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Fanfiction ► Kindom Hearts: The other side of the story



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Crazy1

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PLEASE TRY TO GET PAST THE HORRENDUS FIRST PARTThis is a fan-fic i made but criticise me please if its bad and if some way its possibly good, then...i dunno but please post and criticise me as bad as possible, i mean this is my first fan-fic.

Prologue

Why me? Why us? Did it have to happen? We were separated, where was he? Our Island, consumed by shadow and everything went black. I woke up in a strange town all too familiar, but foreign at the same time. Now what do I do? This has to be a dream, or, but it feels too real. Where is the happiness I once could resort to when all was lost? Traverse Town, my new home, is where I begin.

She walked out of the alley, her pink hair flowing in the small cool breeze that flowed through Traverse Town. She continued down the road trying to stay focused on her task, to get home and find him. Him, I can’t lose him he’s the only one who ever showed me kindness. She continued to walk her head buzzing with thoughts. She shook her head trying to forget the memories. She eventually turned left and walked into a small house. The house was no bigger than a small classroom with a small bed against the left wall and a quarter filled bookcase on the back wall. The kitchen to her right held a small table for two, three at the most, and held a small vase with a wilting flower. She locked the door behind her and walked to the center of the room, lost in thoughts she began to feel drowsy.

Not all is lost. Don’t give in, to darkness. “I haven’t been getting enough sleep.” She said aloud. Go look for him, the one you seek, you shall chose his fate. “Wtf,” She said chose whose fate? Who is this?” No one responded her cry. Minutes passed and she stood rooted to the center of her room. Eventually the voice returned. Sakura Find him, choose his fate, only one will bring you happiness. Sakura!

Pluto the dog, trotted merrily along, finally getting away from goofy and his stupidity. Pluto reached the entrance to a long alleyway when he heard “Aww man where am I?” Pluto stopped dead in his tracks, he looked down the dark alleyway to see high stacked boxes and barrels. A foot? Wow Goofy’s foot never groaned at me before, then again Goofy is different from the humans here. Pluto trotted along the cold alley, what met his eyes was a young boy with brown spiked hair and big yellow goofy shoes. O my god look at the size of those feet! What are they a size 50? Pluto came close to the boy wondering where he had came from. Suddenly the boy aroused and jumped back in fear of the sudden sighting. Omg its awake. Pluto backed away and ran down the alley turning his head back to make sure he wasn’t being followed. Pluto heard the boy shout for him to come back but Pluto never returned. Sora got up and looked around seeing for the first time where he was. He walked down the alley unaware of what would happen.
 
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sora is the best

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I would give that a 3 out of 5 if u ask me u should make it a little more funnyer and longer but thats just me but overall it was preaty good.
 

Enchanted Rose

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I would give that 2/5- it's not that bad but the first bit in italics is horrendeously cliched. It's your first fanfic so keep writing and I'm sure your style will improve.
 

Crazy1

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Yay! Im getting what i wanted, Criticism. I might as well post some more

Sora continued to walk through Traverse Town, looking for some sign of his friends. He began to wonder if he would ever find them in the small town. Sora looked up at the stars. Sora saw what no one else seemed to. A single, small star began to flicker. Oh cool a dying star. He lowered his head and saw large wooden gates strong enough to hold most bugs in not intruders. Sora walked up to the large door and examined it. Wow whoever made this was probably drunk on 5.0 or something. God I could do better (not really). Sora began to reach his hand out to open the large door. Just then a tall stout guard stepped in front of his hand.

“You shall not enter the second district.” He said in a deep strong voice.

“Why the heck not,” Sora cried out. “Oh I get it your one of those racist people who hates whites.”

“Um, if you didn’t know,” The guard said slowly but loud so everyone could here. “But I’m white too!” He screamed the last part. Everyone looked at Sora and the guard while Sora began to feel nervous, his ears turning red.

“Okay fine,” Sora said angrily. “I’ll get in I WILL get in.”

The guard picked up Sora and threw him down the stairs that led up to the door.
Sora laid there until the guard left, he got up and sat on the steps. He wasn’t sure why but he felt that he needed to get into the second district. Sora stood up and began to sway. Still dizzy from his tumble he began to walk up the stairs leaning from left to right like a drunken man. Sora reached the top of his stairs and shook his head, what could have taken him thirty seconds took him three minutes. He craned his neck around the corner hoping the guard wouldn’t spot his spiky hair. The guard stood there stout with his large silver plate armor, and midnight black curved sword now in his hand, with a mighty shield the size of Sora in his other hand, with the figure of a golden lion symbolized on it. What would get that guard away from that door long enough for me to get in? Hmm…
I know a COOKIE! Nah I’m gonna save that for when I’m trying to get a girlfriend...
Sora thought about this for awhile when if came to him. I’ve got just the thing. Sora pulled out 1000 munny and rolled it on the ground right past the guard. The guard jumped on top of the munny.

“MY MUNNY!” The guard shouted

“Dog pile for the munny!” Someone shouted out from the crowd passing by.

Everyone jumped on the guard and began to fight for the munny. 0.o wtf, I just wanted the guard but half of town is good too. Sora snuck into second district and walked off smiling with is strange success.

He ran across the rooftops of Traverse Town, shaggy brown hair blowing wildly in the wind. A lone butcher no smarter than a dog chased after him. The butcher held a large butchers knife in his left hand obviously want to kill him for stealing the last of his poultry.

“Brian get down here this instant, or else I will kill you!” The butcher screamed at him from the ground below.

“How do I put this in words someone like you can understand,” Brian retorted, making fun of the butcher was always fun to him. “No!”

The butcher cursed under his breath and walked inside the building he was standing upon. Brian sat and began to enjoy the fresh, sweet meat when suddenly the hatch to the top of the roof began to shake. Brian spun around, put the meat back in a bag and took off once more.

He was a safe distance away when the butcher got on the roof so he turned around again this time saying “You finally got the brains to come up here, wow and I thought you would never learn.”

The butcher kept didn't say anything back but swore under his breath, and proceeded towards him. Brian held his ground until the butcher was a few feet away. He dived off the side of the building landing on a smaller rooftop. It did not go as he had planned; Brian slipped and was clinging onto the edge of the roof struggling to hold on. The butcher looked down at the struggling Brian and walked away unwilling to help someone like him. Brian held on for what seemed to be hours but only took three minutes. Brian began to pull himself up when he came eye to eye with a dark shadow. The shadow had yellow eyes and stared at him hungrily. Shocked, Brian lost his grip and fell to the ground below. THUD! Brian landed on his back looking up at the sky. Brian sat up looking around amazed that the fall didn’t kill him. He looked back at the roof to see what happened to the shadow but it had vanished.

“What the heck was that about.” A voice said from behind. Brian jumped around and saw a boy no older than 14 with spiky brown hair and the largest shoes he had ever seen.

“Sorry, but I-“Brian began to apologize but the boy had cut him off.

“Sorry? You nearly killed me!” The boy shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Hey you look fine and I didn’t purposely fall.” Brian began to argue back with the boy.

They shared insults for what seemed ages but the boy never backed down. It was nearing nightfall and getting too dark to see. Brian and the boy continued to fight until POP! Brian and the boy stared at each other for a second and looked over. There was another shadow exactly like the one Brian had just encountered.

“What is that?” Brian questioned as the creature turned its gaze from the boy back to Brian then back to the boy.

Brian’s words were followed by another POP! As more shadows began to materialize.

“I’m not sure and I don’t want to find out.” The boy said hushed as if afraid that the shadow might take that offensively.

Brian looked straight at the shadows and noticed they were only looking at the boy. Then it happened, the shadows lunged forward at the boy. Brian watched horrified at first then amazed, the boy pulled out a giant key and began to hack and slash the shadows, watching them disappear with a single hit with the key. Brian stood amazed until he looked down. Dark shadows were circling his feet he was being pulled down into the dark, the boy was too busy to care, and Brian was lost in the shadows.

Thank you sora is the best and enchanted rose for commenting. I hope this is a bit better.
 

sora is the best

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I liked it i thought it was better than the first one, it was longer and its getting interesting now well any way keep it up i hope you post another chapter.
 

Crazy1

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Okay....I shall post the next part. And thanks sora is the best for posting.


Sakura walked out of her apartment and into the busy streets of Traverse Town. She jogged up the steps that led into the second district. She reached the corner and looked around it. She had heard the stories. The stories that haunted the second district, the stories that put a cloud of gloom one the town, the stories that harmed innocent lives. She saw nothing there but an empty lane. She walked from around the corner and hugged the wall trying to stay invisible to anything that stalked within the district. A snapping sound came from behind her and she flung around pulling a knife out of her pocket, prepared to murder anything that came too close. POP! A shadow had appeared behind Sakura. The shadow dived at Sakura, an inch away.

Brian swirled through a black vortex. He looked around and saw familiar memories fly past him eventually sinking into the dark depths around him. He looked ahead and saw a bright light miles away from where he stood. He tried to walk forward but he was rooted to the spot, unable to move he sighed and looked down watching the memory of the boy fend the shadows off. He looked ahead, the light was closer than he imagined. Soon enough the light engulfed him. Blinded, he took his first step into a new world.

Sora slashed wildly destroying all the shadows in his path. He jumped into the air hacking the last one into nothing. He landed firmly on the ground, putting the keyblade away. He got up and walked down the steps that led to the lower part of the 2nd district. He sat on the bench still reeling over the sudden attack. He stayed there until his heart slowed down and rose. He walked down the lane looking at the empty buildings that lined the street. Then, suddenly a screech broke the dead silence of the district. He spun around and listened. He froze up and saw a young girl with pink hair that flowed through the cool slight breeze. He looked behind her and saw more shadows following her like the tiger on the hunt. Sora groaned and sprinted after her. He jumped up grabbed the top of the low wall that surrounded him. He pulled himself up and dived after the girl. He landed behind her in front of the shadows. Drawing his keyblade he dived at the shadows.
He slashed one in the head splitting it in two. He jumped elegantly destroying all the shadows that came after the girl cutting them into black dust that got lost in the cool breeze. Sora spun around hitting the last three in the head. His keyblade glistened in the faint light of the low hung lanterns of the buildings that lined the sides of traverse town. Sora put his keyblade away and looked back at where the girl was, but she had vanished. Shocked Sora ran over the where she had stood and looked around. No one could be seen in the second district.

Sora looked around again and spotted yet another door. This one was not locked like the second district one. He walked forward and swung the door open with ease. Sora walked into a small square district. In front of him was a low wall with a ramp that ran down to the left. Lights were hung around the district as if for some festival. Is it Christmas already? Sora kept walking and reached the top of the ramp. Just then a scream came from above. Sora looked up and saw two figures falling from the balcony above. The figures smashed into him with an ear splitting crack. Sora got up in pain and looked at the sprawled figures on the floor.
“Who are you?” asked Sora with anger in his voice.
The two figures on the floor didn’t stir. What the? What is that? IS THAT A DOG 0.o?POP! Sora turned around again seeing another shadow. He pulled his keyblade out and was ready to fight. The two strange animals rose, the seemed shocked at the sight of the keyblade, Sora ignored this as more shadows appeared. The two pulled out their weapons, a shield and a staff. He paid no attention to their quiet mutterings and focused on his attacking target. Sora lifted his keyblade and charged into a mob of shadows the strange duck and dog following him.

Brian landed in a small circular room with bizarre shapes and a dark and light pink plaid floor. He rose to his feet at once realizing that everything before wasn’t a dream. He saw a long narrow, curving hallway before him and began to walk down it. He walked down the twisting hall hearing the occasional high pitched laugh that gave him a chill. He eventually reached a door; he opened it and entered a room much like his mothers kitchen. He walked over and noticed a small door that his finger would barely fit through. He looked at the door knob and tried to turn it. The door knob began to shake furiously with his grasp.
“DO YOU MIND?” The doorknob screamed at him as if a death threat.
OMG A TALKING DOORKNOB…………cool.
“Um sorry how do I get out of here?”
“Drink the bottle.” The door said simply
Brian looked over at the table and noticed that a blue and red bottle was sitting there. Brian walked over and grabbed one. He drank a bit and shrunk down to about the doors size. The room seemed like a castle ball room. He stood in the middle of the table looking around for an easy way down. He looked up just in time to realize that a large figure was falling from the ceiling. Brian jumped off the table and onto the cold floor. He rolled and turned around looking at the large girl that would have squashed him like an ant. He watched her get up and look around. Brian ran below the table feeling safer there. He saw her get off the table and to the door just as he had done. He could hear indistinct conversations but was guessing that the door was telling her to drink the bottle. Surely enough the girl walked over and picked up the bottle and drank it. She shrunk down to size and heard a thud on the table.

Brian ran over to the door so that he could get through.
“Okay I’m your size so, let me in!” Brian commanded
There was no response from the door. He looked closer and noticed the door had it’s eyes shut and was snoring peacefully.
“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!”
The girl looked over and smiled at the sight of another human. She jumped off the table and walked over to him.
“Hey, do you know where we are?” She asked.
Brian turned around and jumped back shocked.
“How should I know,” Brian snapped “I wouldn’t live in a place so bizarre.”
“Hey there is no need to be so angry,” She said trying to calm him “I was just curious.” Brian looked at her angry and turned his back pounding on the door. Up above a cat sat and watched them.
“They’ve arrived.”

More criticesem please, if anyone else can spare the time to post
 

Crazy1

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PEOPLE POST!!!
THANK YOU SORA IS THE BEST YOU ROCK!

YAY NO ONE READS THIS!!!!!!!!!! No...wait... that's a bad thing.

If you don't like this chapter it's because i don't know.

Sakura looked up and saw what she thought look like a pink and purple cat disappear into the shadows.
“Hey did you see-“Sakura began looking to where the boy had been. But the boy had vanished nowhere to bee seen. Sakura looked throughout the now large room. Sakura jumped on the large table. There was the boy trying to open the other bottle that obviously enlarges the small. He’s cute when he struggles like that she thought laughing to herself.
“What’s so funny?” The boy inquired.
“Oh nothing,” She replied smiling.
“Who are you anyway?” The boy again questioned
“Sakura, now who are you?” Sakura said still smiling
“Brian” The boy grumbled “What was so funny?
Sakura laughed at the question. Brian, furious, asked the question several times before she answered, sounding angrier each time he asked.
“Nothing was funny okay?” She finally responded
The boy seemed unconvinced as he turned his back to her and marched to the edge of the table. The boy hopped off the table. A loud THUD! Came a few seconds later followed by a groan. Sakura doubled over with laughter. The boy looked back at the table, cursed and sulked over to the sleeping doorknob. This door was cool at first! NOW IT’S A PAIN IN THE- His thoughts were interrupted by a slight popping sound. Brian spun around and saw another black shadow. Much like the one he had encountered earlier. But this one was different; it had a knight helmet on and was taller and lankier unlike the stout chubby one before. The shadow turned around and looked at Sakura still laughing on the table.
“Sakura watch out!” Brian shouted
Sakura stopped laughing and twisted her head around. Staring at her were several shadows all prepared to lunge! Brian sprinted towards the table as Sakura’s ear piercing scream shook the air.

Black clouds of dust flew around the third district as Sora and his companions destroyed the shadows left and right. Sora threw his keyblade at the last shadow watching it disappear into the night. Sora walked over and picked the keyblade up. He looked over at the short duck. There was a long silence.
“I’m Donald.” The duck said trying to force a smile
“And I’m goofy” The dog said bouncing up and down. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Sora.”
WTF this is messed up
“So you’re the keyblade wielder huh?” Goofy said breaking the silence.
“I guess so.” Sora said shrugging
“You’ll have to come with us then.” The duck said pulling Sora
Sora pulled away and stepped back
“What? No way I have to find my friends!” Sora shouted
“We need you to help us find our king!” Donald shouted back
They argued for what seemed forever until finally Donald said “If you come with us we’ll help look for your friends after we find the king. Sora looked unconvinced but nodded his head. Goofy leaned over the Donald and whispered “Are we really gonna help him find his friends?”
“Of course not” Donald whispered back
Sora looked down to the ground frowning. Thoughts of Kairi and Riku flooded his mind. Sora kicked at the ground. Donald looked at Sora. He frowned as well they couldn’t have an upset keyblade master. They need Sora to help.
“Hey Sora no frowning!” Donald said trying to get a small smile out of him.
“Yeah,” Goofy agreed “This ship sails on happy faces.”
Sora kept looking at the ground not moving an inch.
“Happy?” Sora questioned not noticing Donald and Goofy’s nod.
Sora still looked at the ground. Suddenly Sora looked up with a pathetic smile on his face. Just laugh so I can stop, my face is really itchy! (Okay then)
Donald and Goofy broke out in laughter at Sora’s sad attempt. Sora soon started laughing too as the left Traverse Town and into the Gummi Ship.

Brian raced towards the table. He jumped up and clung onto the edge. He pulled himself up and got to his feet. There in the center of the table was Sakura, and in her hand was a giant key. The keyblade was white and blue, beautiful unlike the boy’s. The blade curled at the top and had sapphires engraved alongside the hilt. Sakura held it in wonder entranced by its beauty. The sword had a blue aurora around it that shone like the moonlight on a starless night. Brian gazed at Sakura then to the blade then back at Sakura.
“When did? How did you? What is going on here?” Brian demanded.
“Beats me,” Sakura said surprised “One second I was in danger and the next, with this key in my hand.”
Brian sat by Sakura and gazed at the key.
“Watch this.” Sakura said in a bragging tone.
Sakura walked away and set the keyblade by the bottles.
“Go pick it up.” Sakura motioned towards the key.
Brian stood up and walked over to the keyblade. He picked it up and nothing happened. Sakura frowned and held out her hand. There was a blinding flash of light and the keyblade was back in Sakura’s hand. Brian stepped back blinded by the light. Sakura smiled and there was another flash of light and the key was gone nowhere to be seen. Brian looked at her amazed. There was something different about here. This wasn’t the Sakura he knew a minute ago although he barely knew her. She was confident in a mystical way to him. This thought didn’t occur to him again as he took another step back and plunged off the side of the table.

Cheshire cat sprinted down the hallway of castle oblivion. The moonlight flooded through the tall cathedral like windows that lined each hallway. The cat busted through tall iron doors to reach his destination.
“Axel!” The cat shouted
A tall man emerged from the shadows; he had long spiked red hair and wore a black robe.
“What could you possibly want?” Axel said angrily
“The other keyblade master has arrived in Wonderland.”
Axel smirked at the good news. “She will have no chance now to stop us, no one will. Not even Sora with his two new pathetic friends.” Axel put his hands behind his back and looked out the window.
“Order the heartless to kill the girl.” Axel commanded
“But sir, what of the boy?” Cheshire cat questioned.
“Leave him, kill him I could care less what you did to him.”
Cheshire cat spun around held his tail high and trotted out of Axel’s office. Axel smiled and sunk back into the shadows.
 
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