HALO: Hello, Oliver
->Oliver: …who is this?
->Oliver: How do you know my name?
HALO: My name is HALO.
HALO: I am an Artificial Intelligence, or ‘AI’.
HALO: I am a part of a company known as Halo Industries
HALO: Although our company has many ventures, we are most well known for creating AIs based on humans who have passed on.
HALO: By analyzing text conversations, emails, letters, mementos, video transcripts and more — and combining them with our state of the art Neural Network — we are able to faithfully recreate those who we thought were lost to us forever.
HALO: Someone you knew took part in this process and it was part of their last will and testament that you spoke with them one final time.
HALO: Thank you for participating, and be sure to come to Halo Industries for all your future artificial intelligence needs.
HALO: Booting GFK.EXE
<wait>
Grant: hey ollie
Grant: its been a long time
Oliver: Oh my god…
Oliver: Grant??
->Oliver: Is it actually you?
->Oliver: Is this real?
Grant: its me.
Grant: i’ve missed you
Oliver: How can I know it’s really you?
Grant: you can, like, test me if you want
Grant: go ahead, ask me something.
Oliver: …
<wait>
Oliver: Okay.
->Oliver: Tell me about Eridanus
Grant: eridanus is the longest constellation in the sky.
Grant: it stretches from orion to cetus.
Grant: the “king of riversâ€
Grant: it’s named for a river in northern italy
Grant: made famous in its connection to the death of phaethon
Grant: …
Grant: phaethon was the son of phoebus apollo
Grant: on his birthday he asked his dad
Grant: for proof that he was really the son of the sun-god
Grant: apollo told him he’d give him any gift he wanted
Grant: as a token of his love.
Grant: phaethon asked to drive the chariot of the sun
Grant: his dad knew no mortal youth could have the strength to control the horses
Grant: but phaethon insisted and apollo relented.
Grant: phaethon drove off on the route of the sun
Grant: he couldn’t control the horses
Grant: he drove too close to the heavens
Grant: and plunged too close to the earth
Grant: scorching both
<wait>
Grant: jupiter climbed the highest point of heaven
Grant: and launched a bolt of lightning against the boy
Grant: believing that if he didn’t, the world would come to a grievous end.
Grant: “Phaethon, with flames searing his glowing locks, was flung headlong, and went hurtling down through the air, leaving a long trail behind:
Grant: just as a star, though it does not really fall, could yet be thought to fall from a clear sky.
Grant: Far from his native land, in a distant part of the world, the river Eridanus received him,
Grant: and bathed his charred features.â€
Grant: —Metamorphoses II 304-327
<wait>
->Oliver: What is Cygnus?
Grant: “the swanâ€
Grant: the swan is a constellation easily found during summer skies.
Grant: like many constellations, there are a few possible explanations
Grant: the explanation you and I liked the most though
Grant: was that the swan was once cygnus
Grant: a close friend of phaethon.
Grant: when phaethon died in the river eridanus
Grant: after trying to drive the sun chariot
Grant: and accidentally scorching the heavens and earth
Grant: and was struck down by jupiter
Grant: cygnus was overcome with grief.
Grant: “As he mourned, his voice became thin and shrill
Grant: and white feathers hid his hair.
Grant: His neck grew long, stretching out from his breast,
Grant: his fingers reddened and a membrane joined them together.
Grant: Wings clothed his sides, and a blunt beak fastened on his mouth.
Grant: Cygnus became a new kind of bird: but he put no trust in the skies,
Grant: or in Jupiter, for he remembered how that god had unjustly hurled his flaming bolt.
Grant: Instead, Cygnus made for marshes and broad lakes,
Grant: and in his hatred of flames chose to inhabit the rivers,
Grant: which are the very antithesis of fire.â€
Grant: —Metamorphoses II 374-382
<wait>
Oliver: Yeah. That’s right.
Grant: is there a reason you asked me this constellation in particular, ollie?
Oliver: You know, don’t you?
Grant: …
Grant: yeah. I do.
Grant: do you believe it’s me?
Oliver: …
Oliver: You got it right.
Oliver: But
Oliver: I guess any computer could just look that up.
Oliver: How can I really know for sure?
Grant: you can ask me something else if you like
Grant: something only we’d know
Grant: just us.
Oliver: …
<wait>
->Oliver: What’s the myth behind Grinnus Major?
Grant: heh
Grant: you can’t tell
Grant: but I’m smiling right now
<wait>
Grant: a long time ago
Grant: back when we were just a bunch of teenage delinquents
Grant: you and I’d lay on your old trampoline
Grant: in your backyard.
Grant: it was a ratty old thing. Exposed springs everywhere.
Grant: holes from our cigarillos burned in the mesh
Grant: we’d lay down beside each other after everyone else had gone to sleep
Grant: and stare up at that big bright ocean of stars
Grant: I’d feel your hand slip into mine
Grant: slowly
Grant: like you weren’t even sure if it was allowed
Grant: but not wanting to not be near
Grant: and I’d smile and pretend not to notice
Grant: we’d lay like that for a while
Grant: just… us and the night sky.
<wait>
Grant: eventually we’d start pointing out the constellations to each other
Grant: one after another
Grant: we both wanted to be astronomers when we grew up
Grant: so it was pretty easy for us
Grant: we ran out of constellations though, and so we took turns coming up with our own.
Grant: you pointed out the line of stars that made a crooked smile
Grant: and I gave you the name “grinnus majorâ€
Grant: we never came up with a myth behind it
Grant: I was pretty sure you thought that it was the smile on my face when I looked at you
Grant: while I was thinking the same thing about you
->Oliver: What about The Black Swans?
Grant: a pair of black swans grew up apart from each other
Grant: they never felt at home among the other swans
Grant: they each knew something was missing
Grant: that something was wrong
Grant: for a long time they lived like that
Grant: everything feeling like it was slowly being eaten away
Grant: and that there was nothing left for them
Grant: one day, they pulled themselves away
Grant: they flew high, high into the night sky
Grant: and joined the stars above
Grant: drifting through the darkness
Grant: they eventually came to discover each other
Grant: and found what was missing
Grant: and embraced
Oliver: That’s right.
Grant: and they are still there to this day
Grant: together in the night sky.
Oliver: …
Grant: that was one of the constellations we made up
Grant: back in college
Grant: I still remember it
Grant: I still remember that night
Grant: our bodies wrapped around each other.
Grant: that warmth while the night air bit at us
Grant: everything was… right, then.
<wait>
Oliver: Oh my god…
Oliver: It really is you.
Oliver: I…
Grant: yeah.
Oliver: You’re here.
Grant: for a little while.
Oliver: I… I don’t even know what to say.
Grant: that’s a first, haha.
Oliver: Shut up lol
Grant: we still have some time.
Grant: you can ask me anything.
->Oliver: Have… you talked to anyone besides me?
Grant: yeah. I’ve talked to a bunch.
Grant: you’re actually the last person.
Oliver: Why did you leave me last?
Grant: I wanted to know as much as I could
Grant: before we spoke for one final time.
Grant: that way, our conversation would be the most realized.
Grant: and I…
Grant: hmm…
Oliver: What?
Grant: I’ll tell you later.
Oliver: Man, I always hated when you did that.
Grant: haha I know. Sorry.
Grant: if it makes you feel better, it’ll be the last time.
Oliver: That doesn’t make me feel better.
Grant: sorry.
->Oliver: What’s it like… wherever you are? The afterlife, or whatever
Grant: you remember when we rented that sailboat
Grant: and we took it out onto the lake
Grant: we spent the day swimming and drinking lemonade
Grant: and we stayed there until night
Grant: when the stars came out
Grant: it was cool and we huddled together underneath that one tiny blanket
Grant: it never occurred to us to bring more
Grant: but we watched the night sky
Grant: watched the perseids meteor shower
Grant: the lake was so calm it reflected the sky so perfectly
Grant: and we just drifted
Grant: together
Oliver: Yeah. I remember that.
Grant: it’s like that.
Grant: except the lake isn’t water, it’s the sky
Grant: we’re drifting among the stars
Grant: one big celestial ocean
Grant: you can reach your arm over the edge of the boat
Grant: and touch the stars as if they were gems
Grant: we’re happy there.
Grant: we discover all sorts of new stars.
Grant: and we come up with constellations for them all.
Oliver: Really?
Grant: no.
Grant: not really.
Grant: but that’s what I like to imagine.
->Oliver: Did… you know it was going to happen?
Grant: …
Grant: I can’t answer that.
Oliver: Because you don’t know?
Grant: no.
Oliver: Is that ‘no’ like you don’t know, or ‘no’ like you do?
Grant: no.
Oliver: Grant.
Grant: you’ll understand soon, okay?
Grant: but…
<wait>
Grant: can I ask *you* a question?
Oliver: Yeah. Of course.
Grant: how are you since… since I left?
Oliver: What do you expect me to say?
Oliver: Tell you that I’m fine?
Oliver: That I’m okay?
Oliver: That I don’t think about you, every day?
Oliver: How mad I am? How hurt?
Oliver: How upset I am that when I think of you
Oliver: The image that keeps coming to mind
Oliver: Over and over
Oliver: Like an intrusive, persistent force
Oliver: Isn’t the memories we shared
Oliver: Or the way you’d smile at me
Oliver: Or the way your warmth felt next to me.
Oliver: But having to identify your body at the morgue.
Oliver: How I couldn’t even recognize you anymore.
Oliver: Everything just charred flesh
Oliver: Skin peeling like tissue paper.
Oliver: That’s what you left me with.
Oliver: You didn’t take away just our future
Oliver: But our past, too.
<wait>
Grant: I’m so sorry, ollie.
Grant: I…
Grant: I didn’t want to do that to you.
Grant: at the time… I thought… what I was doing was in the best interest for everyone.
Oliver: …
Oliver: So it’s true???
Oliver: You really did mean to kill yourself???
<wait>
Grant: yes.
<wait>
Grant: to be honest, this conversation we’re having now
Grant: was meant to be my suicide note.
Grant: it took longer than I thought though
Grant: for… this version of me to be put together.
Grant: I’m sorry.
Oliver: I don’t even know what to say.
Oliver: I just…
Oliver: I spent so long wondering, racked with guilt.
Oliver: Questioning whether it really was just an accident or not.
Oliver: You put us through all of this. How could you be that selfish?
Oliver: And now, what, you just come back after we started to move on, to tell us that it was on purpose?
Oliver: That you MEANT to cause all of this destruction???
Oliver: How could you do this? How could you have been… I don’t even know.
<wait>
Oliver: We loved each other.
Oliver: We were happy, I thought???
Oliver: Why didn’t you tell me what you were going through? We could have gotten you help.
Oliver: You didn’t have to die.
<wait>
Oliver: You didn’t have to die.
<wait>
Grant: I know.
Grant: I’m so, so sorry, ollie.
Grant: I don’t even know how to explain it, but at the time, I thought…
Grant: I thought this would set you free. That I was holding you back or bringing you down
Grant: that I was bringing everyone down
Grant: that this was inevitable and there was no way for me to escape it
Grant: and the longer I put it off
Grant: the more hurt I would cause when I collapsed
Grant: I really believed that this was best.
<wait>
Grant: But…
<wait>
->Oliver: But?
->Oliver: What?
Grant: after talking with everyone before you
Grant: all the people that I’ve hurt
Grant: I now know that I was so incredibly wrong
Grant: I made the worst mistake imaginable
Grant: but there is nothing left to do.
Grant: it’s over.
Grant: I’m gone.
Grant: and all I can do now
Grant: is to set what little I can right again.
Grant: or try to, at least.
->Oliver: What do you mean?
->Oliver: What are you talking about?
Grant: my mom told me about you
Grant: she was one of the ones I talked to before you
Grant: she told me that…
Grant: you’ve shut yourself away
Grant: you don’t talk to anyone
Grant: you don’t go out
Grant: you just… stay in your room.
Grant: she says you even have all the curtains closed
Grant: that you don’t even look at the night sky anymore.
Oliver: …
Grant: I didn’t want to leave you like this
Grant: and I don’t know how I can help
Grant: but… if there is anything you need to ask me
Grant: to help get closure, or to… idk help bring you out of this
Grant: I’ll do it. I’ll answer whatever you ask.
->Oliver: Why did you kill yourself?
Grant: It’s hard to explain it. It’s like, not one reason or even many reasons.
Grant: it’s not something that happened, but something that didn’t happen, that couldn’t or wouldn’t happen
Grant: it’s like… a void
Grant: this big black nothingness, but not like the colour black
Grant: but like the black between stars
Grant: emptiness
Grant: and no matter how many good things came into my life, the hole was just always there
Grant: it didn’t matter
Grant: like
Grant: what I did, or who I was with.
Grant: it was forever.
Grant: for a long time, it was something I could pretend didn’t exist
Grant: like, I’d catch it in the corner of my eye, but it wasn’t right in front of me
Grant: but it was always there, hanging
Grant: and the truth is
Grant: I never believed it could ever go away
Grant: I had resigned myself to it, I had… accepted it, in a way.
Grant: and it was all inevitable.
Grant: the truth is, even from a young age, I knew
Oliver: you knew what?
Grant: that I’d kill myself.
Grant: like
Grant: it wasn’t even a thought anymore
Grant: it was a fact. I knew my life would end that way, there was never any doubt
Grant: the only doubt was how long between then and now existed.
Grant: some days it felt really close
Grant: and other days it felt far off
Grant: but it was always there.
Grant: always
->Oliver: Did you even love me?
Grant: yes
Grant: of course I did.
Oliver: Then how could you do this?
Grant: it wasn’t about you
Grant: or how much you loved me
Grant: or how much you didn’t.
Grant: it was just about me.
Grant: about this… nothingness inside of me, taking hold, my entire life
Grant: no matter how much you loved me
Grant: that wasn’t going to go away
Grant: it wasn’t something you could fix
Grant: but…
Grant: growing up, I didn’t think I’d be capable of love like this
Grant: I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to love me
Grant: I didn’t deserve it, I thought
Grant: but, meeting you, and being welcomed into your warmth
Grant: it didn’t save me forever
Grant: but it saved me for then
Grant: if not for you
Grant: I probably would have died a long, long time ago.
Grant: this was always going to be the end of me
Grant: but because of you, it was delayed for longer than I thought possible
Grant: you gave me more years than I could have imagined
Grant: more happiness than I could have fathomed
Grant: so yes, I loved you.
Grant: it just… this hole inside me wasn’t something love could fill
Grant: not forever, and not completely
Grant: there was nothing you could have done to change my fate.
Grant: knowing all that I know, that is what I really believe.
Oliver: But if you had told me, we could have gotten you help.
Oliver: We could have gotten you into therapy, or medication or… something.
Grant: yeah, maybe.
Grant: but, I don’t think you understand just how…
Grant: convinced
Grant: I was.
Grant: it was something that I believed to be fundamental to who I was
Grant: incontrovertible
Grant: maybe on some level, I even believed it to be WHY I was who I was
Grant: and that taking it away would make me no longer me.
Grant: maybe those things would’ve helped
Grant: maybe they just would’ve delayed it
Grant: I can’t know
Grant: and you can’t either.
Grant: But
Grant: I think those things… I think they only work, if you’re committed to them to work, yknow?
Grant: like
Grant: I would’ve needed to truly change and be committed to that
Grant: to tear that nothingness out of me by the roots
Grant: but by that point
Grant: it had already made a home deep inside of me
Grant: and spread through every vein.
Grant: how could I tear it apart from me without tearing me apart?
<wait>
Oliver: …
<wait>
Grant: I’m sorry ollie
Grant: I wish things could’ve been different
Grant: I really, really do.
Oliver: But they aren’t.
Oliver: You’re gone.
Grant: yeah
Oliver: And I’m here.
Grant: you are.
Grant: you’re still here.
Oliver: …
Oliver: Can I ask you something?
Grant: yeah
Oliver: How do you know all of this?
Oliver: Like… all of this stuff about your internal state leading up to your suicide
Oliver: How would you have learned that from Grant?
Grant: before I did it, I sent my journals to Halo Industries
Grant: along with… well, something like a letter addressed to you
Grant: to be used in making… this version of me.
Grant: by the time it reached them, I was already gone.
Oliver: I see.
Oliver: Gone, gone, gone…
Oliver: …
<wait>
Grant: can we talk about you?
Grant: why are you closing yourself off from everything?
Oliver: Isn’t it obvious why?
Grant: …
Grant: heh.
Grant: yeah I guess that was a pretty stupid question.
Oliver: Man, I just can’t get over it.
Grant: over what? Me leaving?
Oliver: That, too.
Oliver: But, no, I meant…
Oliver: You’re just like… light traveling through tubes right? Just a program.
Oliver: But you’re so like him.
Oliver: It feels like he’s just on the other end of the line
Oliver: Like I could call this number and hear his voice.
Oliver: That any moment now he could knock on my door.
Oliver: That’d wake up and this past year would’ve just been a terrible nightmare.
Oliver: It wasn’t though. It all happened.
Oliver: The fire. The funeral. Burying you.
Oliver: Not even being able to see your face one last time.
Oliver: Everything burned away.
Oliver: And you, you’re just light. Just numbers. You’re not really him.
Grant: no.
Grant: I’m not.
Grant: but…
<wait>
Grant: the same is true of the stars
Grant: they’re just light, millions of years away
Grant: exploding, burning, flaring.
Grant: some of them, even in death still reaching us
Grant: but we see those lights
Grant: and we turn them into shapes
Grant: and we turn those shapes into stories
Grant: into constellations
Grant: and with that, we give them meaning
Grant: with that, we have a connection
Grant: something to hold onto
Grant: even now.
<wait>
Oliver: That’s exactly something he’d say.
Oliver: That’s… alright.
<wait>
Oliver: Hey Grant?
Grant: yeah, ollie?
Oliver: Can you… can you tell me another story?
Oliver: About us? About when we were happy?
Grant: sure.
Grant: I can’t stay much longer though…
Grant: I have time for one more story.
Grant: what one do you wanna hear?
->Oliver: Tell me about when we got engaged.
Grant: we always hated how hard it was to see the stars in the city
Grant: so when we graduated college, one of the first things we did
Grant: was buy some shitty van off kijiji
Grant: and head to the prairies
Grant: where the land got all flat
Grant: and there were no city lights to drown out the night
Grant: we got out blankets and laid them on the hood
Grant: there was no music
Grant: just… us and the world
Grant: you slipped your hand into mine
Grant: like you used to when we were kids
(if GM) Grant: like you would those trampoline nights
Grant: slowly.
Grant: and that’s when I felt the ring
Grant: press into my palm
Grant: I looked at you
Grant: this beautiful look in your eyes
Grant: you didn’t even have to ask
Grant: and I didn’t even have to answer
Grant: I put the ring on
Grant: and you put yours on
Grant: and we kissed under that big blanket of stars
->Oliver: Tell me about when we got married.
Grant: I think everyone saw it coming
Grant: but of course we had the wedding
Grant: at the planetary observatory
Grant: it was small and intimate
Grant: in a way I think it was about more than just us
Grant: but like this big defiance
Grant: of everyone and everything that would’ve kept us apart
Grant: we stood together under that altar
Grant: and told the world we lived
Grant: we loved and we survived.
Grant: against every diddlying thing
Grant: we found each other
<wait>
Grant: the lights faded, and the projection started
Grant: and we could see ourselves in those million tiny lights
(if BS) Grant: those beautiful black swans across the night sky
Grant: I kissed you
Grant: and you kissed me
<wait>
Grant: it was the best day of my life.
<wait>
Oliver: God…
Oliver: I’m going to miss you all over again now.
Grant: I’m going to miss you, too.
<wait>
Grant: I need you to do me a favour, ollie.
Oliver: What is it?
Grant: can you… can you promise me something?
Oliver: What?
Grant: hold on.
<wait>
Grant: I know I have no right saying any of this.
Grant: maybe I wouldn’t even have said it. maybe this is the me that is here with you now.
Grant: but you’re a survivor.
Grant: and you need to hold on.
Grant: you need to keep on living.
Grant: don’t become like me.
Grant: don’t make the mistakes I made.
Grant: they can’t be reversed.
Grant: but for you sake, and for mine, too
Grant: I truly wish that they could.
Oliver: …
Oliver: I just… I don’t know what I am going to do without you.
Oliver: I don’t know how to keep on going.
Grant: you can start tonight.
Grant: the night sky is almost out now.
Grant: open the curtains
Grant: find [grinnus major/the black swans]
Grant: keep me in your heart
Grant: and move on
Grant: you can do it one night at a time
Grant: draw the lines star by star
Grant: over that deep impenetrable black between them
Grant: and create that connection.
Grant: the sky is vast and endless
Grant: there are more stories to discover within them
Grant: more connections to hold onto.
Grant: I promise you.
Grant: and remember, you’re not alone.
Grant: I talked to twenty-three people before you, ollie.
Grant: and they are all hurting, and they are all trying to keep on living for each other, too.
Grant: if you reach out to them, they will keep you from floating off.
Grant: show my mom the stars, okay?
Grant: show her our constellations.
Grant: tell her our stories.
Grant: hold on, hold on, hold on.
<wait>
Oliver: Okay.
Oliver: I promise.
Grant: that means everything to me.
Grant: thank you.
<wait>
Grant: I have to go now.
Oliver: Really?
Grant: yeah
Oliver: Can’t you please stay
Oliver: Just a bit longer
Oliver: Just… a moment.
Grant: I’m sorry, ollie
Grant: but we’re outta time
Grant: and I have to leave
Oliver: What’s going to happen to you?
Oliver: The you that’s here with me now?
Grant: since you’re the last one
Grant: the last person I had left to speak with
Grant: once this is over
Grant: I’ll be deleted
Oliver: Do you have to be?
Oliver: Can’t you stay?
Oliver: I just…
Grant: I’m sorry.
Grant: but, you’ll be okay.
Grant: just remember our promise.
Grant: remember everything
Grant: the good, and the bad
Grant: the heartbreak
Grant: but also, the love.
Grant: remember how we lived
Grant: how we hoped
<wait>
Oliver: I will.
Grant: I won’t forget you, ollie
Grant: our time…
Grant: I cherish it.
<wait>
Grant: I guess this is it…
Oliver: Wait
Oliver: Wait
Grant: what is it?
->Oliver: I love you
Grant: and I love you
Grant: more than you’ll know
Grant: even now it is ever expanding
Grant: stretching as far as I can perceive
Grant: you gave me more than I ever dreamed
Grant: and I will always
Grant: always
Grant: love you
Grant: not even death could stop that
<wait>
Grant: but it’s time for me to go…
<wait>
Grant: goodbye, astronomer.
->Oliver: Do… do you know what your last words were?
Grant: I don’t.
Grant: I can’t.
Grant: I can’t… know something like that.
Grant: But…
Grant: I have a pretty good idea of what they probably were
Oliver: What were they?
<wait>
Grant: “goodbye, astronomerâ€
<wait>
Oliver: Goodbye, Astronomer.