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Your favourite quote from ANYWHWERE! (Part III)



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Lancelot

It's the only NEET thing to do.
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(Liek Zomg, is... is that Ryuk dancing with an apple?)

"WTF is mph? is it like, miles per hour?" my friend Shelley lulz
 

Lancelot

It's the only NEET thing to do.
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(lulz, all so close to 1000... again lulz)

"Shave that shit off and buy me a beer"

idiot school friends
 
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Time for a bombardment of Red Dwarf!

Rimmer: [Discussing his last exam] Lister, last time, I only failed by the narrowest of narrow margins.
Lister: You what? You went in there, wrote "I AM A FISH" four hundred times, did a funny little dance and fainted!
Rimmer: That's a total lie.
Lister: No it's not. Peterson told me.
Rimmer: "No it's not. Peterson told me." Lister, if you must know, I submitted a discourse on porous circuitry that was too...[searches for words]...radical, too unconventional, too mold-breaking for the examiners to accept.
Lister: Yeah. You said you were a fish!
_______________

Lister: Where is everybody, Hol?
Holly: They're dead, Dave.
Lister: Who is?
Holly: Everybody, Dave.
Lister: What, Captain Hollister?
Holly: Everybody's dead, Dave.
Lister: What, Todhunter?
Holly: Everybody's dead, Dave.
Lister: What, Selby?
Holly: They're all dead. Everybody's dead, Dave.
Lister: Petersen isn't, is he?
Holly: Everybody is dead, Dave.
Lister: Not Chen?
Holly: Gordon Bennett! Yes! Chen, everybody. Everybody's dead, Dave.
Lister: Rimmer?
Holly: He's dead, Dave. Everybody's dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!
Lister: Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?
Holly: [Beat] I should've never let him out in the first place...
______________

Rimmer: [doing his morning jog] Morning, Lister! How's life in hippie heaven, you pregnant baboon bellied space cookie? What's the plan for the day then? Slobbing in the morning, followed by slobbing in the afternoon, then a bit of a snooze before the main evening's slob? God, you're a disgrace to the species. [Runs off tooting]
Lister: G'morning Rimmer
_______________

Rimmer: What's this? Learning drugs? They're illegal, matey! I'm afraid you're in very serious, grave, deep trouble, Lister. Where did you get them? I want names, I want places, I want dates.
Lister: Arnold Rimmer, his locker, this morning.
_______________

Rimmer: (after seeing fish falling through the ceiling and the mayor of Warsaw spontaneously combust) It really is gonna be one of those days.
______________

Lister: What have you done with Paranoia?
Confidence: I killed him, cha, cha, cha
Lister: What do you mean you killed him, cha, cha, cha?
Confidence: Don't worry! He didn't suffer. I just fed him into the waste grinder and flushed his mince into space [waves into the distance].
______________

[Clanking sound is heard]
Rimmer #2: HIT THE WALL, GO ON, HIT THE WALL! YEAH! YEAH! WILL YOU SHUT UP RIMMER, SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!
Rimmer: (To Lister) Obviously, we have professional disagreements. But, I mean, nothing with any side to it. Nothing malicious.
Rimmer #2: (Shouting through the wall) SHUT UP, YA DEAD GIT!
Rimmer: (Getting up) Excuse me a second, Lister, will you?
[He walks calmly to the door.]
Rimmer: STOP YOUR FOUL WHINING, YOU FILTHY PIECE OF DISTENDED RECTUM!!!

______________

Lister: Oh god, aliens? Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn't it? You lose your keys, it's aliens. A picture falls off the wall, it's aliens. That time we used up a whole bog roll in a day, you thought that was aliens as well.
Rimmer: Well we didn't use it all, Lister. Who did?
Lister: Rimmer, aliens used our bog roll?
Rimmer: Lister, just because they're aliens doesn't mean they don't have to visit the little boy's room, although they probably do something weird, and alienesque, like it comes out of the top of their heads or something.
Lister: Well, I wouldn't want to sit behind one in the cinema!
________________

aaaaand thats it for now!
 
Joined
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Flowers: Santa, I've been killing just for fun.
Santa: I know. That's why I've got.... I've got a bullet in my gun.
Flowers: A bullet in your what?

-The Killers.
 

Ordeith

Great Old One
Joined
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"Who now dares to stand against the armies of Sauron and Christopher Lee!?" - Myself, imitating Saruman as portrayed by Christopher Lee
 

paoupu girl

All this violence makes a statement
Joined
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Originally Posted by Endless Reason
Yeah, blood and shooting and some dude dieing is totally G rated... I think they should but that on after Bananas in Pajamas, give the little kiddes a nice big serving of.. THE TRUTH OF LIFE!!!!!!!!

my new favorite quote ever
 
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paoupu girl

All this violence makes a statement
Joined
Jun 5, 2008
Messages
1,699
"See, you'll be sitting around watching tv and eating your ice cream while Mom is at work, staring at the walls and watching paint dry" Me, to my father ^_^
 

Orion

Prepared To Die
Joined
Sep 17, 2007
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See sig, and:

"Any sufficiently advanced techology is indistinguishable from magic"
Arthur C. Clarke's 3rd Law
 

Twilight_Path

New member
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
614
Location
Dewford Town
I've got two...
----------------------------------
Dib: You can't make me look! I'll just shut my eyes.
Zim: Oh, you'll open them. You have to breathe sometime.
Dib: No, I - Wait... What do eyes have to do with breathing?

Lol. Ah gotta love that invader zim! :D
Here's the other one...

"Unfortunately for you, life's not rated 'E'!"
- that was me after my little bro got so annonying i felt like punching him, but instead of doing that I threatened to torture him and I said this to let him know that I could make his torture session as gory as I wanted.... MUAHAHAHAHA!
disclaimer: no brothers were harmed in the speaking of these words... XD
 

Szayel Aporro

didn't i leave
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"TAKE YOUR TOP OFF!!!!!!!!"~Me, to a guy in a bikini top and a skirt.

"Of course the celing changes colors, stupid. The celing's made of ****in glass!"~Me.

"KAMEKAME HAAA!!!!!!!!"~Me, slamming a book on a desk.

"I drank a lava lamp..."~Brick, Anchorman.

"I just called my character, based off of ME a whore!"~Me, MSN conversation.
"Yeah but this is ME, we're talking about! I'm so innocent!"~Me, MSN conversation.

"I'm just dyyyiiing not to hurt you." Me, for something. XD

"Oh my god.... they're flashing us! Those skirts are so short! They're flashing!!!!! Argh! Thighs, so... huge! Getting flashed!" Me, pep rally, cheerleaders with waaay short skirts.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!?!!" Me, talking about our highschool mascot. I really don't know what it is. XD

"Old godzilla was hopping around, tokyo city like a big playground."~Lemon Demon

XD
 

paoupu girl

All this violence makes a statement
Joined
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Messages
1,699
"It looks like Andy Warhol went to hell and took his paintbrush with him" Mike Rowe, Dirty Jobs
 

Hinamizawa Syndrome

Sheer perfection.
Joined
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Kitsune-Prophet: All artists are good by default. (It's just that some artists take that goodness and stretch it to true amazingness...)
Criz: Even the ones that write the erotic Star Trek fan-fics, where they change all the characters to animals and then have an author insertion fantasy persona who gets it on with Kirk?
Me: Lolwhut? When did this happen?!?! XD
 
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