HEY HEY HEY! She said she was doing mine first!!!!!! (grabs TLP and hugs her) MINE!
When Tidus wakes up...
Selphie: You okay, sweetie?
Tidus: ...You’re not mad about the marriage thing?
Selphie: scoffs) Well, I thought it over and I don’t want to marry u either.
Tidus: Why?!
Selphie: Well...You’re not that type.
Tidus: TYPE?
Selphie: The type.
Tidus: What type?!
Selphie: ...The dreamy...type.
Tidus: I’m not dreamy enough?!
Selphie: And we do fight a lot.
Tidus: No we don’t!
Selphie: So, you wanna marry me?
Tidus: No!
Selphie: I don’t wanna marry you either!
Tidus: I DONT WANNA MARRY YOU!
Selphie: So. YOU SUCK!
Tidus: Excuse me? You’re the cock sucker here!!!
Selphie: gasps) …You’re ugly!
Tidus: Your chest is too flat!
Selphie: YOUR CROTCH IS TOO FLAT!
Tidus: You make me sick!
Selphie: There’s a toilet!
She points to the bathroom.
Selphie: Go puke in it!
Tidus: F**k you!
Selphie: F**k me then! That seems to be all you want me for!
Tidus: I’m leaving!
Selphie: Leave!
Tidus: Fine!
Selphie: Fine!
Tidus: Fine!
Selphie pushes Tidus out of the room and slams the door in his face.
Selphie: Stupid donkey boy.
Tidus: takes out marker)
Tidus draws and ugly man on her door.
Tidus: Stupid donkey girl. (leaves)
The wedding day...Tidus and Selphie are the only ones in the benches before the wedding. Everyone else is helping Riku and Myra.
Tidus: glares at Selphie)
Selphie: glares at Tidus)
Tidus: crosses legs) (clears throat)
Selphie: folds arms) Hmmph!
Tidus: pops knuckles and stretches) Ahhhhh...
Selphie: flings hair back)
Tidus: kicks sand forward)
Selphie: ... (kicks sand forward)
Tidus takes his tie off and scoots closer to Selphie.
Selphie: I’d keep that tie on if I were you...I could easily strangle you with it.
Tidus: You think you’re so cute, don’t you?
Selphie: rolls eyes at him) Spaz.
Tidus: I’m a spaz, huh?
Selphie: You’re a spaz.
Tidus: Well I don’t even know what that is. (elbows her)
Selphie: Don’t touch me.
Tidus: pokes her) Touch. (pokes her) Touch!
Selphie: punches him in the crotch)
Tidus: … Oof! Oh hell no! (gets up)
Selphie: Gasp! (jumps over benches and hides at the alter)
Tidus: climbs over benches and stands at the alter) Ha!
Tidus grabs a handful of cake and smashes it in Selphie's hair.
Selphie: TIDUS!
Tidus: puts cake on her face)
Selphie: pours punch on him)
Tidus: gets cake and shoves it down her undies)
Selphie: Stop!
Tidus: What?
Selphie: pours punch down his pants)
Tidus: Collllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllld!!!!!!!
Selphie pushes him on the table and they start rolling around all over the cake.
When everyone else comes out…
Riku: Holy-
Myra: Oh-
Tyra: My-
Myra: GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!! (echoes) ...I broke a nail.
Riku: The alter is screwed up!
Wakka: The cake!!!!!
R-dad: Ohhh....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Selphie: stops choking Tidus) ...Um...
Tidus: She did it!
Selphie: He did it too!
Riku: I’m ready to kick someone’s ass! WHO DID IT?!
Tidus: I did it...Don’t blame Selphie...My bad.
Selphie: hides behind Tidus) ...No! It’s my fault!
They start arguing over whose fault it is.
Later...Everything is cleaned up, Pirate is giving the speech, everyone is watching, and Tidus and Selphie are both sitting in the back with black eyes.