Aqua: Heart of Darkness



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Waves_Blade

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I decided to copy over a story I wrote to this site to get more feedback and exposure.

The concept of the story was a request I got to make a Dark!Aqua story. I contemplated the idea for a time, the Aqua we know in KH is a light-aligned, good-hearted, dutiful, and disciplined keybearer. An 'evil' version of her just didn't fit in my mind, but... as we know, Darkness isn't necessarily evil, Riku uses the darkness after all, and he's a good guy. As does Terra, he used the darkness, and while he was manipulated to hell and back by Xehanort, Terra WASN'T evil.

So the thought struck me...

Why not try taking Aqua down that path? Using darkness for the sake of the light, for her friends (at first...?).

The question then becomes... how?

The answer is easy enough: Master Xehanort.

But, the thing is, I did not want this to simply become a KH Birth By Sleep retelling with only Aqua and Terra's roles reversed, there's probably already one or two of those out there. I wanted something, more.

How/why you ask?

Aqua isn't Terra. She's not as gullible, and while Terra isn't stupid, Aqua IMO is smarter. Not to mention, magic is her focus over raw strength, her talents are different. The story begins when Master Xehanort brings Ventus to Eraqus, and while it may cross paths with the actual KH lore at times, it will eventually break off and become it's own complete monster, stretching far past KH: BBS. The story will probably follow Birth By Sleep up until only a certain point before things start spiraling out of control...

As a note: I reserve the right to alter and create lore to fit or further the Fanfiction (all rights/characters/ect of course belong to Square Enix to begin with). You will already notice a few changes in chapter one alone, as an example, Xehanort was already aware of Terra/Aqua before his visit to drop off Ventus in this story.

For this story's sake: Kingdom Hearts Chi and everything relating to it (unions, lux, book of prophecies, ect...) is not taken into account. If I need information for the Keyblade War for this story, I'll come up with my own. KH: Chi is... just a bit to weird for me to handle, sorry. I may or may not incorporate ideas and concepts from Kingdom Hearts III when it's eventually released.

Anyway, without further adieu...
[HR][/HR]
Book One of the Road to Dusk Series
Aqua: Heart of Darkness
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There you have it.

Hope you all enjoy.

Looking forward to any feedback ya'll so design to give.
 
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KingdomKey

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Okay, I've read up to seven chapters thus far! Do not fear! I'm reading this and absolutely loving it! Aqua being the one tainted with darkness was a really welcoming change of pace. I actually like her interactions with Master Xehanort, despite his ultra motives, he really is a good mentor for her and channeling her darkness. Seriously, this is so much better than what we had in BBS. I like how Ven was looking out for her and takes her side instead of Terra and Master Erqaus. You really nail the characters dead on too. I have no criticism to offer, cause I love everything you've written thus far. I'll let you know if that changes in the following chapters for me to still read. :)

Edit: This was a really big turn of events. It hurt a lot to see Aqua die. And watching Terra suffer by taking on Aqua's heartless and failing. Not being strong enough to stop the world from being consumed by Darkness. I'm glad Ventus was able to take Sora and Riku away from Master Xehanort. And Kairi, she's suffered just as much. Losing her grandmother and home. I love that she wants to get stronger. My favorite chapter out of all of them was when Kairi went to heal Aqua's heart. And the act of Aqua choosing her as the next keyblade wielder. I was on the edge of my seat to the very end. I hope you plan on continuing this in the future. It was an excellent read and well worth a lot of praise. <3
 
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Well, after binge reading this story for the last two days I can safely say this story completely blew me away. I'd even go as far as to say I like it more that BBS itself. You kept all of the characters true to themselves, and they stayed that way all to the end. The writing, aside from a few typos here and there, was excellent. I got the sense that I was right beside them through every they went through.

And, my absolute favorite part of this story, was Aqua herself. Like I said, you kept Aqua and all of the other characters true to themselves, which, one would think, would make it hard to write a story about Aqua (a character who is so full of light in the cannon) fall to darkness. But I will say you pulled it off flawlessly. One of my biggest problems with BBS was Terra's fall, and how he really only embraced the darkness at the end. But in your story Aqua's fall was slow and gradual. It started with little excuses here and there. Like how she would learn to use the darkness just so she could keep it at bay, and how she wanted to learn to use corridors to get from place to place faster to protect Terra and Ven. But as time went on she fully embraced it, just like Xehanort, while at the same time saying she wasn't like Xehanort. It all was incredibly well paced and managed to pull at my heart, and make me feel more of a connection with Aqua than any of the games have.

But now that I've finished I'm left want more, especially after that cliff hanger. So I tip my hat to you, and wait patiently for whatever you have in store.
 
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