This is not really a fan fic, but I think this is the best place for it on these forums.
I am a new writer, and I need some advice on how to elaborate, and just make my story thick and interesting. I came up with the story about a year ago, and every now and then I pull it out to work on it. I have always had a fream of being a writer and selling books. Tell me what you think...
Chapter One: A New Truth
It was a dark, dark, wintry night. The dogs on my street were barking at the full moon just behind the layers of cloud. The night it happened, the night I got my gift, I was sitting on my porch awaiting my mother’s return. She had left for the store and was taking longer than usual. My black and white kitten came out of the house and nestled up to me, “They sky is beautiful tonight whiskers.”
“Meow.”
“The stars, the moon, and how do they star up there without falling,” I began to ponder, “There has to be…I mean how could everything align phis-“
“Meow.”
“Your right, I just need to trust.”
“Meow.”
Then whiskers’ ears were twitching, “Must be rain.” You could always rely on my cat, to this point she has been perfect at predicting weather.
“Meow,” Whiskers murmured as she entered the house.
I sat in my drive way looking up at the stars, gazing into space, the wind howling at my side, clapping of thunder from behind the apartments, about two miles away. My father used to teach me how to count how many miles away a storm was, when you saw the bolt of lighting, you began to count. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, you get the point. Everything was calm and peaceful, the smell of rain, the leaves rustling in the wind, the bite of the chill in the air. I began to see a tinny light in the sky, nothing like I had seen before, this light seemed to have a yellowish-blue glow to it. The light grew, my heart began to race, and I feared what this light might bring. I realized that this was going to cause me danger, but by then I had no time to flee. It was a lighting bolt; it hit my arm and sent a serge of electricity through my body, down my spine, and through my feet. I felt numb and dizzy, the pain now slowly filled my body, and my vision began to fade. I guess I had fainted, I don’t remember anything about what had happened from when I blacked out till when I had woken up. There was blood on the pavement, but not a scar to be found on my body. I was shocked and shaken, I had not clue what was going on in my body, and around me. So many questions flooded my head, all of them I only had speculations, no answers. It was raining as if it was Noah’s ark all over again. I began to cry of the fear of death, “What…happened?” I cried, “Why…Where…I …Want…My Mom!” I began to sound like some two-year-old who got lost from his mother in the grocery store; I almost began to pity myself. The rain began to pour harder and harder, as I got angrier and more confused. I then began to calm and think this unlikely situation through, and as I calmed the rain repeated. A familiar knowledge filled my head of my emotions and the rain, like a guide about what had happened and what was going to happen. After a few moments of reciting these new thoughts in my head, I began to forget. One thought from this guide gave me a feeling of enjoyment, “You are Drew, Protector of Water.”
Chapter Two: A Protector
“A Protector…” I thought. The thought left me and I tried to forget what had happened, I was drained to the point that I had forgotten about my mom not being home yet. I was tired from all the moon swings so I walked inside and rested on the sofa. After I got the strength to talk the remote that was lodged in my back, I turned on the T.V. and started flipping the channels.
“Nothing is on at this hour,” I moaned.
After about an hour of television my eyes began to get heavy and I fell to sleep. Thoughts of the lightning bolt and anger filled my head, then the fear of my mother being gone returned and I woke up suddenly. It took a second for my eyes to adjust, but when they did I realized I was in another room, this was not my living room. The smell of flowers lined the room, there was a rug under a table in the corner right next to a restroom. The walls were some kind of stainless steel, like the pots and pans in my kitchen. I was lying on a bed with o comforter that was similar to the one in my room. This place felt like home but it wasn’t. The lights suddenly turned on as a man walked in. He looked about 70 years old and had a white ripped gown on. His snow white beard almost touched the floor and his glasses were thick.
“Drew,” the man said, “Don’t be afraid.”
“W...h...o….are...You?”
“I am Hope, Protector of Hope. Easy to remember,” He chuckled. I pretended to think it was funny. “You didn’t have to laugh; I am not that good jokes.”
“…Where am I? Why am I here? What is going on?”
“Hold on, you are going to be safe, this is your rest portal, or your room. We have had Aqua set up the room to what a teen would like, you do like it right?
“Yeah…”
“You are here because you are destined for this role, the role of a protector, follow me.” The man walked out of the room, I followed, “We are protectors-“
“We?”
“Yes, I am not the only one that is here, there is 19, well 20 including you-“
“Wait! I am a protector? But I can barely remember to feed my cat!”
“Yes, but we have been told that you were meant to have this job, role, responsibility, gift. Anyways, we work to protect what we have been given to protect. For instance, I protect Hope, I work hard to protect hope and I try to keep in every person, without hope you would die.”
“And I have been sent to protect water…Right?”
“Yes, ok were here.” We entered in a room with 18 people all dressed like Hope. Some of the protectors were old, young, and some just middle aged. I was introduced to each or the Protectors. Fira - Protector of Fire, Billy – Protector of Humans, Shiva – Protector of Ice, Yaunti – Protector of Life, and the other 14 protectors. I had many people I had to work with, like Shiva, and Aqua – Protector of the oceans. Many rules were read to me, I had to follow them, or I would be put back to the way I was before. There was a rule not to go into real time. When and Where ever we were, the time was slowed almost to a stop, when you have the world to look after there is a lot of work to do. They also told me I could never see my mom again, the only way I could see her is if I had to protect her. I was enraged that I could never see her again.
“Drew,” Hope focused on me, “You have channel that anger into something constructive, how about training. Aqua, take him some where that is out of the way of the innocent.”
“Yes sir!”
“I have to fight a girl!”
“You have to train with a protector, we are all equal here.” Hope began to correct me, “I don’t know what it was like where you came from but you will have to treat us equally here. Drew, I know you can do this. Just trust is your gift.”
Chapter Three: Training
Aqua chose the spot for us to train and said that we couldn’t leave until I had beaten her at her own game. A little island was deserted off the coast of Mexico, in the Gulf of Mexico.
“Wow, this is weird, I have never heard of this island, Uirland.”
“That is because in your world it doesn’t exist.” Aqua replied.
“Hum, cool.”
“Cool? What does ‘cool’ mean,” Aqua questioned.
”It means well, I guess the protectors are different from my time, they are not up to date with their words.”
“We were all selected from around the planet at different times, there are supposedly only 20 of us but some believe that there is 21, and one is an evil one that will betray the protectors and use the gifts to harm the innocent ones.”
“Who has said this?”
“Not one person, it is in the written prophecies.”
“Who wrote them?”
“The Protector above us wrote them.”
“Well, let’s get started.”
She taught me many things, we started with flying. This process was hard, but it was awesome, I flew over the island and over towns where people seamed to be at a still. The next test was learning the power of water, harnessing it into you hands and blasting the power to a target. This was the hardest skill to learn, water would pour into my hands from the ocean and a glow would flood out of my hands, then I would relax and point my fingers to the target. This would leave a massive blow. I acquired many other skills and battled Aqua many times, but never won. I was floating over the water, staring into Aqua’s eyes, waiting for her first move for me to react. I slowly began to fill ocean water into my hands without Aqua noticing. Before she knew it a fist full of water was shooting toward her. The blast knocked her off balance and she began to fall toward the sea. I flew to save her and caught her just in time. I flew her to the base which was located in an old tower, which to us was a beautiful skyscraper. The protectors were surprised to see I had not only learned the skills I did but beat Aqua one of the strongest protectors. I could hardly talk before I felt that familiar fatigue, and went to my room to heal for the next day. Dreams of my mother and what might have happened that night to her. The thing that bothered me most was the fact that I couldn’t see her again, what she would do. All I had to look forward to was a lifetime of this pain. I had to find a way to see her.
Chapter Four: Troubling News
I awoke a little later and heard a rusting and whispers outside my door. I went to the door to hear what everybody was saying.
“Emergency meeting for all protectors in the dinning hall,” Hope called out to every room except mine. I thought it was important business that I needed to know but I was just in training. So I snuck near to hear the meeting.
“Fate has found some a troubling future for our newest protector. You know how the prophecies talk about 21 protectors; well there are 20 good protectors that have come from the light, but the other one is evil and has learned to harness it. But how can that be possible it you are not trained, right. He is the only one and a half evil heart can learn to control evil. But Drew is a good kid, there is something written about the evil protector being good. He will learn to control evil, but he is not really evil, so it will take over him and he will be trapped inside of it, unknowing of the scam evil pulled on him. We can’t let him know, him knowing may be a great way for him to pursue this evil.” I had to run in and let them know I had heard. But first I had to change into my Protector clothes. After I was done changing I went into the dinning room.
“What are all of you doing in here,” I asked.
“Nothing, we were just talking about your training,” Hope replied. “We wanted to give you the staff of water. It has a drop of purity to keep four from evil and evil from you. It also will boost the power of water.”
“Thanks, hey, I’m going to go out for a walk.” I walked outside and began to fly, it was still night, the same night I had left in the real world, but three days had passed in the protector’s world. I knew I had to see my mom, I missed her so much. Portals were in a few areas, there was one near the store my mom had gone to. The portals had let the protectors enter the real world. I stepped through. Cars zoomed by, and people were walking down the street. I walked down to the bridge that led to my house. Lights were flashing everywhere and an ambulance rushed by. I saw a few cars in a wreck up ahead, and began to run. One of the cars was my mother’s car.
“MOM!”
(c) Chris Burt 2005
Ok, I am not done, but how can I fix what I have writen, and make it more, "Wow, this is a good book" and make it so this is more a book, not just a story?
Also, if any of you reading this can draw, and make really beautiful pictures, I need someone to do the drawings for a web site.
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