This is the first fanfic I have written, so I want honest opinions and comments.
Please give it a read and tell me what you think.
Also, let me know if you would like me to write more. I kinda have the ideas for it so if people want it then I can write more.
Here it is:
Chapter 1
One Fateful Day
The day had come. He was stood, a silent watch from one of Destiny Island’s many beaches. The ship, magnificently beautiful but small in size, rolled over the waves and into the docks. To most, it was simply the only contact that Destiny Islands had with anywhere else all year round, the only ship to ever make berth that wasn’t a local fisherman. To the silent onlooker, it was a dreaded sign.
“So… he is here at last.” Riku realised how foolish he must seem, stood speaking to himself. Thankfully, Sora wasn’t around. ‘I’m gonna miss him’ thought Riku. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he thought of what was to come.
He turned on his heel, and ran across the golden sands towards the docks.
******
“Sora, you lazy bum. Wake up!” Kairi sighed. Sora was always slacking off and it seemed today was no exception.
Sora lay asleep on the beach. When he dozed off, the tide was far out. A few inches more and he would have wet feet. ‘Not that he’d notice’ thought Kairi. She decided to try once more to wake him, or else she would let the tide do it for her.
“SORA!!! GET UP!!” Kairi yelled as loud as she could. Sora leapt up, startled. He’d been having that same dream again. It came to him over and over, and had been doing so for little over a year. He knew every detail of that horrific nightmare.
“Kairi, who knew you could yell so loud?” Sora quipped, a huge grin covering his face. Sora laughed when he saw Kairi blush, and he kept laughing until a large blue and white blitzball hit him on the head.
“Sorry Sora!!!” called Tidus. Kairi laughed, but soon stopped. “Oh! Sora, come on! We don’t want to miss the ship!”
Sora yawned widely, trying to annoy Kairi. “Hmph. Fine then.” Kairi ran to the pier and climbed into her boat. Sora started to give chase, hoping that he wouldn’t miss the ship and a chance to see an old friend again.
******
Riku got to the ship just as it pulled into the docks. Panting hard from running, he slowed and tried to catch his breath. He was bent double, nursing the stitch in his side and cursing.
As the gangplank began to extend from the ship, Riku straightened up. He watched as residents and neighbours poured off of the ship after a year long trip away from the islands. Finally, at the back of the crowd, he appeared.
“Riku. Let’s go.” He stood at the top of the gangplank, a mischievous grin on his face. “Come” He extended his hand towards Riku. “Let us go and meet with darkness itself. Are you ready?”
Riku steeled himself for what was to come. “I’m ready.” He climbed up the gangplank and, standing level with the man, walked through the portal of darkness that appeared before him.
Please give it a read and tell me what you think.
Also, let me know if you would like me to write more. I kinda have the ideas for it so if people want it then I can write more.
Here it is:
Chapter 1
One Fateful Day
The day had come. He was stood, a silent watch from one of Destiny Island’s many beaches. The ship, magnificently beautiful but small in size, rolled over the waves and into the docks. To most, it was simply the only contact that Destiny Islands had with anywhere else all year round, the only ship to ever make berth that wasn’t a local fisherman. To the silent onlooker, it was a dreaded sign.
“So… he is here at last.” Riku realised how foolish he must seem, stood speaking to himself. Thankfully, Sora wasn’t around. ‘I’m gonna miss him’ thought Riku. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he thought of what was to come.
He turned on his heel, and ran across the golden sands towards the docks.
******
“Sora, you lazy bum. Wake up!” Kairi sighed. Sora was always slacking off and it seemed today was no exception.
Sora lay asleep on the beach. When he dozed off, the tide was far out. A few inches more and he would have wet feet. ‘Not that he’d notice’ thought Kairi. She decided to try once more to wake him, or else she would let the tide do it for her.
“SORA!!! GET UP!!” Kairi yelled as loud as she could. Sora leapt up, startled. He’d been having that same dream again. It came to him over and over, and had been doing so for little over a year. He knew every detail of that horrific nightmare.
“Kairi, who knew you could yell so loud?” Sora quipped, a huge grin covering his face. Sora laughed when he saw Kairi blush, and he kept laughing until a large blue and white blitzball hit him on the head.
“Sorry Sora!!!” called Tidus. Kairi laughed, but soon stopped. “Oh! Sora, come on! We don’t want to miss the ship!”
Sora yawned widely, trying to annoy Kairi. “Hmph. Fine then.” Kairi ran to the pier and climbed into her boat. Sora started to give chase, hoping that he wouldn’t miss the ship and a chance to see an old friend again.
******
Riku got to the ship just as it pulled into the docks. Panting hard from running, he slowed and tried to catch his breath. He was bent double, nursing the stitch in his side and cursing.
As the gangplank began to extend from the ship, Riku straightened up. He watched as residents and neighbours poured off of the ship after a year long trip away from the islands. Finally, at the back of the crowd, he appeared.
“Riku. Let’s go.” He stood at the top of the gangplank, a mischievous grin on his face. “Come” He extended his hand towards Riku. “Let us go and meet with darkness itself. Are you ready?”
Riku steeled himself for what was to come. “I’m ready.” He climbed up the gangplank and, standing level with the man, walked through the portal of darkness that appeared before him.
