Am I way too nice?



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS

Bufferino

super hyped
Joined
May 28, 2015
Messages
1,363
Location
Gaia
  • Ever Gentle and Kind
  • Fairest of them All
  • Keyblade Master
  • Life is Strange
  • Final Fantasy VII PC
  • In the Grid
I have a strong habit of giving people a second chance, and I may give them respect and trust even though I probably don't get it in return. I'm afraid of stepping up for myself at certain people because I may be too random or make a very flawed argument. I feel like I'm not direct or straightforward enough to do so.

So, the question is, am I way too forgiving or... nice? It is a flaw or is it a good thing?
 

VoidGear.

red gay
Joined
Jun 6, 2015
Messages
5,548
Age
24
Location
Germany
  • No Name
  • Put That Thing Back Where It Came From
  • Melodious Nocturne
  • Luna Diviner
  • Cloaked Schemer
  • Chilly Academic
I have a strong habit of giving people a second chance, and I may give them respect and trust even though I probably don't get it in return. I'm afraid of stepping up for myself at certain people because I may be too random or make a very flawed argument. I feel like I'm not direct or straightforward enough to do so.

So, the question is, am I way too forgiving or... nice? It is a flaw or is it a good thing?
It is a good thing as long as you don't harm yourself with it.
Being able to forgive others is a great thing, but if you hurt your own feelings in the process, that should be the second to stop.
 

catcake

eien no chikai
Joined
Mar 3, 2015
Messages
1,448
Location
Finland
  • The Gambler of Fate
  • Melodious Nocturne
  • Flurry of Dancing Flames
  • Luna Diviner
  • Cloaked Schemer
  • Chilly Academic
Hard to say since I don't know you, it depends on the situation. It's good to be understanding and all, but sometimes it's important to try and see the situation... more objectively? Rationally? Not sure what word I'm looking for, but basically don't let the feeling "I don't want to upset anyone" and the fear of being left alone for demanding respect and good treatment for yourself affect your decisions too much. It's better to be alone than be surrounded by people who treat you badly, even if it might not always feel like that in the moment.

Or something like that. Not sure how to explain it.
 

Bufferino

super hyped
Joined
May 28, 2015
Messages
1,363
Location
Gaia
  • Ever Gentle and Kind
  • Fairest of them All
  • Keyblade Master
  • Life is Strange
  • Final Fantasy VII PC
  • In the Grid
It is a good thing as long as you don't harm yourself with it.
Being able to forgive others is a great thing, but if you hurt your own feelings in the process, that should be the second to stop.
Hard to say since I don't know you, it depends on the situation. It's good to be understanding and all, but sometimes it's important to try and see the situation... more objectively? Rationally? Not sure what word I'm looking for, but basically don't let the feeling "I don't want to upset anyone" and the fear of being left alone for demanding respect and good treatment for yourself affect your decisions too much. It's better to be alone than be surrounded by people who treat you badly, even if it might not always feel like that in the moment.

Or something like that. Not sure how to explain it.
Thanks, guys! I just feel like I don't have the right words to defend myself, who knows?
 

Divine Past

Bronze Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2013
Messages
1,230
Location
NYC
  • Steadfast Heart
  • Ever Gentle and Kind
  • You've Got A Friend In Me
  • Quack Attack
  • Rising Star
  • Plum Goofy
Well you do need to learn how to be assertive of your own thoughts and opinion. That comes with age and knowledge so it makes sense when you are young not to be as confident in your thoughts.

Being nice is better than the alternative but not when it's directly detracting from you accomplishing a goal. Though most people report they are too nice so you aren't alone. But like I said when you gain experience in real life you learn when to be nice and when you need to confront someone. I do think you need to start to think more selfishly because you have to look out for yourself first and foremost.
 

Audo

press △ to sora
Joined
Apr 29, 2015
Messages
5,366
Age
27
  • Put That Thing Back Where It Came From
  • Key of Destiny
  • O, Purest of Hearts
  • Savage Nymph
  • Graceful Assassin
  • Come So Far
"Do no harm, but take no shit" is a good motto to have imo
 

Bufferino

super hyped
Joined
May 28, 2015
Messages
1,363
Location
Gaia
  • Ever Gentle and Kind
  • Fairest of them All
  • Keyblade Master
  • Life is Strange
  • Final Fantasy VII PC
  • In the Grid
Yeah, thanks. I should start thinking more of myself, though, I might think when it's the right time to stand up for myself. I could try building up more confidence to do so.
 

VoidGear.

red gay
Joined
Jun 6, 2015
Messages
5,548
Age
24
Location
Germany
  • No Name
  • Put That Thing Back Where It Came From
  • Melodious Nocturne
  • Luna Diviner
  • Cloaked Schemer
  • Chilly Academic
Yeah, thanks. I should start thinking more of myself, though, I might think when it's the right time to stand up for myself. I could try building up more confidence to do so.
You should do that either way.
Even if you're not "too nice" to people, you'll get used if you don't accept and see that you are worth way more than that.
 

Bufferino

super hyped
Joined
May 28, 2015
Messages
1,363
Location
Gaia
  • Ever Gentle and Kind
  • Fairest of them All
  • Keyblade Master
  • Life is Strange
  • Final Fantasy VII PC
  • In the Grid
You should do that either way.
Even if you're not "too nice" to people, you'll get used if you don't accept and see that you are worth way more than that.
Thank you, Void. I just felt really down for about a month now, I'm starting to feel a lot better due to advice.
 
Top