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Fanfiction ► Without The Heartless (AGAIN)



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Dark_Keyblade

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Aug 29, 2005
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Drooling over Myra's sweet bod
Hahahaha! I can't believe hes not depressed all the time! No sperm, LOL, that will make any guy feel less manly! Great chap gabe. Something tells me akira is going to help sora somehow...shes helped everyone else...right? right!?
 
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Ultima665

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Sep 13, 2005
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263
KingGabriel_VXI said:
Im posting to see how many fans I lost. If youre here, please say so.
Click to expand...
dude... im a little late buy today i just realized......


"OMGI JUST REMEBERD GABE CAME BACK IN JANUARY!!!!!!!

so give me some time to read the new chappies.......
 
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darkriku14

beginning and end
Joined
Jun 22, 2005
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i thought i would miss two chapters. only one, oh well.

poor Sora, he's got no sperm.

post the next chapter soon @__@
 
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Ultima665

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Sep 13, 2005
Messages
263
hey this may be off topic but........what happend to pirate????? last i heard he was healing his tail feathers in soras house.............so is he coming back???????? he was one of my favorite charecters..........
 
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Deleted member 13596

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hey you guys umm gabriel told me to tell you guys youre gonna have to wait for more of the fic so yeah...ttyl
 
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KingGabriel_VXI

Just Surviving
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Mar 6, 2004
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Around.
hilary duff said:
hey you guys umm gabriel told me to tell you guys youre gonna have to wait for more of the fic so yeah...ttyl
Click to expand...

Thanks lollipop..


Come on Gabe, still no chapter? I was really expecting one in the morning cause I always wake up and lover to read a new chap, but still no new chap since then....
Click to expand...

stress-
(noun) 1 : constraining force or influence: as; a : a force exerted when one body or body part presses on, pulls on, pushes against, or tends to compress or twist another body or body part; especially : the intensity of this mutual force commonly expressed in pounds per square inch; b : the deformation caused in a body by such a force; c : a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation;
Click to expand...

Please dont do that. >.< Im really pissed off now cause my parents are splitting. And right now its hard for me to say anything nice right now. Infact, I dont know how long you guys are going to have to wait on a chapter! I dont even know if Im gonna have access to a computer to where ever mah mom is dragging me away now. Sooo in a nice version...Dont.F***.With.Me.Right.Now. Here's your oh-so-desired chapter.



Doc: …Oh, my…
Sora: Let me guess, there isn’t anything.
Doc: Well…Yeah.
Sora: Is there anything you can do about it?
Doc: Hold on.
Sora: sits up) ... (looks around).(kicks feet)
The doctor comes back in with some pills.
Doc: You can put your pants back on.
Sora starts pulling his clothes on.
Doc: Take two of these pills today, see if they work tomorrow.
Sora:What are they supposed to do?
Doc: It’s to help you produce sperm, but it kind of won’t be your DNA.
Sora: Its somebody else’s DNA?!
Doc: ...Yes..
Sora: Hahahahahahahahaha! That’s FUNNY!
Sora walks out, snickering to himself.
Doc:...Darn it.
Sora makes his way toward the hotel when-
Puppy: Arf!
Sora stops by the window again.
Sora: Hey there, boy. What’s up?
Puppy: playful growls) Grrrr! Grrr! Arf!
Sora: I gotta go, puppy! Bye.
Sora keeps walking.
Puppy: whimpers) Mmph! Grr! Mmph!
Sora: So cute.
Sora goes back to the hotel but Kairi isn’t there.
Instead there is a note that has “I went to visit Riku and Myra.” on the bed.
Sora: Oh great.
Sora plops on the couch.
In Myra's and Riku’s hotel room...
Kairi: What do I do?
Myra: Well, are you SURE you wanna have kids?...They’re loud, gross sometimes, and they totally get in the way of your love life. I’ll never forget the day Akira walked in on me and Riku having sex...My worst nightmare..(flashbacks) You should’ve seen the look in her eye...She'll be scarred for life...Of course YOU were the one who taught her all that R rated stuff that she shouldn’t be hearing. (points at Kairi)
Kairi giggles.
Kairi: You haven’t forgotten much, lately, huh?
Myra: Nope. It’s like my memory just kicked in full gear. But I did forget where I put my favorite bra yesterday…
Akira runs in.
Akira:...AUNT KAIRI!!! (pulls Kairi’s leg)
Kairi: Hey, mini-me...What’s up?
Akira: Why are you so sad?
Kairi: It’s nothing.
Akira reads her mind.
Akira: ...Are you SURE you wanna have kids?...They’re loud, gross sometimes, and they totally get in the way of your love life. I’ll never forget the day when I went to the bedroom to get my dolly and mommy and daddy were-
Myra: Okay, okay, Akira. That’s enough-
Akira: -doggy style.
Kairi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!AHAHA!!!!!!! AHA! (chokes) !!!(falls on floor) HAAAAAAA!!HAHAHAAAA!!! DOGGY STYLE!!!!HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Myra: hides face in hands) Jesus Christ.
Akira: What’s so funny?....Guess what, mommy!!!
Myra: What, you saw mom and dad doing it froggy style?
Akira: No! Guess again!
Myra: You have a bugar in your nose. (gets a paper towel)
Akira: Caesar is my new friend now!
Myra: Well, that’s nice. (holds Akira's head up)
Akira: I can do it myself, mommy!
Akira takes the paper towel and blows her nose on it.
Kairi: crawls up to seat and sits back down) Whew...Doggy style...I didn’t know you could take it like that, Myra!
Myra: Argh. (washes dishes)
Akira: gives Myra the paper towel)
Myra: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! (throws it away)
Akira: ...
Myra: ...Wanna help me take some orange juice back there?
Akira: Yes!
Myra: gives her a cup) Don’t spill it. (gets the other cups)
Akira: Okay, mommy! This one is mine!
Akira sips from the cup and walks to the back with Myra.
Kairi: sighs)
Myra and Akira take the orange juice to the back.
Kairi stands up with her purse that Sora recently bought her.
Kairi: Myra, I think I’ll go now.
Myra: Okayyyyy-
Rin: DOGPILE!!!
The kids jump on Myra.
Myra: HEY!!! Riku, help me!
Kairi flicks Riku’s head and walks out. When she gets home, Sora is asleep on the couch.
Kairi: Sora?
Sora: snores) Mmm-zzo. Mmm-zzo. Mm-zoo. Mm-zzzzo-
(The official snore of Sora)
Kairi kneels down beside him.
Kairi: Where did you go, Sora?
Sora: opens eyes) …I went to get a check up. (wipes eyes)
Kairi: For what?
Sora: For a sperm check…You said you wanted kids and the doctor said I couldn’t make any babies and now you’re gonna hate me-
Kairi: I don’t hate you...I love you.
Sora: But you want kids and I can’t-
Kairi puts her hand over his mouth.
Kairi: You talk too much. Go back to sleep Sora.
Sora: ... (snores) Mmm-zzo. Mmm-zzo. Mmm-zzo.
Kairi walks into the bathroom to take a shower.

... On second thought, just take the whole god damned thing from where I stopped writing.

In "The Mansion of Kovuecules”…
S-dad: And why the hell would I do that?
Tidus: As a favor?
S-dad: And HOW the hell would I do that?
Tidus: YOU’RE RICH! Call a meeting or something!
Selphie is over looking at paintings.
Selphie: Paintings are great.
S-dad: Okay, Okay…What do you want me to do?
Tidus: Call the whole town down, introduce me, and then leave it to me.
S-dad: Right. What makes you THINK u can do this?
Tidus: What?
S-dad: I can tell you right now what will happen. You will have a panic attack, get a nervous break down, or you’ll faint or have a seizure, Tidus.
Tidus: No, I won’t!
S-dad: You couldnt do it at the party! You almost pissed yourself, son!
Tidus: So!
S-dad: There were only a hundred people there! If I call the whole town down, you will be so scared stiff that you wont be able to kneel down in front of her!
Tidus: Nuh-uh!
S-dad: Yuh-huh!
Tidus: I’m not backing down!
Selphie: Paintings are great.
S-dad: Okay! OKAY! Damn! You’ve got me messed up, kid.
Tidus: You’ll do it?
S-dad: Straight up. You got it...I won’t say I told ya so. (pats his shoulder)
Tidus: Yeah, I will be the one telling you that. Be up bright and early, okay?
S-dad: scoffs) Ya right...That’s funny.
Kovue walks off.
Tidus: Jerk. Selphie let’s go!
Selphie: Okay! Tidus.
Tidus: Heh?
Selphie: These paintings are great.
Meanwhile BACK at Myra and Riku's house.
Myra: Yah! He just smashed it in with one hand.
Wakka and Myra are in the bathroom examining the mirror.
Wakka: And ya wan' meh to-a fix it, yah?
Myra: If you can.
Myra smiles.
Wakka: You look so cute when you smile, you know, man?
Myra: Really?
Wakka: Yah.
Myra: Well…That’s sweet of you! How about I get Riku to fix some lunch?
Wakka: Sure.
Wakka puts his arm around Myra and they leave the bathroom.
The next morning...Everyone is still asleep...
Sora and Kairi lay spooning together.
Akira and Rin are asleep, Akira holding Rin like a teddy bear.
Riku and Myra sleeping quietly, Myra's head lying on Riku's chest.
Tyra and Wakka snoring loudly, Wakka hanging halfway off the bed and Tyra hogging most of the covers.
Tidus and Selphie facing opposite of one another with their butts touching.
Selphie moves over and her hand slaps Tidus in the face.
Tidus wakes up and falls off the bed. He takes the ring out of his pocket and stares at it.
Selphie: wakes up) What’s that, Tidus?
Tidus shoves it back in his pocket and kisses Selphie.
Tidus: Nothing, sweetie. Hey get dressed; it’s time for us to go
Selphie: Go where? (grunts) Im still sleepy.
Tidus: Im gonna take u somewhere. Just dress casually.
Selphie: Okay…
Selphie yawns and closes her eyes again. Tidus and Selphie sort of had a rough night.
Selphie: Put me down. (opens eyes)
Tidus: Go get dressed. (sets her down)
Selphie lays one the floor and closes her eyes to go to sleep.
Tidus: Selphie!
Selphie: WHAT?! (gets up)
Selphie puts on a cute short skirt and a lacy t-shirt, and like always, she covers herself with perfume.
Tidus: pulls jacket on)
Selphie: Tidus, you never do these things right.
Selphie buttons up Tidus’s jacket for him and untucks his collar from his shirt.
Selphie: Where are we going?
Tidus: It’s a surprise.
Tidus takes her hand. He takes her to Kovue’s mansion…
In Kovue’s bedroom…
S-mom: giggles)
S-dad: Hehehe Hehehe-
They’re under the covers laughing, as you can see…
Tidus: knocks on door) ...
S-dad: It’s getting kind of hot under here. How about you take some of those clothes off, ya know?
S-mom: Ohh, I gothcha.
S-dad: Uh-huh. Daddy likes that!
Tidus: knocks on door)
Selphie is looking at paintings again.
S-dad: comes up from covers) While you’re down there, how about a little sucky-
Tidus swings the door open.
Tidus: DID YOU CALL THE MEETING YET?!
S-mom: pops head from under covers) ...I thought you LOCKED the door!
S-dad: I did!
Tidus: It wasn’t locked!
S-mom: Anyone could have walked in, Kovue! You’re trying SO hard to get in the paper!
She shakes her fist and hit and stomps into the bathroom.
S-dad: Man, Tidus! You’re messing with my g-a-m-e!
Tidus: Whatever, just get up!
S-dad: Why?
Tidus: You were supposed to call the meeting!
Selphie: What meeting?! Tidus, why are we here?
S-dad: Oh!
Kovue hops out of his bed, butt naked and grabs the shouts for his servants.
Tidus: Put some clothes on!
Selphie: It’s HUGE-
Tidus: covers Selphie’s eyes)
Kovue consults his assistant, and his assistants get his messengers to call the town down. Of course not the whole town had time for it but plenty are there- mostly girls who adore Kovue.
The town’s people crowd around Kovue's mansion. Tidus, Selphie, and Kovue are standing on the balcony thingy.
S-dad: talks thru megaphone) Hey, everybody! This guy has something to say!
All the girls cheer for Kovue.
1Girl: I LOOOOOOVE YOU!!!!
2Girl: TAKE MY VIRGINITY!
3Girl: NO TAKE MINE!
S-dad: SHUT THE F**K UP!
Everyone is silenced.
Tidus takes a deep breath and kneels down in front of Selphie. Selphie watches Tidus take out the ring and then looks at the crowd too to guess if Tidus can actually do it.
Selphie: Oh my god...
Tidus opens his mouth and this time something actually comes out. Kovue gives him the megaphone.
Tidus: Selphie, even though it’s hard for me to express my feelings for you, everyday they grow and I felt it was time for me to ask you. I love you with all of my heart.
The crowd is silent.
Tidus: Will you marry me?
Selphie squeals and jumps up and down.
Selphie: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (jumps) GIMME!
Tidus smiles and puts the ring on her finger. Selphie pulls him up off his knees and kisses him all over his face. The crowd claps and cheers- mostly for Kovue.
Tidus: Whew.
Selphie: stares at ring)
Tidus looks over at the crowd and gulps.
Selphie: Wow, Tidus! How did you pay for this?!
Tidus: Um...I forgot.
Everyone in the crowd is staring at them.
Tidus: sweats)
Selphie: Like 1000 bucks? (stares at ring)
Tidus: gets dizzy) ...
Selphie: Maybe 1050?
Tidus: Whew. (wipes sweat off of forehead) Uh-
Selphie: Did you spend THAT much money on me?! …Tidus?
Tidus faints. Kovue catches him and the crowd gets really loud.
S-dad: At least he made it through the first part.
Selphie: What happened to him?!
S-dad: He’s only fainted! Take him and fan him or something.
Selphie: Okay.
Selphie turns to the crowd and waves her hand in the air to show off her ring and then drags Tidus to the back room.
A group of people in the crowd are-
Kairi: They’re getting married!
Myra: They’re getting married!
Tyra: Oh hooray.
Myra: ...Who's getting married?
Kairi: ...Tidus and Selphie.
Myra: Really? When did this happen?!
Kairi: Just now.
Myra: Man! I missed it!
Kairi: shakes head)
Kairi snatches Sora’s hand.
Kairi: Come on, sweetie, we have to go congratulate them!
She pulls him through the crowd, looking for the secret entrance for the mansion.
S-dad: holds megaphone) And I was like “Up yours”!
Crowd: laughs)
Kovue is telling jokes.
Akira and Caesar are sitting on the ground, playing with rocks.
Rin is clinging to Myra's leg.
Rin: ???!!
Wakka is standing behind Myra, pressing himself against her...In a very intruding way.
Wakka: Hehehe-
Myra: Huh?
She turns around.
Myra: Hey, can you back up some? You’re really close.
Wakka: Oh-a sorry man.
Wakka backs up.
Wakka: I think it’s time for us to leave, Tyra.
Tyra: Yeah, these chicks are getting annoying.
Wakka picks Caesar up and smiles at Myra one last time.
Caesar; Bye, Akira! (blows a kiss to Akira)
Akira: Bye.
Rin: ?!BYE!
Tyra touches Wakka’s shoulder.
Tyra: Let’s-
Wakka: Don’t-a hit me, Tyra!
Tyra: I didn’t hit you!
Wakka: Yes you-a did!
Tyra: Just come on! You’re such a drama queen!
She takes his hand and they leave.
Kovue keeps telling lame jokes until almost everyone is gone.
Back inside...
Kairi: You’re getting married!
Selphie: I’m getting married!
Kairi: Yay!
Selphie: I might even have his baby!!!
Kairi: YAH- WHAT?!
Selphie: I-uh-was just thinking about it.
Kairi: Then...Everyone will have a kid except me.
Sora: SIGH!
Selphie: You want kids?!
Kairi: Um…Yes..?
Selphie: But Sora's got like a disability, right?
Kairi: Yeah, it’s a low sperm count.
Sora: Grrrr.
Selphie: What are you going to do about him then?
Kairi: I have no idea what-
Sora; YOU CAN F**KING STOP TALKING ABOUT ME, THAT’S WHAT YOU TWO CAN DO!
Sora grabs his jacket and walks out, shaking his head.
Kairi: ...See what you did, Tidus!
Tidus is still knocked out.
Selphie: I think sperm cells aren’t the only cells he's missing...It seems like Sora is missing a few brain cells too.
Kairi: He's just under alot of pressure.



That should keep you happy for weeks! <.<;;
 
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