AuroraX's Twelve Shots of Summer and Spring Entries



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AuroraX

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Going to post all my entries into one thread.

For my first entry, I'm going to do the prompt Confessions. Enjoy!

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KingdomKey

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Bravo, AuroraX! This was absolutely brilliant! I know what it's like to make someone your personal god then feeling used after doing so much for that individual. To see for what they really were is a personal growth for the speaker, because they won't fall for the same manipulative words or the romantic notions of something that person says or does. I felt a whole lot of emotions coming from this piece, which was elegantly done, and I could relate to it on some level. Therefore, I say bravo! :)
 

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Wow, I'm glad you liked it! Although I personally never been through this, I've known others who have and sort of channeled their words and feelings. :)
 

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Alright, doing the 20 Minutes or Less challenge:

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Hope whoever reads it, enjoys it!
 

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This blew me away, because I wasn't expecting the girl to poison him at all! I thought she'd stab him instead by surprise or use back up. And you have me hooked with curiosity because, I don't know much about the Rose of the Lost Realm or Queen of the West. I'd love to know more about this world in all honesty with its unique female protagonist. :D
 

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This blew me away, because I wasn't expecting the girl to poison him at all! I thought she'd stab him instead by surprise or use back up. And you have me hooked with curiosity because, I don't know much about the Rose of the Lost Realm or Queen of the West. I'd love to know more about this world in all honesty with its unique female protagonist. :D
Thanks for the feedback ^.^ I might use the Fantasy challenge to continue it...
 

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Nice job on both of these! I'm not a fan of poetry personally, but I enjoyed what you did here. It was very relatable and easy to understand, you conveyed your feelings perfectly.

The twenty minute piece was great as well. It definitely has a lot of established lore and has me interested in the workings of the world and who that world's characters are, much like KitKat said. Nice job.
 

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Nice job on both of these! I'm not a fan of poetry personally, but I enjoyed what you did here. It was very relatable and easy to understand, you conveyed your feelings perfectly.

The twenty minute piece was great as well. It definitely has a lot of established lore and has me interested in the workings of the world and who that world's characters are, much like KitKat said. Nice job.
Thank you so much for the feedback! I'm glad you liked the poem. As for the 20 min. story, I'm also glad you liked that since I am wanting to become a Fantasy author. ^.^
 

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Thank you so much for the feedback! I'm glad you liked the poem. As for the 20 min. story, I'm also glad you liked that since I am wanting to become a Fantasy author. ^.^
You've got a great foundation for that. I write primarily fantasy and sci-fi myself, and I think the one thing you can do in order to take your writing up a notch in that genre is research. Research everything from medieval times and research all sorts of fictional lore, characters, and places from that time period. There's a lot of cliche in fantasy, and if you want to stand out, you need to understand fantasy and be able to put your own spin on it. You've definitely got an understanding of how world building works, so that's awesome to see that covered.

If I were to offer any more advice off of the twenty minute piece, it would be to create more believable dialogue. What you have already is actually pretty good, but there's always that temptation in fantasy to make it really dramatic and over the top. Don't get me wrong, that excessiveness works beautifully when used with some characters, but doesn't work with all of them. Again, what you have here is great, but making your dialogue more realistic and less telegraphed would go a long way. This is the first time I've offered true criticism (in hopefully a constructive manner, of course) to another writer, as I've been out of consistent practice for a bit, but I hope that some of that will help. I really like what you've got going so far. Let me know if you need anything.
 

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You've got a great foundation for that. I write primarily fantasy and sci-fi myself, and I think the one thing you can do in order to take your writing up a notch in that genre is research. Research everything from medieval times and research all sorts of fictional lore, characters, and places from that time period. There's a lot of cliche in fantasy, and if you want to stand out, you need to understand fantasy and be able to put your own spin on it. You've definitely got an understanding of how world building works, so that's awesome to see that covered.

If I were to offer any more advice off of the twenty minute piece, it would be to create more believable dialogue. What you have already is actually pretty good, but there's always that temptation in fantasy to make it really dramatic and over the top. Don't get me wrong, that excessiveness works beautifully when used with some characters, but doesn't work with all of them. Again, what you have here is great, but making your dialogue more realistic and less telegraphed would go a long way. This is the first time I've offered true criticism (in hopefully a constructive manner, of course) to another writer, as I've been out of consistent practice for a bit, but I hope that some of that will help. I really like what you've got going so far. Let me know if you need anything.
I've been trying for years now to knock out a true sci-fi story. I've written two dystopian-equse sci-fi novels (one was also a fantasy. It was super interesting and weird), but never a classic sci-fi. I always struggle with it for some reason. I'm currently working on a rewrite of one of my fantasy novels that I hope to one day turn into a series and let me tell you, I've done probably too much research. I'm sort of taking from various mythologies and legends. It's been hard to find ones people haven't used yet, so I have ended up creating a lot of new things. I have a few cliches here and there, but unless they're important to the story, I'll probably knock them out in the revision.

Dialogue and description can sometimes be the bane of my existence. I always get worried that I didn't make what the character was saying clear enough or I've used said way too many times. I'll be honest in saying, this was the probably the second time I've written a scene like this, so it is a bit new territory for me. But no, seriously thanks for the criticism. It helps me stay in check as a writer. :)
 

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Anytime! I find for more complex novels and stories, it really helps to outline the entire plot, chapter by chapter, before I start writing. Everyone has their own way of writing, but that helps me pick out and edit all of the plot annoyances before, and work on the actual details of what I'm writing after. A few cliches is certainly not a bad thing, as some recognizable tropes can help readers connect and associate with your story that is otherwise fresh and outlandish, so you should be in a good position with that as far as I can tell.

As for dialogue, I've written and rewritten so many conversations, so I definitely understand your struggle. I guess the important thing is to keep it feeling like just that, a conversation. It is important to not always tell, but show how your characters are feeling through what they do and what they say. Conveying emotion through dialogue is a great way to keep dialogue believable.
 

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Okay so going to post my entry for the Three Day Challenge. This was supposed to be my Crossover entry, but it's turning out to be longer then I expected. In other words, I'm getting really nerdy and made things complicated. This is part 1 of the story and part 2 will be the Crossover entry...and if there's a part 3, well then I'll find a place for it. :p Enjoy! (P.S. This is like the first fanfic I've ever written all by myself, so bare with).

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KingdomKey

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Crossover Part 1.

Wow, I'm impressed. Especially for your first fan-fiction. This was really good! I really like how much Axel is willing to use Wolverine to help take down Jean aka her Nobody. You nailed these characters head on. I'm quite excited to see how the confrontation goes. And I'm curious who this female keyblade wielder is. (If I'm correct, it'll either be Kairi or Xion.) You have me hooked right in for more. And you wrote this incredibly well. So I can't wait for Part 2. :)
 

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Crossover Part 1.

Wow, I'm impressed. Especially for your first fan-fiction. This was really good! I really like how much Axel is willing to use Wolverine to help take down Jean aka her Nobody. You nailed these characters head on. I'm quite excited to see how the confrontation goes. And I'm curious who this female keyblade wielder is. (If I'm correct, it'll either be Kairi or Xion.) You have me hooked right in for more. And you wrote this incredibly well. So I can't wait for Part 2. :)
Yay! Glad you'd liked it! My main concern was getting the characters right (Axel was really difficult for me for some reason) so doing that made me happy haha.
 

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Knocked out a poem for the What Frightens You? challenge and had some fun with it. Enjoy!

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The fanfic was certainly not bad for your first ever. Fanfics can be hard to write, especially in keeping already existing characters in character, so well done.

Much like what I spoke of on your first poem, I really enjoyed this one as well, and this is coming from someone who doesn't care for reading poetry. You answered the prompt perfectly, and while the poem was very easy to read and understand, there was just enough depth in the way you closed it out to keep me thinking once I had finished. Some of the best writings are those that stick with you once you've finished reading, ones that make you think about yourself and your own ideas. Nice one!
 

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What are you afraid of

I really like this poem because, it fits really well with the theme and flows extremely well together. Admittedly, I'm afraid of creepy crawly things in my hair. Like flies or bugs from whenever I go out running or biking. I don't mind spiders as much as I did before, cause I used to be frighten of them a lot. Otherwise, this was great and well done! :) I greatly enjoyed reading it. I'd dare say you have a knack for poetry!
 

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What are you afraid of

I really like this poem because, it fits really well with the theme and flows extremely well together. Admittedly, I'm afraid of creepy crawly things in my hair. Like flies or bugs from whenever I go out running or biking. I don't mind spiders as much as I did before, cause I used to be frighten of them a lot. Otherwise, this was great and well done! :) I greatly enjoyed reading it. I'd dare say you have a knack for poetry!
I don't really mind spiders much myself ;D And thank you! I have a fun time writing it!

The fanfic was certainly not bad for your first ever. Fanfics can be hard to write, especially in keeping already existing characters in character, so well done.

Much like what I spoke of on your first poem, I really enjoyed this one as well, and this is coming from someone who doesn't care for reading poetry. You answered the prompt perfectly, and while the poem was very easy to read and understand, there was just enough depth in the way you closed it out to keep me thinking once I had finished. Some of the best writings are those that stick with you once you've finished reading, ones that make you think about yourself and your own ideas. Nice one!
Thanks! I'm glad you liked the fanfic and really glad you liked the poem as well!
 

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Doing the Song challenge. For this one I choose the Irish song Danny Boy. I remember looking up the origin of the song a while back and learning that while it had multiple meanings, a lot of people said it was about a father/parent singing to their son and was inspired by that. I threw in some of the lyrics from the song as well. Hope you all enjoy it!


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Danny Boy

You blew me away with your inspiration! This was a surprising twist! Especially how the song plays into it. Seriously, I loved the thought of a mere traveler going out of his way to read a letter to the deceased. That's a really human thing to do. Showing compassion and empathy like that. Furthermore, I really like how to craved Danny's name into the unmarked grave out of respect. It felt like the traveler set things right, giving the deceased some kind of peace, you know? Anyways, really enjoyed reading this one, AuroraX.
 
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