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What to Talk to People About? (In the Process of Making Friends)



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Taokitty

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This is an issue I seem to have. At the current moment, I am unable to make friends (except for one) and was curious what does one speak with friends? How do I fit in with normal society, where everyone seems to know each other and care for each other (though, I should know better that this is probably an illusion)? Unfortunately, I am being self-absorbed at the moment for I have read up that I should talk to the person beside me in class (speak of little things like complaining about all the damn projects we get or how I'm doomed in the long run), always show genuine interest in the other person (I must become a better listener and become interested in the person), ask questions, etc.

However, I ask too many questions (or am prone to) since I usually have little to give into the conversation or say too much which causes the scale to imbalance. So I'm curious; what do teenagers usually talk about that is a general all good conversation to develop a friendship that I can look up on? For example, should I look up stuff on gossip or the news; listen to rap, go to parties or conventions, etc?

I believe I have a general idea of what I am supposed to do, however, I think I would like general support in how to accomplish this and just to fortify my thoughts or research done and to help encourage me from there. Something to look back on to keep me going, in essence. (Forgive me for being self-absorbed and seeking attention; I believe it could be beneficial to me in the long run by absorbing what people say in response).

If someone could give me a list of how to act in common situations, that could help too.

Any help is appreciated, thank you.

-Taokitty-
 

Q

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get an inside joke going is an easy way to do so, once you know the person a little bit. that's an easy way to get good friends.

and most kids don't listen to rap music, and if they do they're usually fucktards D:
 

Professor Ven

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Gee, that's totally positive Sam.

Personally, Taokitty, listen to Dane Cook, or Pablo Fransico. Hit up some George Carlin for jokes and that stuff. You should try complaining about crap in school or something - make it funny.

Find people who like what you like, or something.
 

Professor Ven

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Wow, troll.

Eh, KHI at it's best :lol:

And here I thought all the old elitists died out, but Silh is still around..old bastard he is lmao xD

But yeah, George Carlin is the shizz..
 
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You think too much about what you're "supposed" to talk about. A conversation ought to flow naturally, try not making it so scripted. Don't worry about what to say.

Practice ad libbing a conversation with your pet cat or deaf grandmother.
 

Papou

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Common interest and shared experiences are usually how people make friends. Sometimes making a complaint can be a good way to start a conversation, but I wouldn't go around whining to people about all of your homework. I ask casual acquaintances how their weekend was or something like that to start a conversation. Kind of lame, but you might find that you won't have anything very good to say to a person who you have lousy chemistry with.

I wouldn't advise you to listen to Dane Cook or rap music unless your goal is to become a douchebag.
 

Professor Ven

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Go for small talk first, then let the conversation go from there. Works for me all the time. (Socializes with complete strangers all the time, usually is fun getting to know new people..unless they're mean and nasty and ewz..)
 

King Sora X

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To make friends you need to first find a group of people you at least feel confortable around, and once you have reached that far, then just start talking to those people. You know about stuff in which you dislike, that you like, current events. then after you have reached that far, invite them to play sports with you or something like that, reach out to them; you be nice to them, and you will surely make friends in no time. =)
 

dr.korytco

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If you want to be friends with someone then you're going to have to share some sort of common interest with them, so try it out on a few people.

Forget about normal society , just remember to talk to people physically share a common interest and if things click they click and you have a friend, at the least you have a friendly associate who isn't your friend , friend but someone who will talk to you , and someone you can talk to.
Normal society is bland and robotic, doesn't exist.


Start talking before its too late, don';t get introverted , ok?

Don't be afraid to be yourself, and to be how you want others to see you, don't change for anyone , and let those that understand you understand you, and those that don't won't .

You just have to become social if you want to find friends, friends don't come to you right away like magic, you can't get along with everyone, everyone is different, if you want friends then share a common interest, you aren't that unqiue and someone just may be interested in what you are interested in.
 

Taokitty

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Thank you. Hopefully I'll be able to find someone who would like to talk of abstract things; such as good and evil, why people are the way they are, psychological differences in gender that generally occur, etc. And of things like videogames, perhaps, and anime and such.

So I can assume are my interests. I suppose that makes me as they call it- a nerd? Ah well, tis not a bad fate.

I suppose somethings girls may have in common is trouble in the fashion world or their clothing and how much it cost, gossip, hair, makeup, etc, or so is a possibility with some of the females in my class. Not all, of course, but it may be general interests the gender in particular may warm up to more so.

Thank you for the help everyone, I appreciate it. I will try to do my best to be myself ^.^
 

Aqua.

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dont get clingy... dont be so whiny or dont always complain about YOUR problems... ask about who the like or something and swear you wont tell and you're pretty much friends with that small trust.. and then you can talk about that.. and that makes the person feel more like friends with you. iuno, just some advice...
 

xfeR

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The "Be Yourself" thing never works, huh?

Well...show them that you can be nice, trustworthy, and maybe hang out with the somehow, someway.

If you are nice to them, and they still don't care about you, even just say hello, then damn them, they don't deserve some like you, find someone else.


 

The Conquerer

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I'm not sure how I can help you make friends. Maybe you just need to work a little on your image.

Like someone most likely mentioned earlier. You think a little too much. Of course, I'm not saying thinking is wrong, because its not, but the more you try to force something, the more awkwardly it will feel coming out. Think more about what you want to say or do, not what someone else might want you to say or do. Focus more on how you want yourself to be precieved, not by how much society wants others to precieve you. Kind of abstract I know.

Basically, don't let other people's perception of you become your perception of yourself, unless you want it that way.
 
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