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First, work on spacing. B/c of KHI format, all paragraphs must have a whole line between them.
Second, a new paragraph starts when someone else talks.
third, expand what you write. Make sure to put in descriptions of people, don't just say "Axel" Describe him along the lines of "the tall flaming red head with strange green eyes stood at the end of the hallway with his arms crossed over his chest and a sardonic smile gracing his lips." That sounds alot better than "Axel stood at the end of the hallway"
4) don't overload on those, but use them alot to explain what is going on.
5) use similies. (Shrieked instead of said where it is appropiate, etc)
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