Fanfiction ► Shiro: The Blaze Prologue

[KyraeThePaladin]

Prologue
20 years after Kingdom Hearts II....

Kyrae was walking dow a narrow road, thinking, and waiting for a young boy to apear.
"You have been following me, Sairexx."
The boy named Sairexx drew his weapon, a scarlet rod.
"That weapon, it is called scarlet killer, is it not?" said Kyrae
"So what, Ky sama?"
Kyrae drew his weapon, a rapier, no special glow, or defining colors.
Sairexx laughed.
"There is nothig funny about a Paladin's Sword!!"
"Oh really?" scoffed Sairexx
"Foolish Sairexx!"
They fought harshly for many hours, until Sairexx dropped his guard.
Kyrae struck down Sairexx. No hesitations....
Kyrae walked on, for he knew, that Shiro, the rapier of Light, can kill any mortal man, and Sairexx is no godlike being. Kyrae stopped, turned, and everything went black....

Thus begins the BLAZE

 

[Lectori Salutem]

This could get interesting, so I'd like to see some more.
I can't say much about such a short prologue, but you could be a bit more describtive. We hardly know anything about the characters now.

 

[KyraeThePaladin]

Characters:
Kyrae The Protagonist
_____

age: 18
Weapon: Keyblade (it was destroyed) Rapier (Paladin Edge)
Family: Sora (not the kh main char)- father Kikiru- mother
Place in kingdom hearts I+II: His Great Grandfather was Sora

Sairexx The Idiot Stalker
_____

age: 14
weapon: Rod (Scarlet Killer)
Family: Saix- father Jiristais- mother (sairexx is orphaned though)
Place in khI+II- None Whatsoever

 

[Lectori Salutem]

If you were waiting for my comment, I'm sorry for the late reply, blame it on my homework!

And that was not what I meant. I mean, the age is nice to know, but not really necessary and you already wrote about the weapons. In a story, we want to know what everything looks like so that we can form an image of it. You said a narrow road, so why was it narrow? Where there trees or houses or what? And what do the characters look like? Their haircolour and their clothes?
My first attempt at fanfiction was kind of like this (but longer^^). I lacked a lot of description. Just keep writing and try to make it better with every chapter!

 

[KyraeThePaladin]

I'M BAAAAAAAAACK!
So, I am working om shiro, so expext more *better* versions of Shiro

 

[Lectori Salutem]

Good luck, then! I´ll be waiting for the outcome.

 

[KyraeThePaladin]

I'm working, What with My Band, and School, and all, I can't work as fast as in the summah!

 

[Lectori Salutem]

Why are you posting your character profiles here? Aren't those for you to decide on your characters? After all, if we (the readers) know all about the characters, a lot of suspense is lost. It's your choice, though...

And it's 'wielder'...