Yay for depression!



REGISTER TO REMOVE ADS

Takushi Rena

TICK TOCK, KID!
Joined
May 12, 2004
Messages
7,089
Age
11
Website
flynnlives.tumblr.com
  • Retired Staff
  • Disney Royalty
  • Writer of Writers
  • Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy
  • Kingdom Hearts χ[chi]
  • Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 ReMIX
When I was working at Disney (yay for the college program!) and my program was about to end, I became depressed for the last month or so. On top of not wanting to leave, all of the problems that I had during my program balled up into one big blob and affected me, even though most of them were long over and didn't need to be dwelled on anymore.

I have anxiety problems, which went away at last when my program started, and those came back when I became depressed. I'm back home now and I've been miserable. I can't drive, I can't go anywhere, I can't do anything but stay home because of my anxiety and because of some restrictions. I do hobbies 'n stuff, so I can still reach my goals, but I still have panic attacks that keep me away from the things I enjoy and it's making me more and more miserable.

I also noticed that I changed a lot after my program -- I started swearing a lot, started talking about sex and alcohol and other icky things, and I became extremely pessimistic. I act very angry now, too (I act mean towards the people I'm close to yaaaaay), and I honestly hate how much I've changed. Everyone knows me as a very innocent, cutesy, positive person, and I'm the complete opposite now. I dwell on lots of negative things, I dwell on the bad things in the past, and it seems like this is all because of depression. I'm sick of acting like this.

What can I do to break out of all of this? I'm seriously miserable and I'm so lost.

tl;dr i hate anxiety and depression can felix fix it :C THANK YEW AND HAVE A MAGICAL DAYYYY c:
 

Wehrmacht

cameo lover
Joined
May 17, 2007
Messages
14,057
Location
brland
  • Master of Monologues
  • Retired Staff
  • In the Grid
I also noticed that I changed a lot after my program -- I started swearing a lot, started talking about sex and alcohol and other icky things,
These aren't necessarily bad things in excess. It is common for most young adults to be vulgar in some way or another (some more than others), and it's not really thing a bad thing in and of itself (everything you say or do has its time and place, etc).

And I became extremely pessimistic. I act very angry now, too (I act mean towards the people I'm close to yaaaaay),
I dwell on lots of negative things, I dwell on the bad things in the past, and it seems like this is all because of depression. I'm sick of acting like this.
These are pretty bad though, and I'm pretty sure that it's this more than swearing or talking about "non-innocent" things that's hurting your relationships with people. If you can surpass that and become a more positive, less and anxious, and more fun to be around person, everything else will fix itself.

"How do I become less depressed" is a question that doesn't really have an immediate answer in your case because you weren't very specific. First you have to ask yourself why you're even anxious/depressed in the first place and you can start treating the problem from there. Maybe if you were a bit more specific we could give you better advice?
 

Nayru's Love

Why don't you play in Hell?
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
4,220
Age
25
Location
Chicago, IL
  • The Foreteller
  • Kingdom Hearts HD 2.5 ReMIX
  • Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 ReMIX
  • Keyblade Master
  • Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance
While this may not be the best time to ask, you ever met a girl named Caitlyn? When I read Disney Program and vulgarity (and you being a KH fan/internet person), I thought that name might ring a bell.

I have anxiety problems, which went away at last when my program started, and those came back when I became depressed. I'm back home now and I've been miserable. I can't drive, I can't go anywhere, I can't do anything but stay home because of my anxiety and because of some restrictions. I do hobbies 'n stuff, so I can still reach my goals, but I still have panic attacks that keep me away from the things I enjoy and it's making me more and more miserable.

I also noticed that I changed a lot after my program -- I started swearing a lot, started talking about sex and alcohol and other icky things, and I became extremely pessimistic. I act very angry now, too (I act mean towards the people I'm close to yaaaaay), and I honestly hate how much I've changed. Everyone knows me as a very innocent, cutesy, positive person, and I'm the complete opposite now. I dwell on lots of negative things, I dwell on the bad things in the past, and it seems like this is all because of depression. I'm sick of acting like this.
Was it the friends you made during the program that made you reluctant to leave? Usually, socializing's my first answer for everything. Keeps you distracted, gives you people you can vent out to, etc.

Also, the "vulgar" side of you (or change in yourself that you don't like) might not be something you have to hate about yourself. Maybe you need to find people you can relate to and talk comfortably with.
 

Professor Ven

The Tin Man
Joined
Jun 12, 2006
Messages
4,337
Age
26
Location
Slothia
  • Kingdom Hearts χ[chi]
  • 2013 Roleplaying Awards
  • Alter Ego
When I was working at Disney (yay for the college program!) and my program was about to end, I became depressed for the last month or so. On top of not wanting to leave, all of the problems that I had during my program balled up into one big blob and affected me, even though most of them were long over and didn't need to be dwelled on anymore.

I have anxiety problems, which went away at last when my program started, and those came back when I became depressed. I'm back home now and I've been miserable. I can't drive, I can't go anywhere, I can't do anything but stay home because of my anxiety and because of some restrictions. I do hobbies 'n stuff, so I can still reach my goals, but I still have panic attacks that keep me away from the things I enjoy and it's making me more and more miserable.

I also noticed that I changed a lot after my program -- I started swearing a lot, started talking about sex and alcohol and other icky things, and I became extremely pessimistic. I act very angry now, too (I act mean towards the people I'm close to yaaaaay), and I honestly hate how much I've changed. Everyone knows me as a very innocent, cutesy, positive person, and I'm the complete opposite now. I dwell on lots of negative things, I dwell on the bad things in the past, and it seems like this is all because of depression. I'm sick of acting like this.

What can I do to break out of all of this? I'm seriously miserable and I'm so lost.

tl;dr i hate anxiety and depression can felix fix it :C THANK YEW AND HAVE A MAGICAL DAYYYY c:

Get out piece of paper and write down all the things that you hate, are depressed about, etc. On other page, write down all the things you like and love and squishy omnonms. Then get out other sheet and write down all the things you want to do.

Read everything out; laugh/cry/yell/scream if you have to. Don't hold yourself back in expressing whatever emotion you might have.

Break your normal routine - do something out of the ordinary (while I understand what you said above, still attempt this)! Go somewhere spontaneously, or eat at some restaurant (that looks decent and not rundown).

Swearing and etc is normal, welcome to having your cutesy innocence shattered 8D


To be honest this is something more or less you have to wiggle yourself around and out of, but you has mien Skype if ever want to talk (because you will continue to wallow if alone - typically if you just talk to people about just whatever there is usually improvement) :3
 

Takushi Rena

TICK TOCK, KID!
Joined
May 12, 2004
Messages
7,089
Age
11
Website
flynnlives.tumblr.com
  • Retired Staff
  • Disney Royalty
  • Writer of Writers
  • Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy
  • Kingdom Hearts χ[chi]
  • Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 ReMIX
adshfioasdhfaios thank yew very much! ;w; let's see~

These aren't necessarily bad things in excess. It is common for most young adults to be vulgar in some way or another (some more than others), and it's not really thing a bad thing in and of itself (everything you say or do has its time and place, etc).
That's good to know, though it just feels bad for me to say all of that stuff :c It doesn't feel right, I guess? Maybe because I'm doing it in excess...

These are pretty bad though, and I'm pretty sure that it's this more than swearing or talking about "non-innocent" things that's hurting your relationships with people. If you can surpass that and become a more positive, less and anxious, and more fun to be around person, everything else will fix itself.

Then that makes a lot more sense xD Now that I think about it, I was pretty negative during the last bit of my program and it probably was very off-putting for my friends.

"How do I become less depressed" is a question that doesn't really have an immediate answer in your case because you weren't very specific. First you have to ask yourself why you're even anxious/depressed in the first place and you can start treating the problem from there. Maybe if you were a bit more specific we could give you better advice?
I can try to be more specific! ;w; Let's see... I think the main reasons behind my depression is what's happening at home between my mom and I -- she's stressed out from work, school, having to drive a lot and not having much time for school work. She's kind of taking her stress out on me -- she keeps yelling at me for "doing nothing" all day, for not driving, for not working, when I've taken most of the housework for her so she doesn't have to do it. She keeps getting sick, too, and I feel helpless to help her, since she won't take care of herself. I'm also trying to transfer to a new college and, when I told her where I wanted to go, she wouldn't let me choose my school. Now I'm applying to a school that she wants me to go to, not one that I believe will help me out in the future. Some things with my friend/ex may also have something to do with the depression, and missing Disney and my friends is probably not helping things either xD

These are probably the reasons behind my anxiety, too, but my anxiety seems to be caused more by random fears and phobias than anything. If this stuff is the cause of my anxiety as well, then it makes lots of sense :c

While this may not be the best time to ask, you ever met a girl named Caitlyn? When I read Disney Program and vulgarity (and you being a KH fan/internet person), I thought that name might ring a bell.

Not that I can think of xD; I'm sorries! ;~; I only really knew people at my work location, but was she at Disney during this fall?

Was it the friends you made during the program that made you reluctant to leave? Usually, socializing's my first answer for everything. Keeps you distracted, gives you people you can vent out to, etc.

Also, the "vulgar" side of you (or change in yourself that you don't like) might not be something you have to hate about yourself. Maybe you need to find people you can relate to and talk comfortably with.

It may have been more of the parks than my friends, unfortunately. Disney World is like a second home to me and I get really upset every time I leave on vacation. (That being said, I did get really upset when I was saying bye to one of my friends on the last day >.>;)

I haven't been really talking to anyone lately, not even my close friends, so that might make things a bit better? ;w;

With the vulgarness, it just doesn't feel right to me, I guess. But I'm really close to my mom, so I could maybe talk to her about it. She would understand, me thinks xD

Get out piece of paper and write down all the things that you hate, are depressed about, etc. On other page, write down all the things you like and love and squishy omnonms. Then get out other sheet and write down all the things you want to do.

Read everything out; laugh/cry/yell/scream if you have to. Don't hold yourself back in expressing whatever emotion you might have.


Break your normal routine - do something out of the ordinary (while I understand what you said above, still attempt this)! Go somewhere spontaneously, or eat at some restaurant (that looks decent and not rundown).

Swearing and etc is normal, welcome to having your cutesy innocence shattered 8D
NOOOOOO MY INNOCENCE IS DEAD NOW?! ;~; WHYYYY *SOB*

......dude. you are a freakin' genius ;A; When I write stuff down, it seems to help me out a lot, so I shall try that! Thank yew! c: And I'm breaking out of my routine, too. It's boring >__> ewwww routines.

To be honest this is something more or less you have to wiggle yourself around and out of, but you has mien Skype if ever want to talk (because you will continue to wallow if alone - typically if you just talk to people about just whatever there is usually improvement) :3

*hugs* Thank yewwww ;w; If I need anything, I'll message ya c: That, or we could just be silly instead lulz xD
 

Monkey

dick to a lot of people
Joined
Dec 15, 2004
Messages
9,188
Website
twitter.com
  • Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn
  • Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 ReMIX
  • Retired Staff
  • Rising Star
  • Master of Monologues
  • News Hound
really necropbumping here but i know phoenix also did the disney program. I think you should talk to him since I'm sure the two of you could have some similar experiences, i know the program also had big implications on his life too. ill link him to this thread.
 

Solar

◂◂
Joined
Jan 30, 2009
Messages
8,382
Website
www.youtube.com
  • Retired Staff
  • Academy Awards 2013
Also, and I'm astounded no one has mentioned this unless it's a given--but are you seeking medical help for your anxiety? As someone who has dealt with clinical depression and anxiety, seeking care has been the best thing for me; it doesn't work successfully for everyone but made my issues almost disappear 99%. And if you are already being treated for anxiety, I'd suggest talking to your therapist and psychiatrist (I'm not sure about the procedure for mental health in the US) whether you have depression or not and getting treatment for it as well (including medicine--while therapy helped, the drugs were what made my life easier).

However, given the lack of public health-care in your country, I can understand if this option is an expensive one.
 

Victor

into the night for once
Joined
Feb 24, 2007
Messages
9,809
Age
8
Location
July 29, 1958
  • Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn
  • Final Fantasy VII PC
  • Tomb Raider
  • Retired Staff
  • In the Grid
it's okay rena i think you are a good person who is like 100 times better than paolo/sharjeel so :D
 
Top