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What lurks in my mind... I do not know (KH:COM related)



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Razorl

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Oct 11, 2007
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Fighting Terranort
Foreward - It is hard at best for me to discover the cause and exact reason I created this, I have no recollection of the night before which I believe is this piece of work's date of creation. Prepare for the unknown as this is not something you can predict easily with the judging by book cover and or title method.
Prepare is a keyword, all I know is that I wrote this sometime around 12 am last night and I found it sitting next to me when I woke up. Note that I am more or less revising this so it isn't grammerless.

The Boy reached the door to the final floor... This place was wicked. Blood covered the walls and floors of the castle and they all contained dark romantic poems or at least it would be called romantic by a dark and evil person.... The Boy entered the final floor and the stench of death was more apparent than anywhere else. The white walls and floors did not even appear but was covered in dried blood, He lit a torch and walked into the dark room of death.

A Blonde haired girl was sitting there holding someone with brown hair and was whispering something, but it did not take long for The Boy to realize that the other boy was already dead. The girl's face was covered in blood around the mouth and was almost stuck in a gaze upon the dead boy. A scythe was impaled in a impossible to recognize face which laid to the farthest back of the room. The door that barely lit the dark room creaked and shut and the torch was The Boy's only source of light. that... was when he noticed the girl was misssing a left arm and in it's place was a rusted curved blade covered in blood....
The girl stood up and smiled at The Boy and began to stumble towards him.

The torch was blown out by a dark wind.....
 

Finland

Banshee Queen
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Jun 10, 2008
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You should work on your grammar. And IMO the story goes forward a bit too fast. Not much, but a little.

Also, write longer. Are you going to continue this? You left lots of questions: Who are the boys?(although I think I know) Who is the girl and what's the secret behind her arm? Why did these events happen? What will happen next? This piece doesn't really have a storyline.
 
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