(You dont have to read this part.) So, I just wanna say first of all that this is a story I've been planning on writing for a few months now and finally decided to go ahead with it. Just so you people who are obsessing over Roxas and all the other main characters of the game, I made my main character of the story Tidus. xD He needs some love too. And to all who may find this offensive, my story does have rape content in it, but I made sure I made it as clean as possible, but still obvious enough so you would know what was going on.
Also my latest story was written in script form and I'm not a rookie with real book form, I only really have problems with the commas. I tend to not use them or use them where they're not needed and I would appreciate it if you all would point that out for me because my program doesn't tell me. Just don't be too harsh on me. Also, my chapters aren't so long, but I try my best. If you got any tips, lay it on me. And as far as hurtful critisism, I know its for my own good but I have a short limit on that and I get all the critisism I need from my sister, so keep it at a minimum.
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Introduction
Twilight Town is like any other town you’ve probably heard or read about. Also, you’re not reading this because of some huge miracle or catastrophe that occurred. But then again, miracles can be small, and so can catastrophes. I’ll just let you decide the size of the matter.
Like I first stated, Twilight Town has some of the same components that make up your town; Twilight Town has peaceful surroundings, but at the same time, there is of course, the group of rebellious teenagers who live to disturb the decency. Twilight Towns has friendly people, mysterious people, scarey people, and even a group of snobby citizens. It’s not too bad, though. As long as you find your clique, you’re guaranteed to be just fine.
While there are many important events happening even while most of the town has gone to bed; in my opinion, none could be more important than this small, but fast change that one young boy must endure.
Chapter 1
Over the grassy hills and rocky roads, followed by train tracks leading to stations, and the aged cracked sidewalk there is a busy part of a town called "Sunset". Down the street, across Old Man Seller’s fence, through his yard- if you can escape from his vicious dog, that is- there’s another isle of homes. The fourth house up from the left is the residency of Olette, Pence, and young Tidus Muze, where love is just a slamming of a bedroom door away.
"Mom! I’m old enough to protect myself from a squirrel!"
"Tidus, that’s not the point!" Olette Muze shouted back at her son, throwing her right arm straight up to furthermore express her anger. Tidus didn’t need any body language. He understood how upset she was by the look on her face along with the vein swelling in her forehead. They’d already had this conversation before, but when you answer "whatever" to every statement your mother makes, you can’t expect the topic not to come back up when you’re definitely not in the mood for it.
"There are more dangerous things in the woods besides squirrels, Tidus." Olette tried to lower her tone.
"Oh yeah, like leaves, and grass, and dirt!" Tidus remarked.
"Pence, can you help me?!" Tidus’s mother asked, turning away for a moment to stir the lima beans on the stove.
"What your mother is saying, Tidus-" Trying to add some humor into the situation, Pence grabbed Tidus by the waist and held him uncomfortably tight to his chest, "things can jump out of nowhere and grab you like this and-" Tidus immediately squirmed and recoiled.
"Dad! Stop it, your fat is crushing my bones!"
"Tidus!", Olette yelled, "I’m not telling you again! I don’t want them questioning me about tutoring and private teaching again this year! Sure, the trees may be so fascinating to you, but now your focus needs to be school!" And with that, she stormed off to the master bedroom, with no intentions of hearing Tidus’s voice for at least five minutes. Pence followed quickly behind her, up the stairs directly above the kitchen.
With his mouth wide open in disbelief, Tidus scoffed, throwing down his skateboard. He let himself fall backwards against the refrigerator and stared towards the ceiling, shaking his head. "Tidus, stir the beans!" he heard his mother’s voice say from a distance. Tidus walked towards the simmering pot on the stove. "I hate beans!" he said as if someone were in the room. He grabbed the handle of the pot, and then jerked it back, waving it in the air and whimpering. Without hesitation, he ran his palm under cold tap water. Even more disgusted, he snatched up the wooden spoon from the counter and let it sink into the beans. He glared into the pot, stirring it so fast and carelessly that some beans spilled over the rim and onto the stove. "Beans are gross." Tidus said to himself, changing the pot’s temperature from medium to high. He picked up his skateboard and started towards the front door. "I’m going to skate!", he announced. A deep masculine voice replied "Wear your knee pads and elbow pads, son." Tidus was out the door and down the street in no time.
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I'll post more after a review. Thanks for readin'.
Also my latest story was written in script form and I'm not a rookie with real book form, I only really have problems with the commas. I tend to not use them or use them where they're not needed and I would appreciate it if you all would point that out for me because my program doesn't tell me. Just don't be too harsh on me. Also, my chapters aren't so long, but I try my best. If you got any tips, lay it on me. And as far as hurtful critisism, I know its for my own good but I have a short limit on that and I get all the critisism I need from my sister, so keep it at a minimum.
__________________________________________________
Introduction
Twilight Town is like any other town you’ve probably heard or read about. Also, you’re not reading this because of some huge miracle or catastrophe that occurred. But then again, miracles can be small, and so can catastrophes. I’ll just let you decide the size of the matter.
Like I first stated, Twilight Town has some of the same components that make up your town; Twilight Town has peaceful surroundings, but at the same time, there is of course, the group of rebellious teenagers who live to disturb the decency. Twilight Towns has friendly people, mysterious people, scarey people, and even a group of snobby citizens. It’s not too bad, though. As long as you find your clique, you’re guaranteed to be just fine.
While there are many important events happening even while most of the town has gone to bed; in my opinion, none could be more important than this small, but fast change that one young boy must endure.
Chapter 1
Over the grassy hills and rocky roads, followed by train tracks leading to stations, and the aged cracked sidewalk there is a busy part of a town called "Sunset". Down the street, across Old Man Seller’s fence, through his yard- if you can escape from his vicious dog, that is- there’s another isle of homes. The fourth house up from the left is the residency of Olette, Pence, and young Tidus Muze, where love is just a slamming of a bedroom door away.
"Mom! I’m old enough to protect myself from a squirrel!"
"Tidus, that’s not the point!" Olette Muze shouted back at her son, throwing her right arm straight up to furthermore express her anger. Tidus didn’t need any body language. He understood how upset she was by the look on her face along with the vein swelling in her forehead. They’d already had this conversation before, but when you answer "whatever" to every statement your mother makes, you can’t expect the topic not to come back up when you’re definitely not in the mood for it.
"There are more dangerous things in the woods besides squirrels, Tidus." Olette tried to lower her tone.
"Oh yeah, like leaves, and grass, and dirt!" Tidus remarked.
"Pence, can you help me?!" Tidus’s mother asked, turning away for a moment to stir the lima beans on the stove.
"What your mother is saying, Tidus-" Trying to add some humor into the situation, Pence grabbed Tidus by the waist and held him uncomfortably tight to his chest, "things can jump out of nowhere and grab you like this and-" Tidus immediately squirmed and recoiled.
"Dad! Stop it, your fat is crushing my bones!"
"Tidus!", Olette yelled, "I’m not telling you again! I don’t want them questioning me about tutoring and private teaching again this year! Sure, the trees may be so fascinating to you, but now your focus needs to be school!" And with that, she stormed off to the master bedroom, with no intentions of hearing Tidus’s voice for at least five minutes. Pence followed quickly behind her, up the stairs directly above the kitchen.
With his mouth wide open in disbelief, Tidus scoffed, throwing down his skateboard. He let himself fall backwards against the refrigerator and stared towards the ceiling, shaking his head. "Tidus, stir the beans!" he heard his mother’s voice say from a distance. Tidus walked towards the simmering pot on the stove. "I hate beans!" he said as if someone were in the room. He grabbed the handle of the pot, and then jerked it back, waving it in the air and whimpering. Without hesitation, he ran his palm under cold tap water. Even more disgusted, he snatched up the wooden spoon from the counter and let it sink into the beans. He glared into the pot, stirring it so fast and carelessly that some beans spilled over the rim and onto the stove. "Beans are gross." Tidus said to himself, changing the pot’s temperature from medium to high. He picked up his skateboard and started towards the front door. "I’m going to skate!", he announced. A deep masculine voice replied "Wear your knee pads and elbow pads, son." Tidus was out the door and down the street in no time.
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I'll post more after a review. Thanks for readin'.