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Cool! Cant wait for more!!!!!!
Fanfiction ► Kingdom Hearts: Another story
- Thread starter TheLastKnight
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Come on more replies, I'm not getting much
its good. couple grammar mistakes, but really good. keep it up!
thx I will start to write chap 6 now.
Good work ShadowKnight47, cant wait for your next chapter.
I'm sorta having writers block today, I couldn't think of a thing!
Don't write anything tonight, get a good night's sleep, and try again tomorrow. If that doesn't work, try waiting a whole day and night. If it still doesn't work, you've probably reached a difficult chapter to write. Do it as best you can and that should cure it.
srry I haven't been able to type it up, my dad's comp is down, plus his internet was running slow for the past couple of days, I will try to get the next chapter written as soon as possible!
Ok, here it is, I MOSTLY used correct grammar
Chapter 6
Radiata Stories
The party comes across an old looking book. “Hey what’s that?” Rocket asks.
“I’m not so sure,” Kharg responds, “Let’s open it and read a few pages, maybe it will have something to tell us about the door. Kharg and Rocket open the book.
“Who is this Jack person they are talking about?” Rocket asked. He points to a strange looking young kid who looks as if he is adventuring with friends.
“ I don’t know,” Kharg replied. “Maybe we should look back.”
They are suddenly pulled into the book! They both looked very surprised and very awkward.
“Hey, what happened?” Rocket asked.
“I haven’t the slightest clue,” Kharg responded.
A boy was running on the bridge with two other friends. He runs without looking where he is going and crashes into Rocket.
“Whoa! What the heck!” Rocket screamed, falling. He gets up off the ground, brushing all the dirt off of himself.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” The boy said, “My name is Jack,” he said, holding out his hand.
“Mine’s Rocket,” Rocket said, shaking his hand. “That is Kharg,” he said, pointing over to Kharg.
“I am Ganz, captain of a new brigade,” a fat man said. He appears to be Jack’s friend.
“I’m Ridley,” a blonde haired girl said. She must also be one of Jack’s friends.
“Have you seen a man or a woman that looks and sounds like they are from an Island?
One has silver long hair, and the woman has kind of pinkish, and reddish hair,” Rocket said curiously, “Or even a King?”
“Nope, sorry,” Jack said. “Hey, but maybe they could be at the Elven village, we are headed there right now, if you want to come.”
“Sure,” Kharg replied.
They came to the Elven village. “Now, we need to ask the leader something now, right?”
Jack asked, wondering if they are where they are supposed to be.
“Right,” Ganz said, “we are supposed to be on the top floor.”
The party sees Zereth talking to a pedestrian.
“Zereth!” Rocket screams, running up to him. The key blade appears in his hands.
“You’re not Zereth, you’re the dark Zereth from the castle.”
“You’re right, I am not.” D. Zereth said in a low and frightening voice.
Rocket runs up and slashes the man with the key blade. The man blocks and blows Rocket back. The rest of the party backs up.
“What do we do?” asked Jack.
“This is his fight,” answered Kharg.
“You’re right,” Ridley and Ganz agreed, “this is his fight…”
Rocket soon runs up, but D. Zereth disappears.
“What happened?” Rocket asked, looking around.
“I don’t want to know,” Jack said, frighteningly
“We’ll find out later, we must do our mission,” Ganz said, walking up the stairs.
After he came down, they walked out, their mission was done, they went to leave.
Suddenly a large red orc lets out a large roar.
“What is that?” Rocket screamed!
“It is a blood orc! Everyone run!” Ganz answered. The blood orc comes close to Ridley, and starts slashing towards her! After a few seconds, the orc hits Ridley.
“No, Ridley!” Jack screamed.
“Hurry, we must run and get out of here.” Ganz said. They run away, and get to the castle.
Upon arrival, Ridley’s father runs worryingly towards the party, he sees them carrying Ridley.
“What happened to my daughter?” Ridley’s father asked.
“She was attacked by Blood Orcs,” Jack answered.
“I should have you fired!” Ridley father screams.
“We are sorry,” Ganz said, “We will go now.”
They party goes outside the castle, leaving Ridley.
“Well, we are going to leave now, goodbye Ganz, and Jack,” Rocket and Kharg said,
“Ridley should be ok.”
“Goodbye, my friends,” Ganz said.
“See ya later then!” Jack said, waving goodbye.
The party leaves the book. They also get in the gummi ship and take off, still looking for their friends.
Chapter 6
Radiata Stories
The party comes across an old looking book. “Hey what’s that?” Rocket asks.
“I’m not so sure,” Kharg responds, “Let’s open it and read a few pages, maybe it will have something to tell us about the door. Kharg and Rocket open the book.
“Who is this Jack person they are talking about?” Rocket asked. He points to a strange looking young kid who looks as if he is adventuring with friends.
“ I don’t know,” Kharg replied. “Maybe we should look back.”
They are suddenly pulled into the book! They both looked very surprised and very awkward.
“Hey, what happened?” Rocket asked.
“I haven’t the slightest clue,” Kharg responded.
A boy was running on the bridge with two other friends. He runs without looking where he is going and crashes into Rocket.
“Whoa! What the heck!” Rocket screamed, falling. He gets up off the ground, brushing all the dirt off of himself.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” The boy said, “My name is Jack,” he said, holding out his hand.
“Mine’s Rocket,” Rocket said, shaking his hand. “That is Kharg,” he said, pointing over to Kharg.
“I am Ganz, captain of a new brigade,” a fat man said. He appears to be Jack’s friend.
“I’m Ridley,” a blonde haired girl said. She must also be one of Jack’s friends.
“Have you seen a man or a woman that looks and sounds like they are from an Island?
One has silver long hair, and the woman has kind of pinkish, and reddish hair,” Rocket said curiously, “Or even a King?”
“Nope, sorry,” Jack said. “Hey, but maybe they could be at the Elven village, we are headed there right now, if you want to come.”
“Sure,” Kharg replied.
They came to the Elven village. “Now, we need to ask the leader something now, right?”
Jack asked, wondering if they are where they are supposed to be.
“Right,” Ganz said, “we are supposed to be on the top floor.”
The party sees Zereth talking to a pedestrian.
“Zereth!” Rocket screams, running up to him. The key blade appears in his hands.
“You’re not Zereth, you’re the dark Zereth from the castle.”
“You’re right, I am not.” D. Zereth said in a low and frightening voice.
Rocket runs up and slashes the man with the key blade. The man blocks and blows Rocket back. The rest of the party backs up.
“What do we do?” asked Jack.
“This is his fight,” answered Kharg.
“You’re right,” Ridley and Ganz agreed, “this is his fight…”
Rocket soon runs up, but D. Zereth disappears.
“What happened?” Rocket asked, looking around.
“I don’t want to know,” Jack said, frighteningly
“We’ll find out later, we must do our mission,” Ganz said, walking up the stairs.
After he came down, they walked out, their mission was done, they went to leave.
Suddenly a large red orc lets out a large roar.
“What is that?” Rocket screamed!
“It is a blood orc! Everyone run!” Ganz answered. The blood orc comes close to Ridley, and starts slashing towards her! After a few seconds, the orc hits Ridley.
“No, Ridley!” Jack screamed.
“Hurry, we must run and get out of here.” Ganz said. They run away, and get to the castle.
Upon arrival, Ridley’s father runs worryingly towards the party, he sees them carrying Ridley.
“What happened to my daughter?” Ridley’s father asked.
“She was attacked by Blood Orcs,” Jack answered.
“I should have you fired!” Ridley father screams.
“We are sorry,” Ganz said, “We will go now.”
They party goes outside the castle, leaving Ridley.
“Well, we are going to leave now, goodbye Ganz, and Jack,” Rocket and Kharg said,
“Ridley should be ok.”
“Goodbye, my friends,” Ganz said.
“See ya later then!” Jack said, waving goodbye.
The party leaves the book. They also get in the gummi ship and take off, still looking for their friends.
great job Shadow! just slow down a little bit i felt that it was rushed. still really good job! cant wait for the next chapter! 
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2007
- Messages
- 522
Nice! Great job man!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thx everyone, I kinda have chap 7 thoughtout, but I lost the paper again, plus I can't use my dad's comp, so I have to type it on my brother's or sneak on my dad's (when no one is home)
I hope my brother has Microsoft word, or atleast wordpad
I hope my brother has Microsoft word, or atleast wordpad
H
HoJo47
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ShadowKnight, great job with all of your chapters. I think he would want more replies though.
awsome fanfic dude. cant wait until your unbanned so i can read more
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2007
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awsome fanfic dude. cant wait until your unbanned so i can read more
Thats not going to happen anytime soon because I think he had joined on another account and they found out that it was him and banned him even longer, but yeah I've been wanting to know what happened next but oh well.
Lets hope the ban wasnt extended, because i want to find out what happens too.
Hi ya all...Sorry about that...I was banned.
I might not have chapter 7 in for atleast a week...I might quit cause it's not very popular...I only have like 4 people reading it.........I'll finish it I guess, but....Don't expect any more from me, unless It'll be a humerous one, which won't suck this time!
I might not have chapter 7 in for atleast a week...I might quit cause it's not very popular...I only have like 4 people reading it.........I'll finish it I guess, but....Don't expect any more from me, unless It'll be a humerous one, which won't suck this time!
Okay, I'm going to write a great finisher tonight! I hope it will be done before 12:00 midnight...
sorry to double post (I warn so many people about that...)
It will be on another thread, because I know this one will die within the 7 or so hours...
sorry to double post (I warn so many people about that...)
It will be on another thread, because I know this one will die within the 7 or so hours...
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