AuroraX's Twelve Shots of Summer and Spring Entries

[AuroraX]

Going to post all my entries into one thread.

For my first entry, I'm going to do the prompt Confessions. Enjoy!

Spoiler Show

My tale


Is now the time to tell my tale?
Now that all have grown old and frail.
Will someone hear?
Will someone even care?

I was young
I was foolish
and so were you.
Every word you said was addictive,
romantic,
so untrue.
I held onto you like
you were my god.
If you wanted me to dance off a cliff,
I would have.

But you were no god
just a mortal who had a way with words.
You had a demon in you,
I swear you did.
I ate trash for you,
stole for you,
lied for you,
and even killed for you.

Is now the time to tell my tale?
Now that I am old and frail?
Would you even listen,
would you even care?

I had a gift,
I had a talent,
and it was forgotten.
What goodness was left,
is now all gone.

I am a shadow, formless, alone.
Wondering the earth I can only hope,
you suffer far worse then me.

So this is my tale.
My confession that is old and frail.
It's depressing and sad,
mostly of how I have gone mad.



​

 

[KingdomKey]

Bravo, AuroraX! This was absolutely brilliant! I know what it's like to make someone your personal god then feeling used after doing so much for that individual. To see for what they really were is a personal growth for the speaker, because they won't fall for the same manipulative words or the romantic notions of something that person says or does. I felt a whole lot of emotions coming from this piece, which was elegantly done, and I could relate to it on some level. Therefore, I say bravo!

 

[AuroraX]

Wow, I'm glad you liked it! Although I personally never been through this, I've known others who have and sort of channeled their words and feelings.

 

[AuroraX]

Alright, doing the 20 Minutes or Less challenge:

Spoiler Show

Currently Untitled Story
​

"You are bitter and you are weak. You are nothing more than a mere girl who tried to be a fighter. But my dear, you are no fighter!" He spat out as he kick her down the stairs.
She tumbled down, her body seemingly limp. She let out grunts as she went down, allowed herself to look frail and delicate. She needed him to believe she was all those things he said and more. Coughing, she attempted to push herself up, but collapsed back down instantly. That's when he let out a cruel laugh.
"How pathetic! Why don't you just die already?"
She lifted her head up slightly showing her bloody and bruised face. A small grin crept on to it, and in a course voice she said, "Do it. End me right here and now."
Without a word, he strolled down the cold stone staircase with an air of arrogance and grace. This was almost going to be too much for him. Almost. Unsheathing his sword, he took his time to meet her. If she was suffering, he wasn't going to put an end to it too quickly.
Almost stepping on her, he kneeled beside her and lifted her head up gently with one hand, making her stare at him.
"I will make this painful." He whispered before setting her head back down.
She said nothing. Watching as he stood up, she slowly inched her hand towards his ankle. Weakly, she held on and he laughed at her attempt to do...Whatever it was she was trying to do.
Then she dug her nails in and her grip on him became ferociously strong. Not only did she pierce the clothing, but his flesh as well. Her skin became as white as snow, her veins as green as the grass, and her eyes glowed an eerie blue. Tightening her grip, she released a poison into his blood stream. It crept into his back, paralyzing him, and then went for his heart. He was completely helpless and at her mercy now.
Letting go of his ankle, she stood up and placed her hand onto his face, covering it with her long, spider-like fingers.
"You were right about one thing Evett, I am no fighter. Nor am I a mere girl. I am older than your grandfather, more powerful than the Queen of the west, and far more beautiful than the Rose of the Lost Realm. I am no fighter. I am the Spider Queen and my dear child, you just fell into my web." As soon as she finished speaking, she dug her nails into his face, and the life that was in him faded and went to the Queen. All the blood and bruises left her face, her skin began to glow, and she felt brand new again.
Tossing Evett's lifeless body aside, the Queen waltz down the stairs on the lookout for her next victim.

Hope whoever reads it, enjoys it!

 

[KingdomKey]

This blew me away, because I wasn't expecting the girl to poison him at all! I thought she'd stab him instead by surprise or use back up. And you have me hooked with curiosity because, I don't know much about the Rose of the Lost Realm or Queen of the West. I'd love to know more about this world in all honesty with its unique female protagonist.

 

[AuroraX]

This blew me away, because I wasn't expecting the girl to poison him at all! I thought she'd stab him instead by surprise or use back up. And you have me hooked with curiosity because, I don't know much about the Rose of the Lost Realm or Queen of the West. I'd love to know more about this world in all honesty with its unique female protagonist.

Thanks for the feedback ^.^ I might use the Fantasy challenge to continue it...

 

[Grizzly]

Nice job on both of these! I'm not a fan of poetry personally, but I enjoyed what you did here. It was very relatable and easy to understand, you conveyed your feelings perfectly.

The twenty minute piece was great as well. It definitely has a lot of established lore and has me interested in the workings of the world and who that world's characters are, much like KitKat said. Nice job.

 

[AuroraX]

Nice job on both of these! I'm not a fan of poetry personally, but I enjoyed what you did here. It was very relatable and easy to understand, you conveyed your feelings perfectly.

The twenty minute piece was great as well. It definitely has a lot of established lore and has me interested in the workings of the world and who that world's characters are, much like KitKat said. Nice job.

Thank you so much for the feedback! I'm glad you liked the poem. As for the 20 min. story, I'm also glad you liked that since I am wanting to become a Fantasy author. ^.^

 

[Grizzly]

Thank you so much for the feedback! I'm glad you liked the poem. As for the 20 min. story, I'm also glad you liked that since I am wanting to become a Fantasy author. ^.^

You've got a great foundation for that. I write primarily fantasy and sci-fi myself, and I think the one thing you can do in order to take your writing up a notch in that genre is research. Research everything from medieval times and research all sorts of fictional lore, characters, and places from that time period. There's a lot of cliche in fantasy, and if you want to stand out, you need to understand fantasy and be able to put your own spin on it. You've definitely got an understanding of how world building works, so that's awesome to see that covered.

If I were to offer any more advice off of the twenty minute piece, it would be to create more believable dialogue. What you have already is actually pretty good, but there's always that temptation in fantasy to make it really dramatic and over the top. Don't get me wrong, that excessiveness works beautifully when used with some characters, but doesn't work with all of them. Again, what you have here is great, but making your dialogue more realistic and less telegraphed would go a long way. This is the first time I've offered true criticism (in hopefully a constructive manner, of course) to another writer, as I've been out of consistent practice for a bit, but I hope that some of that will help. I really like what you've got going so far. Let me know if you need anything.

 

[AuroraX]

You've got a great foundation for that. I write primarily fantasy and sci-fi myself, and I think the one thing you can do in order to take your writing up a notch in that genre is research. Research everything from medieval times and research all sorts of fictional lore, characters, and places from that time period. There's a lot of cliche in fantasy, and if you want to stand out, you need to understand fantasy and be able to put your own spin on it. You've definitely got an understanding of how world building works, so that's awesome to see that covered.

If I were to offer any more advice off of the twenty minute piece, it would be to create more believable dialogue. What you have already is actually pretty good, but there's always that temptation in fantasy to make it really dramatic and over the top. Don't get me wrong, that excessiveness works beautifully when used with some characters, but doesn't work with all of them. Again, what you have here is great, but making your dialogue more realistic and less telegraphed would go a long way. This is the first time I've offered true criticism (in hopefully a constructive manner, of course) to another writer, as I've been out of consistent practice for a bit, but I hope that some of that will help. I really like what you've got going so far. Let me know if you need anything.

I've been trying for years now to knock out a true sci-fi story. I've written two dystopian-equse sci-fi novels (one was also a fantasy. It was super interesting and weird), but never a classic sci-fi. I always struggle with it for some reason. I'm currently working on a rewrite of one of my fantasy novels that I hope to one day turn into a series and let me tell you, I've done probably too much research. I'm sort of taking from various mythologies and legends. It's been hard to find ones people haven't used yet, so I have ended up creating a lot of new things. I have a few cliches here and there, but unless they're important to the story, I'll probably knock them out in the revision.

Dialogue and description can sometimes be the bane of my existence. I always get worried that I didn't make what the character was saying clear enough or I've used said way too many times. I'll be honest in saying, this was the probably the second time I've written a scene like this, so it is a bit new territory for me. But no, seriously thanks for the criticism. It helps me stay in check as a writer.

 

[Grizzly]

Anytime! I find for more complex novels and stories, it really helps to outline the entire plot, chapter by chapter, before I start writing. Everyone has their own way of writing, but that helps me pick out and edit all of the plot annoyances before, and work on the actual details of what I'm writing after. A few cliches is certainly not a bad thing, as some recognizable tropes can help readers connect and associate with your story that is otherwise fresh and outlandish, so you should be in a good position with that as far as I can tell.

As for dialogue, I've written and rewritten so many conversations, so I definitely understand your struggle. I guess the important thing is to keep it feeling like just that, a conversation. It is important to not always tell, but show how your characters are feeling through what they do and what they say. Conveying emotion through dialogue is a great way to keep dialogue believable.

 

[AuroraX]

Okay so going to post my entry for the Three Day Challenge. This was supposed to be my Crossover entry, but it's turning out to be longer then I expected. In other words, I'm getting really nerdy and made things complicated. This is part 1 of the story and part 2 will be the Crossover entry...and if there's a part 3, well then I'll find a place for it. Enjoy! (P.S. This is like the first fanfic I've ever written all by myself, so bare with).

Spoiler Show

LOCATION: CASTLE OBLIVION (???)
TIME: (???).
SCOTT SUMMERS, ORORO MONROE, LOGAN (JAMES?) HOWLETT, STEVE ROGERS, NATASHA ROMANOFF, JAMES (BUCKY) BARNES, AND SEVERAL OTHERS WERE REPORTED _______. TWO ADOLESCENTS WERE ALSO REPORTED _______. THEY CLAIMED THEIR NAMES WERE KAIRI (???) AND RIKU (???).
OTHER INFORMATION: HEARTLESS AND NOBODIES ARE CREATURES THAT ARE BORN WHEN _____________ AND _________________________________. MUST CONFIRM INFORMATION.
_________ IS UP FOR INVESTIGATION.
​

PART 1


​

"We need to come up with a plan."

"Steve, I already have a plan. It's find her. I'm not going to loose her again."

"Wait! I'll come with you! She took my friend Riku!"

"And now I'm not alone. Little red here will keep me safe."

"I didn't say I wouldn't join you, I just think you should stop a moment and actually come up with a plan."

Those were the last words Scott Summers heard as he fought to stay conscious. Just moments ago him, some of his team mates (the X-Men), Captain America, Black Widow, and The Winter Soldier all woke up in a room that was completely white. None of them had any idea how they got there or what they were doing previously.

Then out of nowhere, in a portal of shadows and darkness came Scott's long lost love Jean Grey. As far he knew, she was long dead, consumed by the power of the Dark Phoenix. The sight of her made his chest ache and his whole body began to shake. An overwhelming amount of emotion came over him. To top it off, it seemed Jean was trying to make him pass out. His gut turned at the thought; she was about to do something that she didn't want him seeing.

He tried his hardest to fight against Jean's power, but she proved to be too much. His legs gave out and he fell into Storm's arms. Struggling to stay conscious, he watched as a beam of white light surrounded by darkness shot out from Jean's hand and beamed onto Natasha Romanoff. That's he started to fade. He could hear Bucky Barnes screaming, Wolverine and Cap having to hold him back. That's when the conversation happened. That when he heard the young girl's voice calling to them.

Something about her voice was so pure, so innocent. It almost woke up. But as soon as she stopped talking, his vision began to blur and soon he was out cold.

"I'm concerned Logan. This is not normal of Scott. He has faced issues like this before and always remained aware and alert. Why now, all of sudden, would he bend?" Ororo said as she cradled their leader in her lap.

Wolverine sighed, "It's hard to say. I mean, how do we know that Jean didn't do somethin' to him? If that's even Jean. I dunno about you Ororo, but she just didn't seem to be like Jean to me. There was somethin' off about her."

"No, you're right. There was something off. Her hair seemed lighter and her eyes they seemed greener, if that's even possible. Her suit, it was so different. Black and white seemed to swirl around it. The only thing normal about the suit was the golden Phoenix symbol. I do not think that is Jean, but someone who is trying to be her." She stated thoughtfully.

From behind them suddenly came the sound of a person clapping. Both Ororo and Logan turned their heads at the same time, although Logan released his claws as he turned.

"Wow, I'm impressed. You two are already starting to figure things out." There in a long dark cloak, stood a young man with bright green eyes and spiky red hair that reminded Ororo of fire. His voice was smooth and seemed to be eternally laced with sarcasm.

"And who the hell you might be bub?" Wolverine growled.

"The name's Axel, got it memorized?" Replied the young man with a smirk.

"The name's Wolverine," Logan said walking up to Axel and sticking his claws right at his throat, "'got it memorized' bub?"

"Easy there big guy, I mean no harm." Axel said putting his hands up, then looking over at Ororo and the unconscious Scott, "And the lady and the knocked out guy?"

"I am Storm and this is our leader, Cyclops. Our friend Jean, or who we thought was her, seemed to have done something to him. If you have any idea on-"

"That woman is Jean's Nobody," Axel said cutting Storm off, "it's what came from her when she lost her heart. It still holds her memories, but it isn't her."

"And how do you know she's a Nobody?" Wolverine asked gruffly.

"Because, I am one myself. I sort of know this stuff. Anyway, I should mention that no heart means no feelings. Sounds wonderful, doesn't it?" Axel mused.

"This is disconcerting. Not only does this 'Jean' has no emotions, she also seems to still have the power of the Phoenix. She could prove to be a very dangerous and powerful foe." Ororo stated, then looked up at Axel, "It must be strange to be without a heart, without feeling. I am truly sorry for you Axel."

At her words, he simply shrugged.

"Eh, you get used to it. But you're right, she is probably very dangerous. Which is why I'm on my way to get rid of her." Axel exclaimed.

"No offense bub, but you don't seem like the heroic type. What's in it for you?" Wolverine snarled.

"You're right, I'm not the heroic type. But I am the type of guy who understands that when there is a problem, it's best to fix it. Or in this case, get rid of it." Axel said crossing his arms.

"Good enough reason for me." Wolverine retracted his claws. "I think I'll join ya on this mission, if you don't mind."

Axel nodded, "Those claws of yours could be useful," then glanced over at Storm, "What about you?"

Storm sighed. She knew she could be very useful against this Nobody, but someone had to stay with Scott. She had a small feeling Logan wouldn't be willing to trade places.

Ororo shook her head.

"You two go on. I will stay here with Cyclops. Anyway, maybe you two will run into Captain America, The Winter Soldier, and that girl with the strange blade. I am sure they will be more than happy to help. Wolverine, on the way, I suggest you explain to Axel what Jean's Nobody did. Perhaps he may be able to bring more light to the subject."

Hmmm, a girl with a strange blade huh? Axel thought to himself, Was that strange blade a keyblade maybe? Saix told me to get rid of the Hou'ou and nothing more. But maybe it wouldn't hurt to learn about this girl.

Grinning, he looked Wolverine in the eye and said, "Well it's settled! Let's get going big guy, don't want to keep the big scary lady waiting."

~~~
​

 

[KingdomKey]

Crossover Part 1.

Wow, I'm impressed. Especially for your first fan-fiction. This was really good! I really like how much Axel is willing to use Wolverine to help take down Jean aka her Nobody. You nailed these characters head on. I'm quite excited to see how the confrontation goes. And I'm curious who this female keyblade wielder is. (If I'm correct, it'll either be Kairi or Xion.) You have me hooked right in for more. And you wrote this incredibly well. So I can't wait for Part 2.

 

[AuroraX]

Crossover Part 1.

Wow, I'm impressed. Especially for your first fan-fiction. This was really good! I really like how much Axel is willing to use Wolverine to help take down Jean aka her Nobody. You nailed these characters head on. I'm quite excited to see how the confrontation goes. And I'm curious who this female keyblade wielder is. (If I'm correct, it'll either be Kairi or Xion.) You have me hooked right in for more. And you wrote this incredibly well. So I can't wait for Part 2.

Yay! Glad you'd liked it! My main concern was getting the characters right (Axel was really difficult for me for some reason) so doing that made me happy haha.

 

[AuroraX]

Knocked out a poem for the What Frightens You? challenge and had some fun with it. Enjoy!

Spoiler Show

What are you afraid of?

What are you afraid of?
Why are you so scared?
Is it the creeping, crawling creatures
running through your hair?
Is it the shadows
that dance all through the night?
Or the screeching wind,
causing you to fright?

Banshee screams,
Werewolf howls,
Witch's cackle,
they don't scare me now.
They're only in stories,
hidden in our mind.

What am I afraid of?
What makes me scared?
What makes me shiver and swear?
There's only one thing
that can do that of course.
It's the monster on the outside
reading this poem.


​

 

[Grizzly]

The fanfic was certainly not bad for your first ever. Fanfics can be hard to write, especially in keeping already existing characters in character, so well done.

Much like what I spoke of on your first poem, I really enjoyed this one as well, and this is coming from someone who doesn't care for reading poetry. You answered the prompt perfectly, and while the poem was very easy to read and understand, there was just enough depth in the way you closed it out to keep me thinking once I had finished. Some of the best writings are those that stick with you once you've finished reading, ones that make you think about yourself and your own ideas. Nice one!

 

[KingdomKey]

What are you afraid of

I really like this poem because, it fits really well with the theme and flows extremely well together. Admittedly, I'm afraid of creepy crawly things in my hair. Like flies or bugs from whenever I go out running or biking. I don't mind spiders as much as I did before, cause I used to be frighten of them a lot. Otherwise, this was great and well done! I greatly enjoyed reading it. I'd dare say you have a knack for poetry!

 

[AuroraX]

What are you afraid of

I really like this poem because, it fits really well with the theme and flows extremely well together. Admittedly, I'm afraid of creepy crawly things in my hair. Like flies or bugs from whenever I go out running or biking. I don't mind spiders as much as I did before, cause I used to be frighten of them a lot. Otherwise, this was great and well done! I greatly enjoyed reading it. I'd dare say you have a knack for poetry!

I don't really mind spiders much myself ;D And thank you! I have a fun time writing it!

The fanfic was certainly not bad for your first ever. Fanfics can be hard to write, especially in keeping already existing characters in character, so well done.

Much like what I spoke of on your first poem, I really enjoyed this one as well, and this is coming from someone who doesn't care for reading poetry. You answered the prompt perfectly, and while the poem was very easy to read and understand, there was just enough depth in the way you closed it out to keep me thinking once I had finished. Some of the best writings are those that stick with you once you've finished reading, ones that make you think about yourself and your own ideas. Nice one!

Thanks! I'm glad you liked the fanfic and really glad you liked the poem as well!

 

[AuroraX]

Doing the Song challenge. For this one I choose the Irish song Danny Boy. I remember looking up the origin of the song a while back and learning that while it had multiple meanings, a lot of people said it was about a father/parent singing to their son and was inspired by that. I threw in some of the lyrics from the song as well. Hope you all enjoy it!

Spoiler Show

Danny Boy
​

There by an unmarked grave laid a letter untouched and unread. One day a vagabond came by, saw the letter, and felt obliged to read it. What was inside was not what the traveler expected:

To Daniel, my son.

Oh Danny boy, it's been far too long since we've talked and now we'll never be able to.
I wished I hadn't been a fool, I wished I heard your warnings, but no, I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe you'd actually go off to a new country, to a new world, and leave us behind. Most of all, I didn't believe you'd ever fight in a war. But you did and we're told you fought bravely. My boy, if you only would have told us and I would have told you that I was proud. I am proud. I will forever be proud of you my son.
Oh Danny boy, we'd hoped you'd come back when summer's in the meadow or when the valley's hushed and white with snow. You're mother waited for you to show up, in the sunshine and in the shadow. Oh Danny boy, how she loved you so.
But it seems you have come now that the flowers are dying and so am I inside. There are no words in the human language to describe the pain that a father feels when his son is gone. The only thing that keeps me going is your mother, I simply cannot leave her.
Oh Danny boy, the day will come when I rest like you are now and how sweet will that day be. For the first time in seventeen years, you and I will be side by side. Until then, I hope you sleep in peace.
Oh Danny boy, I loved you so.
​

Sincerely, your father.

When the vagabond has finished, they put the letter back in it's envelope and down at the grave. They pulled out a knife and as best as they could, they craved the name Danny into the gravestone. When the traveler's work was finished, they stood up, tipped their hat in respect, and went on their way hoping that the father had been reunited with his son.

 

[KingdomKey]

Danny Boy

You blew me away with your inspiration! This was a surprising twist! Especially how the song plays into it. Seriously, I loved the thought of a mere traveler going out of his way to read a letter to the deceased. That's a really human thing to do. Showing compassion and empathy like that. Furthermore, I really like how to craved Danny's name into the unmarked grave out of respect. It felt like the traveler set things right, giving the deceased some kind of peace, you know? Anyways, really enjoyed reading this one, AuroraX.