Fanfiction ► The Beging of Nothing: The Creation of Organization XIII

[Sephy-kun]

Chapter One: The Discovery

Xehanort was sitting in the lab. He was taking notes on his expiriments. "Let's see," Xehanort said. "If the darkness is the key to making Heartless, then-" But he was cut off. His youngest assistant, Ienzo, came into the room. "Master Xehanort," he said. "We have found something!"

When Xehanort and Ienzo reached the lab, several other people were there. "Braig, Dilan, Even, Elaeus," Xehanort said. "Ienzo tells me you found something. What is it?" Even stepped forward. "Master Xehanort," he said. "We have discovered how to make an artificial Heartless."

(Sorry that it's kind of short, but tell me what you think!)

 

[scubasteve]

It's too short for me to give an actual critique..but please continue. And I hope you realize you mispelled "beginning" in the thread title.

 

[sora's_guardian]

I didn't really understand it Sephy.........ow well your on a good start........try a little more make some funny things ppl like that.......I'm making one sooner or later and its gonna be a comdey one for a kh2 BigBrother and It'll be up soon well your first chp. was good but put your mind into it next time!

 

[Sephy-kun]

ok, heres my points:

A. I can't spell sometimes when I'm drowzy
and
B. I don't write fan fics a whole lot, so some of them are kinda crappy

 

[sora's_guardian]

ok i get it!.............................(25 thingy I hatez it!!)

 

[Sephy-kun]

yah, I think this one sucks, so I might close it

 

[sora's_guardian]

ok Sephy.........................(25 thingy me hatez it!!)

 

[Sephy-kun]

yeh. it raly did suck, oh well, bye thread!