Help/Support ► Relationships. hard to tell interest?

[*~NeoAdamus~*]

I have the same tug of war really.

I started to have feelings for girls during my high school years

all the other years where pretty much lust which i didn't develop till my middle school years

Ive spent most of my life traveling due to my fathers time in the Air Force, and my parents divorce at the early age of 2.

Finally settling in Washington State i had developed feelings for this beautiful Moldovian girl, and not like the hot highschool girl type with all the makeup and crap, I mean the kind of girl worth protecting and marrying. (why is protecting women such an instinct for us guys??)

I've written to her for over a year now but she's very distant and she seems to ignore me up close, but at a distance her friends are weirded out by the fact that she stares at me real hard when im not looking. She always smiles after every note i write to her and she's just.......so.......beautiful that words couldn't describe her. And her personality is so funny, and it makes my heart melt. *Im starting to lose focus*

In the past when i settled in Florida for a while coming back from Japan I was being made fun by a few girls, and my self esteem hit pretty low. 3 years of it and I was honestly scared of even walking past a group of girls. It's been like this even now when girls are telling me i look pretty cute. Ive never dated.

At one time i thought that trying to impress the Moldovian girl was impossible, so there was this other girl who seemed real nice and we hung out allot, but then i bought a necklace for her on Christmas, and she was weirded out. That's how that relationship ended, and for the first time i thought that i had atleast found love. I was really depressed, but even when i attempted to date this girl I still had feelings for the other.

I just didn't know how to talk to her about my feelings directly, but whenever we're near, we share a few stares at eachother or we keep a godd distance away from eachother. We had an English class together and on February we had to sit by eachother, but the moment was so awkward, she switched seat with a friend of hers, and even then she was still staring at me.

By the near end of March i finally had the guts to write one last note before she had a change of schedule and her friends knew about the note right away. Im really good with art and i always draw flowers around them, especially roses seeing as whe liked the color red and that they symbolize love. One of her friends recently told me that I should buy her flowers.

She might turn me down......and i dont really want that but with love comes pain
im willing to accept that pain even if i fear it.

I really need to build the courage to buy her flowers.....but......i dont know

I work at the airport in Washington State, part time cause of school, and everyday i see couple come and go. Old and new, although so often I see bad couples especially the more attractive couples. Their goodbyes are short and not so loving really.

I feel that there's a bridge i haven't crossed
ill be 19 on the 25th, ill make a moment to buy this girls flowers and express my feelings directly, but if she declines.........i dont think a birthday could ever make up for that kind of pain.

 

[Gildragon]

off topic: you work in washington state? I live in spokane washington!


back to topic: wow I can see how you would feel about that girl. That kind of letter relations seems ...true

 

[Raeneth]

If you look too hard, you won't find anything... that's how I see it.

the most cliche advice would be if you like someone, go for it. The worse they can say is no, amirite?

Bleh, at 22, only had *counts on fingers*... three girlfriends also? Maybe >__> I dunno, one of them doesn't really count, and actually a second one that fits into the same category x.x

I spent a lot of my high school time concentrating on one or two girls who honestly I didn't have a chance with since they just didn't like me like that (I know, I asked a few times >__>) and ignoring other girls who actually did like me <_< Of course the girls only tell you AFTER the fact and when they're over it. I know once I was out of college and my friends and I were going our separate ways that I heard the "you don't know how big of a crush I had on you blah blah blah" a few times from different people .-. I don't pick up on things easily though <_<

Love/Like happens when you least expect it from my experience. What you can't do (and I know it's hard not to) is get down on yourself. There's nothing wrong with you if you can't find girls you're not interested in, because waiting to find someone you like is better than sleeping with any girl you feel you can get with. People tend to respect you more if you don't settle for what you can get.

Don't get down on yourself, continue to go out and have fun and be yourself. From what I hear, a guy that seems self confident is rather attractive to the fairer gender. I know it's easy to fall for people who give you attention, I think a lot of guys and girls are like that. Nothing ventured nothing gained <--- more cliche D:

 

[Clone]

I feel for u gil, i know how tuff it gets with girls. I tell u now don't be to sky with girls or ull end up like me lol. i was to shy to talk to any girls so i think its best to try and get to know some girls by talking to the first. If all gos well u'll get confident with them and maybe get what i want in the end.

 

[*~NeoAdamus~*]

@Gildragon

I live in Tacoma, but work at SeaTac Airport which is about a 45 min drive.

@Neo Ragnarok, and Clone

I like this advice you guys gave, even if it was toward Gildragon. It gives me some hope

I really have to build the courage to talk to her......I really do like her