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Fanfiction ► The Entities .... my first fanfic



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Xidon

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The Entities

„Darkness and light, acting like one,
Spinning in all of their beauty and might.

Darkness and light so far but so close,
Separated by nothing and infinity both.

A soul shall split to Haven or Hell,
Maybe both or nothing at all.

But one thing there is,
Shrouded in mist, the beings of
Twilight will exist.“

-Bravo, bravo! You still singing that silly song?-
- You know as well as I that the song is not silly and you should know better then me that the song is true. Still my Nobody friend the rest of the song doesn't work for you, tell me why is that?
- Hmm.. keep singing, remind me of the rest and I'll tell ya.
- Very well.

……



Chapter 1: The dawning of a adventure

„Lets settle this!“ – said a pretty high boy with blond hair, probably 17 years old.
„ Don't think this fight is necessary, but if it is the only way than fine. I will fight you Troy!“ fiercely replayed a young boy, who seemed about the age of 15-16.
He had brown eyes and black hair. He was wearing black jeans wit chains attached to them and a blue shirt which has a small crown drawn on it, around it there were a few lightning bolts.
„Quit talking and start fighting girly pants!“

A fight between two boys started, the one named Troy rushed towards the black haired kid,
Holding his wooden staff with anger, he jumped and prepared to make a mid-air attack,
But as soon as he jumped - Slash – he fell. But he didn't trip, the other boy was quicker and he cut him down with his blunt sword which couldn't even cut cheese due to its dullness.

„Your insults are childish and so is your aditude, you deserved that Troy!“ – Said a rather weird looking kid. This one was younger then the other two, he had hair which defiled gravity, couse he had a 10 inch red streak that sticked out like a antenna. He wore green shoes, a short shirt with a lot of signs and badges sticked to it. If you saw him the first time you would think that he is a alien.


„Well thanks for cheering for me Max, seems like Troy will stay on the ground for a while longer, so we should get going.“
„Yeah you are probably right.“ – replied Max, he seemed a bit disapointed, as if he expected a longer fight.
„So to the usual spot?“
„Yeah the others are probably waiting. Oh and did you buy the balloons?“
„Balloons???“
„Dude you forgot!?! Aki is gonna kill you!“
„Damn I forgot!“
„You know she wants to have a friendship party! We are celebrating the 5 th year of our friendship.
I am against the party as you are, but she is going to hang you if you don't bring the things needed… Hey actually don't buy the stuff, maybe if she kills ya we wont have a party!“ – said Max with a funny looking smile on his face.
„You would wish so!!! Well I better hurry or else I'll have to face Akis wrath.“
„Yup, well I am going to the station, I gotta pick up a few things from the train, so see ya later Dino!“
Max starts running up the street which was leading towards the station.

„Bye!“ – said Dino „Well seems like I am going to the Market… buying balloons… and spending the rest of my hard earned money. Well better get going“
He starts walking in the opposite direction of the street.

.....

-Well this is my First fanfic and I made it a bit longer so you could get introduced with Dino and Max which will be one of the main characters in this fanfic, hope you enjoyed reading it!
And don't worry there is going to be a lot of more action in the next Chapter so don't be leaving me just yet!
 

Lycanthrope

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7/10.

Decently interesting, but not completely well-written

First of, If a quote is to continue to a new paragraph, you add quotation marks to the beginning of the new paragraph.

Also why the the beginning quotation marks down low?
 

Xidon

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Why do you want that?
^English isn't my native language so it is hard for me to write fan fic, thats why I put quotation marks low, couse I usually write them that way due to my native language grammar.
 

Haku

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I think that its a great start so far but as said earlier there were a few things that need to be fixed, but keep up the good work though.
 

Xidon

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Why do you want that?
^Ok I'll try to.... I might need some templates after chapter two just so you know so if anyone is interested, just PM.
I'll put the templates I need later.
 

Lycanthrope

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^English isn't my native language so it is hard for me to write fan fic, thats why I put quotation marks low, couse I usually write them that way due to my native language grammar.

Oh... that makes sense than. What's your native ctulture?
 
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