chapter I was talking about zetsumi, and I tried to make it non sexually sugestive without ruining the idea of Haerthos meeting another spirit. That is pretty. Thanks everyone else and enjoy.

 

[Prophet]

i know, double posting again, I'm sorry, but I had to bump. J'ai regrette (which is french for I'm sorry). If any one wants to reply, feel free to do so now...