Fanfiction ► Twilight High

[<Roxas>]

The place will be set in Twilight Town and no one from the game will be in it unless I need to.The story is about a young adult called Zex who has been in Twlight Town for 5 years and goes to a school called Twilight High which almost everybody there hates him because of what he did 4 year's ago when he first went to the school.


About the School:Twlight High is the best in Twilight Twon they only except the best students unless the students pay alot to get in.The school is best known for its Struggling trophy's they have all over the school.Twilight High consist of three diffrent students first,second and third year students most are second year.Twilight High took Zex in for the publicity they would get for it the principal Mr.Mazaki arangged the whole thing even though he hates children.






Character Bio's

Zex:The kid everyone hate's but he doesn't really care anyway.He has a best friend called Ryu.Ryu and Zex having been living together as roomates for 2 years in the same dorm they aren't close but they still hang out often.Zex is a quite person and doesnt like to be annoyed by other people he also get's
angry easily

Ryu:Zex's best friend and also a goof ball he get in trouble for pulling pranks and he is also called the "class clown".Ryu comes from a rich family who suspects Ryu to be the best but Ryu just wants to have fun.Ryu is a funny guy and good to be around wiht but for Zex he gets annoying.


Sakura:The most popular girl in school who likes Zex everyone know's it even Zex who turned her down two times already.Sakura has a big brother named Lee who is protective of her which Skaura wishes he wasn't.Skaura a nice girl and loves to party but can be shy somtimes when it comes to boy's.

Lee:Sakura's big brother.Lee hates Zex more than anybody in the school he also run's the school.Nobody dares to talk back Lee not even the teacher's.Lee loved by almost all the girls in school because he is so badass but Lee really doesnt notice because all he is worried about is his sister and his grades.


Misuki:Misuki is Sakura's best friend ever since they were children she hates Zex.Misuki looks out for Sakura whenever she can she usualy get into fights with other girls and always win most of the time.Misuki is one of the independent type she never give's in to peer presure and alway's does what her heart tell's her to do and she not afraid to speak her opinoin

Lee's gang:Lee's gang of friends consit's of three people Mike,Chris,Brandon.Mike and Chris are identical twin's who are together most of the time and say the same thing at the same time.Brandon is Lee's best friend who has a crush on Sakura but never asked her out because of Lee being so protective.Lee's gang is always with Lee after school and mostly in school if there not skipping that is.


Mr.Mizaki:Hates all kids.Any student who goes in his office will be suspended on the spot.Mr.Mizaki only took the job of prinicpal because he thought it would be easy but all he does is work he would rather lay around on the couch all watching T.V.




The Story
Ryu:Come on Zex lets go!
It was the day of the twilgiht festival and Ryu was trying to get Zex to go since he has been cooped up in the dorm for awhile
Zex:Im not going to that stupid festival
Ryu:Come on Zex if you dont get out more and meet people they will never like you.
Zex:I dont care if they dont like me all I want to be is alone!
It was silent for awhile then Ryu thought of somthing.
Ryu:Fine then i'll just stay here and annoy you until we do
Zex got out his coat and left towards the festival Ryu followed.When they got there it was crowded but lively
Ryu:This is a good time to pick up girls huh Zex?
Zex stayed silent and started to look around.Meanwhile Sakura and Misuki were hanging out with Lee and his gang
Sakura:Lee will you stop following us around!
Lee:You know I worry about you sis.
Sakura:This is a festival nothing is gonna happed here.
Lee:Ok fine but call me on your cell phone if you get into any trouble.
Lee and his gang left Sakura and Misuki and went to have some fun
Misuki:Finally we can have some real fun!
Sakura:As always Misuki your always energetic.
Zex and Ryu seperated for awhile and Ryu spotted Misuki and Sakura and decided to say hello
Misuki:What do you want Ryu?
Ryu:I just stopped by to say to you lovely ladies
Misuki:Ryu your such a bad flurt.Where rat Zex isnt he with you?
Sakura:Yes where is Zex?
Ryu:We decided to seperate and meet up later good thing to because I cant get any girls with him around anyway
Misuki:You cant get any girls even if he's not with you.
Ryu:Man that was harsh Misuki cant you go easy on me.
Miskui:Lets get out of here Sakura and go have some fun while its still daylight.
Lee and his gang were hanging out eating Sea Salt Ice Cream.
Brandon:Hey Lee can I ask you somthing?
Lee looked over at Brandon as he saw he looked all serious.
Brandon:We have been freinds for a long time now and I just wondering if I could date you sister?
Mike&Chris:You shouldnt have said that.
Usualy Lee would get mad when he heard someone wanted to date his sister but since it was Brandon he felt calm.
Lee:You should know mroe than anyone that I cant stand boy dating my sister.You understand what im saying right?
Brandon shook his head and then scratched his head.
Brandon:I guess im gonna ask her out with his permission then...
It was soon getting dark and soon the fireworks would show ending the festival.Zex was at a hill looking over the festival seeing everyone going around and laughing.
Zex:Better go down and at least try to have fun. Zex looked around and tried to look for a game he would like but only found one and it was Struggiling Announcer:Come on folks who wants to try to out struggle our number one contestant. Zex aggred to fight and was soon handed his weapon.The arena was a boxing ring which was kinda ofr a boxing ring.Zex went into the ring and heard the crowd boing at him but when he saw his apponent he was surpirsed on who it was. Lee:I cant believe a punk like you came to this festival.Its time to get whats coming to you Zex! Zex didnt say anything he just went on his side of the corner and waited for the bell to ring. Misuki:Hey did you hear that Zex is fighting your brother!? Sakura:Where!? Misuki pointed at the direction of the ring and Sakura started to run towards it.When she got there she could hear the crowd roaring as the fight was going on.Sakura wish Zex and Lee wouldn't fight because it always end bad. Ryu:Come on Zex show everyone what your made of! Mike&Chris:Go Lee clobber that punk!
Time was almost out and Zex had the leasst amount of balls he had to think of somthing quick or Lee would win so he used the ring to his advantage and started to stretch his side of the ring and just like bullet he shot himself right at Lee which he couldnt block because he was going to fast Zex:Come Lee at least give a good fight before you loose. Lee was getting angry he was now loosing and time was getting shorter he clashed with Zex but neither of them droped any balls.Zex just waited for the time to run out so he stayed on the defensive.Lee had to do somthing quick so he jumped on the corner of the ring and jumped in the air and aimed his weapon on the ground causing the ringt to and making Zex drop some balls but Zex recoverd them quickly but suferd a fwe hits in the face. Sakura:Zex,Lee please stop this fighting you know it never ends well. Lee:Stay out of this Sakura this between me and that punk Zex! Zex didnt say anything he just held up his guard while waiting for the bell to ring.Lee had to try one more thing and if it worked he could win the fight.He lured Zex near the side of the ring where is gang.They grabed Zex's legs and made him trip which made Zex drop alot of balls and when Zex got the match was over. Ryu:Thats no fair they cheated!
Zex walked away from the ring as Sakura followed.Zex sat down back on the hill looking up at the fireworks. Sakura:Im sorry for what my brother did to you Zex. Zexont be.....It was my fault that I lost if i didnt get so cocky I would of thinked clearer and new that was backing towards a trap. Misuki:Where did Sakura go? Ryu say that Misuki was alone and took advantge of the moment.
Ryu:Whats a pretty girl like you doing all alone watching the fireworks? Misuki:Staying away from boys like you! Sakura looked up at the firworks and then sat down right next to Zex. Sakura:You can see everything from here even Ryu trying to flurt with Misuki. Zex:Will he ever learn that he will never get a girl that way. Sakura got close to Zex. she was about ready to ask him somthing important and she new that she couldnt find a better moment that now. Sakura:Um....Zex do y-yy-ou ever think that we might...... Zex:No!I told this before Sakura it can never happen between us. Sakura new he would say somthing like that but she just had to try though.
Sakura:Fine then but can I borrow your jacket im getting cold? Zex took off his jackey and gave it Sakura.They both watched the fireworks go off together and as the festival was ending Zex new tomorrow at school would be hell now that Lee won against him but for now he just enjoyed the moment.Sakura was just happy to be this close to Zex since he always acted isolated and cole to everyone he new she felt speacial and she would never give up trying to get close to him not as long as she still had feeling for him.The fireworks ended but a new day is on the horizon.
End of Chapter 1​

 

[member #8 Axel]

Umm...you made 2 of these threads.

 

[<Roxas>]

I want to try this thing one more time.Sorry about the format I cant fix it :blushing:

 

[Ansem]

its a good story as it is but yeah, format... format... you need to make it more detailed. i had to figure out what is where. if you have a typing thing on your computer, use it. i.e. i got microsoft office word, but use what you got. and watch your spelling and vocab, im not trying to be a teacher, but make it more detailed, and make it have better vocab.
have fun writing chaptr 2. take your time, you cant just write a story overnight. keep it detailed and everything needed for a good story.

 

[Cloud_Unchained]

Rules Broken:

All fanfiction MUST be in normal, everyday literate style. By literate style, I mean the stuff you read in books. Not script. I'll allow script but only in comedy fics. Sometimes its hard to put comedy into words other than speech and I know some really great fics that are comedy and are in script style!

All fanfiction MUST be literate and detailed! No more n00b speak, lower cases at the beginning of each sentence, and missing punctuation. I want to see LITERACY. None of that other stuff! If you want reviews for your fic and your fic looks like that, you're not going to get any, I promise you that.

Each chapter MUST be at least six to eight paragraphs long for it to be able to be posted on here. And, not short sentences either; you don't have to stuff the whole sentence completely, just don't make it three words per sentence per paragraph. If you post a fic that is less than six to eight paragraphs long, your topic will be closed. Any chapters posted after August 12, 2006 with less than six to eight paragraphs will be closed immediately as well.

I didn't even bother reading it. If you're going to post character bio's and script format, it doesn't deserve a chance.

 

[<Roxas>]

I will admit that I made some mistakes but if you give me a chance i will correct them. :laugh:

 

[<Roxas>]

Chapter 2 "The fallen rose"

Zex looked outside window watching the rain drop from the sky.Ignoring his math teacher he began to wonder why he even went to school everyone hated him the students always move there desk closer to the teacher just to stay away from him but then he new that one person actualy cared about him."Sakura....".Ryu was in history class acting goofy like always.Ryu was shooting spitballs at the teacher during her history lesson everyone laughed as he was sent to the assistant principal's office.When Ryu was walking he had a serious look on his face because he new he had to talk to his father and him and his father never get along.When Ryu was growing up he never seen his father around sure he called every once and awhile but they had nothing to talk about and his father likes to control his life and hopes that he takes the family business but Ryu doesnt want to he wants to pick his own path but his father would never listen.When Ryu got to the assitant principal's office he started to sweat he didnt want to talk to his father.The assistant principal came and sat down."Ryu why do you always get in trouble?"Ryu scratched his head and smiled."I think I have bad luck principal sander."Sander sighed and then cleaned his glasses."A few days ago I talked to your father about your behavior and he would like you too shape up and he also said if you act up again you would he would come down here himself and whip you in shape."Ryu was silent he new that if his father came down here he would be embaressed infront of the whole student body."I will do you a favor Ryu and I wondt call him this time but you have to promise me that you will get your act together."Ryu thought for a second and then looked at Sanders with a serious face."Call him.I want to tell him somthing."Sanders took out the school phone and gave it to Ryu."Do you want me to leave you alone."Ryu looked at him and he got the signal."5 minutes ok."

The phone was ringing and Ryu heart began to drop be he new he couldnt back down now."Hello!?"Ryu took a deep breath a began to speak."Dad!?"Ryu waited for a reply."Ryu?What did you do this time!"Ryu new his father would say somthing like that."It doesnt matter right now dad I just need to talk to you right now."His dad was surpirsed."Im to busy right now we will talk later."Anger started to build up in Ryu he hated the fact that his father always put him aside when he felt like it."No dad I need to talk to you now!Im tired of you always putting me to the side,Im tired of you treating me like one of your tools.Im your son dad or do you not remember that!"It was a big silence then Ryu spoke again."Dad it seem's the only time you notice me is when im in trouble or when you want to talk about the future if your not gonna act like a real dad then you should just leave me at this school and never come back for me!"Ryu left Sanders office still filled with rage and then the bell rang 1st period ended.


Zex went to his locker to put his math notebook away but before he could finish he was inturuptted by Lee and his gang."Well isnt it the looser Zex!.Im surprised you showed your face after that defeat yesterday."Zex sighed he didnt want to handle Lee so early in the morning."Lee dont you have anything better to do than gloat?"Brandon got closer to Zex so close they were face to face."We dont apperciate you hanging around Sakura."Zex pushed Brandon aside."She was the one that followed me not the other way around."Lee started to make a fist."You better not have any ideas about my sister Zex."Zex looked at Lee right in the eye's"Your sister is growing up you need to let go of her."Lee uncurled his fist and walked away.Zex went the other way to second period wich was Media Masters.On the other side of school Sakura and Misuki were giving out invatations to Sakura's birthday party tomorrow."Its a Hawaiian theme ok."She always wanted a party on a beach and since she was so popular she new alot of people would come especially the boys. She had a special invitation for Zex.

She didnt know how to give it to him because she was afraid the he wouldn't except.Misuki was to busy passing invitations to all the cute boy's to notice Sakura looking sad."Hey sexy how about you give me a invite to that party.Misuki lookeds behind her and she wasn't surpirsed it was Ryu."I dont want Sakura's party to be filled with ugly boys."Ryu scratched his head and smiled."Im as cute as they baby.Every girl wants to peace of me."Misuki handed him an invite."Fine but you need but bring a good present for her and me. "Ryu started to sweat."Aw that harsh baby but I guess if you need a man to give you a present you have to force them huh."Miskui face turn red with anger and Ryu took that as a sign to run away before his invite was lost.After Misuki calmed down she saw Sakura looking sad and walked towards her."Are you sad because Ryu is coming I’ll get it back from him if you want."Sakura laughed."No its not thats its just..."Misuki new who she was thinking about it the only person that makes your look that way."If Zex is such a big problem then why dont you just forget about him huh."Sakura smiled."It isnt that simple."Its somthing about Zex that make me so attracted to him maybe its the way he treats me."Misuki widen her eyes."He treats you like crap."Sakura shook her head."No he treats me like a real person.Not Lee’s younger sister and not the popular girl in school just plain old me."Misuki didnt really understand but they were going to be late for there next class so she didnt think about so much.

Lee and his gang were hanging out in class and as usually the girls were around them.A girl came up to Lee she was giggling alot which made Lee laugh as well."Hey Lee are you going to your sister party."Lee looked at her."Yeah I guess it wouldnt be a party without me there.Whats your name anyway."The girl gave him a look."My name is Julia."Lee smirked."Well Julia I hope we can meet up at the party."Julia sat down.Brandon looked at Lee."Smooth Lee."Lee smiled but then thought about what Zex said."Do you guys think im to protective of my sister?"The guys didnt say anything."Well!"Mike and Chris spoke out."Well you are a little protective of her you should just let her go out and date."Lee thought for a second then rose from his seat."Listen!Any boy in here who wants to date my sister is now aloud to but if you break her heart than I will break your bones!"With that in mind the boy's in the class started to smile but Brandon was probbably the happeist one out of all of them"Finally."


At the end of the day when everyone was going to there dorm Sakura passed by Zex's door she stood right in front of it for a few minutes and finally got the courage to knock on the door.Ryu answerd it."Hey Sakura."Sakura smiled."Hi Ryu is Zex here?"Ryu turned around."Hey Zex Sakura is here for you dude."Ryu went back inside and Zex came out.Sakura's heart was beating fast she held to invite tighter and tighter."Do you need somthing."She didnt want to say anything about the party right away so she talked about somthing else."Um...well I want to thank you for what you said to my brother I heard you talked some sense into him.Its great to talk to boys and not have him on my back."Zex looked down and saw the invite."Is that for me."Sakura steped back."Uh...Yeah.I want you to come to my birthday party."She gave it to him and started to walk off but then turned around."I would like it if you came Zex it would mean alot to me.” She turned the corner and Zex went back inside .Ryu heard all of it he love to listen in to conversations."You should go you know she like you alot Zex.” Zex looked down at Ryu since he was on the bed."How about you stop ease droping and stay out of my business."Ryu sighed and looked at Zex."She is the only one that really cares about you Zex and if you take that for granted you may regret it for the rest of your life."Ryu went out for a drink leaving Zex alone .Zex didnt know what he hated the mose that fact that he was lectured by Ryu or the fact that he is right.Zex stared outside looking at the rain and then went to sleep.

The next day Ryu decided to go shopping before the party started."Come on Zex lets go before the shops close."Zex didnt say anything."Fine then if you want to stay here and act like an old man then go ahead."Zex decided to go out but not to shop just to think and when he wants to the he usualy thinks ontop of the clock tower.Sakura was getting ready for her party.Misuki was doing her hair she was making it like the movie stars."This is gonna be the biggest party that anyone has ever seen."Sakura agreed.Lee barged in the room laughing."Whats up with your hair sis."Sakura got angry."There is nothing up with my hair its suppost to look like this."Lee droped to the ground."If you say so."Brandon came in and looked at Sakura."I think it looks great Sakura." Sakura smiled."Thank you Brandon.You look good yourself."Brandon blushed.Lee finally got up from the floor."Lets get out of here man."Brandon and Lee left and Misuki sighed."Boys are so stupid."Sakura looked at Misuki."Your just saying that because your single."Misuki groaned."Yeah so what."

A few hours later the party started it was bigger than Sakura imagined.All the boys were flurting with her and she had alot of presents but out of all the boys she didnt see Zex there but she did see Ryu so she went up and asked him where Zex was."I dont know where Zex is Sakura he wasnt in the dorm when I went back from shopping."Sakura sighed she new Zex wouldnt have came anyway but she didnt let it ruin her party.Zex was on the clocktower straing at the invite."If I dont go then she will me sad but if I go all those people will look and stare at me."Zex thought for a moment then made up his mind."I guess im going."Zex decided to get roses for Sakura and then headed to the beach.Meanwhile at the party Misuki was looking for Ryu for her present."Where is my present Ryu!?"Ryu stepped back."I have it dont worry."Misuki put her hand out waiting for her present.Ryu thought of somthing quick so he kissed Miskui on the lips and when it was over Misuki was angry."Why you!"Misuki pushed Ryu down on the ground and left him there."What up with her."Zex arrived at the beach he could see the party but he was stopped by Brandon."Where do you think your going Zex!"Zex looked at him."Im going to the party.Now if you excuse me!"Brandon stoped him."Your not going Zex.I told you we dont like you hanging around with Sakura now im gonna tell you once to leave and dont come back!"Zex looked at the roses then at Brandon."Let me through or you will be sorry."Brandon smirked then punched Zex in the face making him drop the roses.Zex nose started to bleed but that didnt stop him he gave a punch to the stomach and a kick to the side ribs."Let me through Brandon."Brandon step back he wasnt going to give up so easily."You think you have a chance with her don't you Zex.No one likes you Zex they just pity you.You are nothing but a nobody and a joke."Zex stoped fighting.He started to take in on what Brandon said.Ryu noticed Zex and ran up to him."Hey Zex!"Sakura heard Ryu and Zex she was happy he came she started to run up to him too.Zex saw them coming but then ran the other way."Zex where you going?"Sakura saw Brandon beat up and looked down at the smashed roses she saw a note inside."To the girl that shines above the rest."Sakura picked up the roses and then looked back at Brandon."What happend here Brandon!"Brandon didnt say anything he just walked away.Ryu caught up with Zex just before he got on the train."Whats up with you man...."Zex turned his back towards him."Just leave me alone ok I just want to go home and rest!"Ryu let him go.The train left the station just like the hope Zex had in his heart.

plz comment

 

[<Roxas>]

Chapter 3 "The tragic anniversary"


It was a friday and ever kid in the school couldn't stop talking about Sakura's party.Zex was still thinking about what Brandon said he didnt say a word ever since that day which made Ryu worry."Zex what wrong dude?"Zex didnt reply he just went to his first period class.Ryu went off to his first period class and decided tto worry about Zex later but he soon started to worry about himself once he saw Misuki and Sakura."Uh...h-h-hey Misuki,Sakura."Misuki didnt say a thing but Sakura had a concerned look on her face."Ryu what happend between Zex and Brandon?"Ryu sighed."I dont know what happend you have a better chance asking Brandon about it."Sakura started to think."What could Zex and Brandon be fighting about?"Ryu scratched his head started to wonder himself."Well it must be over you.I know Brandon likes you and I guess he didnt want Zex to interfere with his plans of getting together with you."Misuki groaned."Lets get out of here Sakura before I do somthing I might regret."Ryu steped back and then started to sweat.Sakura and Misuki walked towards there firts period class."Whats wrong with you Misuki?"Misuki groaned again then slammed her fist into a locker."Its Ryu!Every time I get near that boy he just makes me so mad!"Sakura laughed."Is it because he kissed you during my party?"Misuki shook her head."He had no right to do that!"Sakura countinued to laugh."Whats so funny Sakura?"Sakura stopped laughing and smiled."Why do you always have to hide your true feeling's Misuki.Your not mad at Ryu for kissing you.Your actualy happy about but you just never will admit it."Misuki didnt say anything.They walked into there first period class and started the school day.


Sakura's party wasnt the only thing people were talking about they were also talking about Zex's fight with Brandon.Zex didn't know how word got out but he wished it had never happend.Zex wanted revenge but he new that it wouldn't set his heart at ease.Every class Zex went into he was being laughed at but he didnt care about the fight anymore after hearing so many difrrent stories about the fight he just didnt care anymore.There was one story were Zex was the one bulling Brandon and another one saying that Brandon made him cry like a baby."Can things get any worse."Things did worse for Zex at lunch when he sat down by himslef like always he saw a struggle try outs poster and this year coach Leon is coaching the team this year which meant Zex will have to work twice as hard as everyone else just to get into the team.Coach Leon will never forgive Zex for what he did to his knee last year.He punched him in the face on accedent while punching a punching bag and ever since then Coach Leon always hated Zex. Now for those of you who dont know what struggling is its a game where you have two people fight for a set amount of time the two people fight with very soft bats and they try to knock out the balls the opponent has each one has hundred balls and who ever has the most amount of ball wins and you can also try to grab your opponents balls for your own.Its easier said than done."I wonder if I make it this year."

It was the end of the day and Zex only had one class left which was P.E. and he new Coach Leon would be there telling everyone about tryouts which means he would be giving him an evil look the whole time.After everyone got dressed for P.E. Coach Leon came into the gym and started to talk.Zex didnt even listend as it was the same speech from last but then he heard his name being called."Zex!"Zex looked up at Coach Leon."Yeah?"Coach gave that evil look which made Zex want to punch all over again."Why dont you tell the class why you didnt make it last year."Now there was two ways to with from here.One do the right thing and tell the call's that he didnt work hard enough which everyone expects or Two do the wrong thing and make fun of Coach Leon."I didnt make the team because you couldnt take simple punch Coach."The classed laughed and soon after Zex was in Sander's office.

"Zex why did you make fun of Coach Leon."Zex didnt say anyhing all he did was stare outside of the window."Zex I know you feel like and outsider with everyone treating you so bad but you have to get pass all of that."Zex looked at Sanders with anger in his eye's he wanted to say how he really felt but didnt want to get in more touble.Sander's sighed."Zex you need to let go of your hate or you will never get along with anybody."Zex left the office without asking if he stayed there any longer he would have went crazy on Sanders.Zex stoped walking and rememberd somthing important."Tommorow is the anniversary of..."Zex kept walking all his anger was now gone he new tommorow was gonna be tough for him since he had to deal with the dreadful past all over again."Nothing is easy for me anymore."Zex walked down the hall and he could think about is that he to face tomorrow if he wanted to or not.

School was over and is now the weekend.Misuki took the chance to hangout with her little sister before she went and hanged out with Sakura again.While walking her sister to the playground Misuki couldnt help but think about what Sakura said to her."Is she right?"Misuki lying to herself but deep down she new the truth."Misuki whats wrong?"Misuki look down at her sister and smiled."Nothing is wrong Lena."They reached the park Lena started hang from the monkey bars the happiness is Misuki heart soon turn to anger once she saw Ryu."What do you wnat Ryu."Ryu stayed silent then look at Lena."Your little sister is sure energetic."Misuki groaned."I'll get to the point Misuki I want to say im sorry for what I did and to give you this."Ryu pulled out a panda bear that had a sticky note on it and it said."Please dont slap me." Misuki took the panda nad looked at Ryu."I forgive you.....I guess."Ryu new no one could resists a cute panda."Im not finshed though I also want to ask you out on a date."Misuki sat down on a bench and thought for awhile."Your pushing your luck Ryu but I guess I'll go out on a date with you but just one ok and if your gonna take me out some where take me out to get some seasalt icecream."Ryu agreed."Fine tommrow.You and me licking some seasalt ice cream."Misuki started to regret what she said but she new Ryu wouldnt screw up the whole date.

At Sakura's house Lee and Brandon were playing video games until Sakura knocked on the door of Lee's room."What do you want Sakura?"Brandon already new what she was going to say so he got up and left the room,Sakura followed.They went into Sakura's room and closed the door so they could get some privacy."I'll tell you what happend Sakura but you have to promise not to tell Lee about this."Sakura promised."I saw Zex coming to the party and I new he was going to start trouble so I stoped him then he got angry and threw the first punch I soon fought back but I soon lost if you havent of came then I would never have escaped from Zex's wrath."Sakura was thinking about what Ryu said earlier but she believed what Brandon said.Brandon took the alone time he had with Sakura and asked her to go out with her."I-I-I dont know Brandon...I mean you my brothers best friend and I dont think.."Brandon stoped her and looked straight into her eyes."Dont worry I took Lee into concderation here and I know I will treat you well.We known each other for a long time Sakura and I know you feel some chemistry between us."Sakura didnt say anything."I still dont know Brandon."Brandon left the room but not before saying."Think about ok."Sakura sat on her bed there was one reason why she couldnt go with Brandon and it was Zex."Zex..."A rose petal's soon feel off Sakura's dresser from the same rose's Zex wanted to give her,she stared at it for a second then decied to ask Misuki for adivce.

It seemed it was a big day for everyone on saturday.Ryu couldnt stop talking about his date with Misuki so Zex knocked him down with his pillow."Ouch dude that hurt."Zex went out Ryu followed.Misuki was getting ready her date she convinced Sakura to bring Brandon along so they could have a double date it took hours ofr Sakura to even agree to it but Misuki thought it was worth it so she could stop thinking about Zex.Speaking of Zex he was taking the train deep into the heart of town so he could spend the day there."This is gonna be tough..."Ryu knocked on the door of Misuki house and Lena listen opened the door."Hi!Is your sister here?"Lena sister exmained Ryu which creeped Ryu out but then she let him in.Ryu saw Misuki come down stairs.She wore a ceartian shirt which made Ryu laugh it said."You look better at night." Misuki crossed her arms."Your late Ryu!"Ryu looked at his watch."I sorry I didnt notice the time."Misuki sighed and they left the house as they were walking out Misuki old Ryu about the double date."Brandon and Misuki together...Wow didnt see that coming."Ryu was cool with the double he just wanted a kiss at the end of the date.The four had a good time walking towards the ice cream shop and Misuki saw a side of Ryu she liked."Here we are.Four Seasalt icecream please."As the boys were getting the ice cream Sakura and Misuki took the chance to talk about there dates."I told you Brandon would make a good boyfriend."Sakura smiled."Yeah he is a great guy and cute.So how about you and Ryu.?"Misuki thought how the date was going and then she spoke."I guess he is alright."The boys came with the Icecream and soon they started to eat."The best ice cream in town all thanks to me."Brandon looked at Ryu."I payed for it too you know."Ryu scratched his."I dont remember anything of the sort."Sakura giggeld and Brandon smirked but Misuki just sat there licking her ice cream."Why do you always try to be funny ."Ryu smiled."Because thats who I am babe your funny man."Misuki looked at Ryu and heard the word"your" in his sentence which made her think."Stop saying those things were just on one date and thats it."Ryu licked his ice cream and stayed silent.Brandon wanted to be alone with Sakura he quickly thought of a plan."Sakura can you come with me I need to show you somthing."Sakura and Brandon left the table leaving Ryu and Misuki alone.Misuki new what was going on and she was going to fall for whatever Ryu was planning."Take me home Ryu."Ryu jumbed back in shock."Why so soon babe?"Misuki didnt answer and she soon started walking."Ok fine be that way."

Sakura and Brandon were in front of the train station where they could see most of the town they then glanced at the clock tower which over look the whole town."Now that you got me alone Brandon what do you plan on doing."Brandon looked at Sakura and then he slowly got closer to her."Isnt it obvious."Brandon moved in for a kiss but Sakura slowly moved back."Is there somthing wrong Sakura.Im sorry if I was going to fast."Sakura sighed even on a date with Brandon she couldnt get her mind of Zex but she new she had to."Its nothing im sorry."They kissed again and this Sakura smiled.Ryu wasn't getting so much luck with his date she was still persistent of the <nothing is going to happend rule>."Do you hate me Misuki?"Misuki stoped walking and turned around."No."Ryu got closer to her but she then step back."Then why do you reject me everytime I get close?"Misuki didnt say anything for awhile but then summoned the courage to say what was on her mind."It's not that I like you its just that I cant...I mean your n-n-."Ryu sighed and then started to walk."You dont have to say anything ok Misuki."Misuki stoped Ryu she didnt know why she couldnt just tell her what was in her heart but she new she had to.She brought Ryu closer to her and she looked up at him."Your the nicest guy I ever met and I dont want to let you go Ryu."She slowly moved in for the kiss and so did Ryu."I guess this date didnt turn out so bad at least I got that kiss I wanted."

Zex walked to the middle of town to see an old building which was old and most of its interior was broken.If it wasnt for Zex this building would of had lots of people living in it."It was that day when I made a fool of myself."Zex use to live in this building before he went to Twilight high school but one day he had gotten drunk and he started to play around with some matches and soon enough a fire broke out.No one died but Zex didnt know about the fire until two days later where he was found on the train sleeping.The experinced change Zex and his life.Everyone hated him because so many people were injured.Zex stoped drinking but he never forgave himself for what he did that day so thats why he comes to this building every year as a constant reminder of what he did.Zex fell on his knees."Im such a fool!Why did I have to drink that day!"Tears fell down Zex's cheeks as he rose up from the ground.It was getting dark and Zex started to walk back home.

plz comment

 

[Prophet]

Okay, this is kinda wierd to say but...

First I think you should start a new paragraph with every new speaker, so people can catch the dialogue easier.

Second, the second and third chapter are largely improved from the first, but I think you might want to use Word or something that has spell check and grammar check because there are still a lot of errors in that region

Thirdly, the plot didn't exactly catch me, at first, and until the third chapter I kinda was drifting a little. You might want to cut the character bios and stick them in the story, meshing them with your story in order to follow the rules

Fourthly, Your not supposed to double post, even though I do that too sometimes. Both of us need to look into that, and we'll get better

Other then that, it seems to be going into an interesting direction, but it needs a lot of improvement.

 

[bnex100]

ehh...
u need to work on the plot
u're getting a story

will Zex and Sakura get together?

 

[<Roxas>]

wow someone posted yo.Zex and Sakura wont get together anytime soon.If I make another chapter I will make a better story