Sudden realization of impurity takes over ones body like the shockwave of an explosion. The ability to admit to ones self that they have problems is a problem all its own all wrapped up in side ones mind. It takes time to realize that you can be the source of your own pain. Its not just one thing it’s a bunch of minor insecurities that build up within our hearts. It all hits you like a brick wall. The feeling of total emptiness begins to sink in at this point. This feeling then becomes controlling, and starts holding you back. Attempts to be free fail once they start. The pain becomes to much and you start to shut people out … you slip back and say that you have no problems once again. The cycle repeats itself like a broken record over and over again you relapse in to the haze that controls you in every way possible.
To over ones problems is to over come ones fears. The fears that hold you back, the fears that keep you locked up inside. Weather it be the fear of pain , rejection, or even fears of your past. They haunt you in your dreams. They make you scream don’t they? Your fears make you do the unthinkable. They make you think the unthinkable. Destroying everything that you know about your self. Your fears are yours …you’re the one who makes them and once you let them take you over its almost impossible to escape from there tangled grasp.
To me that’s life. That’s my way of approaching things. Of cores someone who grew up in a sturdy house hold would think different. On that note ill add in that my life is no fairy tail. Its more like a broken one that cant really be fixed. Not many people can understand the life or feelings of what we all call the “Emo kids” I guess . that’s what iv been labeled as for almost 5 years now. There may be others like me but I feel alone all the same. Don’t get me wrong though. Some “Emo” kids may feel differently. But the general idea of most of us is basically the same. And NO ONE I (besides us) can even begin to understand it all.
Being strong is only being able to fake to hide and to lie. To fake a smile when your out with friends. To hide the pain behind that smile. To hide the lies that surround you, and even though your so “strong” breaking down is always the conclusion. A spiraling downfall that defeats your inner will to say alive. Questions run ramped throughout your head. “will the pain ever end?...will the confusion ever fade?...why me?.. why this?... why?...anything.” your screams become as silent as your tears as they start to burn your skin. You become scared…and un responsive to the outside world. Death begins to be your lullaby as you lay awake at night starring at your ceiling. Its starts to hurt more to be alive then it would to parish. Is it possible to lie to yourself when your in this state, no. try as you may you just start to hate yourself more and more.
The infamous counselor. There all the same aren’t they. Always saying that its “going to be ok “. Saying that “its just a phase” and trying to make you talk to them. But what the hell do they know right . most of them haven’t even been threw any of the shit that there clients go threw on a daily basis. If anything they make matter worse
[[ dont be to mean...=)....rep??]]
!
To over ones problems is to over come ones fears. The fears that hold you back, the fears that keep you locked up inside. Weather it be the fear of pain , rejection, or even fears of your past. They haunt you in your dreams. They make you scream don’t they? Your fears make you do the unthinkable. They make you think the unthinkable. Destroying everything that you know about your self. Your fears are yours …you’re the one who makes them and once you let them take you over its almost impossible to escape from there tangled grasp.
To me that’s life. That’s my way of approaching things. Of cores someone who grew up in a sturdy house hold would think different. On that note ill add in that my life is no fairy tail. Its more like a broken one that cant really be fixed. Not many people can understand the life or feelings of what we all call the “Emo kids” I guess . that’s what iv been labeled as for almost 5 years now. There may be others like me but I feel alone all the same. Don’t get me wrong though. Some “Emo” kids may feel differently. But the general idea of most of us is basically the same. And NO ONE I (besides us) can even begin to understand it all.
Being strong is only being able to fake to hide and to lie. To fake a smile when your out with friends. To hide the pain behind that smile. To hide the lies that surround you, and even though your so “strong” breaking down is always the conclusion. A spiraling downfall that defeats your inner will to say alive. Questions run ramped throughout your head. “will the pain ever end?...will the confusion ever fade?...why me?.. why this?... why?...anything.” your screams become as silent as your tears as they start to burn your skin. You become scared…and un responsive to the outside world. Death begins to be your lullaby as you lay awake at night starring at your ceiling. Its starts to hurt more to be alive then it would to parish. Is it possible to lie to yourself when your in this state, no. try as you may you just start to hate yourself more and more.
The infamous counselor. There all the same aren’t they. Always saying that its “going to be ok “. Saying that “its just a phase” and trying to make you talk to them. But what the hell do they know right . most of them haven’t even been threw any of the shit that there clients go threw on a daily basis. If anything they make matter worse
[[ dont be to mean...=)....rep??]]
!