Hmm... Muchos better. 8.5/10. More descriptive, and better written. Not as flowy as it can be, but it was still good.
Fanfiction ► The Crossroads of Existence
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good chapter!
They're in the big city!
They're in the big city!
((Shadows in the Streets))
Welcome to Metropolis, the neon sign seemed burned into Xekim's retinas he was on the verge of screaming. Where were they? Why did they end up in this world of all places? Why did his world get consumed and why the hell was he tied up along with his brother in a jail cell?!
All these questions were circling around in Xekim's head. He was surprised his head didn't burst.
"Zachery, we need to find a place to stay." Xekim said looking around for something that remotely resembles an inn. He had no such luck.
"okay, scratch that last statement, we need a map or directory of this city." He began to walk along the city streets and Zachery followed. There were so many people in the place. This one city was probably filled with more people then half the world of Terros. Xekim felt so small. He kept walking, his discomfort increasing as he looked and saw violent acts, poor beggars and pure cruelty. It was pitiful and mildly disgusting to Xekim. Zachery ignored it and kept walking. Xekim walked after him.
After a few minutes they discovered an Inn. It was rather nice, then again that might be the problem.
"Six hundred munny!"
"But i don't have that much..." Said Xekim with a groan.
"Then tough luck kid!"
"I'll pay for them." Said a female voice from the far corner of the lobby floor of this Inn. A woman walked over to Xekim and held out her hand in greeting. Xekim took it cautiously and shook hands with this woman.
"I'm Tifa Lockheart. I'm on my out, but you can have my room. I've paid of for another week on the room. In that time I imagine you can find some money keep the rent up on your own. Tifa walked out the lobby door before Xekim could really thank her. He smiled, got the keys to the room, and ran to the elevator, Zachery chasing close behind.
Xekim sat in the elevator as they ascended the enormous building. It would be a couple minutes until they hit the their floor and Zachery was looking at Xekim in a worried way.
"What?" Xekim asked.
"You look different since the day mom died. Your hair goes from white to black and your skin, it's all pale. you look sick."
"That's none of your business." Xekim said feeling like Zachery was heading towards a fragile subject.
"I'm your brother Xekim, it's as much my business as it is yours."
"Stay out of it!" Xekim said mildly surprised by the anger in his voice.
"No, I'm worried. This isn't like you. you would yell at me like this if you were yourself."
Xekim took out a keyblade and held it to Zachery's neck. He wasn't able to control himself. The damage the darkness had done, was far deeper than just the physical.
"Leave me alone!" He pushed his against the wall and put away his keyblade. Then he looked away from Zachery and then stared at the ceiling. suddenly he felt sad, and scared of himself. what was he becoming. These were the early side affects, what did they damage?
Zachery walked out of the elevator quickly when it arrived at the floor the room was on and Zachery got as far away as he could from Xekim when they got into the well furnished room. Xekim would like to apologize to Zachery, but his brother would understand, not quite yet. Hopefully they would find that Tiera girl soon. Maybe she would have the answers they needed.
((chapter five soon!!))
Welcome to Metropolis, the neon sign seemed burned into Xekim's retinas he was on the verge of screaming. Where were they? Why did they end up in this world of all places? Why did his world get consumed and why the hell was he tied up along with his brother in a jail cell?!
All these questions were circling around in Xekim's head. He was surprised his head didn't burst.
"Zachery, we need to find a place to stay." Xekim said looking around for something that remotely resembles an inn. He had no such luck.
"okay, scratch that last statement, we need a map or directory of this city." He began to walk along the city streets and Zachery followed. There were so many people in the place. This one city was probably filled with more people then half the world of Terros. Xekim felt so small. He kept walking, his discomfort increasing as he looked and saw violent acts, poor beggars and pure cruelty. It was pitiful and mildly disgusting to Xekim. Zachery ignored it and kept walking. Xekim walked after him.
After a few minutes they discovered an Inn. It was rather nice, then again that might be the problem.
"Six hundred munny!"
"But i don't have that much..." Said Xekim with a groan.
"Then tough luck kid!"
"I'll pay for them." Said a female voice from the far corner of the lobby floor of this Inn. A woman walked over to Xekim and held out her hand in greeting. Xekim took it cautiously and shook hands with this woman.
"I'm Tifa Lockheart. I'm on my out, but you can have my room. I've paid of for another week on the room. In that time I imagine you can find some money keep the rent up on your own. Tifa walked out the lobby door before Xekim could really thank her. He smiled, got the keys to the room, and ran to the elevator, Zachery chasing close behind.
Xekim sat in the elevator as they ascended the enormous building. It would be a couple minutes until they hit the their floor and Zachery was looking at Xekim in a worried way.
"What?" Xekim asked.
"You look different since the day mom died. Your hair goes from white to black and your skin, it's all pale. you look sick."
"That's none of your business." Xekim said feeling like Zachery was heading towards a fragile subject.
"I'm your brother Xekim, it's as much my business as it is yours."
"Stay out of it!" Xekim said mildly surprised by the anger in his voice.
"No, I'm worried. This isn't like you. you would yell at me like this if you were yourself."
Xekim took out a keyblade and held it to Zachery's neck. He wasn't able to control himself. The damage the darkness had done, was far deeper than just the physical.
"Leave me alone!" He pushed his against the wall and put away his keyblade. Then he looked away from Zachery and then stared at the ceiling. suddenly he felt sad, and scared of himself. what was he becoming. These were the early side affects, what did they damage?
Zachery walked out of the elevator quickly when it arrived at the floor the room was on and Zachery got as far away as he could from Xekim when they got into the well furnished room. Xekim would like to apologize to Zachery, but his brother would understand, not quite yet. Hopefully they would find that Tiera girl soon. Maybe she would have the answers they needed.
((chapter five soon!!))
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Simply superb! I love your chapters. You're turning into a telented writer! Keep it up! Mika will rate for the first time... 9/10. Only cause' I like your writing. Nyah-ha-han-su!
8/10.
Superb. But, try making a new paragraph every change in someone talking. Also, there were a few capitalization and punctuation errors, but, they weren't very noticeable. Your writing is improving every chapter.
Superb. But, try making a new paragraph every change in someone talking. Also, there were a few capitalization and punctuation errors, but, they weren't very noticeable. Your writing is improving every chapter.
Nice chapter!
It's a short, but not too short...
It's a short, but not too short...
((Chapter Five: Balthier and Fran))
So it's been a week and Xekim has finally gotten the hang of the city. After that first day in the elevator Zachery has kept his distance from Xekim, but slowly, he's begun to see that Xekim was sorry, and that he wasn't himself. Now the problem was, how to get more than two nights rent in three hours without robbing a bank. At this point there were two options.
1)Find a job, this option is easy enough, the hard part is actually getting the job. adults may not see the value in hiring two thirteen year old to do their dirty work.
2)Start a life in crime, again this one is also simple and yet, the most difficult part is knowing who to rob and get arrested by a friendly man holding a taser.
Xekim and Zachery decided to go for the safe and easy route and find jobs. The work finally began. Xekim had walked up to several businesses and companies to try and earn money, but nothing worked. Eventually Xekim was forced to work for the people of the city, by doing chores and small jobs for fifty to a hundred munny a piece. Anything from getting a cat out of a tree to planting and gardening. By the end of the three hours they ended up with 1800 munny. Enough for three more nights and that's all they intended to stay. After the last night they needed to find a way to get out of this world. This wasn't going to be easy. Obviously, they couldn't pull a ship out of a magic hat and fly away. They needed to buy one. The cheapest ship they could find was 68900 munny. They'd probably be able to earn that much in a year without spending any of it on shelter and food. So the only way to get a ship was, to steal one. No one was willing to give one to them. They had to sneak aboard one and pilot it out of here, but first, they had to find a pilot.
Xekim doubted they would be able to find one that easily but that was first. They needed a pilot who was good and was able to break the law and they were sure they could find one if they auditioned a few people. Xekim had asked around some of the shadier people in the city. He asked other criminals and gangs for any information on a pilot and at last he got a good lead.
"I know a good pilot for you. His name is Balthier. He's usually found in one of the local bars. He travels around with this, rabbit lady. I'm sure if you can pay them, you can get at least one good ride out of them."
"What does Balthier look like?" Xekim asked the man with sudden interest.
"He's a little taller than you by about three inches, he's also got short brown hair and if you see the rabbit lady, you find him."
Xekim took his advice and snuck into a few bars. He was rather tall, but his current outfit wasn't going to cut it. So he bought a new one. It was a black coat like out fit. It was long and down to his ankles and it had a hood to hide his face. He would put it on over his normal out fit and just look like one of the regular shady costumers. He looked around town and found a bar that looked promising. The place was known by the by standards at the Underground. This name was mainly a description of the people who came to this place. Crooks, vandals and murderers in some cases.
Xekim looked around and saw a woman sitting next to a man in the shadows. She was wearing a black, rather revealing outfit, but he was looking at her head. She had long rabbit like ears and Xekim assumed that she was the rabbit lady the man in the alleyway was talking about. He walked over to them and was about to Say something when the rabbit woman took out a knife and held it to his throat. Xekim gasped and the other people in the bar were pretending not to notice, though Xekim saw a couple people turn their heads and watch.
"You should be cautious about where you tread boy, you might get yourself hurt." said the woman with the knife at his throat.
"I'm only here to talk to Balthier, I'm looking for a pilot." Xekim said hoping it worked. the rabbit woman pulled her knife away and gestured for Xekim to sit down across from her and another person who was just now deciding to it forward. He had light skin with brown eyes. he was wearing a brown, nicely disigned vest over a white dress shirt. His hand was covered in rings of every color, and he wore dark brown pants with a gun holster at his side.
"So you're looking for a pilot. Well, that could be easily arranged. What are you planning to pay to seal this deal." Said Balthier in a mildly British accent.
"A ship. I'm planning on taking one and leaving this world."
"Well well. You are planning to give us full control of a ship that we can easily take from you once we board it." Balthier said with a sneer. Xekim didn't have time for this, he took out both keyblades and held them to each one their heads. At the same time, the rabbit woman took out a blade and held it to his head and balthier took out a gun and pointed it directly between Xekim's eyes. Balthier looked around and began to laugh.
"You are starting to act like a real thief now. fine me and my associate Fran will help you. but only if you keep your word." Balthier said.
"I will." Xekim said putting away his keyblades as the Fran and Balthier put away their weapons.
"Very well then, when will you have the ship." Fran said.
"By tomorrow." Xekim said slowly getting up.
"Fine, It was a pleasure doing business with you." Balthier said shaking Xekim hand and sitting back into the shadows. Fran gave Xekim a devilish smile before turning back to Balthier and talking with him. Xekim turned around and walked out of the Bar.
Fran waited for Xekim to leave the bar and then said
"Are we really making a deal with a thirteen year old?
"He's not just some normal kid, and also, it's as good an excuse and any to leave this stupid world." Balthier said taking a sip of his ale.
So it's been a week and Xekim has finally gotten the hang of the city. After that first day in the elevator Zachery has kept his distance from Xekim, but slowly, he's begun to see that Xekim was sorry, and that he wasn't himself. Now the problem was, how to get more than two nights rent in three hours without robbing a bank. At this point there were two options.
1)Find a job, this option is easy enough, the hard part is actually getting the job. adults may not see the value in hiring two thirteen year old to do their dirty work.
2)Start a life in crime, again this one is also simple and yet, the most difficult part is knowing who to rob and get arrested by a friendly man holding a taser.
Xekim and Zachery decided to go for the safe and easy route and find jobs. The work finally began. Xekim had walked up to several businesses and companies to try and earn money, but nothing worked. Eventually Xekim was forced to work for the people of the city, by doing chores and small jobs for fifty to a hundred munny a piece. Anything from getting a cat out of a tree to planting and gardening. By the end of the three hours they ended up with 1800 munny. Enough for three more nights and that's all they intended to stay. After the last night they needed to find a way to get out of this world. This wasn't going to be easy. Obviously, they couldn't pull a ship out of a magic hat and fly away. They needed to buy one. The cheapest ship they could find was 68900 munny. They'd probably be able to earn that much in a year without spending any of it on shelter and food. So the only way to get a ship was, to steal one. No one was willing to give one to them. They had to sneak aboard one and pilot it out of here, but first, they had to find a pilot.
Xekim doubted they would be able to find one that easily but that was first. They needed a pilot who was good and was able to break the law and they were sure they could find one if they auditioned a few people. Xekim had asked around some of the shadier people in the city. He asked other criminals and gangs for any information on a pilot and at last he got a good lead.
"I know a good pilot for you. His name is Balthier. He's usually found in one of the local bars. He travels around with this, rabbit lady. I'm sure if you can pay them, you can get at least one good ride out of them."
"What does Balthier look like?" Xekim asked the man with sudden interest.
"He's a little taller than you by about three inches, he's also got short brown hair and if you see the rabbit lady, you find him."
Xekim took his advice and snuck into a few bars. He was rather tall, but his current outfit wasn't going to cut it. So he bought a new one. It was a black coat like out fit. It was long and down to his ankles and it had a hood to hide his face. He would put it on over his normal out fit and just look like one of the regular shady costumers. He looked around town and found a bar that looked promising. The place was known by the by standards at the Underground. This name was mainly a description of the people who came to this place. Crooks, vandals and murderers in some cases.
Xekim looked around and saw a woman sitting next to a man in the shadows. She was wearing a black, rather revealing outfit, but he was looking at her head. She had long rabbit like ears and Xekim assumed that she was the rabbit lady the man in the alleyway was talking about. He walked over to them and was about to Say something when the rabbit woman took out a knife and held it to his throat. Xekim gasped and the other people in the bar were pretending not to notice, though Xekim saw a couple people turn their heads and watch.
"You should be cautious about where you tread boy, you might get yourself hurt." said the woman with the knife at his throat.
"I'm only here to talk to Balthier, I'm looking for a pilot." Xekim said hoping it worked. the rabbit woman pulled her knife away and gestured for Xekim to sit down across from her and another person who was just now deciding to it forward. He had light skin with brown eyes. he was wearing a brown, nicely disigned vest over a white dress shirt. His hand was covered in rings of every color, and he wore dark brown pants with a gun holster at his side.
"So you're looking for a pilot. Well, that could be easily arranged. What are you planning to pay to seal this deal." Said Balthier in a mildly British accent.
"A ship. I'm planning on taking one and leaving this world."
"Well well. You are planning to give us full control of a ship that we can easily take from you once we board it." Balthier said with a sneer. Xekim didn't have time for this, he took out both keyblades and held them to each one their heads. At the same time, the rabbit woman took out a blade and held it to his head and balthier took out a gun and pointed it directly between Xekim's eyes. Balthier looked around and began to laugh.
"You are starting to act like a real thief now. fine me and my associate Fran will help you. but only if you keep your word." Balthier said.
"I will." Xekim said putting away his keyblades as the Fran and Balthier put away their weapons.
"Very well then, when will you have the ship." Fran said.
"By tomorrow." Xekim said slowly getting up.
"Fine, It was a pleasure doing business with you." Balthier said shaking Xekim hand and sitting back into the shadows. Fran gave Xekim a devilish smile before turning back to Balthier and talking with him. Xekim turned around and walked out of the Bar.
Fran waited for Xekim to leave the bar and then said
"Are we really making a deal with a thirteen year old?
"He's not just some normal kid, and also, it's as good an excuse and any to leave this stupid world." Balthier said taking a sip of his ale.
8.5/10. Sweet chapter. Your writing is still getting better, and it was easier to read.
You need no tips as of now.
You need no tips as of now.
((Chapter Six: Departure. ))
"I'm this close to backing out on our deal Xekie." Balthier said holding thumb and forefinger an inch apart.
"My name is Xekim, and also why?!"
"well, to be honest, this ship is a piece of junk. I've never disgraced myself by flying in a ship like this before."
"Suck it up thief, it's the only way you're getting out of this world." Zachery said eyeing Balthier and Fran with an expression that made it look like he just had a sour candy. Zachery didn't like the idea of working with criminals.
"Watch yourself child." Fran said glancing at him for a minute and then looking at the ship again. The ship, was...in need of some care. The paint, well there was no paint on it anymore. The engines were outdated and the window was cracked. It was flyable but, who knows if they'll survive a flight in this machine. Xekim walked into the ship and looked at the controls and upholstery. It wasn't too bad. It was salvageable, anyways. Xekim sat down at the controls and felt how they handled. They were smooth and it seemed that it may have been use a lot, but well handled.
"Well seeing as we're going to repair this thing we need parts and I'll be willing to pay half of the munny. Xekim took out the last 2000 munny he had from working around the town and then said
"There, now buy the parts. I'll try and get the power on. Zachery will go with you. "
"what!" Said Zachery and and Balthier at the same time.
"I need you all to start trusting each other, so the only way for that to happen, is if both spend some time working without me. Oh and also, I need you to buy Zachery something to fight with. He's part of the school martial arts team, so, buy him something to help him with physical combat." Balthier nodded and began walking away towards the center of town. Zachery took one last anxious look at Xekim before following.
Zachery and Balthier went off to buy the part they needed. It wasn't going to be that difficult. A bottle of black spray paint, shield panels, and a laser cannon just in case of an attack in space. These were things you could get at any ship repair shop. Well, not the laser, that we had to get specially from the black market. After they gave the parts to Xekim and Fran so they could repair the ship, Zachery and Balthier went to get Zachery a weapon. Zachery thought about what he wanted and then decided on a pair of Knuckle Knives. They were small and also, just the same kind of weapon he used to practice with at home. He tried them out and they felt comfortable in his hands. He put them away in a small sheath that came with them. Soon after they began to walk back to the ship, something went wrong. Men started coming out of the alleyways. Each of them carrying knives and guns. They surrounded Balthier and Zachery and then one of the men came out of the crowd of people. The man wore a finely tailored suit and he had slicked back hair. The classic build for a rich con-man.
"I am Yelson Heights. You seem to have property of ours." Yelson said with a humorless smile.
"The ship is ours now, you won't get it back." Zachery said calmly to the man.
"Ah, no. That ship has a prototype navigation system. It will allow use to travel through deep space and find new worlds. It's near enough priceless and we want it back." Yelson said gesturing for his man to come closer. Balthier took out three orbs from his pocket. One was red, one was blue and the last one green.
"These are magic essences Zachery." Whispered Balthier. "Use them and they will give you magical abilities. They should be enough to defeat these thugs." Zachery took them and then held the stones in his hand. They began to glow and then they vanished. Zachery felt a new power awaken inside of him. he put his hand forward and a ball of fire appeared in hand. He sent that ball of fire directly at Yelson and one of Yelson's men jumped in front of it taking the blast. The man fell dead, burned. Yelson smile turned into a frown of rage and the his cried
"Attack!!"
Balthier took out a rifle and then fired it at one of the men. He fell to the ground dead, a bullet between his eyes,
"We can't beat them all alone, we need to get Fran and Xekim. We'll need to make an opening and make a run for it." Balthier shot a few more men and Zachery made a white mist in his hands and then fire a steam of icy wind at part of the crowd. They froze and then Zachery took out his two new blades. He did one from ward flip and started killing the henchmen of Yelson. Yelson called more men, but it was too late. Zachery had already opened up a whole in the crowd of men and ran towards the ship, Balthier fired at the men one more time before running with him.
They ran faster and finally had the ship in their sights. Xekim saw them running towards the ship and then looked a few feet behind Balthier and his brother to see the crowd of thugs. Fran did two mid air flips and landed off of the top of the ship and then ran at the crowd, knocking out and killing a lot of them with just her bare hands. Xekim was pressed a button and the power finally came on. He'd been trying to get it working since his brother left with Balthier. He had to rewire the insides and then finally he got it turned on and running. Fran had finished adding the parts we needed, though the paint job wasn't done, that could wait.
Xekim summoned his two keyblades and jumped into the battle. He cut through a lot of the men and then found Yelson. He swung behind him grabbing his arms and holding them behind his back. The Xekim held one of his keyblades to Yelson's neck.
"you really want this ship badly enough that you are willing to lose your life." Xekim said into his ear. Yelson was terrified, he looked at Fran killing his men and then said
"alright, you win, m-men lets leave, we can easily get another system and ship." Yelson was obviously lying, but at least he was done attacking people. Xekim let go of Yelson and then he and his gang of thugs walked away. Xekim smiled and then looked at the others.
"Nice job everyone." Xekim said looking at the men dead or unconscious on the ground. Zachery wasn't looking to happy. Baltheir and Fran was smiling and they walked into the ship. Xekim grabbed Zachery's hand and pulled him into the ship, Zachery was obviously afraid of flying in this thing. Balthier and Fran got into the pilot seats while Xekim and Zachery sat in the back of the ship. Balthier ignited the engine and the navigation system turned on. They began to rise up and then began to travel towards the atmosphere. Finally they were on their way to a new world.
((Sorry for the delay,...i'm back now!))
"I'm this close to backing out on our deal Xekie." Balthier said holding thumb and forefinger an inch apart.
"My name is Xekim, and also why?!"
"well, to be honest, this ship is a piece of junk. I've never disgraced myself by flying in a ship like this before."
"Suck it up thief, it's the only way you're getting out of this world." Zachery said eyeing Balthier and Fran with an expression that made it look like he just had a sour candy. Zachery didn't like the idea of working with criminals.
"Watch yourself child." Fran said glancing at him for a minute and then looking at the ship again. The ship, was...in need of some care. The paint, well there was no paint on it anymore. The engines were outdated and the window was cracked. It was flyable but, who knows if they'll survive a flight in this machine. Xekim walked into the ship and looked at the controls and upholstery. It wasn't too bad. It was salvageable, anyways. Xekim sat down at the controls and felt how they handled. They were smooth and it seemed that it may have been use a lot, but well handled.
"Well seeing as we're going to repair this thing we need parts and I'll be willing to pay half of the munny. Xekim took out the last 2000 munny he had from working around the town and then said
"There, now buy the parts. I'll try and get the power on. Zachery will go with you. "
"what!" Said Zachery and and Balthier at the same time.
"I need you all to start trusting each other, so the only way for that to happen, is if both spend some time working without me. Oh and also, I need you to buy Zachery something to fight with. He's part of the school martial arts team, so, buy him something to help him with physical combat." Balthier nodded and began walking away towards the center of town. Zachery took one last anxious look at Xekim before following.
Zachery and Balthier went off to buy the part they needed. It wasn't going to be that difficult. A bottle of black spray paint, shield panels, and a laser cannon just in case of an attack in space. These were things you could get at any ship repair shop. Well, not the laser, that we had to get specially from the black market. After they gave the parts to Xekim and Fran so they could repair the ship, Zachery and Balthier went to get Zachery a weapon. Zachery thought about what he wanted and then decided on a pair of Knuckle Knives. They were small and also, just the same kind of weapon he used to practice with at home. He tried them out and they felt comfortable in his hands. He put them away in a small sheath that came with them. Soon after they began to walk back to the ship, something went wrong. Men started coming out of the alleyways. Each of them carrying knives and guns. They surrounded Balthier and Zachery and then one of the men came out of the crowd of people. The man wore a finely tailored suit and he had slicked back hair. The classic build for a rich con-man.
"I am Yelson Heights. You seem to have property of ours." Yelson said with a humorless smile.
"The ship is ours now, you won't get it back." Zachery said calmly to the man.
"Ah, no. That ship has a prototype navigation system. It will allow use to travel through deep space and find new worlds. It's near enough priceless and we want it back." Yelson said gesturing for his man to come closer. Balthier took out three orbs from his pocket. One was red, one was blue and the last one green.
"These are magic essences Zachery." Whispered Balthier. "Use them and they will give you magical abilities. They should be enough to defeat these thugs." Zachery took them and then held the stones in his hand. They began to glow and then they vanished. Zachery felt a new power awaken inside of him. he put his hand forward and a ball of fire appeared in hand. He sent that ball of fire directly at Yelson and one of Yelson's men jumped in front of it taking the blast. The man fell dead, burned. Yelson smile turned into a frown of rage and the his cried
"Attack!!"
Balthier took out a rifle and then fired it at one of the men. He fell to the ground dead, a bullet between his eyes,
"We can't beat them all alone, we need to get Fran and Xekim. We'll need to make an opening and make a run for it." Balthier shot a few more men and Zachery made a white mist in his hands and then fire a steam of icy wind at part of the crowd. They froze and then Zachery took out his two new blades. He did one from ward flip and started killing the henchmen of Yelson. Yelson called more men, but it was too late. Zachery had already opened up a whole in the crowd of men and ran towards the ship, Balthier fired at the men one more time before running with him.
They ran faster and finally had the ship in their sights. Xekim saw them running towards the ship and then looked a few feet behind Balthier and his brother to see the crowd of thugs. Fran did two mid air flips and landed off of the top of the ship and then ran at the crowd, knocking out and killing a lot of them with just her bare hands. Xekim was pressed a button and the power finally came on. He'd been trying to get it working since his brother left with Balthier. He had to rewire the insides and then finally he got it turned on and running. Fran had finished adding the parts we needed, though the paint job wasn't done, that could wait.
Xekim summoned his two keyblades and jumped into the battle. He cut through a lot of the men and then found Yelson. He swung behind him grabbing his arms and holding them behind his back. The Xekim held one of his keyblades to Yelson's neck.
"you really want this ship badly enough that you are willing to lose your life." Xekim said into his ear. Yelson was terrified, he looked at Fran killing his men and then said
"alright, you win, m-men lets leave, we can easily get another system and ship." Yelson was obviously lying, but at least he was done attacking people. Xekim let go of Yelson and then he and his gang of thugs walked away. Xekim smiled and then looked at the others.
"Nice job everyone." Xekim said looking at the men dead or unconscious on the ground. Zachery wasn't looking to happy. Baltheir and Fran was smiling and they walked into the ship. Xekim grabbed Zachery's hand and pulled him into the ship, Zachery was obviously afraid of flying in this thing. Balthier and Fran got into the pilot seats while Xekim and Zachery sat in the back of the ship. Balthier ignited the engine and the navigation system turned on. They began to rise up and then began to travel towards the atmosphere. Finally they were on their way to a new world.
((Sorry for the delay,...i'm back now!))
I missed two chapters!!!!!
They were both good!!!!
They were both good!!!!
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Still, your writing skills never cease to be with the last chapters'. You're making a great fanficition and if you keep it up, the story will be within my top five... Which is very hard, believe me... *sticks up her thumb*
((Alright, I wanna thank the readers for the complements they've given me so far. On this chapter, I'm going to go out on a limb, and do something......unusual. Some will love it, some will, like it, some will throw their computer away....but eh. oh well.
PS. No, I don’t think they will hate it.....I think?))
((Chapter Seven: Spirits, Pigs and a Little Girl..))
The alarm sounded off in the ship. Xekim woke up from his sleep first and went to the pilots seat where he found Balthier messing with the controls. He was looking at the navigation system and then looked at Xekim.
"Well, we're coming close to a world, and it looks like a we're under attack." Blathier said with no really sound of worry.
"why are you so calm about it?" Xekim said in an irritated way.
"Because we've already been shot and are going to crash-land on that planet." Balthier said with a shrug. Xekim opened his mouth to say something, but then decided it would be best if he let it go. Xekim walked over to the still sleeping Zachery and shook him gently awake. He was drooling on the table in his sleep again, typical. Zachery heard the alarm and then realized something was wrong.
"I knew Balthier would crash us, I was right!"
"instead of saying I told you so, buckle up and be prepared for a bumpy ride." Balthier said to Zachery scornfully. The ship began to waver and then they began to descend into the atmosphere of the world they were going to. The landing got worse as they got closer to the ground. The ship shook violently as the wind created turbulence. Then all at once there was a mighty thud and then ship slid across a grassy field next to a river. The ship skid across the ground for about ten more seconds until stopping with a terrible jerk. Xekim was badly shaken and Zachery was too. Zachery unbuckled his seat belt and looked at Balthier and Fran at the pilot’s seat. Balthier had banged his head rather badly on the console and Fran was unconcious on her chair with a bad gash on her head.
“Zachery, you take care of their wounds, I’ll take a look around.” Xekim said as he opened the hatch of the ship and jumped out. He landed on the beautiful grassy field he’d seen on the way down here. It was sunny as he’d ever seen it anywhere, except his home. He walked around and was tempted to lie down in the grass and fall asleep, but it wasn’t the time for that. He had to figure out where they’d ended up. He found a small creek, it was mostly filled in by large rocks and then Xekim caught the smell of something delicious. He followed the smell, walking up streets and stairs until he found a small, outdoor restaurant. He looked at the food and was about to eat some when he heard a girl about his age, complaining to her parents.
“We shouldn’t eat here, we’re gonna get in trouble.”
“Don’t worry, you’ve got daddy here, he’s got credit cards and cash.”
“Chihiro, you’ve got to try this, it’s so tender.” Xekim looked at the worried girl and her two parents, who were now gobbling down the food like pigs. The girl got upset and walked away up the street. Xekim jumped on to the roof of one of these houses and then jumped from roof to roof, until he found the girl again, standing on the railing of a bridge looking down at what appeared to be a train passing under it. A little bit up the bridge there was a large bathhouse. Xekim watched her for a minute then heard,
“You shouldn’t be here, Get out of here now!” The girl looked perplexed. “It’s almost night, leave before it gets dark.” All this was spoken by another kid who looked about Xekim’s age, but this kid, felt older. “Their lighting the lamps, got out of here, you have to get across the river, go, I’ll distract them.” He pushed the girl away from the bridge and she began to run. Then the boy held two of his fingers together and blew on them, making scales of some kind come out of them. Xekim barely registered that it was night time, He ran and saw the girl running and then he saw that her parents had become....pigs? This was getting weird. Xekim looked at the street and saw black spirits appearing and then he saw the girl frantically calling for her parents. He followed her from the tops of the buildings avoiding the spirits and creatures that might see him. Then he saw her heading towards the river, but it was apparently flooded. Xekim’s eyes widened and he looked at the river again after rubbing his eyes. He was stuck, that was just what he needed. Xekim could see a ship coming in from some far off city, seemingly made of lights. The ship docked and strange masks began to float out of them. The masks were pretty and colored in purples and blacks. The girl seemed scared and knelt down in apparent shock. The poor girl ran for it once the mask began to form bodies of their own and they came out of the ship.
“What is this place?” Xekim said before following the girl again. He’d have to find a way to get information.
PS. No, I don’t think they will hate it.....I think?))
((Chapter Seven: Spirits, Pigs and a Little Girl..))
The alarm sounded off in the ship. Xekim woke up from his sleep first and went to the pilots seat where he found Balthier messing with the controls. He was looking at the navigation system and then looked at Xekim.
"Well, we're coming close to a world, and it looks like a we're under attack." Blathier said with no really sound of worry.
"why are you so calm about it?" Xekim said in an irritated way.
"Because we've already been shot and are going to crash-land on that planet." Balthier said with a shrug. Xekim opened his mouth to say something, but then decided it would be best if he let it go. Xekim walked over to the still sleeping Zachery and shook him gently awake. He was drooling on the table in his sleep again, typical. Zachery heard the alarm and then realized something was wrong.
"I knew Balthier would crash us, I was right!"
"instead of saying I told you so, buckle up and be prepared for a bumpy ride." Balthier said to Zachery scornfully. The ship began to waver and then they began to descend into the atmosphere of the world they were going to. The landing got worse as they got closer to the ground. The ship shook violently as the wind created turbulence. Then all at once there was a mighty thud and then ship slid across a grassy field next to a river. The ship skid across the ground for about ten more seconds until stopping with a terrible jerk. Xekim was badly shaken and Zachery was too. Zachery unbuckled his seat belt and looked at Balthier and Fran at the pilot’s seat. Balthier had banged his head rather badly on the console and Fran was unconcious on her chair with a bad gash on her head.
“Zachery, you take care of their wounds, I’ll take a look around.” Xekim said as he opened the hatch of the ship and jumped out. He landed on the beautiful grassy field he’d seen on the way down here. It was sunny as he’d ever seen it anywhere, except his home. He walked around and was tempted to lie down in the grass and fall asleep, but it wasn’t the time for that. He had to figure out where they’d ended up. He found a small creek, it was mostly filled in by large rocks and then Xekim caught the smell of something delicious. He followed the smell, walking up streets and stairs until he found a small, outdoor restaurant. He looked at the food and was about to eat some when he heard a girl about his age, complaining to her parents.
“We shouldn’t eat here, we’re gonna get in trouble.”
“Don’t worry, you’ve got daddy here, he’s got credit cards and cash.”
“Chihiro, you’ve got to try this, it’s so tender.” Xekim looked at the worried girl and her two parents, who were now gobbling down the food like pigs. The girl got upset and walked away up the street. Xekim jumped on to the roof of one of these houses and then jumped from roof to roof, until he found the girl again, standing on the railing of a bridge looking down at what appeared to be a train passing under it. A little bit up the bridge there was a large bathhouse. Xekim watched her for a minute then heard,
“You shouldn’t be here, Get out of here now!” The girl looked perplexed. “It’s almost night, leave before it gets dark.” All this was spoken by another kid who looked about Xekim’s age, but this kid, felt older. “Their lighting the lamps, got out of here, you have to get across the river, go, I’ll distract them.” He pushed the girl away from the bridge and she began to run. Then the boy held two of his fingers together and blew on them, making scales of some kind come out of them. Xekim barely registered that it was night time, He ran and saw the girl running and then he saw that her parents had become....pigs? This was getting weird. Xekim looked at the street and saw black spirits appearing and then he saw the girl frantically calling for her parents. He followed her from the tops of the buildings avoiding the spirits and creatures that might see him. Then he saw her heading towards the river, but it was apparently flooded. Xekim’s eyes widened and he looked at the river again after rubbing his eyes. He was stuck, that was just what he needed. Xekim could see a ship coming in from some far off city, seemingly made of lights. The ship docked and strange masks began to float out of them. The masks were pretty and colored in purples and blacks. The girl seemed scared and knelt down in apparent shock. The poor girl ran for it once the mask began to form bodies of their own and they came out of the ship.
“What is this place?” Xekim said before following the girl again. He’d have to find a way to get information.
Curse my lack of posting on read stuff.
I read both chapters, which are equally fantastic. 9/10
I read both chapters, which are equally fantastic. 9/10
Nice chapter!
It seems familliar, the pig thing......
It seems familliar, the pig thing......
Alright. I apologize for all the delays lately. Tommorow i willl have chapter eight entitled Haku up and for Now, Angel's Prayer drew Xekim's keyblades. I'm puting them here for all to see.
Truly awesome. Thanks AP. ^_^
Truly awesome. Thanks AP. ^_^
Cool!!!!!
I'll try to wait patiently....
I'll try to wait patiently....
((alrighty, here it is, AT LAST. *claps for himself*))
((Chapter Eight: Haku and the Witch))
Xekim jumped across the roof tops and found Chihiro curled up in a ball from the shock and strangeness of this new world. Xekim was about to go down and help her, when the boy he'd seen before came to her side and began to help her. Xekim listened to him explain who he was and give her some food. He smiled and then looked around at his surroundings. The bath house he saw earlier was the center of everything and it made him think it was where all the spirits were going. He turned around just in time to see Haku and Chihiro running away, and fast. Then he saw a bird staring at him. It was odd, it had a human face and it looked like it had hair pinned up in a bun. Xekim stared back at it in interest, and then alarm. The bird then flew away towards the bath house top floor. Xekim jumped and ran after it. He tripped on a loose tile on the roof of a house and then lost the bird.
Xekim cursed and then ran to the bath house. He landed on the ground in front of the bridge he saw before. A few spirits looked in his direction and walked away hastily. A frog-like person came up to him with a lamp.
"you smell like a human! Huma....." Xekim didn't give him the change to finish, he elbowed him in the ribs, just hard enough to take the breath out of him and Xekim ran. He ran past the bridge and then through a hidden door. He closed it and then heard a sigh behind him. He turned around and saw Chihiro and Haku talking. Xekim was hoping he would be seen, but he had a feeling that he was safe with these people. Haku stood up and then said
"Who are you!"
"I'm Xekim, I crossed the river and got lost here, same as her." Xekim said pointing at Chihiro who wasn't looking as scared anymore. Haku nodded and Chihiro walked trough a door leading down to a steep stair case. Xekim got seized from behind by about three spirits. He wanted to hit them and get them off his back, but he then he thought. maybe they'll take me to the person who runs this place. Haku's eyes widened but he smiled when Xekim winked at him. He was walked to a large elevator and then Haku was out of sight. The frog-like spirits who were holding him hostage were giving him cruel looks and Xekim rolled his eyes. The elevator stopped after what seemed like an eternity and he was pushed out violently.
"Thanks for the hospitality!" Xekim said angrily to the frogs as the elevator closed. Xekim got up from the now marble flooring of the very tacky rooms he was now in. He looked around and noticed two very ugly door knobs. He ignored them and went to open the door when the door knob spoke.
"Doesn't anyone bother to knock anymore. " Xekim saw the door open on it's own and Xekim began to walk through it. He followed his instinct and walked through a network of different hallways until he found a cozy room, with a strange looking old lady inside. She was looking at him with a sly dislike.
"I'm Yubaba, and I run the baths. What is it you want."
"i want to get out of the spirit world."
"That's not likely to happen." Yubaba said in an amused way.
"I will get out of here." Xekim said taking out a keyblade. Yubaba flicked one finger and Xekim flew backwards against the wall. He struggled and then gave up. All he could do was give Yubaba a dirty look and wait to see what she did. Yubaba looked at him and smiled. She sat back in her chair and then said
"Well, I'm wondering what i should turn you into, Ah, I know." Yubaba was about to turn Xekim into some animal when Yubaba looked at a little jewel on her desk. He could faintly see the shape of Chihiro in it, she was at the front door of Yubaba's room. Xekim felt her grip weaken and he ran and jumped out the window of the bath house. Yubaba looked shocked and then she smiled.
"i'll have to keep an eye on him." She said as Xekim fell. He summoned his two keyblades and tried something new. He focused a best he could and then the keys began to glow. Then Xekim began to glow a dim gray color. Then the keyblades began to spin and he fell slower. He was beginning to slow down and then soon he down on the ground. He was exhausted after that. He decided to lay low for now and would come out when there was a chance to get out of this world.
((Chapter Eight: Haku and the Witch))
Xekim jumped across the roof tops and found Chihiro curled up in a ball from the shock and strangeness of this new world. Xekim was about to go down and help her, when the boy he'd seen before came to her side and began to help her. Xekim listened to him explain who he was and give her some food. He smiled and then looked around at his surroundings. The bath house he saw earlier was the center of everything and it made him think it was where all the spirits were going. He turned around just in time to see Haku and Chihiro running away, and fast. Then he saw a bird staring at him. It was odd, it had a human face and it looked like it had hair pinned up in a bun. Xekim stared back at it in interest, and then alarm. The bird then flew away towards the bath house top floor. Xekim jumped and ran after it. He tripped on a loose tile on the roof of a house and then lost the bird.
Xekim cursed and then ran to the bath house. He landed on the ground in front of the bridge he saw before. A few spirits looked in his direction and walked away hastily. A frog-like person came up to him with a lamp.
"you smell like a human! Huma....." Xekim didn't give him the change to finish, he elbowed him in the ribs, just hard enough to take the breath out of him and Xekim ran. He ran past the bridge and then through a hidden door. He closed it and then heard a sigh behind him. He turned around and saw Chihiro and Haku talking. Xekim was hoping he would be seen, but he had a feeling that he was safe with these people. Haku stood up and then said
"Who are you!"
"I'm Xekim, I crossed the river and got lost here, same as her." Xekim said pointing at Chihiro who wasn't looking as scared anymore. Haku nodded and Chihiro walked trough a door leading down to a steep stair case. Xekim got seized from behind by about three spirits. He wanted to hit them and get them off his back, but he then he thought. maybe they'll take me to the person who runs this place. Haku's eyes widened but he smiled when Xekim winked at him. He was walked to a large elevator and then Haku was out of sight. The frog-like spirits who were holding him hostage were giving him cruel looks and Xekim rolled his eyes. The elevator stopped after what seemed like an eternity and he was pushed out violently.
"Thanks for the hospitality!" Xekim said angrily to the frogs as the elevator closed. Xekim got up from the now marble flooring of the very tacky rooms he was now in. He looked around and noticed two very ugly door knobs. He ignored them and went to open the door when the door knob spoke.
"Doesn't anyone bother to knock anymore. " Xekim saw the door open on it's own and Xekim began to walk through it. He followed his instinct and walked through a network of different hallways until he found a cozy room, with a strange looking old lady inside. She was looking at him with a sly dislike.
"I'm Yubaba, and I run the baths. What is it you want."
"i want to get out of the spirit world."
"That's not likely to happen." Yubaba said in an amused way.
"I will get out of here." Xekim said taking out a keyblade. Yubaba flicked one finger and Xekim flew backwards against the wall. He struggled and then gave up. All he could do was give Yubaba a dirty look and wait to see what she did. Yubaba looked at him and smiled. She sat back in her chair and then said
"Well, I'm wondering what i should turn you into, Ah, I know." Yubaba was about to turn Xekim into some animal when Yubaba looked at a little jewel on her desk. He could faintly see the shape of Chihiro in it, she was at the front door of Yubaba's room. Xekim felt her grip weaken and he ran and jumped out the window of the bath house. Yubaba looked shocked and then she smiled.
"i'll have to keep an eye on him." She said as Xekim fell. He summoned his two keyblades and tried something new. He focused a best he could and then the keys began to glow. Then Xekim began to glow a dim gray color. Then the keyblades began to spin and he fell slower. He was beginning to slow down and then soon he down on the ground. He was exhausted after that. He decided to lay low for now and would come out when there was a chance to get out of this world.
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