Fanfiction ► i dont really know what to call it...you can give me ideas though

[imtherealnamine]

tell me if you like it...or if you dont but be nice about it please its my first fan fic i know my spelling and grammar are a bit off lol ... ok here it goes (asuming they are not nobodies but their own person)
chapter 1~

king micky decided to pick 12 members for his new court, it was Soras idea he wanted mickey to be safe. Micky picked Soras father, Roxas's father, kairis father, namines father, fuus father, seifers father, hayners father, pences father, olettes father,selphies father,, tidus father, and Rikus father .He chose them because he wanted the 12 children laer in life and he wanted to wait unil they were old enough.
While waitin for the gummi ship to arrive to take the to Disney castle they all widdled their thumbs, cant beleiving that they were leaving their homes, but they were ready to go stay with the Mickey. Before they left namine looked to see roxas half sleeping, she thought it was really cuite. She sorta had a crush on him.


sorry guys my mom is making me get off ill post more tommorow promise

 

[Lycanthrope]

Umm...

This fanfic is not descriptive Not long. Not well- written. Not interesting.

First off, this is a good idea. But, it is only a paragraph. Not enough for a fanic chapter whatsoever. I write 3-5 page chapters normally. There are hardly any adjectives. The punctuation and capitalization are horrendous. You need to draw the reader into the story, which this did not do very well on. You need to build up to where you went with this. Also, there wasn't any dialog, which is like the color in a painting.

If you need any fanfic tips, just ask around. there is also a developing thread on fanfiction tips.

 

[imtherealnamine]

well im just gonna quit it isnt verry good and no one is reading it ..i dont know how to delete threads so its a waste sorry